Propane Substitute (Mini Story)
Added 2019-12-07 18:54:42 +0000 UTC"The gas on the stove isn't working. Honey, did you pay the bill this month?" Mom said
"Crap... It has been a rather busy month. I'm sorry." Dad apologized.
"I guess we're having leftovers for Christmas dinner." She said sadly.
"Not necessarily, mom." Said her son Gene, who was a skilled engineer.
He looked over to his girlfriend sitting next him. She weighed well over 300 pounds and was lactose intolerant, but her love of baked goods and dairy based products like ice cream and milkshakes resulted in her having seemingly permanent bloating. She sat there sweating bullets trying to keep her backside calm, but tiny toots kept slipping out and they were strong enough to stink up the entire dining room.
"What?" She asked.
Within an hour, Gene had jerryrigged a long rubber tube into the house's gas tank.
"Are you sure this is necessary?" She asked.
"Don't you want Christmas dinner?"
"But you sure this will even work?"
"Trust me. I sleep next to you every night. I know firsthand how much methane you can produce."
His girlfriend groaned, but she did really want Christmas dinner. Blushing, she dropped her pants and he inserted the tube up her wide behind. She then pushed out a long fart that was strong enough to over inflate the tube and give the stove over five minutes worth of flame. This continued as Gene's girlfriend spent hours passing monster gas to power the stove while Gene's mom got to work cooking. The burning fuel filled the house with noxious smelling fumes but it worked and the family enjoyed a delicious Christmas dinner, although they all had to wear makeshift nose plugs while eating.
