Cheaper by the Half-Dozen - Little Sh*t #11 [Part 2]

[Part 1]

I forgot to clarify in my last post, but just fyi, like last time, these parts will be merged together into one or two chapters when it is eventually finished. It's been a slow one to work on, so I've just been putting it out in smaller sections, so you don't have to wait as long!

———

Bakugou’s eyes cracked open when he heard shuffling, expecting to find Midoriya sneaking out of bed to pee or something, but instead he found two little faces peering up at him, fingers tangled in the blankets, eyes wide as they watched him sleep.

“Why are you being creepy?” he asked, groaning as he rolled over to shove his face into Midoriya’s chest. “It’s too early for this shit.”

“Katsu, hungry,” Eiji whispered. “Breakfast?”

“What time is it?”

“Dunno.”

Midoriya finally opened his eyes, glancing over Bakugou’s head to see the clock, and sighed faintly when he saw the glowing numbers on the bedside table.

“It’s not breakfast time, guys,” he said softly. “What are you doing up here?”

“Wemembed,” Shouto said proudly. “Found you.”

“Yeah, you’re very clever,” Midoriya praised. “But it’s sleep time, not breakfast time.”

“Hungwy,” Shouto said.

Bakugou groaned, but rolled over again all the same, opening a drawer to find a couple of bags of snacks he kept tucked away, hidden from the asshole classmates who would abuse the knowledge. Eiji gasped when he saw, and Bakugou just waved at it as he rolled over again, clinging to Midoriya like his life might suddenly depend on him getting as close as humanly possible.

“Take it and go back to bed,” he said stubbornly. “I’ll be down in...”

“Two hours,” Midoriya finished for him. “Have a good snack, then go get some more sleep, okay? We’ve got a big day ahead, you need to be all rested up!”

Shouto just nodded, clutching a bag of snacks in his arms as he toddled off toward the hallway, but Eiji bowed politely, closing the drawer behind them.

“Thank you Izu, Katsu. Goodmornight.”

He hurried off again, and Midoriya snuggled back in, absorbing Bakugou into his grip. Bakugou hummed contentedly, and Midoriya chuckled at him, but didn’t dare call it out and make Bakugou feel like he had to run away. They both fell silent again, cuddled together happily, but when an hour had passed with no luck in the sleep department, Bakugou finally let out a groan.

“Early start, nap later?” Midoriya suggested knowingly.

“Fuck this villain, I’m gonna kick his ass.”

“Get in line.”

Bakugou snorted, and Midoriya grinned when he looked up, their eyes meeting for the first time all morning.

“If anyone asks me to change a diaper, I’m quitting school.”

“I’m sure the adults will handle that bit,” Midoriya assured him. “Someone handled it without us when I was a baby, after all.”

“True. Alright, let’s go face the fucking day.”

They rolled out of bed together, trudging through their morning routines, only perking up a little when they made it downstairs to freshly brewed coffee. All Might sat slumped on the couch, eyes slowly following various kids as they ran back and forth, but thankfully avoided the doors – so far.

“Long night?” Bakugou asked knowingly.

“A little,” All Might admitted, smiling awkwardly. “A lot of bathroom trips, diaper changes, and unexplained crying.”

Bakugou turned on Midoriya immediately, glaring at him, and Midoriya grinned sheepishly as he held his hands up in surrender.

“No one has said you need to do diaper changes!” he insisted. “He wasn’t implying anything, and I wasn’t gonna say it!”

“No one expects you to change diapers,” All Might assured them both, managing a tired chuckle. “Aizawa is on his way over to help out, the two of us will handle it.”

“I will handle it,” Aizawa corrected him, holding the front door open while Eri followed him in. “Go get some rest.”

“I shouldn’t,” All Might began, glancing at where Denki and Mina were clearly hatching some sort of plan, a big bruise on Denki’s knee presumably the result of their last attempt. “There are a lot of them.”

“We’ve got this,” Bakugou assured him. “And here, take this with you. Didn’t get a chance last night.”

He held out the little box he’d picked up at the market, and All Might just blinked at him for a moment, only accepting it when Bakugou gestured with it again pointedly.

“Can I open it?”

“F’you want.”

He opened up the box, unwrapping the packing paper inside, and his eyes widened when he found the perfect little glass lizard, carefully lifting it out to look closer.

“It’s wonderful, thank you! How did you know I like lizards?”

Midoriya stifled a laugh, but Bakugou just shrugged, looking away with his cheeks a little warmer than usual.

“Lucky guess or something,” he mumbled. “Go sleep.”

