Chapter 84

Dropping the bombs as I did have an even more significant effect than I could ever imagine; the one-mission debrief turned into a three-day interrogation session over all of my missions. I also lost count of all the psychological tests and reviews I underwent during this time. To say that Major Hawk was not happy would be an obvious thing to say. It seemed that having encountered the, how good they term it “intelligence” that was on the other side of the void reaches was a bit of a revelation.

Going back over all those missions, especially those I ended up in the medical wing, was not pleasant. We went through every encounter down to the most minute detail multiple times. Dr Misra spent hours going over my recollections of my dreams. What I thought I heard in them, how I felt and what my reactions were when I woke. All were recorded in the debriefings and taken away, most likely to be studied by others.

They kept me out of contact with anyone and denied me all access to the newsfeeds. I could say that I was bored during this time as I was closely bombarded by different questions and ran through various tests, but it did become tedious. Repetition of many of these questions and tests over and over was designed to find out if I had missed anything or was purposely omitting anything else. On the third day, they finally relented and told me that tomorrow I would be given access to the newsfeeds and would be able to contact my mother.

That night I was excited like a small child is on Christmas Eve, waiting for the next day and what presence it would find. The night passed and before I fell asleep, I knew I would need to contact my mother first. They told me they had not told her I was awake due to my “revelations”. I was still slightly anxious about how the conversation could go with her.

Around 9 AM, I finally got my hands on a communications device in the form of an e-screen pad. I would be able to do video calls from it and watch both the news and entertainment fee channels. I was no fool and knew that as a government device, it would monitor everything I did. I am going to have to avoid all the kinky porn channels, or maybe not?

“Hello?”

“Hi, mum, it’s me.”

“John! You’re awake! Why did no one tell me?”

“Only just woken up. They had put me through a battery of tests to ensure I was okay.” This was a blatant lie, but we had all agreed it was for the best not to tell the truth. Only those with the correct clearance would know half of what I said.

“I still should have been told! Then we get something together; I will get down to you as fast as I can.” The face seemed wearier and lined the normal. But she did generally seem happy that I was back in the land of the awake and active.

“It’s okay. I’m fine. I just got those who quite a bit of physio and I will be back on my feet.” I knew that she cared for me, but having her around worrying about everything would not help me in the slightest. So, I decided to share the news she always wanted to hear.

“Mum, just to let you know, I’ve told them that I will no longer be an operative. After the last missionary knew it was time to quit.” I told her straight up, expecting a happy reaction, but that was not what I got. She seemed confused for a few seconds and then began speaking.

“Oh, that’s good to hear, John, especially with all that’s happening.” That was not what I was expecting. I’m still no great judge of human emotion, but this is not what I was expecting in the slightest.

“What’s happening?”

“You know the things I’ve been happening around the world for the last few months.” Now I love my mother, but there are times that she can be ditzy, like right now!

“Mum! Me! Coma! Just awake!”

“Oh, God. Sorry, you’re so right.” She suddenly remembered that I had been unconscious for the last six months. I think the look I gave her must have communicated my feelings of “stop being a stupid woman”. Our conversation continued for a short time after that, but what she had said had become an ich in the back of my mind. What was going on? I convinced her not to come down and to remain where she was and when I was physically able, I would come home. Her fretting over everything would only get in my way and be a distraction I did not need. Of course, I didn’t tell her any of this.

I eventually got her off the line and called up the newsfeed.

It didn’t take long to dawn on me what was happening. It took longer for the shock to wear off.

Things were fucked! I mean, really fucked.

Even from the edited footage and censored reports, it was clear how bad the situation was. Vast swathes of different consonants when overrun by zones with the global supply chain on the verge of collapse. And that was the worst of it, fearful and panicking humans doing what they do best, the most stupid thing possible.

It was clear that Europe was in trouble but holding on. The fact that some countries had effectively ceased to exist was terrifying to think about. Russia and China had abandoned large areas of their countries. This resulted in massive civil unrest as the governments just abandoned large parts of the population that were still outside of zones. The fact that they no longer had the means to block the information from getting out of their nations spoke volumes in itself.

