Touching Her Good Place

“What do you think it’s like to, ya know… be feeling the doorway?” Eleanor asked. “Jason and Chidi, they seemed all… at peace? I don’t feel at peace. I just feel real bored. That can’t be it, can it? There’s gotta be some kinda… spiritual enlightenment… shirt…”

Tahani reached over and gently pried the tequila away from her well-lubricated friend. “I don’t like to hear you talk like this, Eleanor. I think perhaps you’re just bored.”

“Yeah, but I’m in the Good Place. How needy can I be when I’m bored of the Good Place? I always thought somebody would have to be some kind of sap to get bored of constant shrimp cocktails and ice cream for breakfast and having a bikini body even if I eat an entire bison. But here I am, no shallowness for the finer things in life. If I have depth, shouldn’t I feel better about having depth?”

“Perhaps you’re just stuck in a rut,” Tahani suggested. “Take it from me, meeting Christian Bale can be a wonderful experience, but if you meet him every day, soon you start wondering why he doesn’t get that mole removed from there on the inside of his nose. Doesn’t it bug him?”

“It bugs me and I’m just looking at it. The man was Batman three times and a Terminator once—you’d think he could afford it.”

Tahani clapped her hands together. “I know! Why don’t you help me with some of my work? You’ve never tried that before.”

“In the Bad Place?” Eleanor asked dubiously, even through her stupor.

“We don’t like calling it that anymore,” Tahani chided her. “It’s not about punishing people now, it’s about guiding them out of their problematic natures and into spiritual enlightenment. Who knows more about that than you?”

“You want me to be an Architect?” Eleanor slurred.

“Oh no. God no. No, no, no. You can be more of a… a helper. I’ll set up the scenario and you can walk him through it.”

“Him who?”

Tahani reached into her bag for the hologram. “Well, my current problem child is a Scythian warlord from 300 AD, Muroe of Aghastia. By the standards of the time, he wasn’t so bad—didn’t sew anyone into animals, didn’t kill children or dogs. It’s just he had a real thing for, well, copulation.”

Eleanor studied the hologram Tahani laid out on the table. He was a curious blend of aged experience and youthful vitality—a boy who had grown up fast into a man’s world. His eyes were old and savvy, his face weather-beaten, but he hadn’t lost the hardness of flesh and slenderness of youth, so he reminded Eleanor of all the times she’d trawled the senior prom for dates after graduating. She might’ve only lost her virginity once, but she’d taken plenty more than she’d given up.

Man, had she taken it.

“What’s wrong with that?” Eleanor asked. “We haven’t gone Catholic since the last time I checked, have we?”

“No, Eleanor, no matter how good the aesthetic is. But this focus he had on fornication is really getting in the way of his spiritual progress. He doesn’t want to develop his character or delve into the mysteries of the cosmos—he just wants to—“

“Fork and fork and fork,” Eleanor finished for her. Looking at the hologram’s stats she saw that he was over six feet tall, which really put Eleanor’s own height to shame. His brown hair was longer than most of the haircuts Eleanor had seen trending around the Good Place, while his face was angular, his body slim and muscular. She looked at his crotch, knowing a hologram wouldn’t mind, and saw a promising bulge there.

Then Eleanor gave herself a metaphorical slap. She wasn’t looking for a one night stand. She just wanted to help the guy past his hurdle of only caring about finding his next cum dumpster. It was an interesting challenge and, as Tahani had said, right up her alley.

“I think you came to the right girl,” she told Tahani.

***

Obviously, the Place didn’t really have karma or purgatory or anything like that, but it was a useful way for people of all cultures and eras to understand a little the concept of working off their bad attitudes and Mr. Miyagi-ing themselves into better people. For the real hard customers, they had service industry jobs, but for a Medium Place kinda guy like Muroe, they’d be starting him off with some easy, low-pressure, hands-on work to teach him about humility and industriousness.

“Hi there, Mr. Muroe,” Eleanor said brightly. She was already feeling her oats a little, once more having something to work for, something to do. The activity got her away from the side of herself she wasn’t proud of and more towards the smart, selfless woman she knew she could be. “I take it you’ve already realized how you’re dead and you’ve been told how there are things about yourself you need to work on.”

