Health Problems & Diagnoses
Added 2019-03-04 18:24:19 +0000 UTCHi, guys.
Y'all have... obviously noticed a change with how things have been going with the comic. In the past, I've been pointing my finger mainly at my current position on the Animaniacs reboot as the reason for these changes, but to be perfectly honest that's been something of a half-truth, and I would like to apologize for misleading you in this way.
Something that every content creator on the Internet has to deal with is how much of themselves they choose to share with the public, and generally, health and wellness are very personal and private issues, but when it begins to interfere with my obligations and delivery of content to you, I think that's when I need to start being honest and transparent with you.
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Obviously, Yoko has been no stranger to health problems in the past, but it was only relatively recently that she discovered that her multitude of issues may have a singular source. "Tumor" is a very big and very very very scary word, and it is absolutely and completely understandable that she had to have some space to both deal with this issue as well as her other very big and IRL responsibilities. This is why the colors of the comic have recently been flats-only.
After a whole 30 years on this earth and an entire complicated childhood of refusing to acknowledge Mental Health and Illnesses, I finally started going to therapy late last year. I was 85% percent sure I had an anxiety disorder, but the specialist I was seeing needed some time to formally arrive at a diagnosis... which contained an additional fun surprise that I, similarly, find very very very frightening.
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Geez, you'd think I'd've learned by now. How many times have we done this already? It doesn't make it any less scary for me, but here goes:
I need to take a break again.*
*Frankly, taking breaks, hiatuses, missing updates, and so on and so forth, always frighten me because I want so badly to see this comic all the way through to its end. Long-time and loyal followers are aware of another comic I did not finish and had to abandon before its completion, and my worst fear is repeating that experience.
However, I also spend a lot of time thinking about how isolated I felt working on that first project, vs. just how many people are involved and who are so invested and affected by this current project (which includes you who are reading this post right this second).
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What I would like to spend this break doing is to find and secure a Temporary Colorist to fill Yoko's position while she is taking care of herself.
This would give me time to not only REST and further [deal with/come to terms with/focus on] my own issues without distraction, but also be proactive about the comic project as a whole and secure a means of motivation to work ahead on it in a way that isn't too creatively draining. This time without Yoko has taught me that I can't work on a project entirely by myself. I need to have someone to work alongside and who I feel is depending on me (because I won't do something solely for myself, I guess? Oh, Depression, I've got your number now. I know your tricks).
I'm not sure what will happen from here, but it does feel like DotL is on the verge of some sort of big change. Yoko may or may not decide to return to her position on the comic due to circumstances outside of her control and/or for personal reasons stemming from Real Life responsibilities, and although that is a scary thought, it is understandable and can be dealt with.
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Daughter of the Lilies has always been about Mental Illness to a certain extent, whether or not I realized it at the time I started the story, and Book II is largely about Thistle being honest with herself and others about her issues, learning about herself and them, and learning to reach out for help. So if anything, this feels like an appropriate and well timed thing to happen in my own personal life. It also... pretty much guarantees that my personal investment in writing and telling this story remains strong and hearty.
The only reason DotL exists as it does today is because of the work and help of many people, including but certainly not limited to all of you teaching me when I need to acknowledge my own limitations and (let's be real) you giving me permission to rest when I need to.
Okay, I spent a lot of time talking here, so I'll try to wrap this up quickly:
- I'm not sure how long this break will last, but I'm hoping it'll only be a month.
- I will be sending out cold-call emails to people whose style I think would be a good match for the comic. If y'all want to share any leads or people you think would be worth looking into, you can absolutely send those along to me at any time.
- I will update the site tomorrow with this comic, but with our health information blotted out because there are still some people IRL that I haven't told about my own situation yet, along with a general call for Filler Submissions.
- I will continue to update the site regularly with Filler Content during my absence.
- I will do my gosh diddly darn best to keep you all informed as to what's going on with me during this time, but I will absolutely and completely understand if you choose to step away yourselves and support me here once comic updates resume.
