Gate 40

How does a strange, massive chariot of metal fly?

That was what Restia and Anilof had asked themselves nervously when the Iron Gods had shown them the strange thing.

Perhaps they misunderstood, Resttia proposed. Perhaps the meaning was "fly" as in flying like the wind, able to move very fast over the land? Anilof had almost believed that for a moment, but they had felt the metal thing rumble and growl like a beast, and they could feel the entire thing shifting!

The Iron Gods seemed entirely unfazed by it for the most part, as if this were normal. Yet there was an amused and interested look on the Apostle of Emroy, Rory, as she tapped the bottom of her weapon on the floor, which sounded distinctly hollow.

"Do not put a hole in it, or I'm throwing that axe out," The Spear Lord, Church, warned sternly to the Apostle.  

Rory just smiled wider at the warning.

Restia and Anilof shared a look as the same question ran through their heads. If these beings of Iron were indeed Gods of some sort, how likely were they to fight with an apostle? Did they consider Lady Rory insolent or a peer? And if they weren't gods, that simply raised more questions.

There was a purple one, a color normally associated with royalty to their understanding, and he was staring at them. They were uneasy as he turned to say something to the Spear Lord.

His gaze fell on them. "Do you feel ill?" 

The question caught them off guard. "I...I do not, Spear Lord," Restia answered, glancing at her fellow bunnywarrior, who shook her head.

"Some get sick while riding these. If you have to vomit, do it in the corner," he instructed plainly, gesturing to the "door" they had entered through, which had closed after they took off.

"Thank you, Spear Lord," Anilof said carefully, uncertain but glad it was of simple concern rather than an offense they had caused.

Restia, however, paled. Was that advice or a threat? If they dared to sully this vessel, would they hurl them out from the heights, to die or suffer where they landed?

She tried not to think about that, or she might end up hurling after all.

"So, how bad were you losing before you came here?" The Spear Lord asked expectantly.

Anilof hummed as she noticed that. Only the orb and the spear lord spoke to them so far. If these were gods, then the Spear God was surely a god of Wisdom or even Languages, to know this tongue while his fellows did not.

Restia gathered herself to answer. She would normally not enjoy how his question sounded like an assumption of their weakness, but there was no point in denying the truth. "Badly, Spear Lord. There were talks of planning for a final stand that would have to be made, at the village itself, if necessary. If not for the arrival of the Gate's opening....they might have crushed us already." 

There was only silence at that as the Spear Lord sat there, his attention pulled to the talking of his fellow Iron Gods.

Restia looked to the black chest that the Spear Lord's look-a-likes had brought into the craft. She still had no idea what those were. Priests, perhaps? But she was more curious as to what was in this chest. But it was a curiosity of dread and worry. Might it be a weapon? Some minion or terrible beast to be set loose? Something they couldn't even imagine? She didn't know, but the other Iron Gods were looking at it strangely. That only filled her with more uneasiness, for surely they knew its contents.

"So, are you going to tell us what is in the box?" Tucker asked curiously, Junior sitting on one leg.

"I'm not telling any of you, it's a surprise," Church retorted with a hint of smugness.

"Come on, Church, it's not that big of a deal," Doc said diplomatically.

"Wait, you know?" Simmons asked curiously.

"Doc, so help me God, if you tell them? I WILL make your rank into a negative no-class junior," Church warned accusingly at the medic.

Doc quickly held up his hands in surrender. "Wow, wow, okay! I don't know if you can do that, and I have no intention of finding out!"

"Are we really having an argument over 'what's in the box' right now?" Washington asked with a deadpan tone.

"You'll get used to it, Mate!" Wyoming said with a chuckle. "Where'd York run off to anyway, the old bean?"  

"He's up front with Grif and Andy. Delta is helping make sure we're on the right path from the directions the bunnies gave us," Church answered, nodding to the door to the cockpit. "They'll probably need one of them to go up and make sure we're going the right way."

"....There's a bomb in the cockpit. That is all I heard just now," Wash said in resigned dread.

"Hey, Sarge?" Simmons spoke up. "You okay? You've been kind of quiet."

