Chapter 41: Concealed Conversations

-Alexander POV-

It was a bitter pill, acknowledging that I wouldn’t be able to keep the terrible truth from Renji. I had tried, I had put on an act with a level of control over my body that many would consider completely inhuman. Renji, being Renji, had seen through it instantly.

There was pride too. Pride that I had created something as special as Renji, for I hadn’t expected him to come so far. In only a few weeks Renji had gone from an unquestioning pawn hyped on samurai roleplay to a genuine friend. Unfortunately that pride only fed into the bitterness.

I remembered what had happened once I realised where I was. The dumb shock, the cloying fear and the horrible acceptance that I was a dead man walking. For a very long time I had just sat at the bottom of that ocean crying – because what else could I do? Unlike many protagonists I had read about in fanfictions with a similar premise, I wasn’t anywhere near strong enough to tell Scion to fuck off.

And it wasn’t just Scion I needed to worry about. No, there was so much more that needed to be done.

That was what frustrated me about Cauldron. For all their faults they were one of the few groups that saw the conflict for what it was. Where other groups clawed in the dirt for power and land they were desperately burning themselves in an attempt to save all the Earths. Their methods were flawed, and kind of stupid, but at least they were focused on the bigger picture.

Except they weren’t. They got close. So painfully close, but then they tripped and fell right near the finish line.

Because all of their efforts had been to kill Scion, and nothing else.

In my opinion, killing Scion should have only been step one.

Scion was outlived by the Simurgh, and when the Simurgh was imprisoned within the Sleeper’s storm the Shard’s still existed. And if the Shards were to mysteriously drop dead simultaneously? Congratulations, there were still an uncountable number of entities crawling through the multiverse like maggots.

Many people from my old world had accused Cauldron of going too far.

But now that I was here I could only curse them for not going far enough.

I sighed, banishing those thoughts to focus on Renji. He was staring, waiting for the explanation I had promised him -and it would come. I just needed to do something first.

Ink spiralled across the ground. Wards and bindings cracked across the air, leaving a faint tang of ozone. Arcane sigils of secrecy and blindness were transcribed in perfect detail upon the suddenly perfectly flat ground beneath us. This alone would prevent Thinkers from viewing us and the surrounding five hundred meters.

It also wasn’t enough.

The Simurgh was well acquainted with working around blind spots. If she couldn’t observe us directly she would simply observe the surrounding photons, atmospheric disturbances caused by our movements, vibrations from our speech and a dozen other tells and work backwards from there.

So next I raised a dome, twenty meters across, of black metal around us. It cut through both sky above and the dirt beneath, sealing us within. The metal was of a special alloy designed to absorb all wavelengths of light and cancel out any vibrations.

Perhaps this would be enough, but living in this world had made me paranoid.

My power took a hold of the atoms around us, and scrambled them according to a random algorithm that was altered every three seconds.

Renji scrambled backwards, startled by the sudden emergence of the dome after such a long period of silence. Then he shivered, the temperature fluctuations caused by my power making him glance around warily.

A light illuminated the pitch black surroundings, a ball of fire held in one of my hands. It crackled and burned an intense orange as I cradled it. And now that Renji could see his surrounding I knew he had taken note of the way that light seemed to bend and twist near the borders of the protective encirclement of metal that I had made.

“Sorry Renji, just want to make sure no one can spy on us while we’re discussing this.”

Renji frowned at that, looking at the surroundings with a newer gaze – now clearly comprehending what I was trying to accomplish.

“That’s…fine. Just please warn me before you do something like this next time,” he chided, and I fought back the urge to duck my head down in embarrassment. It had been made clear to me, many times by now, that engagement with others was a skill I really needed to improve.

Not that I was likely to get a chance, considering most of the world would now run and hide the second they saw me.

I shook my head to dispel those dark thoughts.