- How interested are you guys in seeing the Spider-Man comics I've been making to fill this gap?
Thank you very, very much for reading, and your incredible patience with me during this entire time. I'm really looking forward to your feedback.
Comments
I am sending you LOVE and HUGS and VIRTUAL CHOCOLATE. (If I knew where you lived I would be sending real chocolate.)
Chug
2019-03-06 17:54:50 +0000 UTCYou need to care of yourself first. No matter how long it takes, don’t come back until you are ready. Praying for you.
Skywings14
2019-03-06 04:00:43 +0000 UTCWishing you both the best, you both deserve rest and time to take care of yourselves. As a fellow artist who struggles with mental health I feel ya big time. I love the comics you guys create, they inspire me so much. Those Spider-Man comics. TOP TIER CONTENT. ❤️
2019-03-06 00:03:36 +0000 UTCeHugs, Meg and Yoko. I don't know what tumors are like, but I'm all to familiar with anxiety and depression. Take care and do what you need to do for you.
Jack Newbill
2019-03-05 23:27:03 +0000 UTCI'm hoping for the best for the both of you. Get lots of rest, take care of yourselves. Your health is always the most important thing here. <3
Mallow
2019-03-05 22:29:22 +0000 UTCRest easy, Meg, and you, Yoko. Life loves throwing us curve balls. (Also I'll always be a slut for Spider-Man)
StarByter
2019-03-05 18:26:30 +0000 UTCYour and Yoko's healt come first! I wish you both luck and a good recovery!
2019-03-05 17:57:54 +0000 UTCGo forth and rest, human lady. Indulge yourself with Spiderman, take your time and rest. You and Yoko deserve it. We'll be right here when you get back.
2019-03-05 15:29:41 +0000 UTCDon't you worry about us! Go and take care of yourself! And tell Yoko to take care of herself too! My thoughts are with you both. Take the time you need to take care of yourself.
Becca
2019-03-05 08:28:08 +0000 UTC<3
Noël Chrisman
2019-03-05 05:59:59 +0000 UTCFuck man, take as much time as you need to recover, your health is all that matters okay? don't push yourself if you know you need to relax, we're all here for you!
Lady of Monsters
2019-03-05 03:03:28 +0000 UTCI suffer from depression, too, Meg. I understand completely. Take as much time as you need. And HECK YEAH to the Spidey!
StLOrca
2019-03-05 02:35:59 +0000 UTCNo worries Meg, we will always be here when you are able. On a side note did you realize you drew yourself without arms?
maninblack
2019-03-05 01:31:12 +0000 UTCIt's really, really good and okay to take care of yourself. I'm so sorry things are hard. I'm really glad you're taking the time and space you need. Thank you. <3 And I think it would be awesome to see the spider-man comics.
2019-03-05 00:29:45 +0000 UTCI'm glad you're taking a break. It's so, so hard to acknowledge that it's needed, not just breaks for illness and life changes but especially mental illness or emotional changes. It's worth it, though, for helping future you out, not to mention present you who needs the break. Also, yes, I've been dyyyying to see the spidey comics, ahem.
Amy Crook
2019-03-04 23:58:35 +0000 UTCDefinitely take all the time you need! I love DotL, but it will never be as important as someone's health. Best wishes to you both.
CassB
2019-03-04 23:56:27 +0000 UTCI've felt that anxiety and depression had held me back from so much in my life - and still does sometimes - but going to therapy helped me realise so much more about my mental state and about myself in general. I've been to therapy several times, and each time I found it easier to go and ask for help and advice. I'm so happy and proud that you're reaching out for that help and taking time for yourself. We'll support you all the way, Meg.❤
2019-03-04 23:42:00 +0000 UTCHey, just last Thursday held my wife's hand as she had a lump removed... and we're still awaiting biopsy results. The prior Monday had a doctor poking at this small growth on my eyelid tell me it had to go, and that they would be (of course) likewise performing a biopsy, so WHEE, tumors for everyone! (Which is, I suppose, technically true). As a depression/ADHD sufferer myself, I can only imagine was the "additional fun surprise" was in your diagnosis; hopefully that knowledge can be converted into fuel. To make it official; YES TAKE THAT TIME.
