Demon Queened - Chapter 68 - Rough Draft

Content warning: Discussion of suicide. Or at least something that borders it.

Devilla

Silence hung in the air, for a moment, as me and Doll stared at one another. Her, apparently having said what she wished, and I not even knowing where to begin. The beginning, I decided, in the end.

“Geas? What geas?”

“The spell of control masquerading as the ‘Rite of Insight,’” Doll replied, her voice as flat as ever. Even her eyes seemed dim, to me, somehow, lacking the normal contempt I was used to. “That which binds you to the position of Demon Queen. That which makes you play out your role.”

“Can you stop with the vague nonsense, and just tell me what the hell you mean?” I demanded. “Why would Luci create a geas like that? To ensure that we would do our parts in this war? That we wouldn’t run away?”

“In part,” Doll confirmed, slowly nodding her head. “But the part you’re meant to play is not the one you think.”

“Meaning?” I asked, impatience dripping from my voice as my hands clenched. Only the feeling of something soft in my left hand kept me from forming proper fists - the stuffed rabbit I’d taken from Sylvanna. The one Doll had left for me to find.

“You stand upon the stage,” Doll said, speaking slowly and carefully. “The setting, a two thousand year war that is only now approaching its conclusion. Your role? To be the final Demon Queen. She who falls at the Heroine’s hand, and brings peace to the land… or so I imagine, at any rate. It’s not as if Luci actually told me her plans.”

“You’re saying I’m supposed to die?” I asked, wishing to confirm Doll’s words. “To L… to the Heroine?”

“Like your mother, and her mother before her, and every mother before that, all the way back to Luci herself,” Doll confirmed. “She makes you fight, and she makes you fall.”

“That… that doesn’t even make any sense,” I replied, trying to ignore all the ways in which it did. How it explained why I, unbound by the geas, was impervious to attacks that would have ended my supposed equal… How I myself had theorized that it might be possible to lower my defenses… “Are you saying it binds our strength?”

“Worse. It forces you to bind your strength. Forces you to cap it, keep it low, and fight the Heroine on equal terms.”

“So you mean it forces us to fight until we die?” I asked, clinging to the faint hope that I’d misunderstood what Doll had to say. That she wasn’t claiming everything I knew to be a lie. “You’re saying Luci didn’t trust her descendents to do their job?”

“I’m saying that a Demon Queen - an angel - would never fall to a human under normal circumstances. Not even if she was substantially weakened. Luci would never give a mortal that sort of power.”

“Luci would… what?” I asked, my mind spinning. “Luci is dead. She died fighting against one of the first Heroines. Against the being her sisters empowered!”

“Luci yet lives. She yet leads. It was her who came up with a plan to plunge us into war. She who ensured that the war would last, as well. She who sends Demon Queens to their deaths.”

“By forcing them to fight?” I asked, desperate for her to tell me I was wrong.

“By forcing them to lower their defenses and die,” Doll replied, mercilessly. “Or did you think it a coincidence that your mother was the only Demon Queen to ever fail against their first Heroine? The only Demon Queen to ever die without a princess of age to take her place.”

“I… I thought it was because she was pregnant with me…” That’s what everyone always said. That she was weakened from giving birth. That she was unable to fight at top form. That it was my fault.

Certainly, no one had ever implied it was Luci’s.

“...You’re lying,” I said, after a long moment. “There’s no way Luci is still alive. It’s been two thousand years!”

“Angels are built to last for eternity,” Doll replied, her voice flat, her face expressionless.

“She fell from grace! She gave up her powers to stand against the Heroine!”

“She changed the color of her wings to black, and fought to bring the various monster girls under her banner. She also coordinated with her sisters in heaven, choosing the most militant branch of the Goddess’s church and helping them to rise to power with angelic backing. It was her idea to create the Heroine. To launch this war.”

“That’s… that can’t be true,” I said, shaking my head. “It goes against everything I was ever taught! Everything everyone was taught! Luci… Luci is the hero who helped us survive this far!”

“Luci is the angel who arranged this war.”

“Why?” I demanded. “Why would she even do such a thing?”

