Author's Note
Added 2025-12-11 06:12:58 +0000 UTCHey guys, author here.
Good morning from my end of the world.
How's your day been? Have you guys been enjoying the story so far? I apologise for the low word count per chapter, but I do try my best to update two chapters a day most days so ... that should outweigh that at least 😶😶😶
Anyway, without wasting much of our time, I wanted to ask a question about the story direction.
First, if you feel there are any parts I messed up in, or anything that could be corrected, feel free to drop your opinions and I will check it out myself.
Second, It's the MC's quirk. I did my research when I first chose it to gauge just what it would be able to do, and I believe I have tried my best to show a gradual increase in the growth of what he can do with it. It's mainly due to his short time actually using it.
However, I might be wrong and missing something here on what he should be able to do right away, so I wanted to ask you guys.
Is there anything I am missing? Is there any logical inconsistency I have made while designing his power so far? Or is there something he hasn't done yet that he should be able to?
Let me know what you think.
Comments
Noted. Hope recent chapter addresses this
Future
2025-12-21 12:02:17 +0000 UTCI like the story direction but wanted to ask if eri is gonna show having issues with her quirk like in Canon. It was always a concern for her and seems forgotten in alot of fanfictions
Josh kindred
2025-12-13 17:40:09 +0000 UTCone of my suggestions is to stretch time zone of canon, because almost everything in canon happened in one year. And its quite unreal. It would be much better to strerch along all 3 years. And it will give a bit more time for growth
Amir
2025-12-12 15:14:09 +0000 UTCThanks. I appreciate it. I have also noted your suggestions and concerns. For the whole overhaul part .. well, I'll be honest and say I didn't really think it throughly as I was doing the rewrite and didn't really have much room for stretching. I'll note everything else
Future
2025-12-12 10:29:36 +0000 UTCOh yeah, I haven't fully explained those yet. Well you already have to hat one can do.
Future
2025-12-12 10:25:17 +0000 UTCI just wonder what the Mangekyo abilities are gonna be.
Pika XD
2025-12-12 02:39:46 +0000 UTCI think it's pretty good.
Chris
2025-12-12 00:04:01 +0000 UTCI'll clarify, I don't think his Body Manipulation is on the same level as Panacea's Biokinesis, though it would be awesome to see it be trained to that level along with his Chakra abilities
Wizzy
2025-12-11 19:47:38 +0000 UTCDoing good! I think the whole "Control over your body" aspect could be greatly expanded upon. I was thinking about it during the fight with Todoroki and it would be useless now but could he have gained the ability to stick to walls by creating the hooks that Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man had? That ability was pretty much just tiny hairs on his hands that allowed him to hook into walls and retracted when he didn't want to stick. Or is his ability not to that power yet and is mainly just used to shift his organs? When I think of Body Manipulation, I think of Panacea from Worm who's ability in body manipulation is absolutely busted but she can't use it on herself. I think it should greatly be explored going forth...
Wizzy
2025-12-11 19:45:24 +0000 UTCIf he has total control of his body, does that mean he can eat vitamins and minerals to increase the strength and durability of his body, like Chad from Super Powereds? If so, is his quirk the same as Chad's power?
Nick Pearson
2025-12-11 18:40:56 +0000 UTCI think he should be preparing the bullshit speech for nezu when he needs to explain how his 'control' awakened and gave him chackra, pin wheel eyes and a chackra mech which looks like a demonic warrior, i also believe he should further observe the synergy between chackra and his quirk, perhaps he could look into space/time/dimensional jutsu which would be easier because of his quirk, could let him have storage seals and could be a way to get nature chackra, letting a smalldimensional tear to naruto's dimension or atleast a dimension with chackra to flood the world with it for senjutsu and easy use genjutsu 😃, ignore the possibility of ninja superheros coming about eventually down the line, because quirks totally wouldn't evolve to eventually take advantage of chackra
Joe
2025-12-11 17:56:34 +0000 UTCI think you have been doing a good job. In terms of quirk and powers, your explanations so far make sense. I do question how you will explain his ninja techniques like shadow clone and element release when questioned? I think it would fit the storyline better if he only sticks with the academy three, shadow clones, body flicker and rasengan in terms of naruto techniques. His use of sharingan could be as a tool for analysis and prediction instead of copying. This is just a suggestion and I am curious on how you will move the story forward
ShiroHige92
2025-12-11 14:03:33 +0000 UTCYou doing good 👍
doomdude
2025-12-11 07:34:38 +0000 UTCOther than his quirk and chakra inconsistencies (as mentioned in my reply to your reply), I don’t really think there’s much else. He’s not in class 1-A yet so there’s not much to critique regarding character interactions quite yet since they haven’t happened in a major capacity lol. Also, I’m having a great night! Hope you have a good rest of your day! 👍😙
Turles
2025-12-11 06:28:45 +0000 UTC
