Not in a good place
Added 2025-08-17 09:58:48 +0000 UTCHello all of you: My dear supporters, fans, acquaintances and more.
I regret to inform you all that this Sunday’s dev report will be scrapped, due to the fact that I’m again in a very, VERY bad spot mental health wise. I’ve been having more episodes recently, the first one being at the beginning of July (which I all mentioned to you all). And recently I had one which I didn’t mention; since I wanted to keep up a brave front (two weeks ago, just before the new game build’s release).
These made me realize that I needed to work on myself. And so I did: I went out more, I got back into the gym. I fixed my diet. But severe panic episodes persisted; and my world kept getting smaller and smaller as a result.
And so, I visited the doctor this Thursday. In the hopes that there was (is) some kind of medication that could help me cope a bit better with this all. He put me onto an anti-depressant. With the warning that it could be a bit to adjust to.
Oh was that an understatement. Since Thursday evening I’ve been spiraling HARD. And at the moment I’m reaching about the point I was mental-health wise as I was with my Japan episode three years ago. Which was about the worst time in my life in all honesty.
Being back in this spot, so afraid to do even the most mundane of things. Is in all honesty, too much. The side-effects of the anti-depressant should wear off (or get less) within a week or two. But at the moment I’m STRUGGLING to...stay afloat.
Just to be clear: I’m surrounded by loved ones. And I’m NOT going to do anything drastic. But it is a VERY hard time for me right now. And I’m just praying that in the next few days I will feel better. I love my work. I love you all. I want to keep doing this, keep on going. I hope you all understand.
I’ll try to keep you all posted, though I might be a bit hard to reach through here or Discord. I hope to pull out of this soon. I want to do better. I want to do right by you folks, and to myself. But I’m just a fucking mess right now. I’m sorry.
Yours,
Scriptor
Comments
Where here
Hadschott
2025-08-18 23:17:05 +0000 UTCkeep up the fight bro, anxiety is a real bear. lexapro did a lot for me.
invalidwerdz
2025-08-18 15:27:02 +0000 UTCI'm rooting for you!
Crabhorn
2025-08-18 12:57:00 +0000 UTCWe’ll be here. Keep taking care of yourself!
blah
2025-08-18 06:06:45 +0000 UTCit'll be alright my brother went through something similar when he first went on his meds
_
2025-08-18 04:11:54 +0000 UTCJust take care of yourself buddy
Jacketfreak
2025-08-17 21:33:29 +0000 UTCTake some time off of this. We all are here to support you :). Many hugs from all of us!
petgirlchloe
2025-08-17 18:41:13 +0000 UTCHey scriptor, i´ve had mental health Problems too.. and for me the the Sport and Eating thing you mentioned helped alot. And even more so a Tip of a Doc i once visited. Just set Goals for yourself but without a expiry date and every morning i started to think about what i already acomblished so there is more Trust in yourself which helped alot in terms of Selfeesteem. The Doc said its important to keep the on Things you can influence rather then the things you cant. I know words from other and Tips dont helpalot because sadly its a journey we all have to do alone withourselfs. But i hope these Words help you bit up because its a war we all in. Your are the best!
Wingel Wangel
2025-08-17 17:55:10 +0000 UTCI wish you the best.Stay brave!
Crowe
2025-08-17 15:19:51 +0000 UTCfirst of all: best wishes for you. I hope your medication will work soon and help recovering your mental health. No need to say sorry, get well soon, cause that´s what matters.
MicjaPesa
2025-08-17 12:18:08 +0000 UTCAnxiety and Depression nightmare to get out of Ive found BUT it is very possible , maybe have a look see what could be a trigger for you, not sure what you have tried when i was suffering id then be seeing a counsellor who suggested i wrote down what was bothering me and with each item i break it down more, at the time i was low on cash flow so it got to me & i let it tbh then i realised i could change things do things that make me smile and so on found my mood improving , maybe write down things in your life like a mini Diary etc what was the weather doing at the time, did anything P me off upset me, what did I eat / drink that could have an effect, just an idea for you , personally i play alot of games so i can escape into them with some friends , try distract myself from what a sh... life i got
simon s
2025-08-17 10:29:55 +0000 UTC