Yohannon
2019-03-04 22:19:14 +0000 UTCMeg, you have to look out for number one, and number one is you. I hope you start feeling better soon, and you always have the support of all your fans.
Ollie
2019-03-04 21:39:34 +0000 UTCTaking a break sounds like a healthy thing to do given the circumstances. I love DotL and will thrilled and excited when it returns, however long that takes. Also, I love these spiderman comics. They are quality content, and I'm really enjoying reading them. They are a fun spin on spidey, and I love the 'slice of life' flavor they have vs the 'superhero being all heroic and junk' that is so common. So thank you for that.
2019-03-04 21:32:05 +0000 UTCThe most important thing right now is for you to feel better. You've done great work, and I have no doubt that you will continue to do great work in the future, but you should be Priority Number One. Please take care of yourself, and feel better soon!
Ellie
2019-03-04 21:08:53 +0000 UTCApology definitely not accepted. >B( Don’t apologize for doing things in the right order. And the right order here is you guys and your lives, health and happiness -> weekly page of a webcomic. Apologies are for when we choose and still screw up. Not for when we don’t choose. Apologizing because you have to deal with tumors and depression is like apologizing for being born as human beings. You’ve got a bad hand for the time being. That’s all. Please take good care of yourselves. Aside from that, what are you expecting from your colorist aside from the pure art skills? Might be able to put out a feeler or two.
M. Gunnarsson
2019-03-04 20:56:36 +0000 UTCI'm a selfish person : Please take as much time as you need, and come back only fully rested : I want you at your best to amaze me each page as you do now. I love your work, take care.
2019-03-04 20:37:03 +0000 UTCadding my support to what others have said. It's important to put yourself first and I wish u all the best on this personal journey.
2019-03-04 20:34:20 +0000 UTCYou both get yourselves well. Take as long as you need and flag us when you're ready to start again.
Sturzkampf
2019-03-04 20:20:47 +0000 UTC*hug* Because I can't add anything the other lovelies haven't already said.
Naziha Zahed
2019-03-04 20:17:05 +0000 UTCNever apologize for self care. <3 Something that has taken years to really ram into my own brain. Much love to you and Yoko!
2019-03-04 19:34:48 +0000 UTCbut doctors know how to help it heal. The fact that your took the time to collect info before giving a diagnosis means you’re working with a responsible professional.. someone very likely to do a good job. Talk to them about finding the workload that’s healthy for you right now, and how to make healthy choices about workload & commitments going forward. You’re the skill-based equivalent of a professional athlete, and can benefit from help tuning your moves.
mike stone
2019-03-04 19:31:00 +0000 UTCTaking a break so you can both take care of health issues is completely understandable, and I think many of us can sympathize more than you might know! So many people struggle with anxiety and depression, and I found out I had a pretty large tumor last year that had been causing creeping health issues for years prior (though a different kind than Yoko's). But even without shared experiences, we want you to be better for your own sakes. And if the silver lining is that it gives you a deeper connection to the comic, then that's great, but the most important thing is getting you two to a happy and healthy place. I hope the break helps you get a handle on things, but you know you've got a loyal fanbase here that'll be eagerly awaiting whatever you throw at us, whether it's fanart/fanfic/fan theories, silly doodles, Spider-Man, or anything else. We're confident you'll be able to conquer your own personal drath.
2019-03-04 19:22:14 +0000 UTCOh, no! eHugs to both of you and strong hopes that things work out.
