[Script Peek!] How? How did you summon me?! – [F4A] [SFW] [Annoyed demon] [Helping you with finals] [Wholesome]

I think it's no surprise that I get audio inspiration from the various memes I see shared around Discord and Twitter. This particular one has been saved in my gallery for the longest time and after sharing it to a friend recently, he came up with a few lines of dialogue that jumpstarted more ideas, and now here we are! I hope you enjoy this little peek into how I write my scripts!

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[[ Ambience: Room tone, nighttime, crickets, wind ]]

[Listener is working late; typing SFX can be heard]

[Frantic typing SFX as Listener makes a mistake; then ethereal, magical SFX, with small-scale thunder and lightning, as I get summoned]

    (booming voice) How?? How were you able to summon me??

    (normal voice) What? Slow down-- Stop yelling, oh my go--

     Shut uppp, human. Eugh, your wailing is like sandpaper to my brain.

     What in the hell were you even doing?

     Is that... MS Word?

     You were moving an image, and-- Ohmygods, what happened?? [frantic mouse clicks] Why did everything shift?

     Undo it! Put it back! Oh, hell.

     Stop crying, human!

     No, I'm not gonna eat your soul! Eughhh.

     I'm tired. Have you been watching the news? My kind have been fucking your people's days up for the past few centuries. This is the last thing I need to be doing right now.

     What? I'm not gonna kill you! Don't you have exams? Do you really want to be dragged down to the Underworld before you've even taken your finals?

     Actually, you know what, don't answer that-- Just!! (annoyed groan)

     I was laying on a hammock on top of the Sphinx, sipping sangrias before your ass conjured me in here. How. Did. You. Do it?

     NO, the MS Word didn't do it! You--

     Wait, move your chair.

     [wheels scrape across the floor] Oh, well, *that* explains it. (laughs)

     Your dorm room is built on cursed ground.

     Nah. Nah, not the whole dorm. Just your room. (louder laugh) Just your luck, huh, cutie?

     Well, most likely that someone died violently on this spot centuries ago and there's traces of an old magic floating around. 

     Oh, you can't see the marks on the floor, but I can. That, and your STRESS actually added to the magic mix and THAT'S what summoned me here. Ugghhhhh.

     (muttering) How long does this spell last, like.. When do I get to get out--?

     What now?

     What-- Why are you crying??

     What is that infernal paper you're working on anyway?

     Gods, let me take a fucking look.

     [mouse clicks; mutters] Are you kidding me? You're almost done! Just keep clacking away and continue what you're doing before I got here!

     Oh, *I'm* stressing *you* out? Well, I can't leave, okay? You've got me trapped in here for a few more hours at least.

      You're not gonna get it done because you keep complaining and crying.

      Ughh fine. Let me fucking do it.

     I'll do it, now move!

     Uhh, excuse me, I'm fucking older than the dude you're writing about, okay? By about seven thousand years. I'm pretty sure I collected his soul-- Oh yup, this guy has lots of fans down there.

     I said I'll finish it, oh my gods. Go lay down in bed and shut it. [magic SFX as Listener gets pulled to bed; typing SFX as I start working]

     (muttering) Humans always taking up challenges they can't finish and giving themselves more work than they can manage, and then they buckle under the pressure and cry instead of resting and trying tomorrow to find a way to make the shit work...

     Are you still sniffling over there? Ugghhh.

     Here, drink a fuckin' warm cocoa. [magic SFX as cocoa appears]

     I don't care what you do or don't like. Now drink that and stay bundled up over there and stop talking.

     (muttering) Humans are weak and frail and aren't made to work and work and work. They're made to chill. And enjoy themselves. Maybe even breed. And lay in hammocks and drink sangrias. Just like me. But, like, smaller and duller, and more prone to emotional damage.

     [click] There. Done. Submitted.

     I even added the part where he tried to flail around and escape when my friends and I came to collect him. I think your educator would find that tidbit... amusing. (laughs) I know I did.

     Happy? Are you gonna stop crying now?

     Good. Because it's an annoying sound.

     Oh. Well... you're welcome. I guess.

     It was almost done, like I said. You were just too delirious to actually finish the thing. That's what you get for doing things at the last minute. 

     [beat]

     No, I'm not gonna cuddle with you.

     Not gonna happen, human.

     I do *not* do cuddles and snuggles.

     [beat]

     You know what? Fine. Just to shut you up.

     I'm not cuddling. Stay on your side. [bed shuffling]

     No.

     I'm closing my eyes now.

     No.

     Go sleep, it's fucking late.

     [beat]

     I can feel you looking at me. Stop it.

     Close your eyes.

     Close your eyes or I'll give you nightmares.

     [beat]

     Yeah, I thought so.

[[fade out to END]]