Fat Cat Burglar

It's 1898 and a number of well to do citizens in New York had suffered a string of break ins. A thief was sneaking into their homes and robbing them of money and valuables. They also found themselves being pickpocketed of their money purses and the keys to their bank lockboxes. A police investigation was underway but the thief left no clues of their identity or how to track them down. All they could determine was that this must a cat burglar of great physical ability and devious skill and the authorities put out warned potential victims to keep watch out for suspicious figures with slender and athletic physique. 

However, it was soon noticed that the burglaries were limited to only of the most coldhearted members of the city's elite. Cruel businessmen who were well known to have acquired their wealth through illicit means and didn't care about the people they hurt along the way. So while upper classes regarded the cat burglar as a hateful criminal, the working class regarded them as a hero.

Jacob Karloff was a local factory owner who ran his business like a Russian industrial plant and bribed local authorities to ignore the unsafe and abusive working conditions put on his underpaid employees. Seeing his fellow upperclassmen getting robbed by a seemingly uncatchable thief led to him filling his mansion with armed guards and installing a small but nearly unbreakable vault to store his most valuable belongings in.

One day, while he walking through the city with a private guard paid to watch his person and keep others at a distance from him, a sweaty and obese news reporter came towards him in a bowlegged gait. She was a pale skinned blob of barely mobile flesh wearing overalls and a reporter hat, with her 4X sized clothes doing little to hide how bulging her body was. With every step Karloff could hear her outfit straining to keep itself together, he could see her massive gut and bloated tits jiggling in her ill-fitting garb. Her wide ass cheeks bounced wildly behind her and made audible clap-like noises that could be heard even from a distance. She tried to approach him but his guard pushed her away.

"Excuse me, Mr. Karloff, sir. I'm Mattie James from the Brooklyn Times." She said through heavy, snort like breaths, her plump face flush with exhaustion from just walking. "I was wondering if I could ask you a question?"

"Oh, alright." Karloff said, signalling for his guards to let the woman near him. No need to worry about having his pockets picked by someone so fat that their hands probably couldn't even fit in most pockets.

"What do you think of the recent robberies on various business owners the past few months and what steps have you've taken to protect yourself and your property?"

"I think that's its a shame that some self centered cat burglar is trying to ruin such upstanding members of the community." Karloff said. "As for myself, I spared no expense to keep myself safe from this cur. My home is more guarded than ever before and I've recently installed a vault that's impossible to crack without a key that is always kept on my person." He said patting on his shirt's front pocket, with ringing sound of a set of keys being heard. "Let's see this so called master cat burglar try to get to me now."

"Thank you sir for the quote. Be sure to read it in our upcoming issue!"

Mattie tried to waddled around the wealthy man but clumsily bumped into him with her flabby arm and hip. She apologized profusely before trotting away. Karloff rolled his eyes in annoyance at the fat slob and continued on his way.

He went home later that night, but found his guards to be in a state of panic as it was revealed that his vault had been opened and cleaned out. He checked his pockets and saw that his keys were missing! But how? Aside from that hippo, no one had even been within five feet of him today!

On a neighboring rooftop, a large, blackclad figure watched and listened to the chaos unfolding below while twirling a set of keys in her deceptively pudgy fingers. She stood up, slung her bag of loot over her chunky shoulder and fled the scene with surprising speed and agility, being as big and jiggly as a hippo but as quick and quiet as a cat.