Jaune's Pineapple Jam Chapter 29 First Part

Friends.

People whom one person knows and shares a mutual bond of affection without delving into sexual or familial relationships.

For people such as Lisa Lavender, her friends may have a different kind of definition.

“I saw the news conference last night. You sure made the poor Captain sweat.” One of her ‘friends’ informs her from across the cafe table they are currently occupying.

Right now there are only the two of them sitting here, but she knows wherever this particular ‘friend’ of hers is, his own partner isn’t that far behind. His partner who just so happens to be Lisa’s very own junior from that same Preparatory Academy years ago.

“Cut the crap, Rom-”

“Shhh! It’s Romeo. Romeo Candlewick when I’m out in daylight.”

“I was gonna say Romeo, you ass.” Lisa replies to her friend flatly with a deadpan stare.

Romeo Candlewick just smiles cheekily back at Lisa. Romeo Candlewick, Lisa’s ‘friend’ who currently has his orange hair styled into messy curls while weaning a green sweater and dark pants.

Her friend’s smile gives him a boyish charm and if Lisa didn’t know any better she might have called him cute. But Lisa Lavender knows better. Beneath that smile lies a ruthless but charming rogue ready to terrorize Vale with his own brand of crime once again. Beneath that smile lies Roman Torchwick.

Yes, that’s right. Roman Torchwick is currently having a nice cup of coffee in broad daylight in the middle of Vale. Why, you ask? To meet a friend, of course! In the middle of a slightly busy cafe in Vale, a criminal and a journalist take a sip of coffee.

“As I was saying, cut the crap, Romeo. You’re the one who gave me the info about Beacon students interfering with you at the docks two nights ago. Now tell me, what are you planning now?”

“Nope, nah-ah. Our…relationship doesn’t work that way.” Roman wags a finger at her with a smirk.

“Tsk, one day Romeo. One day I’ll get you to slip up. and I’ll finally be the one to tip you to the police.” Lisa scowls back but they both know it is an empty threat.

Lisa Lavender would love to have Roman Torchwick run around Vale so she has a constant supply of sensational news.

“Ha! Keep dreaming, in the meanwhile you might want to focus on something else.” Roman leans forward, turning from a languid pose to a more serious one.

And speaking of sensational news, it seems her friend finally has enough of small talk. Lisa leans forward as well.

“Oh, is there a reason why we aren’t doing this somewhere more…..private?” Lisa asks softly with half-lidded eyes.

“Sorry, baby. But I’m a busy man these days.” Roman replies with a hint of regret in his voice.

“Oh, so there is a plan. Good to know. You’re slipping, Romeo.” Just like that, Lisa drops her flirty act and takes note of Roman’s blunder with a smirk of her own.

It isn’t exactly what she wanted. No exact details like time and place but at least she knows to be prepared to pick up the next big scoop.

“Consider that my apology for not being able to attend our….sessions.” Roman rolls his eyes good-naturedly, sending a charming wink her way as he leans back before continuing. “Besides, don’t you want to hear about the water leak from my…coworker’s place?”

Coworkers, not partners so it couldn’t be Neopolitan. The White Fang perhaps…or maybe the Xiong clan? No, if it was the Xiong’s then Roman would’ve called them old friends. He’s talking about the White Fang.

“I’m interested.” Lisa replies, preparing to take notes.

“Word from their….workplace is that it might not just be one leak. They plan to find those leaks and plug them.”

Leaks. Most likely defectors, spies, or just loose lips from their organization. Plug them, there’s going to be murders. Multiple murders.

More murders means more sensational news, but that isn’t the only effect these murders will bring.

With the recent disturbance in Vale and increasing Dust heists, adding murders will just bring public trust on the police down lower.

This is bigger than Roman’s usual crimes. Something’s up. Why would he work with the White Fang? Why would he want to lower the Police Department’s reputation? Even last night’s info on Beacon students fighting him off last Sunday was designed to embarrass the police.

Lisa thinks grimly, but before she could think even deeper and formulate her own predictions, Roman interrupts her thoughts.

“They’ve asked me for help.” Roman says with a bit more seriousness in his voice.

“....Are you? Are you going to help them?” Lisa asks.

