"TYPANTRONN SMUCHPEPPER SANTOCUP!"

I bellowed.  "You have been warned repeatedly about betting on the humiliation of your lord and master!  When are you going to stop?"

"Never, Sire," Typantronn answered sassily.  "We serve thee more faithfully in more ways than ever our dams did, and we always shall - but the betting is a sacred tradition, not to be hindered.  Besides, I am verily making out like a bandit.  Why quit when I keep on winning, winning, winning??"

"I'm surprised at the level of insubordination among your troops," Vernier observed.  "There are lots of ways of establishing discipline which I could teach you.  And tangential to that, perhaps next time we can ruin the field commander's lucky streak by having some great venery.  But I have to ask you, how do you really feel about us so-called 'lowfolk'?"

"You are alluring but dangerous," I remarked before turning back to the Ixies.  "Tell me more about this doomsday weapon.  What exactly does it do?"

"It is one of those exploding blam-tubes which hurleth a deadly missile out of the blamming end."

"I've seen those before, at the O'Daisies manufactory," I observed.

"O, but Sire, this one consisteth of TWO tubes, connected so artfully together that they may be carried as one.  With it, one may deal out a double death to one's adversaries.  Both tubes may be blammed in concert, or indeed they may be blammed separately:  One for now, and another for later, with no need to re-charge the device betwixt the two blams!"

"That could be useful," I mused aloud.  "Not for me, of course.  Even with two ready shots there's no way it could match the speed of my bow .. but lowfolk's archery skills are notoriously pitiful, so such a device could be a tactical boon for my followers!  I need to speak to this Lysander fellow and see if he can supply us with some of these weapons!  How long will he be in the area?"

"He usually stays in town for a few days or a week, depending on how good his business is," Vernier informed me.

"Could you talk to him and persuade him to come here?" I asked her.

"It would help to convince him if I had some gold, to show him you're a serious buyer," Vernier replied.  "He won't want to come all the way out here unless he's sure of making a big sale."

Suddenly the trees rustled, and the Voice of the Forest whispered to me "Ash Marten says hello."

PREV http://www.patreon.com/posts/41693897

NEXT http://www.patreon.com/posts/42222342