this is not this week's post. wait until he posts a new one and re-post there or he won't see it
Owning My Shit
2023-05-10 17:58:33 +0000 UTC
Hello Rian, please advise. I have the opportunity to go back to a job where I am almost exclusively surrounded by hot young women, and I would be one of the only guys there. I worked there for about 4 years then started my own business. I need something to get me out of the house more. (Sometimes self employment leads to too much free time). Also, when I worked there it undoubtedly increased the competition anxiety in my wife. Not to brag but I know I am a very good locking guy. I'm fit, average height, make decent money, and have a couple "status symbols" I won't share publicly. I'm 27, and most of the girls I would work with are 18-25. My only hesitation on not taking the job is that I'm not sure if it would look weird. It's essentially a minimum wage job. It would be very obvious that I'm only working there one day a week as fun job, not for the money. The goal would be to get out of the house, socialize, and expand my social circle a little bit more. I'm just not sure if it would look weird, going back to an old job like that. You could call it a no experience needed high school job. Although when I worked there I hired many older people who just wanted a fun job ie. once a week or so. Anyway, enough rambling. Thanks for the read
2023-05-10 14:19:43 +0000 UTC
Field Report 1
Hello. First post. Married for 7 years. 2 toddlers. Wife pregnant. I am 40+, 6 foot, 190 lbs. Lifts: SBD 1RP: 345, 245, 405 lbs.
I am reading: NMMNG, and Praxeology.
Current Goals:
1. I am still in the anger phase. And I am generally dry-pan and emotionless, so acting cocky or amused is something I need to learn.
2. Figure out Comfort tests and Fitness tests.
3. I am clearly in her frame, so I need to work on my frame.
Comfort Tests:
My wife is probably pregnant, so I need to learn to pass Comfort and Fitness tests. Does anybody have any good books or articles that are very detailed on how to recognize and what to say in response? I am probably mildly autistic or something, so any suggestions such as “add more comfort” is meaningless to me. It doesn’t make sense to me. Since she calls me an asshole a lot, I think I am primarily failing Comfort tests. I am attractive and muscular, so I think there’s a level of automatic dread. She has already accused me of cheating numerous times, but I haven’t yet. So as the pregnancy continues, I need to get good at comfort.
Sex and kissing:
Sex is 3-4 times per week, and generally good. However, my wife does not like to kiss me and pulls away after anything more than a second. So yesterday, after the kids left the dinner table, I ask her “Why do you turn away when we are kissing?” She gave some excuses, so I said, “This is what I mean to say. I like kissing. It is important to me. I want it in my life.” She gave more excuses, and I was already annoyed, so it probably came out in the tone of my voice. I said, “These are excuses.” and went outside. This caused her to have a tantrum for the next hour. About 30 minutes into it, I hear her say, “I can’t have this baby with you, and I’m getting an abortion.” And that pushed my button, and I lost frame and went back to her. I thought, “Maybe I need to do comfort?” But no, she got more pissed off, saying how mean I am to her. So I go outside again and take care of the kids. Later that night, we have sex, and she starts french kissing me, which she never does. I guess somehow that worked.
Conversations:
We were having a platonic conversation. I gave my observation on the topic. She interrupted me, and started talking about a family related topic, like day care or something. She does this often, and it annoys me. So I said, “Okay, whatever.” and went into the kitchen. She tried asking me things, but I STFU’d. Eventually she brought the conversation back to the original topic. Even though I was annoyed, I thought, I need to reward good behavior. So I cheered myself up and joined her in the conversation. It made me realize that she actually knows when she does rude shit. My question is: Should I even have platonic conversations with her? I generally don’t talk to her about non-family things, because she tends to disregard my input. I stopped seeing my wife as someone who is also my friend that I would talk to about things I find interesting. Is this normal?