"Oh, it's nothing," Sarge said, despite sounding distracted. "I just feel like we're forgetting something. Can't be the ammo and guns, I made sure of that myself this time! And we were trying to leave Grif's mutated sponge-spawn of a sister."

"....Hey, what happened to Donut?" Bell asked curiously.

Everyone on the Red team suddenly stiffened.

Meanwhile

"Oh, come on! I can't believe they left me behind!" Donut complained, crossing his arms with a huff as he stood on the empty landing pad with his arms crossed. "Zim, can you believe it?! I should totally stop sharing my lotion with them after this."

"Yes, yes, truly unbelievable," Zimmerman said, not really listening as he looked through information on a digital pad. 

Donut hummed before snapping his fingers. "Actually, this gives me a chance to redecorate without anyone getting in the way!" he said in celebration, chuckling in a manner that didn't sound anything like a giggle, and he would stick to that story.

Zimmerman looked up at that rather creepy sound. "Lopez might have something to say about that."

"Oh, he's just repairing the base! I'll stay out of his way and just worry about the parts that don't need fixing. And I can finally do some work on Red Base. Oh, oh, and even Blue Base!" Donut said eagerly, clapping his hands together in anticipation. "Besides, we also have to plan a welcome back party for Tex! You know, after they let her out of the digital slammer."

"Church....might take issue with that," Zimmerman said carefully.

"I mean, maybe? But Tex is our friend, too. When she's not nearly killing us with sticky grenades to the head," Donut said casually.

"...Wait, you're serious?" Zimmarman asked in surprise. "Did I gloss over that part of the report? You did mention this to our doctor, right?"

"Yeah, he just said something along the lines of 'Of course that happened,' I think," Donut said with a shrug.

"And you're....on good terms with Tex, despite that?" Zimmerman asked skeptically.

"I got her back! I blew her up in the tank! So, we're square. Even if I'm still a little annoyed, I got stuck with this light-red armor, but it's grown on me. Really comfy," Donut said. 

"Uh-huh," Zimmerman acknowledged. He could try to point out that Tex, as an AI, had a lot less to lose from that, but he decided it might be better for his own sanity to leave it be.  

"Hey, before I run off? I had a question?" Donut asked, getting silence from the ODST soldier. "All of us simtropers were actually just those that didn't make the cut for the army, right?"

"But still had some interesting or exceptional skills," Zimmerman answered. "Yours was long-range accuracy with throwing weapons, like grenades."

"Yeah, but....why didn't I make the cut?" Donut asked curiously.

"Oh. Hm, honestly, I was less interested in those parts, but I think I remember it," Zimmerman replied, surprised by the question. "I might be wrong, but poor decision-making under pressure?"

"...." Donut looked up in thought as he remembered his training days. "I mean, that's not how I would have worded it, but I see their point. It probably wasn't a good idea to think it was a trick test like in Men in Black."

Zimmerman stared. He was tempted to ask, but he resisted the urge for the sake of his sanity. "Well, I have to go check on some things. You do whatever you're plotting."

"Hey, I don't plot! Omega plots. I just make plans with a very fashionable vision!" Donut countered, albeit playfully.  

Meanwhile

Church laughed uproariously. "Ohh, fucking fuckcakes, I was wondering when you red shits would notice you were down a man!"

"I mean, by a certain definition of man," Tucker said playfully.

"Well, jokes on you, Blue boy!" Sarge retorted to Church. "You're down a soldier, too!"

"Okay, we're REALLY stretching definitions if we're counting Sister," Simmons remarked. 

"Knock knock," Wyoming said smugly.

"Whose there?" Doc asked with a head tilt.

"Not her, that's who," Wyoming said with a laugh as he reclined in his seat.

".....Church! We forgot Admiral Butterscotch!" Caboose said suddenly, his voice filled with despair.

"Way to stay on top of things, Caboose," Church said with a headshake.

"Hey, Church!" Andy yelled from the front. "Ya mind sending one of those rabbits up here! We need to check to see if we're going the right way!"