“Alright, where to begin?” I pondered. Should I go straight to speaking about the Entities, should I try to ease him in by explaining individual shards? Maybe I should tell him about Cauldron and all their fantastic fuckups.

Oh, I know.

“So, let’s get this out of the way first. Renji, I can see the future,” I tell him. There was a brief impulse to pose dramatically after I said this, but it was a passing desire – something easily crushed by the mounting exhaustion of today.

Renji raised an eyebrow at that. “Truly, my liege? Then I must thank you for warning me about the ambush we walked into. That was well timed.”

If I could blush I would have.

“Renjiiii!” I groan. “It’s not that sort of future sight!”

My brief moment of levity was smothered by an impatient glare. Right, not the time.

I huff, before switching tracks.

“I saw a single timeline where I didn’t exist. It mostly followed certain events that will happen in America, that will go on to effect the world”

This time he seems to take me seriously, which is quite relieving.

“So, what happened in America?”

“Huh? Oh, most of what happens in Brockton Bay isn’t that important. There’s simply an individual there who happens to be in the right place and time to learn much of the secrets that are hidden.”

That was even true in my eyes. Taylor Hebert wasn’t special, not to the point of being some chosen saviour of all reality at least. She simply out-stubborned and out-bullshitted her enemies long enough to reach Golden Morning, and then died after distracted Zion long enough for an actual plan to be put together.

Then Zion got bullied to death, which was darkly hilarious.

Worm really went full circle, huh?

“The point is: because of that knowledge I also know about what’s going on behind the curtain.”

Renji nods, understanding my point but clearly wanting me to hurry my explanation along.

“Have you ever wondered where superpowers come from Renji?”

“What? Is it not magic?” Renji asked, looking bewildered. Almost as bewildered as I felt.

Why the hell did Renji assume it was magic? There wasn’t even magic in- oh wait. It was because of me wasn’t it.

Maybe I shouldn’t have explained SilkPunk to Renji.

“Ah, no. I’m kind of unique in being able to use magic Renji…at least I think I am.”

For some reason Renji nodded, as if this made perfect sense. Weird.

“To answer that question we have to go back about…a billion years or so? To be honest I’m not one hundred percent sure on the timeline here.” My words clearly weren’t encouraging regarding how much I knew in Renji’s mind so I hurried to continue.

“Regardless, In some random solar system there was a tear in the fabric of reality. Perhaps the radiation let off by the local star was unique in some way. Maybe the shifts and pulls of gravity were the cause. It doesn’t really matter. What does matter a planet would collide with that tear at periodic intervals.”

And fuck me if that wasn’t infuriating. The Entities, much like any other form of life, was a result of pure accident. If that rift hadn’t been there the local multiverse wouldn’t be an infested hellhole!

“This planet was special because it also possessed life. That life adapted to the local conditions, as well as the rift, and began to evolve in a certain direction because of it. Soon the dominant species gained senses that could observe other dimensions, and eventually they could even travel to them without the rift.”

Renji was clearly interested in where I was going with this, but had yet to see the bigger picture.

“These dominant lifeforms soon began to overrun all versions of their home planet. No other lifeforms were able to compete and were wiped out. No resource went unexploited. They drank their oceans dry. They ruptured the ground and plundered it for all its resources. Eventually they had used it all up and began to turn on one another.”

“Such selfish beings could never prosper,” Renji said, his tone betraying his distaste for the Entities.

Oh Renji, if only that were true.

“Unfortunately not all of them were so selfish.”

My words caused Renji to look at me in confusion. Clearly he didn’t understand why I believed selflessness on the part of this species was an unfortunate thing.

“There was one who saw what awaited them if they continued. They would consume each other until there was only one left, alone and trapped upon a lifeless husk of a world. Doomed to die. So it came up with a plan, and used all the energy it had to send a message that would reach all of its kin.”

I could feel my face twist into a snarl, my hands clenching hard enough for the surface layers to crack and crumble.