“Why would the angels suddenly pick the human’s side in a war that barely existed as such? Two thousand years ago, there were skirmishes, but no concentrated attempt at extermination. Until Luci stepped in, with her machinations.”

“But… why?” I demanded. I could feel tears running down my face, but I paid them no mind. They didn’t feel real at this moment. Nothing did.

“She never said. I only know that she intended for it to last for as long as possible. For Heroines to rise and fall, fighting against Demon Queens, and dying directly in the aftermath. For Demon Queens to stand in the back until it’s time to fight to the death, going again and again until she decides it’s time to end the charade and begin anew. At least until your mother derailed everything..”

“...My mother?” I asked, clutching onto the change in topic. The idea that Luci had betrayed us… it was too much to think about. She was practically a figure of worship for us! Her choice to descend to the mortal realm was the only reason we’d survived as long as we had! She couldn’t possibly be back in heaven, watching all this while laughing and eating popcorn… right?

“Your mother was a menace,” Doll declared, emotionlessly. “She fought against the geas every chance she got.”

“She tried to break free?” I asked. “Did she succeed?”

“No,” Doll replied, shaking her head. “She did not fight to escape. She fought to irritate.”

“...Irritate?”

“Yes,” Doll confirmed, with a slow nod. “She would go out of her way to make Luci mad. She exploited every loophole she could find to that end, and that end alone. If she couldn’t insult Luci for being selfish, she’d do acts of charity in Luci’s name, knowing she would hate to see her own flesh and blood doing lowdown dirty work among the peasants. She’d make sure to very loudly do it in Luci’s name, as well, telling everyone made up stories about how Luci herself used to do various disgusting jobs to help her people.”

“That sounds… petty…” Not exactly befitting the image I had of my late mother.

“It was very petty,” Doll agreed. “But so is Luci. I’m sure she was quite bothered by it… It’s not like your mother stopped there, in any case. She explored and stressed the limits of her geas like none that came before her, putting every ounce of energy she had into defying Luci in the most petty of ways. From lying about Luci’s favorite breakfast cereal, to sharing embarrassing stories, to valuing troop lives over territory and hastening our eventual defeat…”

“...One of those sounds a fair bit different from the others,” I pointed out, unable to help myself. Not even with tears streaking down my cheeks.

“Yes. Your mother’s efforts to end the war were the final straw, to be honest. Everything she’d done before, I could accept, but once she started messing with Luci’s grand plan…”

“What did you do to her?” I demanded, my eyes narrowing as my fists again clenched. The sound of a stitch popping forced me to relax a moment later, reminding me that I still carried something precious. Something my mother had left for me.

Doll didn’t seem to care, one way or the other. From start to finish, she regarded me cooly, her expression almost blank. Then, after a moment or two, she said, “I helped her.”

“...Helped her?” I questioned. “You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a little suspicious. You just told me that my ancestor was a traitor, and that you’ve been sitting on this information for… how long?”

“Two thousand years, approximately. Though I was not truly conscious during all of it - not until Luci’s daughter modified and added to my enchantments to the point I gained sentience…”

“And you didn’t tell anyone?” I demanded. “This entire time?”

“...Demon Queens are not the only ones bound. Several restricting enchantments have been placed upon my body. I am, generally speaking, unable to speak of these matters to anyone but the Queen. The true, post rite queen.”

“And yet you’re telling them to me,” I pointed out. “Someone who didn’t do the rite properly.”

“I am,” Doll confirmed, with a nod. “But these are special circumstances… Do you know what it is I have my hand upon?”

I glanced at the dark ball her hand was resting upon. The one set into the dais, at the center of the room. The one swirling with holy energy. “Some sort of enchanted item, I assume?”

“It is the charging station for this tower. For two thousand years, Demon Queens have fueled this tower’s many enchantments by pouring energy into this dais. It can store quite a lot. Enough to survive a twenty-one year drought, even… though it was getting close, when I finally decided to put my hand on it.”

“So you’re fuelling it?” I asked. “How? You’re not an angel, or a Heroine. You’re an artificial construct! There’s no way you could wield holy powers.”

“Correct,” Doll confirmed, again. “I cannot wield such magic. I am simply powered by it.”