Jack Newbill
2019-03-04 19:21:48 +0000 UTCSpeaking as one who’s been there and back, ‘having depression’ is a lot like ‘having a pulled muscle’: it’s a treatable condition that says very little about the individual except (maybe) “I pulled too hard.” It isn’t fun and it makes life more difficult,
mike stone
2019-03-04 19:21:37 +0000 UTCI would support this patreon just for the comic, because I think it's a wonderful comic and it's really nice to support artists who create comics. If you tell me that you can't (for a brief period of time) create that comic for personal health reasons, well, it's pretty simple from where I'm standing - that means I'm just supporting you guys taking a break, fighting for your health and doing your best to pull through (for that brief period of time). That's a better, not worse cause. You don't need to apologise for it. Also, I wanted to say that I really admire people who seek help for their mental issues. I can't stress this enough. You probably already know this, but a person seeking help is, in my view and in my experience, a stronger person. I mean, I don't know, I'm just this person behind a screen (swear I'm not a robot), but I think that both of you are great and I hope both of you resolve your health issues. Take your time; and when you do get better, I hope that the world will weigh less on your shoulders.
Stein
2019-03-04 19:09:36 +0000 UTCAnything I could say/write has already been said/written. Take ALL the time you need. Both of you. I wish you both all the best and hope for a swift recovery.
Christian Hoepfner
2019-03-04 19:05:26 +0000 UTCI like the Spider-Man comics, and want to see DotL through to the end. Hang in there.
Jim Sharkey
2019-03-04 19:00:02 +0000 UTCWe're here for you, and please don't feel obligated to rush back to the comic. Using the Spider-Man comics sounds like a good way to provide filler without having to churn out anything new, so if that's what you'd like to do then I say go for it. On a more personal note, please know that some of us have some inkling of an understanding and we're here for you. I have anxiety, along with multiple physical and developmental disabling conditions that weren't diagnosed until my mid- to late-20s despite being born with most of them. (Trying to sound supportive and not like I'm 1-upping you, am happy to give details but it keeps sounding like the latter so I'll wait for if you want to ask.) It's hard, and takes time, and please feel free to take that time. You're important. <3
2019-03-04 18:54:38 +0000 UTCI agree with Mary 100%. Thank you for sharing what’s going on, too. I know it’s not easy to talk about. I’m so glad you’re taking the time you both need to look after your physical and mental health!
2019-03-04 18:45:47 +0000 UTCYou both need to do whatever it is to make you both healthy and happy. DotL, wonderful as it is, is secondary to that. Take all the time you need, we'll be here for you. (Gives you a totally platonic and consensual hug.)
Royce Day
2019-03-04 18:44:36 +0000 UTCDefinitely do what its best for your well being. It will help your story and your creativity in the long run. <3 I remember dealing with depression and anxiety when they hounded me and my husband(bf at the time). By the grace of God we are better than we were but it took time and an honest heart. Take every thought captive and remember to give yourself grace! I also can relate to the health thing, as a close family member has been battling tumors off and on. It's so hard on the heart... But there are so many with victory! My prayers go out to you both. For peace, renewal, and healing.
Mia Pearce
2019-03-04 18:44:18 +0000 UTCThank you very very very much. And HECK YES, that would seriously be so great. I would love that.
Meg Syv
2019-03-04 18:41:32 +0000 UTCWe trust you. We trust Yoko, too. We need both to you to be ok, so take -whatever- time you need. I learned a long time ago that when horrible things happen with suspiciously-timed silver linings to them (not sure if that bit makes sense) that you need to stop and listen and do what the universe is telling you to do. And go with your gut, too. Can we make fan arts to help out with the filler? Is that ok?
Mary Williams
2019-03-04 18:37:08 +0000 UTCHealth and wellbeing- physical, mental and emotional- come first!! Take care of yourselves. <3
Moriah Nutt
2019-03-04 18:35:38 +0000 UTC💗 Take the time you need.
Tanna Borrell
2019-03-04 18:30:20 +0000 UTC
