Private Garden - Reward Preview
Added 2025-05-11 16:31:28 +0000 UTCThere are 16 dialogue variants left so too bad that I can't show you the cleaning cut-in yet. Let's look forward to the full set when I finish the next work then T.T
Hope you will enjoy it !
Preview for our final reward.
- Hanada Yanochi
Comments
Thank you ! I have just fixed all those flaws you mentioned. Looks like I have improved my writing skill a bit but I don't know if I can keep it haha well, better try my best though. Thank you for your caring words and please stay hydrated at your work. It will be terrible if you get a stroke or faint because of dehydration. Summer has just come but the heat is surely abnormal. This year is even hotter than last year, you know. Please be careful, I really hope the best for you !
花田やのち - Yanochi Hanada
2025-05-12 08:45:05 +0000 UTCAh man the dialogue in this one is one of the best yet. It's really sweet but also really lewd in a way that fits her shyness, and you really get the most out of the setting and the scenario. Her shy personality combined with her earnest desire makes her even more alluring. I love the lines where she's being honest about how into it she is, and I think the way she pouts when she says to put it in raw is really cute. I really don't want to leave the garden... I'm really looking forward to the rest of it! But I also hope you can rest up, stomach pain sucks. I got a bit dehydrated today and felt a lot of discomfort so...sometimes these things just happen when you're in the zone or get really busy. I feel like staying hydrated helps a lot, but at some point the body needs rest no matter what we want. In terms of mechanical stuff there's not much to say, on that front this set is also fantastic. On page 8, I'd put "are" instead of "they're", on page 14 I'd put "be" after "can't", and on page 17 I'd say "moves" instead of "move". But that's it, minor stuff, and everything else is smooth. Her facial expressions and the variations are absolutely magnificent and I can't wait to get the rest of it. The cut-ins work really well! Thank you for all of your hard work! You're doing wonderfully. I'm loving the dialogue. You're doing good with getting into the character and scene and each set's dialogue so far has had its own "feel" to it that matches the moods and personalities of the characters and what's going on in the scenario.
Toastywafflz
2025-05-12 05:59:46 +0000 UTCThank you man, I feel I am getting better with each work. Writing is harder than I expect but I guess I am doing fine for now. Hope you will be gentle with me on this haha
花田やのち - Yanochi Hanada
2025-05-11 17:02:59 +0000 UTCThe dialogue in these are great! I love the direction you went with it. The cut in were also a phenomenal addition, it's adds a lot to the whole thing. Excellent work!
Ultra
2025-05-11 16:55:22 +0000 UTC