“It was a plan that would singlehandedly cause the most misery this multiverse has ever seen.”

The quiet that fell over that statement was oppressive. Renji stood, eyes wide and face pale, as he began to comprehend the scale of what I was talking about. Still, Renji was brave. So he pushed past his unease.

“…What was this plan that was so horrible.”

I shot him a brief humourless smile.

“First, they would finish what they started. Each Entity was devoured, and their energy and knowledge was added to the victors. Eventually one stood as the final winner of that horrible war. It then began to prepare for the next step. It encoded each of their shards with all the information they could. How to build an Entity, how to traverse dimensions and everything else they might need.”

I leaned in.

“Then, boom.” I pantomimed an explosion to accompany my words. “They directed energy towards the core of their planet, and the means by which the did so ensured it would affect the cores of every other version of their world. This explosion instantly destroyed the Entity, and even some of their shards. But most? Those were catapulted out of the solar system from the violent force of the cataclysm.”

Renji’s face began to show a horrified awe. I could tell he knew then the purpose of the Entities. Propagation. Pure, mindless, propagation. In truth the Entities hadn’t changed much since their days on their home planet. They had obtained god-like power, knowledge that would drive entire species insane and enough mass to make a star blush. But deep down they were still running the same software.

Survive and reproduce.

“Many of these shards died in deep space, never reaching a destination. Some were intercepted by rogue black holes or ended up crash landing in stars. But some survived, and landed on planets, and so the cycle began. They would examine the planet and steal anything of worth. Resources, knowledge, technology, and use those to build the body of an Entity – now improved by whatever they had learned from the planet they landed upon. They initiated the explosion that would destroy of every variant of that world and more shards were sent on their way.”

“My liege I can understand how this might be a problem, but how does this relate to our current situation? How does it relate to the Parahumans?” Renji asked.

“Because, over time, they began to become more efficient at what they did. Eventually the Entity began to survive the detonations of planets through their mastery of the physical. So, they could then devote their shards to more singular focuses. However entities aren’t the most…creative sort. If you put a problem in front of them they can crunch trillions of numbers to figure out the solution, but inventing entirely novel ways to use their abilities? Not so much. So-“

“So, they use others to do it for them,” Renji finished my sentence, looking sickened.

“Oh? You got that quickly.”

Renji spat to the side.

“They’re parasites, my liege, it’s not tricky to understand that if they lack something they will use or steal from others.”

Yeah that pretty much was the Entities playbook, wasn’t it?

“They remind me of something Taizong told me, creatures he called Gu. I was disgusted with the idea then and I remain so.”

Well, that was surprising. Both because I didn’t realise Renji had ever talked to Taizong and because I was surprised the topic of Gu had come up. What the hell kind of weird conversations were you having while I was building Jinzhou, Renji?

Gu poison was essentially the creation of a venom which involved sealing many poisonous creatures inside of a container. Allegedly they would devour each other and concentrate their poisons into the sole survivor. This survivor would then be fed upon by larvae until it was completely eaten. The sole surviving larvae would then possess the final, most potent, version of the venom.

Obviously this wasn’t actually the case, and was mostly based upon Chinese folklore. While the end product would likely be poisonous it wouldn’t be some super concentrated poison that could fell an immortal, or something equally silly.

I pointedly ignored my SilkPunk specialty informing me that I could absolutely do this.

Still, now that he mentioned it, the resemblance was uncanny. A collection of dangerous creatures trapped in a single location that fed upon one another in order to gain in power. The jar in this case would have been their home planet, and while they weren’t poisonous in the traditional case they were certainly poisonous to other life they came into contact with.

“I hadn’t made the connection before you mentioned, but I can see why you’d think that. But, yes. The Entities farm sapient life for their creativity. Each Shard connects to a lifeform and allows them to use the barest sliver of their power. All while the planet is scanned extensively, allowing the Entities to simulate the future with startling accuracy.”