The Middle East was just chaos. Outside of a few pockets or pretences at national governments had disappeared. Israel was one of the few places holding on while the rest of the nations around it collapsed into anarchy. Africa and South America were both in trouble, but it seemed like Europe was just holding on. Pakistan had collapsed and India had taken over what was left of it that was outside of three large zones. India itself was also suffering from massive food shortages and population movements.

Whoever had been holding the United States together clearly had finally failed in their task, as there was open fighting now in many areas. This was compounded by massive zone expansion across the continent, adding to the growing chaos.

The world’s population was on the move in many areas and at unprecedented levels. They were all seeking food, shelter and security, but the terrible truth was that there was none anywhere. The zones were finally beginning to break down society to the point where it was on the verge of collapse. Britain, Ireland and a few other countries seemed to be doing the best and were the target of many refugees seeking safety. Most were travelling by sea now as zones disrupted many land routes such as major roads and rail lines.

The Royal Navy had effectively put the country under a blockade preventing ships without permission from approaching. The Royal Air Force was doing a similar thing for the skies. They weren’t even hiding now the fact that there had been numerous “incidents”. This was the polite way the government said they actively engaged and shut down or sunk those who had not heeded the warnings.

“Shit!”

That was all I could think of to say as it all sunk in. The loss of cities, nations and God knows how many people. The world was ending but not in the sudden disaster movie-esque way but in a slow, chaotic and fear-driven way.

I turned off the pad. I had to. It was all becoming too much.

I lay there for some time, thinking and trying to understand everything I had seen. I can name all the emotions within me as they swirled. Shock at what was happening, disgust at how many were acting and fear at what was going to happen. They were just a few emotions I could identify and understand. There were many more that I chose not to try to analyse.

In the back of my mind and the spark had started. It was that old voice again that drove me on into the zones. I was only a whisper, something I could ignore because I had gone through and seen too much. Even with the world falling apart, I knew my time as an operative was over.  I was exhausted, not physically, but mentally. There was only so much a human being to go through before breaking and I knew I was at my limits. Honestly, I felt sick now, even thinking about going into a zone with memories of all the pain, trauma, and fear. It was all just too much now.

Any significant trauma leaves more than just physical scars; I knew this far too well. Depression is one side effect of such injuries and I knew this old demon of mine. Lying on the bed here and now, I knew it wasn’t just the depression talking as I wasn’t really feeling any. All the signs I recognised telling me that I was depressed were not present. I was just done.

Dr Misra had been trying to get my mindset back into my operative mode so I could get back into action. She has been going over all the possible symptoms and trying to get me to understand my feelings. How they were all linked to the trauma, I had endured. The news report clearly now showed why she was so pushy when it came to me starting my physical therapy. They were desperate.

Yet even knowing this, knowing that I could make a difference, I couldn’t do it anymore. A little part of me felt bad, but only a little.

I got out of bed and walked around as physical exercise helped clear my mind. There supplied me to close now and I decided to change and go for a longer walk. The medical team would be happy, but I needed to get out of the room had been here too long.

Leaving the room and walking down the corridor, it was clear that I was leaving the building. This led to a series of protests from the medical staff, which I ignored. I needed to get out and do something or talk to someone. I quickly that around the nurses trying to stop me; I was almost at the elevators when one opened.

“I thought you would be causing trouble.”

“Sgt Gregson, back on your feet, I see.” He is once more back on his feet and looks healthy. I am happy for him as he had sustained a nasty injury along with the dose of the good old grave chill. I did notice the slightly more greyness in his hair around his temples.

“Heard about all the problems you have been causing and that you are packing it all in.”

“Yes. I’m done.” He just nods at this.

“Going for a walk?”

“Yes. I need to grab that rule had been in there too long. I thought a walk would help as I have all this nervous energy.”

“That sounds like a good idea; mind if I join you?”

“Sure, but don’t bother trying to change my mind. I’m not going back in again.”

“I understand. Before we go for a little jaunt, do you mind if we stop by and see someone else first? I was planning to see you then him.”

“Okay.”

“Hop in. We need to head to another floor.”

I do that very thing and as I turn around to face the doors as they close, I notice that he is pressed the button that will take us to the floor where the psych ward is located.

Who are we going to see?