She knows that Roman is a criminal. There’s ruthlessness in him but she also knows that he never went out of his way to go on a murder spree.

“....No.” Roman answers after a long pause.

Sure, Roman Torchwick has hurt a lot of people, he most likely even killed some of his own competitors. But he has always tried to keep civilian casualties zero or at the minimum even on his heists. Doing the opposite would probably get the Unofficial Sheriff of Beacon, Glynda Goodwitch, to come down her mountain and beat his ass.

That’s also probably why he doesn’t jump to help his new coworkers. If he gets tied to murders, he’s going to be Public Enemy Number One and Beacon would send their best to snuff little Torchwick’s fire out.

After all, there’s a very big difference in threat levels between a Master Thief and a Master Thief that also commits murders.

“So, what are you gonna do now?” Lisa continues, trying to pull out more information from Roman.

“Heh, I know what you’re trying to do, but like I said earlier. I’m already a busy man, I’ve got no time to help them plug some leaks. In fact, I might just actually make a leak of my own just to fuck with them.” Roman replies with a smirk.

He’s going to let one free. Why? To weaken the White Fang, his own coworkers?

“Oh? Trouble in the office?” Lisa asks with a raised eyebrow, taking note of internal conflict between the White Fang and Roman Torchwick.

“It’s just a prank, you know.” Roman answers with a false smile.

“Sure, just a prank.” She responds in a flat voice.

“Anyways, that’s all I have for now. The boss is gonna get cranky if I don’t get this next delivery. I might just get fired.” Roman finishes casually as he stretches his back before standing up to leave.

Boss? He’s working for someone now and it doesn’t sound like he enjoys it. Cranky enough that might get him fired? Whoever this boss is, he or she is strong enough to intimidate Roman Torchwick.

Lisa thinks to herself as she stands as well, moving to give him a hug. She sees Roman pause for a moment before letting her get close to him.

“Be careful, Roman.” She whispers to him as she wraps her arms loosely behind him, leaning her head on his shoulders.

“Oh? Worried about me?” She hears him reply lightly, wrapping his own hands behind her.

Moving back to break the contact, she gives him a flirty smile before leaning in for a quick peck on the cheek.

Roman freezes a bit, surprised at the sudden contact before Lisa sees a light blush slowly overtake his features. They’ve had more intimate moments but these types of light and affectionate acts between them are very very rare.

Heh, a ruthless charismatic criminal but helpless against the ladies. I still got it.

“Of course I am. I worry about you, you know.” She replies, causing Roman to gasp lightly at her confession. Smirking at his reaction, Lisa continues. “After all, I still need you to make more sensational news.”

Roman’s surprised expression suddenly falls into a deadpan stare at that.

“Right, forgot you were a bloodthirsty journalist for a moment back there. Anyways, I have to go. See you next time Lisa, thanks for the chat.” Roman waves at her as he turns around to leave by the door.

Laughing lightly at getting one over Roman Torchwick, she moves to sit back down to organize her notes and drink her remaining coffee.

She could confidently say that this has been a productive chat for her. With friends like these on the other side, Lisa has no shortages of sensational news and valuable information.

She’s surprised when a voice interrupts her before she even manages to put the cup to her lips.

“Excuse me, Ma’am. Here is the cake you ordered.” A waiter states as he brings a small but gaudy vanilla lavender cake to her table.

“Cake? But I didn’t order any cake.” She replies with furrowed brows.

“Uhh, but you just did Ma’am. You walked by the cashier earlier to order.” The waiter blinks back at her, not knowing what to do.

Before Lisa could even reply, a knock on the window interrupts their conversation. Turning to the sudden sound, she sees Roman Torchwick in disguise grinning at her with a small green-eyed, black-haired woman waving at her. The woman’s eyes flashes pink and brown for a moment, letting her know her true identity and who really ordered the cake.

Smiling at the two’s kindness at her, she waves back with her free hand. Perhaps she should give them more credit and elevate them from informants to real friends.

The two outside look at each for a moment before laughing uncontrollably. Frowning at their response, Lisa is taken out of her thoughts when the waiter asks for her attention.

“That would be 400 Lien, Ma’am” The waiter states nervously as one of her eyes twitches. Looks like Neopolitan got the most expensive cake for her.

