Reborn as an Elven Mother - Chapter 4

Commissioned by Azena

When Cameron, a relentless workaholic, falls into an exhausted sleep one night, he wakes up in the body of an Elven maiden in a strange fantasy realm. Suddenly thrust into a life he doesn’t remember, he must learn how to be a mother while not letting on that he's not who he appears to be.

~

Chapter 4

“Is that the city?” Dellah breathed, “It’s huge!”

Her new braids swayed in the sea breeze as the cart moved through the massive stone walls surrounding the city. In the bay below there were hundreds of ships, everything from tiny fishing vessels to massive galleons. The streets were wide and packed with people; all manner of carts and wagons rolled past piled high with goods, and the buildings felt as impressive as the skyscrapers I’d lived amongst in the other world. 

I watched the people pass us by, I felt like I saw more people in a minute than I had in my entire time in this world. I saw races I couldn’t name and creatures that didn’t look like any animal I had ever seen. The idea of finding one man amongst all this was suddenly a lot more daunting. 

Nia pulled up outside a bustling market and gave us a nod before unstacking her goods. This was as far as we’d paid to come, and I felt suddenly overwhelmed. Dellah wandered closer to a fruit stall, and I instantly snatched up her hand. 

“Don’t go too far. I don’t want to lose you in the crowd.”

“Are you going to be alright?” Nia hissed. “The city can be a lot to handle the firsssst time.”

I swallowed.

“Where should we go to find a wizard? I need to find Dellah’s father, all I have is a name, Lewin?”

Nia blinked in surprise and shook her head in disbelief.

“That’sss all?”

I blushed, it felt silly, coming all this way with only that to go on. I didn't even know if the man was here! It just seemed like the best place to start. 

“Try the adventuring guild, or perhapsssss the magical academy in the upper city,” Nia suggested. 

She paused for a moment, looking at us with sympathy. 

“If you cannot find lodging, I will be here for a few dayssss. You are welcome.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully. “But I am sure we will manage, won’t we, Dellah?”

I turned and found my hand empty. Panic seized my chest, and I glanced around frantically. How had she gotten away, how did I not feel her fingers slip through mine? 

“Dellah? Dellah!! Answer me!”

I scanned every face, looking for those distinctive blue eyes. It felt like something was squeezing my heart hard enough to crush it, and yet the beat in my ears was as loud as a war drum. What if somebody had grabbed her? What if she’d fallen and knocked herself out? What if-?

“Mama, look! This fruit is purple! Can we buy some?”

Just like that, she appeared from behind a shopper’s back, grinning and holding up something that looked like a cross between an apple and an eggplant. I let out a shaky breath and stumbled forward, pulling her in close.

“Don’t do that! I said not to wander, didn't I?”

“I was only a few steps away.”

“And that was far enough for me to lose you in the crowd. I mean it Dellah, hold my hand and don’t let go!”

Her bottom lip wobbled, and I sighed.

“Sorry, you just scared Mama, okay?”

“Okay…sorry, mama.”

“Let’s get started,” I said, trying to shake off the nerves. “We’ll find a tavern and pay for rooms, then…we'll find your Papa. Somehow.”

"Don't worry, Mama. We’ll find him," said Dellah, her voice as bright as ever, though her small face was scrunched in worry. 

I swallowed hard, offering her the best smile I could muster. No matter how overwhelming the city felt, I had to be strong for her. We began to pound the pavement, asking at every library and magic shop we passed. The crowds pressed in around us, a sea of people who had no care for the small, lost mother and daughter wandering the streets in search of a person that might not be here. 

We passed through the adventurer's guild, the smell of iron and sweat thick in the air, only to be met with nothing but blank stares from hardened warriors who had no interest in our questions. They didn't even hire wizards often, I swore I could hear them chuckling as we left. 

By the time the sun dipped below the horizon on the third day, my patience was wearing thin, and I could see the worry creeping into Dellah’s eyes as we made our way back to the tavern that was slowly draining our savings. There was more competition here; my stories earned coin, but not enough to keep us here indefinitely. A niggling doubt began to chip away at me. What if Sybil had lied? What if Dellah’s father was somebody else entirely, and she sent me on a wild goose chase out of spite? It wasn't an idea I wanted to entertain. 