Renji frowned at that, reaching up with his hand to stroke at his chin contemplatively. “So we are outnumbered many times over, our enemies have the information advantage and most of humanity is already subverted. I can see why you are distressed by this, but surely with your power we could overwhelm this Entity?” Renji asked me, still believing in my strength wholeheartedly.

Unfortunately I would need to rip that band-aid off.

“Renji, I’m about as strong as a singular Shard.”

The slight smile on his face faded at those words, and he once more scrunched up his face – trying to search for answers. I admired that. Even after being told the person he most looked up to was little more than an ant next to the enemy Renji was still looking for ways to win.

“Renji…” I began, looking for a way to break the truth to him in a way that would hurt the least.

“I really can’t adequately explain just how powerful these things are. They use supernovas worth of energy to communicate with each other. Their main method of fighting each other involves attacking across every dimension at once.”

Renji’s eyes lit up.

“So they can be killed then? Maybe we could replicate this method?”

I grimaced, he wasn’t getting the point. How could I make him understand?! Even in Canon, the best possible future for humanity occurred and they were still fucked. Now that I was here, that future was unlikely to happen anymore. Fuck, what if I had killed someone important during that last battle?

“Renji, I can’t,” I say weakly. “I wouldn’t even know how to begin something like that.”

“Then we find another way,” Renji said simply, once more beginning to mutter under his breath. I didn’t care to hear what he was cooking up, it was all so meaningless! Why was Renji even wasting his energy?!

“Renji, we can’t beat it.” I said as clearly as I could. I saw him frowning and beginning to say something, but I cut him off.

“No, listen to me! Humanity has already gotten stupidly lucky already! Usually a cycle like this would have two Entities overseeing it, but one managed to kill themselves in an accident. That was pure luck! Then the other Entity, instead of trying to dedicate it’s time to fixing them or going into a blind rage, fell into depression. That was also pure luck!”

I began pacing, anything to work off this manic energy that was suffusing me – this mad panic and fear that I was trying to convey.

“After that is Cauldron who, despite their many fuckups, managed to keep society on life support! More luck! And in the future? The only reason humanity may last longer than a few years will be down to luck again! Not intellect, because this world is completely lacking in it! Not strength, because they’re trying to fight with stolen embers of power! Not compassion, because this humanity is a complete caricature of the species I know!”

Renji watched me pace, his expression flickering between concern and compassion. I looked away. I didn’t want to see him look at me that way. I didn’t deserve it.

“You’ve been carrying this burden alone for quite a while now. I’m sorry for not noticing sooner, it must have been tough,” Renji said. A part of me wanted to start crying at how understanding he was, the other wanted to rage and scream – I had never wanted him to notice!

“…I didn’t want to drag you into a pointless battle. Even if we fight we’ll-“

“No.”

The retort was swift and final in its judgement. The fierce rejection of me words left me without words.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘no’?” I ask Renji, still baffled by his sudden reply.

“It means no, my liege. It would not be pointless.”

His words were once more implacable, as if he was uttering a truth so obvious it didn’t even need to be questioned.

“How?!” I exploded. My patience truly running out in the face of this bull-headed ignorance. Surely he didn’t still think I could fight what was coming? Even after I had told him it would amount to nothing in the end?!

“How is it not fucking pointless Renji?!”

I was looming over him now, and I was unsure when I had gotten so close to him. But that query was buried under the all consuming rage and frustration I was feeling.

 In just a few years a multiversal apocalypse will begin and kill quadrillions at best! You, and I, will almost certainly be dead! This world will be a barren husk! And humanity will be doomed!”

Each declaration was spat out with burning rage, punctuated by sharp poked delivered against his armour. My fingers dented the metal with the force, echoing shrieks of metal bouncing across the dome. Despite that Renji stood his ground, now glaring back at me.

“It.” He began, slapping my finger to the side and stepping forwards to meet me.

“Is not.” He craned his neck upwards, meeting my own gaze.