Sighing to herself, she moves to pay for the cake only to notice something too late. Neo is holding a similar cake inside a box…..with Roman holding her own wallet beside her.

Her cup cracks as her grip tightens and a tick forms on her forehead.

“How much?” She asks in a low voice.

“1000 Lien, Ma’am.” The waiter replies with a gulp.

Fuck! They got the better cake!

She takes it all back, with friends like these she’s liable to lose all her money!

—--

Friends.

Comrades that you could trust to guard your back.

For an immortal such as he, Ozpin has found innumerable friends throughout the centuries he has been alive.

A more jaded man might have thought that an immortal such as him would become bored and begin from seeing people as friends into pawns.

That jaded man couldn’t be more wrong.

Ozpin has found that friends have helped make this unbearable eternal life a bit more bearable. Each of them is unique in their own way and always surprises him no matter the odds.

Each trait, each personality, and each surprise they have has given him friends worth lifetimes. He has held on dearly to those friends in each life he has lived for he feels they are his only tether left other than his mission preventing him from going insane.

Now, one such friend has surprised him yet again.

“Hello there.” A voice greets him as he enters his office.

“General Ironwood.” Ozpin greets back the man who has the gall to sit at his own chair.

Silence fills the room, tension building up as the two men size each other up only to be broken by simultaneous guffaws.

“Ozpin! It’s so good to see you. It’s been so long!” James Ironwood, General of Atlas yells out genially, standing up to meet Ozpin halfway.

“Well this is a surprise, I never expected you of all people would try to sneak into my school just to sit at my own office table while I teach a class to graduating students.” Ozpin laughs jokingly as he grabs the man’s hand in front of him for a friendly handshake.

“What do you mean try? I succeeded, you know?” James scoffs goodnaturedly at his very old friend.

“That’s what you think. I knew you were in Beacon the moment some of my sensors started showing routine readings instead of the sporadic activity my students are known for.” Ozpin grins victoriously at his very young friend, compared to him at least.

“Damn, you really can’t account for chaos. You didn’t think it was an enemy trying to sneak in?”

“I prepared for that eventuality just in case. Amber’s vault is sealed and no one is going to get there without using my elevator which will send me an alert whenever it is set to go down to the vaults.”

“That doesn’t explain how you knew it was me though?”

“I knew you were in Vale since the debacle at the docks. Your….asset gave you away. Only one Kingdom has the technology and resources to develop one such as her. And it was only a matter of time before you contacted me yourself.”

“Penny….At least it's good to know you’re taking your security seriously.” James sighs dejectedly.

“Cheer up, good friend. At least you know you still have it in you to go do stealth missions.” Ozpin pats his back comfortingly with a cheery smile on his face.

“Heh, did you know I tried to hang from the ceilings so I could drop down and surprise you? I couldn’t but if only I was five years younger I definitely would’ve.” James replies good-naturedly, looking at the moving gears above them.

Finally taking a seat on his office chair, Ozpin motions James to sit across from him as he brings out two mugs.

“So what brings you to Vale this early? The Festival is still months away.” Ozpin asks as he begins to take a more serious demeanor, pouring coffee out from one of his hidden tumblers.

“Can’t I visit an old friend while surveying the Academy my own students would attend for a semester?” James still replies cheerily as he takes the now coffee-filled mug from Ozpin.

“Really? Headmasters don’t typically travel with their students for the Vytal Festival. Doubly so for you who is also running your own Kingdom’s military. You could have sent Winter Schnee for that task.” Ozpin responds with a raised brow as he clinks his mug with Ironwood’s.

“...You’re right….The Vale Council has asked me to be in charge of the security for this Vytal Festival.” James answers, adding a dark mixture from his own canteen to his mug.

“Have they now? Regardless, it is still too early, we’re only in the second month of the year.”

“They plan to move up the Tournament.”

That actually causes Ozpin to pause from enjoying his coffee.

“When?” Ozpin asks worriedly, move the events too soon and Vale would not be able to prepare adequately.

“Instead of the Tournament happening during the winter season, it would be moved up to the fall season.” Ironwood reassures him with a smile after a sip from his now dark coffee.

While the new schedule is earlier than the first agreed upon winter schedule, it’s not too early that they wouldn’t be able to adjust.

