Now Working on... The Deal!
Added 2015-04-22 03:52:10 +0000 UTCWhen a teenage malcontent is targeted by a corrupt principal, he makes a deal with two nerdy classmates. He protects them from bullies, they help him pass his classes. But soon his problems expand from staying in school to solving the mysterious disappearances that plague Glenridge. Can a trio of outcasts discover the truth before they vanish into the night?
Comments
The title is unique, but honestly I'm not the best to source for opinion for a title for an English Novel. But I think in general you have to consider how long the story is going to be, and if there is a need to split into volumes, what would be more appropriate? As an example, consider Dresden Files as an example? Rhiyen is the name and not the family name, yes? So it will focus on Rhiyen, which is appropriate and the title is 'quirky' enough in that it isn't something common? At least I never met any titles who named their novels in that fashion? Right, also consider your audience, if it's young adult it should be more or less fine, but as an all age thing, it will be a hard sell, but that's my opinion. For the summary, is the 'nerdy' part really necessary? it feels like it's stereotyping, but the same goes for the 'teenage malcontent' part, right? how about adding 'just' to from staying in school to stress how unexpected the situation is to him? Glenridge isn't really defined here, but it might be just me who like more information. I mean we can assume it is a place or a school, but it really shows the context of the scope of the situation? of course, this is a summary, so giving more information might not be the best thing to do? Actually, considering you put 'outcast' at the last part, that would ractify why you put 'nerdy' there, so I guess you considered that part as well. The summary brings about a feeling of: Misfits/Underdogs against something that they can't possibly match, and of course going over their heads. Which is an okay premise, but ties nothing to the title of Rhiyen's Deal to me. I hope that this helped you.
wrathie
2015-04-25 04:04:16 +0000 UTCRhiyen is a distinctive name, memorable, and it adds an edge and a layer of curiosity to "Deal". Also, the fact his/her name is on the front, it makes me feel like this is an important character -- important enough that the author thinks I should care about them just seeing them on the cover. So I subconsciously assume this character is important. It also lets me ask my friends if they've read "Rhiyen's Deal", much less confusing than "the deal", so it's better for communication. I think it's a lot stronger.
Zanya Nova
2015-04-23 22:04:43 +0000 UTCHmmm... been that way for a while now. Maybe if it ever get's published I'll have to change it to be more distinctive... Rhiyen's Deal?
Matthew Schocke
2015-04-23 10:18:41 +0000 UTC
