Ch5 Pg54 (BEFORE & AFTER)
Added 2016-12-06 16:02:28 +0000 UTCI'm not sure if the difference or the motivations behind it are too obvious - by all accounts, the art is solid and the linework is clean, so why even change anything?
It's for the storytelling, dude. It's all for the storytelling.
Before I start working on layouts for a page, I always ask myself what general idea I'm trying to communicate with it. How is this page going to move the plot forward? What step is it taking to drive the story?
Once I have the answer, everything I put down on the page is with the motivation of communicating that answer.
On this page, it was "The Perfect Shot has presented itself."
Knowing that, is it easier to spot the problems I saw once I stopped rushing?
I mean, look at the original fourth panel (on the right). How on earth is that an ideal shot? Sure, Brody's expression is great and full of rage, but also cluttered and full of unecessary details - not to mention how difficult of a shot that still presents.
(There's also the matter of moving Lyra's expression out of OOC territory and back into her proper characterization, but that's a different matter altogether.)
Gosh, I freaking love storytelling, dudes.
What do you think? Do I overthink things? Can you think of examples from other stories with moments that weren't commicated clearly, despite their best attempts to do so?
Comments
A lot can be said about subtle changes. Just focusing on Lyra here. The two panels mean very different things to me. Left = "You were a good guy professor, but oh well, such is life. Time to die." Right = "I don't have a choice, but doing this will torment me forever, but I must, if I don't then... no I have to. But what if. I .... forgive me professor."
2016-12-07 00:43:20 +0000 UTCFor easy mode, activate cross-eyed 3D image viewing, ... vision.
2016-12-07 00:36:23 +0000 UTCQuick! Spot all the differences!
Shield Generator 7
2016-12-06 19:26:58 +0000 UTCAs they say, write drunk; edit sober. The best revisions happen when you can step away from a WIP long enough to look at it clearly
Renee
2016-12-06 17:11:34 +0000 UTCI agree, it's a subtle/huge difference...
Matthew Thull
2016-12-06 16:12:52 +0000 UTC
