[Public] One-shot for my original

I was supposed to post this earlier, but I forgot. Anyhow, better late than never.

For those who don't know, I'm working on an original cultivation novel for RoyalRoad. However, I'm relatively new to the genre, so I wanted to gather some opinions before releasing it publicly.

The title is "A Mortal's Guide to Demonic Cultivation," and the summary should be pretty self-explanatory.

Anyhow, let me know your thoughts and suggestions below, fanfic and originals have a different writing style in my experience from reading both of them, so I'm trying to get to grips with the latter.

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Chapter 1: Spiritual Roots

The sound of rain droplets ceaselessly pitter-pattering over Huang Shan Mountain persisted, the wind howling as it forced the canopy to swish and sway like a teetering ship on the open ocean. A thick, impenetrable fog started to roll over the mountain range, obscuring the view of most and adding a layer of mystique to the terrain, creating scenery that looked like it belonged in a top-class art gallery.

However, such obscurification hardly sufficed as even a mild inconvenience for the members of the Spider Lily Sect that dwelled on the palisade, the crisp Qi swirling through their eyes allowed them to penetrate the dense smog seamlessly, ensuring that their footing wouldn’t slip over one of the precipice’s many high-altitude cliffs, sending them to tumbling to quite the unseemly death—especially for a member of one of Tian Continent’s most revered Demonic Sects.

Presently, one of the sect’s Outer Elders, the lowest rank amongst the sect’s command, Lai Yuang, an elderly man with a flowing white beard and rigid face, had been assigned to oversee the testing grounds, a place curated for the sole purpose of testing whether someone had Spiritual Roots, a requirement one needed to possess if they wanted to cultivate.

The apparatus dedicated to the task was a large, bronze tablet that stood in the middle of a concrete slab, with one hundred small markers vertically spanning across the tablet’s surface. When someone placed their hand on the tablet, it would light up according to the number of Spiritual Roots they possessed; of course, if they didn’t have any, the tablet would simply not respond in any manner.

There were distinct divisions one could be sorted into, depending on the number of Spiritual Roots they possessed, which were known as Aptitudes, not just throughout the Tian Continent, but the cultivation world as a whole. The more Spiritual Roots you had, the easier it would be for your body to absorb and refine Qi, hence increasing your cultivation potential in comparison to someone with a lower number.

Someone with 0 Spiritual Roots could not cultivate and was destined to forever remain a carp in a world of dragons. The sect would immediately send such individuals to the Janitorial Division and utilize them as nothing more than grunt labor to clean the facilities, reserving them for those who showed promise.

Someone with 1 - 19 Spiritual Roots had a Grade E Aptitude, very little was expected from them, and they’d be lucky even to set foot on the first realm of cultivation, the Body Forging realm. They would be assigned slightly less menial tasks, such as managing the stables of Spirit Beasts, low-level guard duty, and passing messages back and forth. The sect might hand them a cultivation resource or two if they were lucky, but again, they didn’t expect much from them.

Someone with 20 - 39 Spiritual Roots had a Grade D Aptitude. The Spider Lily Sect believed such people were at least capable of becoming Senior Disciples in the sect’s Outer Branch, which required one to reach the seventh stage of Body Forging.

Each realm was split into nine minor ranks; ranks one to three were the “Early Stage” of said rank, ranks four to six were the “Middle Stage,” and ranks seven to nine were the “Late Stage.” Therefore, if one wanted to become a Senior Disciple in the sect’s Outer Branch, they needed to reach the Late Stage of Body Forging at minimum.

The presence of 40 - 59 Spiritual Roots indicated a Grade C Aptitude. The sect expected such people to at least reach the Qi Refining realm, which came after the Body Forging Realm. 

Reaching the Qi Refining Realm was one of the prerequisites for someone in the outer branch to be permitted to undertake the Inner Disciple Examination, making it the prime goal of every Outer Disciple in the sect.

Having 60 - 79 Spiritual Roots meant you had a Grade B Aptitude; the sect would immediately admit someone with one to the Inner Branch, since they were more likely to reach the Foundation Establishment Realm, which most believed to designate one as a “true cultivator.” Anything below the realm was viewed as merely dipping your toes into cultivation, not embracing it fully.

If you were exceptional enough during your time in the Inner Branch, there was a high probability of you becoming the personal disciple of an Inner Elder, and anyone with half a brain on them could figure out just how beneficial it was to receive access to the personal tutelage and resources of an elder.

80 - 99 Spiritual Roots was the mark of true genius, a Grade A Aptitude! Not only would you be allowed immediate entry into the Inner Branch, you’d be under the constant watch of Core Elders looking to take on a direct disciple. Grade A’s were considered to have the potential to become Core Formation Cultivators, a true pillar of the sect, second only to the Vice Sect Leader and Sect Leader.

