Revelations ~ 🖤

Guys, thankyou so much for sticking with me! Here's an absolute content dump today, because I'm so grateful to still have you here supporting me, having faith that I'll provide some wonderous artful goodness for you to feast your eyes upon!

It's been an intense month. The good yet surreal news is that, at the age of TWENTY FUCKING EIGHT, I've just been diagnosed with ADHD. It's been a serious rollercoaster but I'm honestly so glad to finally have the explanation/validation of why I literally can't function like regular people 😅 There's been a lot of self loathing fuelled by the recent discoveries about myself, my behaviours & the newfound self awareness of all my flaws. The poor organization, inability to focus, forgetfulness, impulsivity... Etc etc. It's weirdly affirming to realise that it's not actually all shitty personality traits, but rather symptoms of a disorder that I can actually get some help for.

SO. I'll be starting meds really soon! Who's excited for an actual functioning Bethy that can deliver what she says and has the motivation and focus needed to bring about all the things she wants to? Honestly guys fucking aaaaaaaaaaaaa!! I spend so much time hating myself because I have lots of wicked ideas, yet I can't seem to bring them into reality. And this diagnosis is such a game changer. It really does go hand in hand sadly with a lot of negative self talk though, as it's really painful to see myself exhibiting such negative & debilitating behaviours, whilst simultaneously not yet actually having the tools needed to change them. So I just watch myself being shit without being able to fully work on it, and it spirals into mental health issues.

But the seriously positive thing... is just how temporary this is! Meds are to be started hopefully in a week or two and whilst I'm hella nervous, I can't wait to be functioning. My to do list in general is fuckin HUGE, but the list of cool shit I have planned for this page is also fairly mighty 😎

So yeah, basically I'm really really grateful for you all for being here whilst it's been a tough old turbulent time, and I'm elated to tell you just how soon I'll be medicated and able to deliver ~ !!

Onwards and upwards my loves 🤗🥰🖤

~ instagram.com/tomandersonphotography ~