☾YMBERLIGHT - In the forest of monsters

It's been a while since the last time I wrote something in English. I didn't even have this piece proofread, because  I just wanted to share it with you. (Let me know if you find any mistakes, I'll fix them!)

It's a little trip inside Jack's head, at the beginning of chapter 3. Cryptic on purpose, because I meant it to be something similar to a stream of consciousness, where Jack gives no explanation and just thinks whatever he needs to think. If you want to ask questions at the end of the reading, be my guest.

See you soon with some new FurryTails' content!

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In a sense, he could sort of understand Cynthia’s mind; he had always been able to. But then, admitting that fact, putting into actual practice his supposed knowledge of her ways… both were things Jack had absolutely no intention to do.

And yet, there he was, trying to get whatever ugly truth Cynthia was harboring out of her mouth, like a perfect cretin. The memory of that foolish endeavor still lingered in his mind, impeding any attempt to rest.

Jack closed his eyes shut and buried his face in the pillow, but to no avail except bringing himself closer to death by asphyxiation. Which, in all fairness, wasn’t exactly a dismal prospect at that point of his life.

The more he tried to make sense of his own actions, the more Jack found inexplicable contradictions not only in his behavior, but also in Cynthia’s. ‘She refused… to tell me. She said I wasn’t ready. She pointed at my chest with that sharp, clawed finger of hers, and said I wasn’t ready. And I did nothing to prove her wrong.’

As he sleeplessly tossed and turned in bed, his head would fill with the most intrusive thoughts of what the actual meaning of those words was. But because he could, in fact, sort of understand Cynthia, because he had, at some point, acquired that forbidden knowledge of her, Jack had a very much clear suspect of the terrifying subject the vixen was keeping in store for him.

In that forest of monsters that his mind was, there was one in particular he couldn’t lay his eyes on, no matter how hard he tried. He would wander through the high trees, pretending not to see the abomination standing tall and proud at the perfect center of the nightmare.

But Cynthia wanted him to see it. She wanted that, and yet… she was aware that Jack couldn’t bear the view. So, she was willing to wait. ‘But the question is: am I willing to wait, too? Do I want to be strong enough to take the hit?’ The answer was, of course, no. He was many things, and very few individuals would guess that coward was one of them. Jack himself tended to forget it, because of the constant displays of bravery (recklessness?) his job required him, and because it was more convenient that way.

‘But, in the end, that’s what I am: a coward. And she knows too well. She always had.’ Taking a bullet or two wasn’t a problem, if it meant dodging a whole-ass torpedo filled with all his past traumas and fears. ‘But maybe… even a coward has to face the consequences of their actions, at some point.’

Had the moment finally come? He dared not to find out.