"Ahh, there he is," Rory said as she suddenly stood up and walked to the cockpit, leaving her axe lying against her seat.   

"Uhh, should we...stop her?" Bell asked slowly.

"Not unless she makes Grif crash somehow," Church answered.

Rory inhaled and grinned as she saw out the front of the contraption. They truly were flying, like on the back of a dragon! No, it was like they were a dragon themselves now, controlling it from within.

"Uhh, not the one we wanted, but you might work," York said in surprise. 

Grif looked at the bomb between the pilot seats. "Hey, Andy, does she know- THE FUCK!?"

"HOLY SHIT!" Wash exclaimed as the ship suddenly lurched.

The bunnygirls screamed in alarm, looking around rapidly for enemies or a means to escape.

"YAY! Rollercoaster!" Caboose cheered with his arms raised. "Wait, I do not want to barf!" 

The black box skidded over and nearly caught Wymoning's legs, who raised them just in time. "Bugger me in the right ass, that was close!"

"We're going to die!" Doc called out in panic..

"Dammit, do I have to hijack this thing!?" Church cursed as he moved the cockpit.

"Yes, Blue! Go! That way, you and Grif will die before us!" Sarge called out.

"By a millisecond, sir!?" Simmons pointed out in disbelief.

The pelican was suddenly righted and flying correctly, just as Church made it to the cockpit. "Alright, what the actual fuck!?" Church demanded as he glared inside.

York let out a breath of relief, having taken over controls. The reason was obvious, as a smiling Rory was now sitting on Grif's lap, who was holding his arm up in alarm.

"Alpha, we can explain," Delta said, appearing on York's shoulder.

"What do you mean, explain? This crazy shrimp decided she wanted to try riding this ship from the front," Andy said before chuckling. "Apparently, she thought Girf made for a good seat."

"I can see that fuckong fine myself, I don't need a status report you too," Church said with a deadpan.

"Can you tell her to get off now?" Grif asked uneasily. "I really don't like the way she's smiling. Like a damn cat that's going to spill milk on my computer."

Rory merely giggled.

"Hey, I don't know, Grif, she looks like she's making herself nice and comfy," Andy said teasingly.

"Screw! You!" Grif cursed.

Church sighed before addressing Rory. "You, Apostle. What in Hell are you doing?"

"Apologies, Spear Lord, I just wanted to see if the so-called Beast Rider is as great at his craft as claimed," Rory said with a mirthful twinkle in her eye. "So far, he has not impressed."

"Do I want to know what she's saying?" Griff asked with concern and annoyance.

"You really don't," Church answered honestly. He considered his options before deciding to take pity on Grif and spoke to Rory. "Get back here with the rest of us, for I'm tossing your axe out."

Rory practically pouted but nonetheless climbed off of Griff, who sighed in relief. "Please never mention that to the others," Griff requested of York.

"We're not the ones you have to worry about," York reminded, tapping Andy on the shell.

The bomb cackled to himself while Griff glared at him.

Rory and Church walked back to the belly of the pelican, everyone watching with silent interest as Rory sat down in a huff while crossing her legs.

"So, umm, what happened?" Washington asked awkwardly.

"What else? She nearly made Griff crash," Church said before turning to the bunnywomen, who looked like they were barely calmed down from the scare. "You two."

They sat straight with pale expressions. "Y-yes, Spear Lord?" Restia asked quickly.

"They need one of you up front to make sure we're on the right path," Church ordered. 

"I'll go," Anilof said as she stood up. "I think standing might help."

"I could have done that myself," Rory informed evenly to Church.

"And you would have, if you hadn't nearly made us crash," Church retorted flatly.

"And, m, Apostle Rory?" Restia spoke up with a careful smile. "You haven't been to our tribe since my grandmother's time. The main tribe has moved from that village."

"Oh? Has it?" Rory asked, only vaguely interested. "I suppose it has been almost a century since I paid that region a visit."

Church started. He had translated that, right? Perhaps that demigod talk wasn't just bullshit. Then again, Eves were a thing, so maybe she just had a very long lifespan?