“Pointless!” He yelled out, the force buffeted my hair back.

For a moment we just stood there, panting despite neither of us needing to breathe. My eyes were wide in shock now. I had never heard Renji yell at me before, and I couldn’t deny a dull pang of hurt that came from that realisation.

“How can you  say it’s pointless?!” Renji asked me.

“You! The one who rescued the prisoners of the C.U.I. and granted them a home where they could be safe! You! The person who continued trying to make the world better, despite them continuing to spit upon and misinterpret your works?!”

He suddenly quietened down after that, and what he said next in a small -sad- whisper rattled me to my core.

“You. The person who made me.”

Renji stared at me searchingly at that, gazing for something I was suddenly afraid I didn’t have.

The fear was stupid, illogical. I didn’t even understand what I was afraid I might be missing in that moment. So I took my chance to once more talk, to try one last time to convince him.

“I did do those things,” I admitted sombrely. “I gave the people of Jinzhou hope for a better tomorrow, but if that tomorrow is etched with nothing but a painful death then what good was it?

“Yes, I tried to make the world a better place. And failed miserably!” My voice picking up steam as I remembered the countless dead I had left in my wake.

“I created you…” I said, trying to think of a counter-argument to that.

I couldn’t. So I moved on instead.

“I have done all of those things, but the end result wouldn’t have changed even if I hadn’t done those things! If everything will end because of those parasites, with no one to remember us, then how is it not pointless!” I finished, feeling like my heart was going to tear itself out of my chest. I felt sick, both present and unnervingly distant.

I heave with lungs that do not exist. I stare at him with a face that is not mine. I await his response with ears that do not work as they should.

“Because fuck that.” Renji’s reply was as swift as it was crass – and I could only gape at an answer I never would have expected. My focus snapping back because of his words.

“Even if I accepted you claim that the end destination -our destruction- is fixed, how we get to that point matters.”

I go to interject, but something about Renji’s voice makes me stop. This was a day full of firsts it would seem. I remembered when I first created him, he was all force and flame and belief. Then we had travelled to Jinzhou together, and the gap between us had been blurred. Renji still had his respect, still had his loyalty, but it had been tempered with familiarity.

Then we had arrived in Jinzhou. It was Renji’s first time in the outside world, his first time interacting with others beside me. It had opened him up to new perspectives. Instead of blindly following my every whim, he had instead pushed me to take on responsibility for the people I had saved.

Now, following Hyderabad and the disastrous battle, he had gotten a glimpse of who I was – down to my core. He clearly didn’t like what he saw, yet was still adamant in trying to reach out to me. To build across that great divide in perspectives.

“If a man faces his death head on, trying to surpass it, is he the same as a coward who sacrificing everything and everyone around him to stave it off for just one more day? Both meet their ends, but they couldn’t be more different -even if nobody remembers them.”

‘Oh.’

In that moment I come to a chilling realisation.

“If a world is staring down annihilation and bands together to try to fix whatever is threatening them the they are not the same as the world that tears itself apart out of fear.”

The look in his eyes, that burning resolve and the surprising care he had developed for others.

‘He would do it wouldn’t he? Even if I refused to help him, he’d still try to fight Scion.’

“So don’t tell me it’s pointless!” He spits the last word in disgust. “Every choice we make matters!”

I stare at him, eyes wide and my body trembling as I realise the magnitude of the mistake I had just made.

I had killed him.

I had just killed my best friend.

A hoarse whine escapes my lips, as I fall to the floor. I cannot cry, but my eyes burn regardless.

I feel Renji slide up against me, trying to offer some comfort, but my mind feels like a whirlwind, frantically whipping about in distress. There’s a horrible sensation clawing at my gut. A coldness seeping through my veins.

I hear dull noise to my left, but it seems so far away.

I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had killed him. I had-

A shrill beeping sound erupts to my left, and I flinch as the world comes back into focus.