Muroe said nothing. His silence wasn’t sullen or petulant or even stubborn, but seemed anticipatory. Waiting. It forced Eleanor to choose her words carefully, as though trying to please him by giving him something to respond to.

“Well, my girl Tahani has set up a little scenario we want to run you through. Nothing too crazy. We’re just going to be clearing out a basement and if that goes well, we’ll just move your stuff right along.”

Eleanor led the way down into the basement. Muroe eyed her petite figure as they went down the stairs. She was wearing a cotton dress even shorter than she was—it didn’t hide her lush curves and though she was tiny, she had some shapely legs. It was an exciting body. Small enough for him to easily manhandle, but big enough to really take some punishment.

“Not much of a talker, huh?” Eleanor asked him. “That’s cool. We don’t need people to be extroverts to ascend to a higher plane of existence. In fact, don’t even worry about that. Not important right now. Just focus on the task at hand. There’s a lot of junk down here that has to be moved, the floor has to be swept…”

Muroe nodded, not really listening. He wasn’t interested in whatever payment he might get for cleaning some fucking basement. All the reward he could ask for was this tiny, beautiful blonde he was now alone with. If she wanted him to clean a basement, he’d clean a basement, but only for as long as it took him to seduce her. There was no sense wasting the opportunity that Eleanor had presented him with. Why work hard getting her alone when she had already given him the perfect excuse?

“I think Tahani contributed some of this junk personally,” Eleanor said, bending over to fish something out of a haphazard pile. “Look at this! Baby pictures!”

She was tugging at a photo album, but it was wedged in tightly. And leaning over like she was in her short dress, she unwittingly showed Muroe a glimpse of the panties she was wearing. Muroe’s interest grew. He moved closer.

“I can help,” he said.

“Thanks!” Eleanor said, moving aside. “See, you’re getting it. There’s usually a twist in these things. You have to think about the consequences of your actions and stuff. I’m betting we have to sort out the kinds of things Tahani would appreciate us saving for her and then bin the rest.”

Muroe was hardly interested. He didn’t care about baby pictures, no matter who they were of. He wanted Eleanor as she was right now.

He moved past her, slowly, taking in her perfume and her naturally fragrant skin. He saw her luscious little breasts heaving with how she’d exerted herself, trying to budge the album. And as he leaned in to grab the album, his body brushed against hers.

“It’s tight,” he said, grunting, his thigh rubbing against Eleanor’s. He took his time, pretending the work was harder than it really was. Eleanor didn’t move away from him. He tugged again at the album, got it to come loose, then pretended to stumble as he pulled it free.

“Oh!” he cried, falling back. He grabbed Eleanor around the waist as if to catch himself and they fell down together.

They landed on a naked mattress, Eleanor’s slight weight hitting his broad body. He allowed his arm to ‘accidentally’ cradle her, coming to a rest high up on her warm thighs. He held her firmly there, feeling the heat that seemed to radiate from between her legs.

Eleanor felt a flash of lust so strong that it was dizzying. She’d been lusting after this guy since she’d first laid eyes on him, even having some guilty fantasies in the interval between Tahani proposing she help out and setting up this scenario for the two of them. Now she was on top of him, her heart pounding, their bodies pressed together, his hand settled firmly on her vulnerable thigh.

She knew it was just an awkward accident, but for a moment it felt like they were entwined, making love. Her sex boiled with excitement and she felt her panties moisten. His hand was inches away from her pussy. She couldn’t let him feel what was happening there.

Eleanor rolled off him, dislodging his hand, and laid gasping on the mattress next to him. “That’s enough lying down on the job,” she breathed. “C’mon, Muroe, get up. Back to work.”

Muroe did get up. Rolling off his back, he set his left hand down on the other side of her, used it and his right hand to pick himself up. But he didn’t move after that. Just held himself above her, arranged on all fours, holding Eleanor down with the looming presence of his body.