Picture Story: A Hollow Existence

Deanna Troi counsels Ensign Burnham about the inordinate amount of time that she has been spending in the holodeck...

"Your supervisor is concerned, Michael. She says that your job performance has deteriorated of late."

The Ensign licked her lips nervously. "I know that I have a problem... I just can't stop myself."

Deanna offered a sympathetic smile. "Yours is not the first case of holo-addiction that I've dealt with. It can a difficult problem to overcome on your own."

"Sometimes I just feel so... insignificant. When I joined Starfleet, I expected it to be a grand adventure... but I spend most of my time running level two diagnostics and replacing worn out isolinear chips. I'm just a glorified technician... while the bridge crew experiences all the excitement..."

The Counselor nodded in understanding. "And in your holo-programs, you get to experience being at the center of the action - being the person upon whom everyone depends to save the day when disaster strikes."

Burnham bit her lower lip and nodded. 

"Fantasy can be a healthy way to cope with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy," Deanna assured her. "But when the fantasy becomes more important than reality, it can actually undermine your self esteem and reinforce those insecurities."

"I know... the life I have in the holodeck is starting to feel more real than the one out here on the ship. My real life feels... hollow..."

Deanna frowned pensively. "That is certainly not healthy in the long run, Michael. I am going to help you gradually wean yourself off of dependence on the holodeck and find more satisfaction in your job in the real world. After all, you are serving aboard the Enterprise, the flagship of the Federation. You wouldn't be here if you didn't have what it takes to be a competent Starfleet officer..."

* * *

"I thought the idea was for me to stop using the holodeck," Burnham noted as she followed the Counselor into holodeck 7. 

"Oh, it is," Deanna assured her. "I developed a program to help people confront their insecurities and overcome holo-addiction. It will probably take several sessions for you to overcome your dependence on the holodeck. Let's get started."

The Ensign nodded uncertainly.

"Computer, run program 'Monsters from the Id.''"

"Please be advised that a shipwide level 1 diagnostic is in progress," the computer replied. "Holodeck use is restricted without a command-level override until the diagnostic is complete."

"Override the restriction and run the program," Deanna replied. "Authorization Troi 113715 Omicron." She winked at Burnham. "I knew taking that bridge officers test would come in handy someday."

The stark yellow and black walls of the holodeck blurred out of existence as a new environment materialized around the pair. They were in a gloomy corridor lined with Ionic columns, like some ancient Greek ruin. The atmosphere was rather foreboding.

Oh, and they were both naked.

"What the... why are we naked?!" Burnham sputtered in surprise.

"I have found that nudity can help people overcome their insecurities," Deanna explained with a carefree wave of one hand. "Anxiety about your body can be related to deeper inhibitions that interfere with your ability to connect with others on an intimate level. Once you strip away the clothing, you have no choice but to confront those inhibitions..."

Michael nodded and turned her attention to their surroundings. They stood at the middle of an intersection between two corridors. She could see other intersections in the distance. "So... what exactly is this place supposed to be?"

"This labyrinth is a symbolic representation of your subconscious," Deanna answered. "As we explore these dark passages, we probe the twisted, turning depths of your own psyche." She looked down each corridor in turn, then pointed to the left. "Let's go this way!"

The ensign followed along a step or two behind Deanna. She eyed the walls of the corridor dubiously. "What exactly are we looking for?"

"How should I know?" Deanna quipped. "It's your subconscious." She broke into a giggle. "Sorry, just a little psychotherapist humor. Now then, your fundamental problem is that your insecurities in the real world are holding you back from achieving your full potential. You want to succeed, and impress your peers, but you are afraid that you will fail and that they will reject and ridicule you instead. Does that sound about right?"

Burnham bit her lower lip as memories of childhood fears welled up in her thoughts. Fear of failure had held her back from achieving her full potential throughout her school days, and even when she was at Starfleet Academy. "Umm... yes."

Deanna nodded and carried on. "Right. So you created a holographic universe in which everyone already knows how talented and awesome you are, and thinks you are the greatest thing since sliced bread." She paused, frowning. "Isn't it funny how old sayings persist? We don't even slice bread anymore. We can order it sliced straight from the replicator - we can even order the replicator to give us buttered toast, without having to lift a finger. People of the present really have no clue how privileged they are..."

Michael cleared her throat. "Erm... can we get back to my problem?"

"Oh, right!" Deanna paused at another intersection, looked around, and took the passage on the right. "You created an alternate self that occupies that fantasy universe - a false ego that enjoys all the adulation you crave in the real world. Yet that false ego is preventing you from achieving validation from the real people in your life. So we have to kill it."

"Kill it?" Burnham squeaked.

The walls of the labyrinth suddenly flickered, revealing the walls of the holodeck in patches. The environment stabilized after a few seconds.

Deanna came to a halt and frowned. "Computer, is there a problem?"

"System resources are being diverted to enhance the level 1 diagnostic," the computer replied.

"I see. Do we have enough 'system resources' to keep the program running?"

"Your command level override has prioritized system resources for this holodeck. That override will ensure that sufficient resources remain available to keep the program running at the expense of other tasks in the queue."

"Alright, then. Carry on!" Deanna resumed walking. "Where were we? Oh, right; we have to kill that false ego! Figuratively speaking, that is. I am not going to ask you to murder a mirror version of yourself, if that's what you were thinking! To kill the false ego, you need to prove to yourself that you don't need it."

They reached a dead end. An archaic sword and shield were propped up against the base of a statue. They looked to be of the same classical era as the architecture.

"Here we are," Deanna pronounced. She pointed to the weapons. "Go ahead; arm yourself, Michael."

The ensign hesitantly approached the sword and shield. She picked up the sword and gripped the hilt tightly. She hefted the weapon. It was heavy, and the blade looked very sharp. Next, she picked up the shield. Curiously, the inner surface of the shield was mirrored.

Michael returned to Deanna's side. "What am I supposed to do with these?"

"You must use them to confront a monster and defeat it," Deanna replied. "Or at least try to. It doesn't matter whether or not you succeed in this first session. The point is that you face a problem on your own, without using the false ego as a crutch."

Burnham licked her lips and looked around nervously. "Okay. Umm... where do I find this monster?"

"The monsster is ssstanding right bessside you," Deanna replied, her voice taking on a sinister lisp.

The shield was between Michael and Deanna. She peered below the rim of the shield. Where she expected to see Deanna's feet, she instead saw a massive, serpentine body. She tensed, tightening her grip on the sword.

"I'll give you a hint," Deanna continued. "Sssome problems are bessst confronted indirectly..."

* * *

"I really don't understand how this could have happened," Deanna fretted. "I mean... patients quite often fail this first encounter. The clever ones figure out that they need to use the mirror, and the ones that don't figure it out, well, they end up turned to stone... but they always turn back when the program ends..."

"Hmm... well, she was definitely turned to stone," the lieutenant from Engineering pronounced. "All my tricorder detects is solid rock."

Deanna bit her lower lip. "Aren't the holodeck safeties supposed to prevent things like this from happening?"

The lieutenant snapped the tricorder closed. "Ordinarily, yes. Unfortunately, the computer core was under attack by invasive Romulan malware. That's why we were running the level 1 diagnostic. When you overrode the restriction on the holodeck, it must have compromised the safeties."

"Oh... umm... can we change her back?"

The engineer scratched her head. "Honestly, I have no idea. I'm afraid that's above my pay grade."

Deanna nodded soberly, then shrugged. She smiled. "Isn't it funny how old sayings persist? We don't even use money any more, so technically, you don't have a pay grade..."