“Thank you, it was very kind of you to get me a gift. It’s beautiful.”

Aizawa waved toward the door, when All Might looked over at him, and with a final sigh, All Might caved.

“Alright, I’ll come back and help after some more sleep.”

“Don’t,” Aizawa said, before Bakugou could do it himself. “Take the day to rest and recover, we might need your help overnight again, if you can.”

“Of course I can! I’m more than happy to do my part, the students have all done so much with the earlier events.”

“Can you do us one favour, though?” Bakugou asked, ignoring the way Midoriya’s eyes shot to him curiously. “It’s kind of a big one, sorry.”

“Anything, Young Bakugou! How can I help?”

“Can you call Endeavour?”

Across the room, Shouto tensed up, and Bakugou knew Midoriya would be doing the same, even without looking over.

“He’s gonna throw a fit if we don’t tell him, again,” Bakugou explained. “But tell him Shouto wants to stay here, remind him that this Shouto hasn’t seen his... efforts. And tell him he can call me, if he wants updates or anything.”

“I’ll do that,” All Might agreed. “I should probably call the other parents, too, since the effects seem to be less predictable these days.”

“That’s probably a good move,” Midoriya agreed. “Please let them all know that the kids are safe and we’re keeping them happy and protected!”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you, All Might,” Aizawa said, glancing toward the door again. “Make sure you get some rest, once you’ve made the calls.”

As soon as All Might was gone, Eri was at the front door, carefully sticking child locks on. Bakugou cracked a smile as he watched, heading over to help, and she grinned up at him in thanks.

“I can reach it to get out if I need to,” she explained. “But the others are smaller than me!”

“It’s perfect,” he assured her. “You’re doing a good job.”

“Can I play with the baby again?”

She looked over at the group of kids, at where Iida barely kept himself sitting upright, and Bakugou nodded.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’d like that.”

Grinning, she hurried over to see him, and Bakugou watched as she pulled a book from her bag, showing tiny Iida the bright, colourful pictures on the pages.

“She’s decided babies are cute,” Aizawa explained. “But I think she’ll get bored quickly and want to play with the little girls instead.”

“Either way, she’s entertaining a kid the rest of us don’t have to occupy.”

“Very true.”

“Denki, get down from there,” Midoriya said with a sigh. “What are you doing?”

“Climbing!”

“No kidding.”

He plucked Denki off the windowsill, and Bakugou was quietly grateful for the locks that made them difficult for a child to open independently, wondering if he should find a few more of Eri’s child locks to add on, for extra security.

“And what about you?” Bakugou asked, turning his gaze on Mina as she flitted about nearby. “What are you doing?”

“Dancing!”

“You being his distraction or something?”

“No!” she huffed, cheeks puffing out indignantly. “I’m a ballerina so I gotta practice every day!”

Sure enough, her hair was pulled back in a messy little bun, her feet in pink socks in lieu of proper shoes.

“Good,” Bakugou said finally. “I like the dedication, well done. You need music?”

“Yeah!”

“What kind? Classical?”

“Kidz Bop!”

“Ugh, I wish I’d never asked.”

True to his word, Bakugou turned on the sound system, finding a playlist of music that he was sure would drive him insane within ten minutes. The music was bright and plucky and made him want to vomit, but Mina seemed pleased by it, so he resigned himself to suffering for the sake of peace. A little shyly, Ochako crept over to watch, and soon she was copying along, Mina giving her very serious instructions that she didn’t seem to mind following.

“We’d better start investigating breakfast,” Midoriya mumbled, glancing toward the kitchen. “They’ll get hungry soon. What do kids eat for breakfast these days? Rice? Toast?”

“How about that box of sugary cereal you think I don’t know about?”

Midoriya grinned sheepishly, and Bakugou gave him a smug look in return. He knew everything, even if his boyfriend sometimes thought otherwise.

“Morning, Shouto,” Midoriya said, as he headed for the kitchen, reaching over to pat a little head. “You sleep okay?”

“Uh-huh,” Shouto said, from where he had apparently glued himself to Bakugou’s feet again. “E’sept when I got hungwy.”

“How were your snacks?” Bakugou asked.

“Yummy!”

“Good. You still hungry for breakfast?”

“Uh-huh, I shared.”

“That was nice of you.”

Bakugou glanced over at the rest of the group, finding Eri delightedly feeding little Iida from a bottle, Eiji rubbing at his eyes as he crawled out of his blankets, the girls still dancing together to the shitty music, and–

Fuck.

Where the fuck was Denki?

He looked at the front doors first, finding the safety latch still securely in place, so that was a good start. Aizawa was watching over Eri, apparently unaware, and Midoriya was alone in the kitchen.