It’s Renji. He’s holding a timer in his hand, looking at me with wide and worried eyes.

That alarm, wasn’t it the same one we used for cooking? Or was it the one we had used to track when we arrived?

I didn’t know. But the coldness was receding. I was slowly clawing back control.

“…Renji,” I began with a weak voice, trying to find the words. But they wouldn’t come.

“Alexander. You said the odds of one of the entities dying was miniscule, correct?”

I nodded blankly, my head still pounding – and my thoughts feeling like thick syrup.

“You said the other falling into depression was also extremely lucky?”

I once more nod, my muddled thoughts trying to make sense of where he was going with this.

“In this future you saw, did humanity continue to get lucky?”

“More than they should have,” I respond flatly. “They manage to ‘beat’ Zion and trap the Simurgh, but they weren’t lucky enough to deal with all the Shards.”

Renji hummed in thought, rubbing one of my palms in a circular motion. It was nice, grounding.

“Then it seems to me that this is quite the hopeful world.”

My head snapped towards him, the trickling thoughts in my head grinding to a halt at the absurdity of what I had just heard.

“I’m serious,” Renji smiled – seemingly amused by the expression on my face. “From what you’ve described humanity should have been dancing along on strings, never uncovering the source of their woes before their untimely extinction.”

The smile on his face widened, changing from his previously amused expression. Many emotions were blazing across his eyes: pride, determination, happiness and more. If I had to describe it with a single word I would say Renji looked touched by my explanation on what humanity had managed to endure.

“Lighten up Alexander! Our odds against this foe may be slim, but from the sounds of it isn’t this the kind of world where you bet on the long odds? Where you attempt to pull off miracles?”

Renji stepped back now, and I could only follow him dumbly as he raised his fist towards the sky.

“So why not try? Humanity is still here. Yes, it’s twisted and battered but isn’t there still something worth preserving here? Don’t allow the slow descent into nihilism mar you, my liege! I’ve been with you my entire life, so I know you’re better than that!”

Then Renji held out his hand.

“So let’s give it a shot, eh Alexander?”

I stared at that outstretched hand, then back to him. My mind was stuck on his words, they repeated endlessly inside my brain. Hopeful? Renji thought this world was hopeful? Of all the word he could have used to describe this world that was-

That was-

“Pfft”

I couldn’t help a snort escaping me, the ridiculousness of his words still resounding in my head. The snort soon turned into guffaws and then booming laughter that rocked the inside of the dome. The heaving catharsis echoed across the small space we were in, and all the while Renji looked on with a small smile.

“Hehehehehe. Ha…ha….ha.”

Eventually my laughter turned subdued, and then silenced itself. Yet my lips were still upturned the tiniest amount.

“Renji…You’re completely ridiculous. Who would even say something like that with a straight face?”

“My face is not straight, my liege, it is smiling, see?” Renji gestured with a finger at the wide grin that now blossomed upon his face.

“You know what I mean, you dick.” I snorted, before sighing slightly. Darker thoughts returning.

“I’ll think about it Renji.”

“That’s all I can ask, my friend.”

AN: Okay, this is definitely the longest chapter yet. Probably close to 5K words. As you can see Alexander was never okay with being in Worm. They were able to cope slightly by mono focusing on their newfound hobby, but they were still stressing out about the whole ‘world is gong to end and an uncountable numbers of humans are going to die.’

Thankfully Renji has been around just enough to know Alexander’s bullshit is just an excuse. Obviously Alexander isn’t fully convinced and down to fight Scion yet, but this argument has knocked him out of his funk and will allow him to consider other methods besides ‘Just wait for inevitable death to come.’

Next chapters should be building the new Hyderabad, not that it’s going to be called that by anybody after Alexander is done, a Cauldron meeting and what the Fallen are up to before Alexander and Renji head off. Though this time they’re not headed towards a previous Endbringer site.

Thanks for reading, please leave a comment.