“Then… You’re transferring your energy stores?” I asked. “To fill up the tower? Why? You could have simply asked me.”

“You are technically correct that I am fueling the tower - but it would be more accurate to say that I am draining my own power supplies. Though, in truth, I finished doing so long before you ever came in. At this point, the moment I take my hand away from the podium I shall power off and die.”

“...What?” I whispered.

“The enchantments that control me rely on holy power to function,” Doll informed me. “They utilize the very power that drives me in order to restrict me. Yet right now, there is no power within me. I am drawing out exactly the amount I need to stand, and to speak, and nothing more. For the first time in two thousand years, my own geas equivalent is - quite literally - powerless.”

“But… If you let go…”

“When I release the podium, I will depower. This should permanently end the enchantments placed on me - both those that control me, and those that give me my personality. If you find a way to charge me, feel free. I will happily donate this body to you as a blank slate, if it helps to achieve my goal.”

“Your goal?”

“I want to make a mess so big that Luci herself will have no choice but to come down and fix it. I want to reveal her true identity and derail her plans. To make whatever she’s been working toward for these last two thousand years fail… or, failing that, to annoy her in the same petty way your mother did. It is to that end that I agreed to help your mother.”

“My mother?” I asked. “We’re back to her again? You… said that you helped her, didn’t you? But also that she went too far. What’s that about?”

“She found and exploited too many loopholes. She annoyed Luci, while forcefully altering the timeline Luci planned for. As such, I expected Luci to tighten up her geas, and eliminate whatever loopholes she could find. If you’d taken the geas, you would likely have found yourself more restricted than all who’d come before you. It would have been utterly impossible for you to derail, or even slightly irritate, Luci.”

“So… you worked together with my Mother… to ensure I wouldn’t be bound, in the first place?”

“Correct. At least, initially. The original plan was for me to drain myself right before your coronation so that I could reveal everything to you before you took the Rite. Unfortunately, your childhood development was… suboptimal. I decided that trying to free you from the geas would be too great a risk, for too low a reward. I was planning to instead wait for my next opportunity - no matter how long it took.”

“Wait. You were going to let me take the rite? Let me be imprisoned?”

“I was going to do the same thing I have done for the last two thousand years - wait, wait, and wait some more. I will likely only have one chance to upset Luci, before she ends my life. I did not wish to waste it on a brat who likely lacked what it takes to survive.”

“You…” I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. “You chose to sacrifice me. Like all those who came before me.”

“I did. And yet, somehow, you avoided the geas despite this. If I did not know better, I would think it was your mother’s handiwork…  but there is no way Luci would allow her anywhere near the mortal realm, now that she’s passed on.”

“Wait - what do you mean the mortal realm?” I demanded. “Are you saying-”

“That your mother is alive?” Doll interrupted. “I told you, did I not? Luci would never give a mortal power enough to hurt an angel. Their physical bodies may have been killed, but such things are only an inconvenience for an angel. Your souls can construct new houses for themselves, if given time. Luci and her angels simply make a point of scooping up any wayward Demon Queen soles before it can happen.”

“My mother… is alive?” I whispered.

“Though likely trapped, yes.” Doll tilted her head a little to the right, frowning. “I am surprised to find you so invested in this. You only knew her for a short while, did you not? Even with an angel’s perfect memory, you should barely have any recollection of her.”

“She’s my mom,” I whispered, as if that explained anything. Maybe it did. Doll didn’t seem to think so, though, from the way she shrugged.

“I have a letter for you, from her, if you wish to take it.”

“...What?” I whispered.

“I said I have a letter for you, from her, if you wish to take it.”

“Why do you…?”

“The Rite of Insight promises the wisdom of your ancestors after the completion of the spell, does it not?” Doll reminded me. “This is not entirely a lie. To be precise, it offers you access to the knowledge I have stored over the last two thousand years. Though I will warn you, a fair portion of my memory is taken up by letters such as the one your mother wrote. In fact, they are mostly from mothers begging forgiveness from their daughters. Though the geas has a large effect on the actions and expressed personality of an individual, often preventing them from forming close bonds with their family members, it would appear mothers nevertheless feel guilty when their daughters go through the same…”

“That’s… I mean…” I didn’t even know where to begin. “Just… give me the letter. Please.”