“Hmmm, the Council means to use the Tournament to stimulate the economy.” Ozpin smiles contentedly, thinking of a possible reason for the Council’s actions.

“Correct, with winter directly after the festival, they hope that the people who would come to visit would stay in Vale for the rest of the year.” James confirms, nodding in agreement.

“But why you though? No offense James but surely we here in Vale could have handled the security.”

“Come now Ozpin, you would surely be busy handling the festival itself and Glynda would be busy dealing with the students. With students from the other academies already arriving I could already see you being strained. My men would be able to help lessen the burden for all of you once they get here.”

“Your men?” Ozpin asks, pausing from taking a sip of his coffee.

“Ah…Well….Winter is on her way with the rest of the army.” James speaks slowly.

“Army?!” Ozpin slams his cup down harshly, spilling some of his coffee.

“Please Ozpin, no need to waste good coffee.” James replies placatingly.

“How many?” Ozpin asks with a serious tone.

“Five Ariships, a brigade of soldiers, and another three brigades made up of Atlesian Knights.” General Ironwood counts politely.

“James! We are in a time of peace, bringing such a force would send the wrong impression.”

“I’m just concerned about everyone’s safety.”

“I’m already concerned about your incoming army.”

“Well, concern is what is bringing them here. You know why I am doing this. You saw Qrow's warning the same as me. If what he says is true-”

“If what he says is true, then we will handle it tactfully. It is the Vytal Festival. A time to celebrate peace and unity. I suggest that you not scare people by transporting thousands of soldiers across the continent.”

“I’m just being cautious, Ozpin. It's better for us to be over prepared than under prepared after all.”

“As am I. Which is why we will continue to train the best Huntsmen and Huntresses we can.”

“Believe me, I am. But ask yourself this: Do you honestly believe your children can win a war?”

“I hope they never have to.”

“Then do you believe you can trust them?”

“What are you saying, James?”

“You know it’s really curious Ozpin. Penny met a number of your students last weekend. As a….concerned guardian, it is my responsibility to at least do a background check of her new friends. Do you want to know what I found, Ozpin?”

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

“I found two suspicious people. One of them was a member of the White Fang and the other….a person with fake transcripts.”

“Ms. Belladonna and Mr. Arc, yes I am familiar with them.”

“Then why Ozpin, why let them be so close. I could perhaps understand Blake Belladonna as a defector of the White Fang, but Jaune Arc? He has no real records of training or combat school. Why let him in at all?”

Talk about surprises. This is what he gets everytime he reminisces about the types of friends he makes.

Sighing to himself, Ozpin prepares to explain and show how Mr. Arc’s Semblance could help while thinking of how to bullshit James into believing he planned for this all along. His thoughts are interrupted when his elevator announces another visitor.

“Ozpin! We have a probl-! James?!” Glynda comes barreling out of the elevator doors only to pause at the sight that greets her.

James rapidly stands up and pats down any creases he might have had on his military uniform.

“H-Hello Glynda. It’s been a long time.” General James Ironwood tries to give her his best winning smile only for him to be brushed off.

“Nevermind that! We have a big problem! It’s a disaster!” Glynda Goodwitch shouts, dragging the both of them back into the elevator with a quick and forceful use of her Semblance.

As he is dragged off of his table, Ozpin has one distressing thought in mind as he sees his coffee spill all over his table.

What kind of disaster could cause Glynda to panic like this?

—------

Friends.

The brothers by choice you’ve made along the way. Brothers who are ready to ride or die with you. Such is the case in the situation they have landed themselves upon.

“Neptune! Look out!”

Thud! Thud! Thud!

Sun Wukong pushes him away, taking the hits that were meant for him. Neptune sees his body stagger from the projectiles that hit him before eventually falling backwards.

Red covers Sun’s chest with the color even reaching his neck. With tears in his eyes, Neptune kneels beside his fallen brother and holds his hand.

“SUN?! SUN! HANG ON, BROTHER!” He screams with anguish in his voice.

A cough from his brother by choice pierces through his despair.

“G-Go on without me…..R-Run Neptune, run.” Sun says in a whisper before finally closing his eyes.