“What if we don’t find him, Mama? Do we go home?”

I stopped in my tracks, kneeling down to meet her gaze. I smiled, feeling a pang in my chest. The weight of responsibility sat heavily on my shoulders, but her trust was something I couldn’t afford to break.

"We’ll find him, Dellah," I said, my voice a little too firm. I wasn’t lying. Not really. We had to find him. He was our last hope. "You trust me, right?"

To my horror, she hesitated. 

“Dellah? You trust me, don't you?”

My voice broke as she looked at the ground. 

“You’re not my mama, are you?”

I froze, and something inside me shattered. She was meeting my gaze now, and her eyes were so full of hope. I could practically hear her begging silently for me to deny it. To lie. 

“I…”

“Are you a demon?” She whispered.

“No! No, Dellah I’m just…a person. I don’t know how I ended up here in your mother’s body, but however it happened, I am glad.”

“You are?”

“Yes, because even if it took me a while…I love you, Dellah. I love you like my own, and I am doing everything I can to find your father so you can have a real family.”

“So…my Mama…”

“I think she died, sweetheart,” I whispered. “Before I woke up in this body, I think I died too. I think your mother and I passed each other in between, and instead of moving on, I ended up in her body, in her life.”

“That’s why you want to find my father, isn’t it? So you can leave and not feel guilty.”

“That…was the plan,” I admit. “Originally.”

“And now?”

I took a deep breath and let it out.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I never expected to like being a mother. And I don’t know if I can go back. I do know one thing, though, I am not leaving you, not until I know you’re safe and sound. Once we find your father…then if you want me to go, I will.”

I desperately wanted her to tell me she didn’t. That she wanted me to stay forever and that it didn’t matter, but she didn’t say anything. Just shrugged and turned to her bed, crawling under the covers. I wanted to lay down next to her like we had on the road and stroke her hair to help her fall asleep. I thought back to the first day we got here, at my terror at losing her. I could only hope this revelation didn't mean she was gone for good in another way. 

~

 I pressed a finger to the coins sitting on the table. I had enough for three more days at this inn. Two weeks had passed since we arrived here, a week since Dellah discovered the truth about me. Ever since, she had been quiet, spending most of her time helping me in the search and practising magic. She didn’t come to my shows anymore, and I felt her absence in the crowd. Maybe that was why I wasn’t earning as much lately. It was hard to be enthusiastic, knowing my daughter might hate me. 

Dellah sat cross-legged on the bed, staring at the flower on her palm she was making open and close with a bored expression on her face. I was about to suggest we go get some dinner when somebody knocked at the door. 

“Come in?”

The door pushed open, and a man stepped inside. His ears had slight points, but they were rounder than my own. A half-elf. He had sharp blue eyes behind silver glasses and auburn hair arranged in a neat warrior topknot but wore long, flowing robes of red. He looked nervous as he closed the door, but he smiled when he laid eyes on me. 

“Hello, Ada.”

My heart skipped a beat, could it be…?”

“Lewin?”

“I hope I haven’t changed that much.”

“She doesn’t remember you,” Dellah whispered, sliding off the bed. “Are you…my papa?”

“Well, that depends. I think your mother has to confirm that. Or at least, I assumed she would. What’s this about forgetting me?”

His tone was joking and light, but I could see the concern in his eyes. His forehead crinkled in an oddly familiar way; then I realised it was the same way Dellah looked when she was worried. His eyes were slightly darker, but they also reminded me of Dellah. This had to be it, her father. 

“I heard rumours. I just got back to town after a quest, and a little bird told me a woman and a child were looking for me.”

“Which bird?” I asked, and Deneel chuckled and gave a sharp whistle.

A small sparrow shot through the window and perched itself on his shoulder, preening a little as he stroked its head. 

“This one, a real gossip he is.”

“You can talk to birds!?” Dellah cried in wonder.

“In a manner of speaking, here, come say hello.”