Meanwhile, Anilof awkwardly arrived in the cockpit and nearly fell backwards as her jaw opened in awe. They were flying! And so fast, the trees were practically racing beneath them! How could she feel no wind? Was some sort of divine power blocking it from entering?

"Hey, bunny warrior!"

Her head snapped down, seeing two Iron Gods looking at her, along with the Orb of Wisdom and.....a small, green spirit that looked like the Iron Gods did?

"Can you tell if we're making the right way to your home?" Andy asked pointedly. 

Anilof nodded mutely before slowly leaning forward between the two seats. She had so many questions, and she was so confused, but that wasn't important right now. She just looked around, trying to deduce where they were.

She frowned, because she did recognize the area, but.... "That can't be. We've already traveled several days' worth of distance?"

"Yes, yes, our ships are very fast," Andy said impatiently. "Are we going the right damn way or not?"

Anilof swallowed thickly. "Y-yes, we just need to turn a bit further south."

"Hey, Munchies! Tip the nose down some, she says we're heading a bit too north," Andy informed.

"Got it," Grif said, glad to finally have some confirmation. 

"Given the information and conversion rate, we should be able to reach the destination in two hours," Delta informed. "Also, I believe my presence is causing stress for the lagomorphic humanoid." 

"D, she thinks we're all gods or something. She is probably worried you're some kind of spirit that can curse here," York pointed out.

"Given the existence of an energy most have deemed as 'magic' in this world, I am unable to fully dismiss the existence of such entities in this world that may warrant such designations," Delta remarked. "I find that fact distressing for my processors."

"Hey, maybe we'll get lucky and meet a God of Tits and Wine," Griff joked.

"You're a Game of Thrones fan?" York asked in surprise.

"Didn't take you for the fantasy type, Griff," Andy remarked.

"Oh, I'm fucking not. I don't know shit about that show's plot or lore. I'm just a fan of Tyrion's lines. That dwarf was a damn mood," Griff explained.

Meanwhile, Church was having his own processors stressed.

"Wait, so her name is Rory Mercury? Mercury, like the planet?" Simmons asked dubiously.

"Yeah, apparently," Church said in annoyance. "Why the fuck did I agree to playing translator?"

"Dude, you didn't agree to anything, you just did it," Tucker pointed out in amusement.

"Huh. Between that and the Roman-ish soldiers, I'm beginning to think that the Gate opened up on Earth at least once," Bell commented.

"Yeah, I was thinking that too," Church said before turning to Rory.

"It is getting rather tiring for both of us, having you translate for me," Rory mused. "I'll have to have your Orb of Wisdom teach me your language."

Church wasn't sure if that would be a good thing or a bad thing. "What do you know about the Gate?" 

"Hmm, I see you know little of it still," Rory mused idly. "It is as it says. It is a Gate, one that opens and closes, each time leading to a random."

"Random, or random to you?" Church questioned. "Who or what opens it?

"The whims of a god, usually," Rory remarked. "Though, which god is rarely known."

"Anything good, or are you just gossiping with her?" Washington asked, awkwardly watching the exchange. 

"Looks like the Gate opened at random. Or any of the gods do it at random, if they're real," Church explained. 

"Huh. So, they're one point less scummy and one more opportunistic than we thought," Simmons mused.

"I'm betting at random," Tucker commented. "That just sounds like our luck; all the worlds in the universe and that thing opens on our shithole?"

"I unfortunately have to side with the Blue Devil," Sarge said in resignation. "That is only one God, and it sure ain't hers."     

"Sarge, no bible thumbing or conversion or whatever," Church instructed. "I'm not getting us into a holy war."

"I forget, but didn't the aliens consider their fight with us a holy war?" Doc asked out loud.

"Not really relevant here, chap," Wyoming pointed out.

"I'm just trying to contribute!" Doc defended.

Rory watched the animated conversation with mixed feelings. These Metal "Gods" were interesting, but she felt like she was missing out on something amusing without their Orb to tell her the gist of their strange conversations.

She just had to hope the Orb was a good teacher.