What do you think about the current story?
Added 2024-03-20 12:07:07 +0000 UTCIt doesn't seem like you guys are too interested. I also threw out a few chapters on QQ and the response was kinda lukewarm there as well. Personally, I think it's fine, but while I do write for myself, I also want other people to read and enjoy it.
Comments
It's fine so far
michael mcalister
2024-03-22 22:24:00 +0000 UTCi like it so far
mervin reyes
2024-03-20 22:59:44 +0000 UTCNot loving the demon and the way they treat the MC but I assumed that was gonna change as the story progressed.
Turnwise
2024-03-20 20:42:56 +0000 UTCReread for a second time, my impression so far is that while I don't hate it or anything, I don't find it compelling yet either. I mostly am waiting for more chapters to see what the story will actually be like and what it will be about once he stops getting whammied evey couple thousand words and that main plot gets rolling. The story so far feels pretty chaotic with three entirely seperate life and death struggles in three entirely different places all mostly unrelated to each other. It might help if we got some sort of grounding and structure before we are thrown off the deep end unless you are purposefully aiming to make the story feel very chaotic. So like I said before, I need to see more before I know whether or not it is a story I would be interested in because I don't actually know what it is about yet. My main critque would be that the first chapter isn't that good for the intro to the story. If it is plot important for later stuff, it could be better used as a flashback later or the events just be eluded to or something similar. The first couple chapters should be an appetizer for what the reader is going to get out of the story tonally and narratively, but so far all we've seen is setup and the character floundering to get his bearings.
David Hedges
2024-03-20 13:42:19 +0000 UTCWell so far it doesn't seem like the MC has actually done that much yet. It has been pretty much a series of events of him getting whammied over and over again in short succession. I'm not saying it ruins the story because the MC is 'losing', but it does mean it felt like the story hadn't actually started up with the plot yet. It's like that part of Eragon before he finds the dragon egg. The first chapter felt especially weak to me as it didn't grip me and make me invested into the story. It felt a lot like one of those treading water 'The ROB explains the isekai situation' intro chapters, except it wasn't as cliche as that even if it felt similar. Maybe it left hooks that come up later, but that doesn't change the fact it wasn't especially gripping to me to make me want to find out more. I was originally waiting to see about 7 or 8 chapters before I started reading it, because I saw you started rewriting it a time or two, but I'll give you my thoughts now. I think I am gonna reread the 3 chapters a second time and force myself to pay more attention. If I have anything else to say after that I'll post a reply to this comment.
David Hedges
2024-03-20 13:27:36 +0000 UTCI happen to like the Heroes of the Nexus, and the Villian reborn one (Even if the later was cancelled)
Jordan Arnold
2024-03-20 12:14:12 +0000 UTC