He knelt down, and Dellah ran to his side. I felt my heart flutter in my chest as he smiled at our girl. The man had an air about him, like he was made to be a father. Why had Ada never come to find him before? After a while, I noticed Lewin’s gaze drifting to me as he spoke with Dellah, there was something about those eyes that made butterflies dance in my stomach. 

“Dellah, why don’t you go downstairs and order us some dinner. Your mother and I need to have a talk.”

She looked between us and pouted.

“Dellah.” I said firmly with a smile. “Come on.”

“Fiiiiiiine.”

Lewin chuckled as she went. 

“I sense some fire under that sweet exterior.”

“She’s a smart girl, talented too, she can cast small spells already.”

“Really, I will have to teach her, if magic is cultivated young there is no limit to what a person can do.”  

“Mmmm….”

Silence fell over us and Lewin rubbed at the back of his neck awkwardly. Neither of us knew where to start.

“If I’d known you were with child, I would have come back.” He said finally. “I know we only knew each other for a few days, but I would have done right by you. I…I’m sorry they cut your hair. I didn't think having a child out of wedlock was such a big deal for wood elves.”

I believed him; there was something sincere in his voice and face, and those butterflies fluttered again. He was a stranger, but I could tell Lewin was a good man. Best to rip the bandaid off now. 

“Maybe it is. I don’t know. I’m not really Ada.”

Lewin blinked in shock, and I held up a hand. 

“Here, let me explain. It’s a long story.”

We sat on the bed, and I went through everything: my old life, how I got here, passing the spirit of the real Ada as she passed on, taking her place and everything that came after. I kept expecting Lewin to interrupt or to stand up and demand I stop joking, but he didn’t. He sat at my side and listened attentively. I didn't even realise one of his hands was resting on my thigh until halfway through, and for some reason, I didn’t remove it. When I was finally finished Lewin said something I never could have expected.

“I’d heard rumours about this sort of thing happening, but I didn’t think it could be true.”

“What?!”
 “People waking up, claiming to be a person from another world. It’s rare, most backwaters call it possession but, uh, I mean, not that your village is a backwater but um….”

“No, it was. Continue.”

“Well, yes, it’s a thing some of the higher-ranking wizards at the academy are researching.”

“Not you, though.”

“No, not me. But Maybe I could get an audience with them. It will take some time, though.”

“That’s alright,” I said, thinking of Dellah. “I’m…not in a rush anymore.”

“Because of our girl?”

Our girl…it sounded so right, and I nodded. 

“Are you guys ever coming out?” Dellah called, slamming open the door. “Your food is getting cold!”
 “Speak, and she shall appear!” Lewin grinned. “Sorry, you’re right. Come on, let’s have our first dinner together as a family, shall we?”

I nodded, and we all went down into the tavern to eat. It felt odd, sitting around a table, talking with Lewin. He’d been a nebulous person, a goal more than a real man we could meet for so long. Now he was here in front of us, our quest was basically at an end. So why did I feel so sad about it? Dellah was instantly taken with the man as he showed her little tricks and explained how she could try them. He might not have known he had a daughter, but the man was a natural. Dellah would be happy with him, I could tell. 

“You know, it’s getting late. Dellah should probably go to bed.” I said after a while.

“Awwwww, mama no! I am having fun!”

It was the first time she’d called me that since our discussion, and it sent a warm fuzzy feeling through my veins. 

“My home isn’t far,” Lewin suggested all of a sudden, going pink in the cheeks. “I know we all just met, but if you want somewhere quieter than a rowdy tavern…it’s not much, but it’s comfortable.”

“Oh yes, can we? Pleeeeeeeease?”

“I think that sounds lovely.”

Lewin’s home was slightly further than expected, but I didn't mind, the evening air was cool and refreshing after the heat of the tavern, and Lewin’s hand brushed against mine once or twice, making it feel hotter outside than it was. I tried not to read into that. His home was a small cottage house above a bookshop, larger than our home back in the village but still not big by most standards. 

Immediately, he began flitting about like a hummingbird, gathering items and clearing away notes. There were beakers he’d left boiling while he was gone, now filled with sludge and so many tiny magic items that any hope of Dellah falling asleep at a reasonable hour went out the window. 

