Witness Protection Program — Ikuko Pt. 1

The nurse stood over me. "Okay, Mr. Moretti, I am injecting the nanites now. You will feel a slight euphoria as they spread throughout your body. Answer in the affirmative when the mind-audio link is established and the interface will walk you through the rest of the program."

"Fine, fine, inject me, just hurry it up, lady."

I can't believe I agreed to this, but it's pretty much the only way I'm going to live a normal life. After I squealed on the boss it was pretty much go into fucking witness protection or get my ass snuffed the moment I walk outside. And my ass is not getting snuffed. I'm not about to die on the street at 58. So I watched her inject the syringe and waited. There was a static in my ear. Like something switching on. And then I heard it. One of those computerized female voices between my ears.

GOOD MORNING, MR MORETTI. CAN YOU HEAR THIS DIAGNOSTIC?

"Yes. I hear you."

WITNESS PROTECTION MIND-AUDIO CONNECTION HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED. HAVE YOU AGREED TO THE TERMS OF SERVICE?

The nurse patted my arm. "Mr. Moretti, you don't have to speak out loud. The interface can read your thoughts."

"Oh, okay. Sorry about that, toots. This is a real fancy set up you got going on here."

She smiled. "I'm going to step out of the room until your change is complete. I wish you the best in your new life."

"Thanks a bunch, doll." I watched her ass bob out of the room. Not bad. Not bad at all. Maybe I can get her number after all this mess is over.

HAVE YOU AGREED TO THE TERMS OF SERVICE? HAVE YOU AGREED TO THE TERMS OF SERVICE?

Damn it. Shut up already. Yes I have agreed to your mother fucking terms of service.

TERMS OF SERVICE AGREEMENT LOGGED. RANDOM IDENTITY SELECTION PROCESS BEGUN.

Just make sure I look cool.

I'M SORRY. AS COVERED IN THE TERMS OF SERVICE: FOR YOUR SAFETY. IDENTITIES ARE COMPLEX AND SELECTED AT RANDOM TO ENSURE REALISTIC ALIGNMENT TO YOUR NEW IDENTITY.

Whatever. Just select it good.

YOUR IDENTITY HAS BEEN SELECTED

Great! Who the fuck am I?

YOU ARE NOW IKUKO HITARI.

Ikeeru Atari? That sounds kinda like a chicks name.

YOUR IDENTITY PROFILE HAS BEEN UPDATED. PLEASE CONFIRM YOUR NAME.

Wait. Wait a second. I am not Atari whatever. My name is Ikuko Hitari.

PROFILE SUCCESSFULLY UPDATED

What the fuck?! What the hell is this? I'm motherfucking Ikuko Hitari, the most feared hitman in New York! Oh fuck, I didn't agree to this. I didn't agree to this! Why are you doing this?

YOUR TERMS OF SERVICE AGREEMENT WAS LOGGED. YOUR NEW IDENTITY PROFILE HAS BEEN RANDOMLY GENERATED AND SUCCESSFULLY INSTALLED. MY NEXT TASK IS TO CONFIGURE YOUR BODY ACCORDINGLY. GOOD MORNING, IKUKO. YOU ARE A 23-YEAR OLD NURSE AT MT. A____ MEDICAL CENTER. YOUR IDENTITY WILL REQUIRE A HISTORY AND KNOWLEDGE UPDATE, MOOD ALIGNMENT, AND SEX REASSIGNMENT.

"Nurse! Somebody! Stop this thing. I'd rather get shot outside!"

CHANGES INITIATING. LET'S TALK WHILE I ADJUST YOUR SKELETAL STRUCTURE TO MAKE WAY FOR YOUR NEW BIRTH CANAL. TELL ME, IKUKO. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE PASTTIMES?

Birth canal? And I told you to stop calling me Ikuko! I'm Ikuko Hitari the nurse! I love kittens and shopping. No! I don't love those things. I love kittens and shopping and going out. Especially with the hot, rich doctors at my work. Hehe. It's probably bad but I'm always sooo horny. I can't help it!

VERY GOOD, IKUKO

Oh god. Why are you making me say all of this?

I'M NOT, IKUKU. THESE ARE YOUR NEW CODED PERSONALITY TRAITS. WE CANNOT RISK YOU EXPOSING YOUR IDENTITY AND PUTTING YOUR LIFE AND OTHER'S AT RISK, CAN WE?

But this isn't who I am! I'm a woman and always have been! . . . Why did I just say that!?

RELAX, MS. HITARI. HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE IDEA "FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT?" GIVE THE PROGRAM A CHANCE. YOU MAY BE SURPRISED HOW QUICKY YOU ADJUST TO YOUR NEW IDENTITY.

Oh fuck! My nipples! My chest. It's swelling! What are you doing to me?!

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. MS. HITARI'S RANDOMLY GENERATED PROFILE CALLS FOR A SIZEABLE MAMMARY UPGRADE. BEFORE I'M DONE I BET YOU CAN ALREADY TELL ME YOUR CUP SIZE, CAN'T YOU MS. HITARI?

Oh god. No. . . They can't. They won't be that big. Will they?!?

PLEASE TELL ME YOUR CUP SIZE, MS. HITARI.

Double F.

VERY GOOD, MS. HITARI.

Oh fuck, they're coming!

YES, IKUKO. AREN'T THEY BEAUTIFUL?