Style of Play

I’ve built my brand around my style of play - kind and cruel. I’ve often referred to myself as a chameleon dominant (I heard another d-type talk about it on Tiktok and loved it!) This is the evolved (and evolving) version of me that you see today. But what did it look like initially for me?

When I started out four years ago, my target market was cisgendered heterosexual men. That’s it. That’s who I thought would be interested in my services as a Professional Dominant. That was who I worked with, and it had huge sway over my style of play. I had so much trauma from men, that being super sadistic and dark and cruel came oh so easily to me. I had found a space in which I could safely work through all the icky feelings I had about men. I could hurt them consensually in so many different ways without ever being judged, which did wonders for my anger and hurt. It really was as therapeutic for me as it was for them. I dressed a bit more casual, sometimes smart casual, although I usually made sure to do a full face of makeup. This also translated into sessions being less structured than they are today.

Then I started getting more subbies. I started dressing more formal and introduced more structure into sessions. I still played hard and cruel, but my aftercare got more depth to it, more caring about the human in front of me.

Tiktok was the next big catalyst of change. It opened up an international network of submissives and I still only worked with cishet men. Back then, I knew basically nothing about different genders and orientations. Tiktok opened up so many doors. As my platform grew, so did I. Gradually, my clientele changed too. As I started being open about being non-binary, queer, and neurodivergent, more of the same kinds of people started approaching me. I was intimidated when I had the first few sessions with women, I felt like I didn’t know what to do with them! I was, after all, not mad at them. I quickly figured out other playful ways of expressing sadism with them though…

I still kept growing and healing (in proper therapy, not just sessions) and this led to major changes in my style of play. I started finding a lot of caring and kindness in my play, towards everyone. At one point, I struggled with being cruel and sadistic - I think that had more to do with mental health and my ability to be super dominant when I was down in the gutter - but this too changed. I’ve grown to a place of balance between kind and cruel, between casual and formal, to a place of being a fully fledged chameleon dominant.

What does this mean now?

My style of play now changes based on who I’m playing with, what their state of mind is, what they need from a session, what both our kinks and limits are, and what headspace I’m in on that day. There has been so much growth and learning in the past few years and I honestly can’t say that I would’ve been the same person without BDSM in my life.

So, time for your questions:

What is your preferred style of play (sensual, cruel, casual, formal, etc)?

Does it change based on who you’re playing with?

Has it changed over time?