Don't Spend the Night

I looked away as the cashier scanned the pills. I just wanted him to hurry up so I could get out of the store.

"Gender change pills, eh?"

Great. I turned back and muttered. "Yeah."

He shrugged, hmmphed to himself, tossed them into the bag, and then continued scanning the rest of my groceries.

"Well, if you want my advice, it's simple. Don't spend the night."

"I don't want your advice."

"Look, I know the drill. You just turned 21 and you want to experiment. It's fine. You have a friend with a big cock who has promised you one helluva ride, no strings attached, and you're going to hop on because YOLO and stuff."

"Look, can you just scan my groceries?"

"The thing is, you are right. There is really no risk in a night of fun. Hell, I've done it. It was great. I still think about it. But promise me — don't spend the night. I know too many dudes who are chicks now because they didn't follow that one simple maxim."

My curiosity was piqued, though I tried to play it off. I swallowed and whispered. "Why shouldn't I spend the night?"

He stopped scanning. "It's simple really. If you stay the night you are probably going to fall asleep. Women get cold, dude. Especially their arms and legs. It's a thing about being a woman. You'll get cold and he's going to lend you his t-shirt so he doesn't have to fight over a thermostat."

"So?"

"So there you are, falling asleep in his bed, him holding you, and that good-and-fucked feeling in your pussy. Your new tits will be all comfortable in his t-shirt, which basically means you'll be bathed in his pheromones all night. Sleeping. Dreaming. Spooning. His bulge pressed into your tight little ass."

"And?"

"And he's going to wake you up in the morning. And do you know what he's going to have when he wakes you up?"

"What?"

"A fucking HARD ON is what he's going to have! And you're not going to be able to say no at that point. In fact, in HIS t-shirt, in HIS bed, you have suddenly found yourself as 'Girlfriend Material.' And you won't mind feeling that way. You won't be able to say no. You won't WANT to say no."

"Oh come on, that is ridiculous."

"No, it's the truth. That'll be $124.55. Cash or card?"

"Card."

"Look. Don't spend the night, dude. Don't fucking do it, or you're going to find yourself in a long term relationship and feeling like a natural woman. Nature is powerful shit, dude. You'll thank me later."

"Okay, fine. I won't spend the night. Goodbye."

"DON'T SPEND THE NIGHT!"

Jeez. What an asshole. He's just overreacting. Besides — I want to drink tonight at Chad's place. It's not like I'm going to drive home drunk. Nothing weird is going to happen when I wake up. Nothing.

THE NEXT MORNING

"Good morning, dear."

Oh fuck.

"Wake up call."

He's so hard. . .

Just one more time in my mouth.

"I was thinking I could take you to breakfast. Want to go?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Good! I know a good place. And then we'll go to the park and check out this new art installation my friend told me about."

"Mmmhmmhph glk gluk gluk —"

"God, you're fucking good at that."

Giggle!