“Hey, did you see where Denki went?” Bakugou asked, looking down at Shouto and getting a little shake of his head. “Aizawa? Denki’s vanished.”

Aizawa groaned, but climbed to his feet to investigate – it was turning into Shinsou all over again, and they both knew it. Bakugou wondered what had happened to that damn toy cat, maybe they could make use of it again. It took him a minute, but Aizawa finally returned with Denki flailing under his arm, hauling him in from where he’d escape to an unsupervised hallway. Bakugou hated to think what he must have been getting up to, for Aizawa to look so visibly annoyed about it.

“Hey, you know what would be cool?” Midoriya spoke up. “We could make a fort!”

“Fort!” Eijirou echoed cheerfully, picking up his blankets from the night and sending an empty chip bag flying.

“Yeah! Blanket fort!” Midoriya grinned. “We can get some chairs from the dining room to help hold the blankets up!”

Apparently invested, Denki ran away from Aizawa’s lecture, grabbing an armful of blankets and pillows to hurry toward the dining room. Midoriya had planned on bring the chairs into the living area, but Eijirou was hurrying after Denki, too, and instead he just smiled faintly. They were building a dining room fort, then; so be it, it would do the job. He grabbed some more blankets and pillows, following after them, surprised to find Shouto hovering shyly beside him as he moved.

“Hey, Shouto,” he said softly. “You want to play?”

“What’s foot?”

“Fort?” Midoriya clarified. “It’s like building a little house or tent from blankets and stuff, like a little clubhouse. You can help us build if you want, or just watch, then play in it after.”

“I build.”

“Great, we’re lucky to have you!”

Shouto picked up a lone cushion that must have been thrown across the room at some point, for it to be so far from its home on the couch, his little arms wrapping around it to diligently do his part in providing materials. Eijirou and Denki had already gotten to work, pulling chairs back from tables and planning their creation – Midoriya was starting to regret the idea, seeing exactly how big the thing was about to grow.

“And a tunnel!” Eijirou was saying, dragging a chair over into a wonky line of them. “For quick escape!”

“Yes!” Denki agreed enthusiastically. “When the villains come, we can blow up the base and crawl out!”

“Villains?” Shouto asked nervously.

“Pretend villains,” Eijirou said gently, before Midoriya even got a chance. “You wanna play?”

Shouto nodded, holding out his cushion, and Eijirou and Denki welcomed him in with open arms, excitedly explaining their blueprint to solemn nods from Shouto.

Fuck how big it was, the kids deserved it.

“No adults allowed!” Denki said, poking out his tongue when he saw Midoriya watching.

“Izu isn’t an adult,” Eijirou objected. “He’s my friend!”

“He’s big.”

“Not as big as the teachers!”

“Hmm. That’s true,” Denki admitted. “Okay! Interview!”

“Interview?” Midoriya asked, trying his best not to laugh.

“To see if we give you a fort job!”

“Sure,” Midoriya said, grinning as he sat down opposite Denki. “What would you like to know?”

“Welcome to interview! What’s your name?”

“My name is Midoriya Izuku. Eiji calls me Izu, because it’s easier. You can too, if you want.”

“Thank you for coming to interview, Mister Midoriya. What’s your favourite colour?”

“Red.”

“Me too,” Eijirou said, sharing a smile with Midoriya over Denki’s head.

“Why red?”

His eyes drifted toward the living area, where Bakugou was standing beside Ochako, a pained look on his face as Mina kicked at his foot, trying to make him plié right. Midoriya couldn’t help but crack a smile, watching how irritated Bakugou looked by it all, and yet he was still obeying, still playing with the two girls and making them giggle. Midoriya suspected he’d slipped up, had accidentally let Mina find out that he’d taken ballet for a bit as a kid, before he got kicked out for being too disruptive.

“Because Katsu,” Eijirou said sagely, making Midoriya blush. “Katsu eyes?”

“Yeah,” Midoriya admitted. “I always thought his eyes were so cool.”

“Mine too?”

“Absolutely,” Midoriya said fondly. “Your red eyes are awesome as well, Eiji.”

“Yay!”

“Red is a good colour,” Denki agreed. “But yellow is better. Okay, question two! Are you a hero?”

“I will be. I’m still a student right now, but when I graduate, I’ll be a hero.”

“Hmm... That doesn’t sound like an adult.”

“Yeah,” Midoriya chuckled. “I’m not, yet. Just closer than you guys are.”

“Okay. Last question!”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you have snacks?”

