Serious Patreon identity crisis.

Like... I don't really know where to start... So I guess I'll try to start at the beginning.

I started this Patreon because I wanted a more dependable, solid income. I was hoping it would be something I could enjoy doing that would allow me to have something akin to a regular monthly income, instead of living from commission to commission like I usually do.

But when I was making it, I was afraid that if I didn't do porn, no one would be interested - which is part of the driving force behind the first project being a remake of Dungeon Bois (though I don't regret redoing it - I'm very happy with how it came out.), and why every project since then has been something adult, or at very least mature.

But lately I haven't been in the mood to draw anything adult - and even when I am, I worry that the majority of my Patrons don't want to see what I most want to draw, given the distinct lack of a response when I pitched the Raisa Vore idea.

I started the Patreon so that I could draw what I wanted to draw - but it feels like I should be beholden to you as Patrons because you all give me money every month. It feels like I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't.

But worse than that, if I *do* draw clean things, I want them to be relevent to

my projects - my game projects to be specific. But because of the fact that I have porn on my Patreon, I'm worried about posting anything that contains artwork or concepts from my games.

So I guess that's a good lead-in to the other issues.

I have so much on my plate right now. Too much. Way too much.

Trying to manage a business, working on 3 separate game projects (albeit only one is currently in-focus), preparing for a convention at the end of the month, doing commissions so that I have money to live off of, and Patreon.

Currently Patreon is being neglected, I haven't been able to draw more than 2 or 3 commissions a week, my Business still isn't up and running properly, none of the 3 games are anywhere near complete, and I'm nowhere near prepared for the convention on the 28th.

So, clearly this is all going according to plan.

I'm not sure what to do. I want to close my Patreon, but I feel like I need to leave it open so I can have some shred of consistency in my funds.

I dunno what to say - I'm completely overloaded, burned out, and I don't know what to do. I need commissions to stay afloat - I have no other source of income until I have a solid product to ship - and even then, judging by market data, because I'm making tabletop RPGs I'm not likely to have a livable profit margin.

The very thing I need to do to stay alive is slowly killing me, and getting a 'normal job' doesn't seem like an acceptable option, because it further closes down my schedule even more, meaning that all of the things I need to do are further pushed away from me.

Bluhf.

I hate being an adult.