There was also a microscopic, almost infinitesimal chance that someone might have more than 99 Spiritual Roots if they had an exceptional enough circumstance, such as having an Extreme Physique. However, such matters wouldn’t be handled by those overseeing the testing grounds. Instead, they’d be sent directly to the Central Palace, the Sect Leader’s residence.

The only equal treatment between all Aptitudes in the Spider Lily Sect, was that you weren’t allowed to leave. Whether you were one of the few people who had signed up to join a Demonic Sect voluntarily, or one of the many that had been kidnapped from various parts of the Tian Continent to be conscripted, the sect would always have a post for you, regardless of whether you wanted it or not.

“Elder Lai,” a senior disciple carefully approached him, cupping their hands together and bowing courteously. “All entrants have been accounted for, we’re ready to begin the testing phase.”

“Good,” Lai Yuang stroked his beard, looking behind him and facing the gathering of elders that had come to scope out the fresh blood, making sure to display a certain degree of reverence, some of the spectators were Inner Elders after all.

They all met his gaze with a subtle nod, indicating that they were ready for him to begin.

One by one, the disciples under Lai Yuang’s command began to lead the large amassment of children, ranging in age from ten to fifteen, up to the tablet to test their Spiritual Roots.

“15 Spiritual Roots! Grade E Aptitude! Drudge Labour Division!” 

“28 Spiritual Roots! Grade D Aptitude! Outer Branch!”

“No Aptitude! Janitorial Division!”

“42 Spiritual Roots! Grade C Aptitude! Outer Branch!” 

“49 Spiritual Roots! Grade C Aptitude! Outer Bra—” 

The senior disciple responsible for calling out the results paused, noticing the color of the lit-up markers on the tablet start to change from its usual glowing white to a bright, fiery red.

“Fire Attribute!” 

Occasionally, people with Spiritual Roots attuned to specific attributes, such as fire, water, wind, earth, and a myriad of different elements, would appear. It wouldn’t necessarily increase their cultivation talent. However, it would make them suitable for more advanced cultivation techniques that usually belong to different specialties, making them a point of interest for elders looking to take on a disciple for a more specific purpose.

Unfortunately for the entrant, none of the spectating elders appeared to have any need for a disciple with the Fire attribute, and the testing proceeded as planned.

“No Aptitude! Janitorial Division!”

“62 Spiritual Roots! Grade B Aptitude! Inner Branch!” 

Murmurs began to spread among some of the observing inner elders, each taking note of the entrant’s appearance but not making a move to recruit them. There were plenty of inner disciples in the sect, there was no reason to personally tutor one unless they managed to make themself stand out amongst the rest.

Moreover, hundreds of entrants were still waiting to be tested. The elders had plenty of time to sit back and get a good idea of what this term’s crop would uncover for them.

…

Transmigration, who would’ve thought? Just a few moments ago, I was minding my own business, simply making a grocery run to stock up on a concerning amount of sodium and caffeine in the form of instant ramen and energy drinks—the average college student’s bread and butter for sustenance.

But in the literal blink of an eye, I’m now here, sitting on a large slab of concrete alongside a plethora of other children, in the body of a twelve-year-old farmer named Han Fan. Although, I probably shouldn’t refer to myself in third person anymore, now that I’m trapped here. I don’t know who or what brought me here, nor why they or it did so, but I don’t see much use in deliberating the matter since I don’t have any clues to follow in the first place.

Based on the terms that I can hear being thrown around, and all the information stored in Han Fan’s—I mean, stored in my head, I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on. 

I’ve been thrust into an Xianxia novel! Well, not a literal novel since I don’t recognize the Spider Lily Sect from any of the books I’ve read, but I can say with complete certainty I’ve been thrown into the cultivation world.

I don’t seem to have a system with me, or any of the more traditional golden fingers like an immortal grandpa in a ring, so that sucks. However, I’m not all that miffed about being transmigrated out of the blue. Hell, maybe that’s the reason it happened to me of all people.

I didn’t have much going for me on Earth. I had foolishly decided to pursue a degree in Philosophy of all things, and realized that I wasn’t going to have a solid career prospect waiting for me in the future, a tad bit later than I should’ve. 

At the rate I was going, all that was waiting for me in the future was crippling student debt. If I were to look at this transmigration as optimisitcally as possible, I’ve been bailed out of that future.

However, if I were to be more pragmatic, then this life could be much worse than my last.

First of all, I’ve found myself in the clutches of a demonic sect! Which could seriously end up badly for me, especially if my Aptitude ends up lacking, after all, there’s no guarantee that I’m going to have a good amount of Spiritual Roots, if any at all.

Furthermore, the knowledge I’ve obtained from reading Xianxia novels back on Earth might not be as handy as I hoped. Just by looking around me, I can already tell that something's off. 

For starters, not everyone around me is human; I can see some people with pointed ears, antlers on their heads, serpentine lower halves, tails protruding from their backs, and the list goes on. 