Time slows to a crawl as Neptune slowly realizes how serious the situation they have landed themselves in. Hell on Remnant, and the devil? A red-haired beauty who even now seeks to deceive you with innocence.

“I’M SORRY” The she-devil shouts as if in slow motion from Neptune’s perspective. False apologies from the one who has slain his dear brother just seconds ago.

Picking up a round object that has rolled to his feet, Neptune raises it up high. An object such as this has proven very effective in this kind of battlefield.

As Neptune Vasilias takes aim to avenge his fallen brother, he is interrupted by a shout from another direction.

“LOOK OUT!” Another voice, this time coming from a blonde male causes him to turn just in time to see red cover Neptune’s whole face.

Reeling from the sudden shock of the hit, Neptune’s head snaps back and he falls to the floor in a disgraceful heap.

“I’M SORRY!” He hears from his assailant as the blonde runs past him and ducks together with his red-headed partner under a table.

He hears shouts as he lays powerless beside his brother.

“FOR THE GLORY OF ATLAS!” A green-eyed ginger shouts as she annihilates any opposition via judicious use of any kitchen ingredient she could get a hold off.

Yells and warcries answer back from every angle imaginable.

“BEACON STANDS TRIUMPHANT!”

“SHADE COVERS ALL!”

“JNPR NUMBER ONE!”

And there lies Sun Wukong and Neptune Vasilias, the only representatives from Haven, covered in tomatoes and the first casualties of Remnant’s first ever Great Food War fought in the middle of Beacon’s cafeteria.

“Sooo, welcome to Beacon.”

“Shut up, Sun.”

—-------------------------

Friends.

For the longest time, Nora Valkyrie could count having only one friend who has stuck with her through thick and thin. Her own best friend, Lie Ren.

Recently though she has added more than one friend to her very short list. First is Pyrrha Nikos, her own sister from another. Then there’s Jaune Arc, their Fearless Leader who completes the team.

Other than those two, there’s even a whole team willing to hang around with them. Their very own sister team, Team RWBY.

What started as just one friend has now grown into many many more than just one. Gladness fills Nora’s heart as she skips to breakfast with Fearless Leader after their very own workout session.

She takes a pause and tilts her head when she sees Team RWBY already sitting at The Table with Ren and Pyr-Pyr. Team RWBY sitting with them isn’t that strange, it’s how they’re currently acting that is.

She sees Team RWBY awkwardly looking at each other and nudging a stiff Weiss Schnee as they all lay eyes on Fearless Leader.

Whatever it is, Nora could already feel that the atmosphere is tense as all eyes slowly begin to turn towards them. She could already see unfamiliar faces that are probably from different schools turning to study their potential competition as Weiss Schnee shakily starts to stand.

Nora being Nora, she decides to…remove the tension so to speak. How, you ask? By blowing things up that the tension gets buried in the confusion of chaos of course.

In this case, she does this by flipping a nearby Cardin’s tray and spraying his soup all over his face before shouting a declaration that all teens have an ingrained awareness of.

“FOOD FIGHT!” Chaos starts around them but Nora could still see the people near THE TABLE backing away. She can’t have that of course, so she adds another provocative cry.

“TEAM JNPR NUMBER 1!”

“Nora! What are you doing?!” Fearless leader screams as he ducks under flying utensils and hardened bread.

“Declaring we’re the champions of course!”

“Oh that’s it! Come here, you bi-oof!” Cardin starts only to be interrupted when Ren throws apples at his face.

“Thanks Renny!” She shouts to which Ren just nods as he grabs hardened leeks and brandishes them like daggers.

The chaos is now spreading faster but it needs more oomph in Nora’s opinion, so she shouts one last declaration as she throws a pudding at Yang’s hair.

“WE’RE JNPR AND WE’RE GONNA BEAT YOUR ASSES! Beacon, Atlas, Shade, Haven. It doesn’t matter where you’re from! JNPR reigns supreme and I’m Queen of the CASTLE!”

Just like that, Nora Valkyrie has started Remnant’s first war since the Treaty of Vytal. The battle currently happening has representatives from all corners of the world. Even the Vytal Tournament doesn’t have free-for-alls like this. This could just be the largest battle they will ever fight, even counting the festival. For some strange reason, she feels that she should call this Ragnarok.