Scraps - Driver's Ed

“That’s a wall.”

“Fucking… Stupid…”

“That’s a tree,” Jules pointed out unhelpfully as I rode straight off the wall and into the trunk of a tree.

“Yeah, I know,” I grunted out. “Goddammit…”

“Mm,” Jules hummed, not even hiding the humor in her voice now. “That’s another wall.”

“I know!” I groaned and jerked my body to the left in hopes that the driver on screen would follow my movement. He did not.

“And that’s a moat,” Jules said before letting out an amused laugh. “Where’d you learn to drive?”

“I swear to God it was easier to learn stick,” I muttered out under my breath as I watched my tiny driver get pulled out of the water by some strange cloud riding creature.

“How?” Jules asked with another breezy laugh. “There’s at least five gears on that. This only has one.”

I growled in my throat as I instantly ran into another obstacle -- a side rail this time -- the moment my driver set wheels on the track again. “It would be easier if I had a steering wheel. I’m sure of it.”

“If we were playing Gran Turismo or Forza or even Need for Speed, I might oblige you, but this is Mario Kart 64, baby.” Jules held up the strange three pronged controller that mimicked the one I was holding and threw me a lopsided grin. “You have to figure out this janky ass setup like the rest of us.”

“Why are you putting me through this hell?” I asked and immediately let out another noise of frustration.

“Well, I wanted to teach you how to play video games,” Jules said with a frown. “It’s not supposed to be hell.”

She set the controller next to her on the couch and drew her feet up under her. I could see that I had fucked up just by the way she shrunk in herself. All because I was losing at this stupid game. 

Motherfucking… Dammit… Fuck. All right. I can fix this.

I put my controller down and slid closer on the couch before wrapping an arm around Jules. “I’m sorry, love,” I murmured and kissed the freckle under her ear. “I wasn’t trying to upset you. I’m just… Hm…”

“A sore loser?” Jules asked with a cock of her brow. It almost looked as if she were trying to hold back a smile. 

My lips pursed and my eyes narrowed at this snarky comment. “Perhaps a tad, yes.”

Jules swiveled her body towards me, an eager smile lighting up her face now. “I have an idea!”

“And I have a bad feeling about this…” I replied with a cautious stare.

Jules rolled her eyes but continued to smile at me. “You just need a little incentive, I think.”

“Incentive, huh?” I asked, my curiosity sparked now. 

“Sure,” Jules shrugged with a nod and then eyed me up and down. She smiled wider and leaned forward toward me, her hands on her knees. “I propose a game of strip Mario Kart.”

My brows raised, truly interested now. “How do we play?”

“Well,” Jules drawled and scooped her controller back into her hands. “If I win a race, you take something off. If you win a race, I take something off. If neither of us win, we both strip.”

The odds weren’t in my favor for winning many races, but if I could prevent Jules from winning, then there was a chance she was going to get naked. Those were odds that I could swing in my favor, I was sure of it. So, with a nod, I agreed.

“Okay, I’m game,” I said finally, a smile pulling at my lips.

“Excellent,” Jules said quite agreeably and began to set up the race while I picked up my controller with a deep draw of breath. 

This race went about as well as my first one. I couldn't seem to get holding the green button down while using this stupid stick. It was janky as hell. Jules wasn't wrong about that. Then there was the funny little trigger in the back that was supposed to activate something and I kept forgetting about it. The whole thing was so much to juggle and in my vast intelligence it was offending me that I couldn't seem to wrap my mind around it. 

Not my fucking fault Dad didn't let us play games growing up. Stupid fucking devices. I see why he didn't. Waste of brain space, I fucking swear… 

My eyes narrowed as I watched the driver I was trying to control in between glances at Jules’ box on the screen above mine. Every time I checked on her progress I ended up fucking myself a little more, but it was worth it to see how she was doing. The closer we got to the end I began to hold my breath as I realized she wasn't winning. 

I could see Jules sitting in second, just behind some big monkey man, and I silently chanted “Come on,” under my breath as they raced toward the finish. It didn't matter to me at all that I was sitting somewhere near last place. As long as Jules lost, I won. 

At the last stretch of the road Jules sent a red shell flying from her kart at the monkey. He went flying in the air and Jules and her tiny dinosaur sailed through the finish line. I could feel my jaw popping by the way I was grinding my teeth at her flawless win. 

“Bam bitch!” Jules hollered and threw her hands up in the air.

Did she have to be so goddamn flashy? Sheesh. Just rub in how good you are at this stupid fucking… Okay. Okay. It's okay. You can do this Zoe. It's just a dumb video game. You're smarter than a box of circuits and wires. 

“Alright slow poke,” Jules remarked with a broad grin. “Pay up.”

I was already unbuttoning my shirt as Jules was speaking. I was eager to get to the next race and show her what was what. She would see.

My shirt was slapped into Jules hand just before I picked my controller back up with a concentrated face aimed at the TV. “Okay. Let's go. Round two.”

“Mm,” Jules hummed with a smirk and threw the shirt over her shoulder. “Gonna be a long night isn't it?”

I eyed my girl with a sideways glance and allowed a tiny grin to slip through my hard mask of focus. “You bet it is. Now c’mon. I'm gonna whip your ass at this dumb game.”

Jules let out a hearty chuckle with her head thrown back before shooting me with a straight faced expression. “I'm gonna destroy you, Kaganoff.”

“Perhaps.” My grin widened a bit and I knew a devilish twinkle was gleaming in my eye when I replied, “But things will be different after the game is over.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jules asked with a cock of her brow and her own sly smile. “What happens after the game?”

“That’s when I destroy you,” I told her matter-of-factly.

Jules bit her lip and pushed the button to start a new race as she met my eyes in a fiery stare. “Please do.”