“Blankets!” he announced suddenly. “I’ll go ask the bookkeeper if she has any spares. Sorry, I should have thought about that before I invited you, I just… didn't want you to disappear again. Now that I have met you both, I don’t want to lose you.”

His cheeks turned pink, and he flustered slightly.

“Sorry, that was a bit strong, wasn't it?”

Dellah giggled, and Lewin disappeared out the side door to go find the blankets, leaving us alone in his home. The joyful feeling in the air dissipated somewhat as silence descended over us, and then Dellah spoke.

“Are you leaving now?” She whispered. “Now that you’ve found my father?”

“Is that what you want?”

“...No.”

The girl sniffled and then began to cry.

“No, that’s never what I wanted.”

“Oh, sweetheart.”

I took her in my arms and held her close, it felt right, like this was exactly where I was supposed to be.

“I’m not the mama who gave birth to you, but I am still your mama.” I insisted.

“I know,” Dellah whispered. “I thought it was wrong to love you. I knew something was different way back when I first found that book, but I didn’t want to believe it.”

“Sometimes families are formed in funny ways,” I replied. “We’re family now. I think that’s what Ada, the first one, would have wanted.”

“Yeah.” 

Dellah pulled back, and I gently wiped the tears from her eyes. 

“Promise me something?” She asked in a small voice.

“Anything, sweetheart.”

“Never leave me. Not like my first mama.”

“Never. I will be right here if you need me, Dellah. I promise.”

“Alright! Blankets acquired!” 

Lewin’s voice carried up the hall as he reappeared, a pile of blankets levitating behind him. He took in Dellah’s tears, but I shook my head subtly; we could discuss it later. Feeling more at peace than I had since waking up in this world, I got Dellah to bed. It took time, she was so excited, but eventually, she drifted off, her little hand holding mine. Without taking my hand away, I reached for my notebook out of habit, wanting to add all the new information Lewin had given me. 

“You kept that.”

“The notebook? I found it in a box under Ada’s bed, along with a few other keepsakes.”
 “It was a gift from me,” Lewin whispered, laying a hand over the cover. “I felt bad about bedding a woman and leaving, so I left something for her. To remember me by.”

“You thought a book would make up for you loving and leaving her?” I said, raising my eyebrow.

“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds bad.”

“It is bad!”

“I was barely twenty at the time! I didn't know how to deal with romance!”

I snorted with laughter. A powerful wizard, stupefied by romance. It was almost cute. We sat there together, looking at Dellah as the moon hung low in the sky. 

“She’s beautiful,” Lewin whispered, gently stroking her cheek. “I never dreamed…I should have come back to check.”

“She has a way of worming into your heart even if you mean to keep her out.”

“That’s what happened to you?”

I nodded. 

“I never had any kids…till now,” I whispered. “I want to do right by her.”

“I want to do right by you both,” Lewin said seriously. “It’s the least I can do after fathering a child and disappearing for eight years.”

“I’m not Ada.” I reminded him, but he shook his head.

“You have been raising her despite all the confusion you were going through, that’s what a true parent does. What a mother does.”

He placed a hand gently on mine, and those butterflies started up again. 

“We might have only just met, but I know you deserve my respect.” He finished. 

I smiled at him, then turned back to Dellah and finally, the moon shining down over Ruler’s Rest. This wasn’t how I imagined my life would go, even after waking up in this new world. I never imagined becoming a mother, let alone learning to love it. I had no idea what the future would hold with Lewin, if he’d find a way to send me home, or if I even wanted that anymore. But with Dellah accepting me, and Lewin at my side perhaps facing the future wouldn’t be so scary. We were a family now, an odd one to be sure, but a family nonetheless. A lump formed in the back of my throat and I tried to swallow it down. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I just…I’ve not had a family in so long.”

“Me either.”

“This isn't how I imagined it would happen.”

“I did. I always knew the woman I bedded eight years ago would turn up with a daughter and then admit to me she was actually a man from another world.”

“Lewin, you’re an ass.”

“Made you smile, though.”

I giggled and rolled my eyes. I had my hands full with him and Dellah, that's for sure; but I didn’t mind.