Midoriya laughed, catching Bakugou’s eyes dart his way for a second in response – it was strange the way he always seemed to feel it, when Bakugou looked his way.

“I can bring snacks,” Midoriya agreed. “I was just about to make everyone breakfast, but I’m not a very good cook. What do you guys want to eat?”

“Sausages! Bacon! Eggs!”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Midoriya laughed – he was pretty sure he didn’t have any of those things in the fridge, but maybe one of them did. “Can you guys play with Shouto while I cook, then I’ll come back and play with you all after breakfast?”

“Half-play for half-adult,” Denki said, nodding. “Perfect.”

Sighing quietly, Midoriya finally stood up again, heading for the kitchen. Sure enough, Eijirou and Denki welcomed Shouto into their game, and with a tiny, shy smile on his face, Shouto helped them build. Midoriya thought he really should have found them some string, or something, but hey, maybe they’d be occupied for a little bit longer, trying to clumsily tie knots in the corners of blankets, or wedge them tightly between chairs and tables. At least the tunnel was easy, he supposed – that they just draped a blanket over, hiding the narrow passageway between the chair legs.

Meanwhile, Midoriya began rummaging through the fridge, uncovering a big package of bacon with Eijirou’s name on it. Of course he was the one who would keep a bunch of meat on hand! He whispered an apology to the older Eijirou, vowing to replace it later, but he also knew that Eijirou was far too nice to care if he borrowed it. He found a huge tray of eggs, too, with warnings scrawled all over it in marker, warning him to keep his filthy hands off or die a slow, painful death, so that came out to the counter, too. If he fried it all up and mixed it with rice, that would surely be enough to go around.

It didn’t take long before Bakugou was joining him, apparently freed from his impromptu dance class, pausing to press a barely-there kiss to Midoriya’s hair. The touch immediately pulled away when he saw his carton of eggs on the counter, and Midoriya turned around to see his eye twitching a little, his face thankfully more annoyed than actually angry.

“I knew you’d say yes,” Midoriya objected, before he could even voice a complaint. “I was saving time.”

“You’re so lucky you’re cute.”

Tiny, high-pitched coos came from the doorway, and Midoriya turned to see Ochako and Mina watching them and fawning, even Eri standing behind them with a fond look on her face. He felt himself quickly grow warm, turning back to where he’d been opening up the bacon to distract himself, but Bakugou just snorted, apparently amused by his stupid blushing.

“Jealous much?” Bakugou asked, winding an arm around Midoriya’s waist. “Am I wrong?”

“No, Deku-kun is cute!” Eri agreed, and Bakugou wasn’t sure if he felt triumphant or a little jealous. “You make him happy!”

“Damn right I do,” Bakugou said with a smirk. “I try my best every day, because that’s what good partners do. Don’t forget that, when shitty boys are trying to date you one day.”

“Or girls,” Midoriya added pointedly. “Or anyone else.”

“They all suck and you gotta kick ‘em all out unless they’re good to you.”

“Understood,” Eri said, snapping one hand up to a salute, though her wry smile ruined the effect a little. “I’ll make sure to bring you to meet everyone I like, so you can decide if they’re good enough.”

“Hell yeah you will,” Bakugou agreed, holding out a fist that she happily bumped. “I’ll sort those little shits out.”

“But before that, we need to all eat breakfast!” Midoriya said firmly. He didn’t like the idea of Eri dating, even though he knew it was still years away. “You all okay?”

“We’re good!” Eri confirmed. “I came for juice!”

“I’ve got it,” Bakugou said, reaching into the fridge. “You guys go sit down, I’ll be right there.”

Sure enough, he wedged a couple of cartons of different juices into one arm, brazenly stolen from all their classmates – not that Midoriya could judge – and picked up a stack of cups with the other, heading back toward the living area to deliver it all. Midoriya watched him go with a fond smile, having to force himself back to work on breakfast, to keep Bakugou from complaining at him – or at least teasing – when he returned.

“All good?” Bakugou asked, when he found Midoriya tossing chopped-up bacon into a frying pan.

“Yup! Do you wanna do the eggs? I always burn them.”

“Sure,” Bakugou agreed, surprisingly easily. “They are mine, after all.”

“Sorry,” Midoriya said, shooting him a cheeky grin. “I’ll repay the favour later.”

“By buying me more eggs?”

“If that’s what you want.”

Bakugou just stared at him for a moment, before a smirk slowly grew on his lips, and Midoriya knew his own face wasn’t much better.

“Deal,” Bakugou said. “I’ll make the best damn eggs you’ve ever tasted.”

“I look forward to it, Kacchan.”