According to my memories, these people are called “beastfolk”, and they’re extremely common in the Tian Continent. As a matter of fact, I think only a quarter of the people here, myself included, are human. Since my memories come from a peasant background, all I know about them is that they’re usually more physically capable than humans, and have special abilities that we don’t. Notwithstanding, I’m willing to bet they’re capable of a lot more than that once they start cultivating.

Sure, Xianxia novels sometimes have a “demi-human” adjacent, but they’re typically the minority. As far as I’m concerned, they’re the dominant population here, and I doubt the relation between them and humans is all that amiable, especially in a demonic sect of all places. 

I suppose I’ll just have to rely on my own know-how and luck to survive here; hopefully, my status as a transmigator will earn me a little bit of mercy from the world. 

I probably shouldn’t jynx it though.

“You,” one of the disciples approached me, causing me to only just realize that I had gotten too absorbed in my inner thoughts to notice that the person beside me had already been called up. “Move,” he ordered plainly.

Well, here’s the moment of truth.

…

With a justifiable amount of apprehension, Han Fan followed the senior disciple as he led him towards the testing tablet, the scrutiny of the observing elders crashing down on his shoulders as if anvils had been placed on them.

“Place your palm on the print,” the senior disciple instructed him, and Han Fan didn’t hesitate to follow his command.

Immediately, he could feel some kind of intrusive link being formed between him and the bronze structure, as if a bleak wisp of energy had just invaded his body through the pores of his skin, peering into the very depths of his core.

One by one, the markers attached to the tablet started to glow a bright white, causing him to heave a sigh of deep relief. He was, in fact, born with Spiritual Roots; the only question was, how many? If he ended up with a Grade E Aptitude, he could still be sent to the Drudge Labour Division. He wasn’t sure what that exactly entailed, but if it was under a demonic sect, he doubted it was anything remotely pleasant.

“Phew,” Han Fan muttered under his breath as he watched the markers continue to ignite. Fortunately for him, the number had exceeded 19, which meant he had at least had a Grade D Aptitude. The worst that could happen to him was being sent to the outer branch; at least there was a chance for him to enter the Inner Branch from there.

And after a few seconds passed, the tablet's reaction came to a stop.

“52 Spiritual Roots! Grade C Aptitude! Outer Branch!” The senior disciple called out, another disciple approaching Han Fan, presumably to take him away.

But before they could do so, another change happened.

The color of the markers began to change, shifting from a plain white to a distinct light brown.

“Wood Attribute!” The disciple looked at Han Fan with an evident tinge of envy, probably not possessing an attribute himself. Furthermore, wood was one of the rarer ones since it wasn’t among the four basic attributes that were more commonly awakened.

“Hold on,” and at long last, one of the spectating elders decided to make a move. 

She was a middle-aged woman with long, flowing rose-colored hair, pale white skin, eerie pitch-black sclera coupled with blood-red irises, and bright-red lips, all of which gave her a considerably intimidating demeanor, especially to a mere mortal like Han Fan.

Two small horns were protruding out of her forehead, and the proportions of her body were a little too perfect for a human to attain, especially taking her sizable bust into account, which some of the male elders were shamelessly leering at. 

She was a Demon, a race completely separate from beastfolk, and one that was highly revered in the Spider Lily Sect thanks to the Li Clan, which consisted entirely of Demons, and had a Late Core Formation Cultivator as their Patriarch.

“Esteemed Elder!” The senior disciple didn’t hesitate to bow upon her arrival, Han Fan quickly followed suit to make sure nothing unfortunate happened to him on his first day here. 

Her name was Li Hong, an outer elder belonging to Sanguine Peak, the sect’s Alchemy Division.

She ignored the disciple, much to his dismay, and looked directly at Han Fan, cupping him by the chin and raising his face so he was forced to make eye contact with her ominous pupils. 

“Name?” 

“Han Fan, esteemed eld—” 

“I didn’t ask for honorifics, I asked for your name, you needn’t answer anything beyond what I want answered.” She admonished him coldly, her words causing a shiver to crawl down his spine. “Fortunately for you, I’m in need of a labourer with the Wood Attribute, so from now on you’ll be my unofficial disciple until you can prove you’re worthy of anything more.” 

Clearly, this wasn’t a negotiation.

Without giving him a chance to process his luck, Li Hong effortlessly picked Han Fan up with one hand and slung him over her shoulder, calling out a Flying Sword and dashing elsewhere.

“Direct as always,” Lai Yuang sighed, watching as Li Hong flew away. “I can’t find it in me to blame her though, with the amount of pressure she’s facing from the Li Clan to become an Inner Elder, I’d be in a rush too if I were in her position.” He pressed his lips together, glancing at the boy she had taken with her. “Good luck, little one. You’ll need it.”