“Of course,” Doll said. “Would you like me to write it down, or would you prefer the audio recording?”

“The… Just… write it down.” As much as the recording intrigued me, I did not want to hear my mother’s voice from Doll’s lips right now.

“Of course,” Doll said, reaching into her skirt pocket and withdrawing a folded piece of paper. “I took the liberty of writing it down for you, in advance.”

I didn’t say thank you. I simply snatched the letter from Doll’s hands, opening it up and scanning its contents. I don’t know what I expected to find. A clinical explanation, such as Doll had given me? Confirmation of her words?

Certainly not what I got.

My dearest Devilla,

If you’re reading this, than that means our bitch of an ancestor sent me to my death. Probably getting revenge for that one time I said she used to dig latrines. Or that story I told about her barking like a dog to make some commoner kid happy. Or maybe she’s just pissed that I keep retreating, instead of fighting… who knows? 

Does it matter? Nope! It doesn’t. Screw her. This letter is about you, Devilla. My precious baby girl. Did you know I named you after a story? One that’s been passed down in our family from generations. Supposedly Luci shared it with her daughter, once, when she was feeling a bit maternal. It’s all about this girl named Devil who defies the heavens and carves out her own destiny. I sorta changed it to give you a little of my own name, too - hope you don’t mind - but… at the end of it all, that story’s what I want for you. For you to defy heaven, and carve out your own path. Even if it means using the very tools Luci’s given you.

Things… are going to be tough, going forward. I mean, if you’re reading this letter in particular, that means you avoided the geas, right? My plan worked! Doll helped for once in her damn life! You’re actually free! Free to do whatever the hell you please.

Except Luci’s… probably not gonna like that. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s breathing down your neck even as you read this. She’s definitely going to come down from heaven the moment she notices things are wrong. She’ll probably try and force another geas on you, too - but here’s the thing…

She can’t. At least not on her own. I mean, there’s a reason she has us cast the spell - one angel can’t trap another like that! It only works because she’s turning your own damn magic against you!

That means you have a card to play. You can make a deal, if you want. Get her to use a less restrictive geas on you, maybe? Make sure you have some freedom, in this trap… I mean, the other option is fighting her, and I have no clue how that’s going to go. She’s an angel, just like us, but… she’s also something special. The Goddess’s representative on the mortal realm. That means she’s got a strength the rest of us lack. Access to Divine magic, rather than just holy. Beating her… is probably a pipe dream. Which is why, again, I’m going to point out the lovely card you have in your back pocket! The fact that whatever she’s after, whyever she made this war, it’s not going to end the way she wants without your cooperation! If Doll’s letting you read this, then that probably means she won’t interfere, either. If anything, she’ll be happy if you can earn her more time to plan something foolproof… I kinda forced her hand when it came to helping me, after all. Something about me making too big a mess.

You’re… probably not going to go that route, though, huh? Not if you take after either of your parents. Maybe you won’t wanna get tied down - like me - or you can’t stand to see people suffer - like your dam. Or maybe there’s someone you want to protect? Some reason for you to fight with all your might? I don’t know… but… I somehow can’t see you taking the route I’m suggesting.

Of course, if I’m wrong, I’ll be thrilled! I mean, who wants their daughter trapped by a geas? Not to mention how kickass I think it would be for you to tell Luci to go fuck herself. But if I’m right, and you really do intend to fight to the end, then I’ve got one request for you, alright?

Be selfish. Think of yourself, occasionally. Care about your own happiness. If not for your own sake, then for the sake of everyone who came before you - every ancestor of yours that never got the chance.

Also, know that you are loved. Know that I love you, with all my heart, and that I’ll support you no matter what your decision is.

I’m your Mom, after all, aren’t I? That’s sort of what we’re here for.

Love,

Grimmilla.

“...I… Think I need a moment to process this,” I whispered, closing my eyes. 

“I suggest thinking quickly,” Doll replied. “There’s someone outside the door.”

~~~

Author's Notes

...Help, I can't stop... There's even a non-zero chance I'll write another one... Tomorrow's my day off, though, so don't worry about me burning myself out!