Now Hiring Pt. 6: Looner's Collection Grows

More Looner Madness, but we'll be taking a break for a bit of the Irish coming up and possibly some pixie dust and a visit to the big top again.
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Now Hiring: Looner's Collection
Hat's off to you, you crazy tattoo!

by Hugo Prosperio 

inspired by Novadehedgehog

 ~0~

Jenna Brooks had enjoyed her transformation as she sampled Looner’s Nose Enlargement Cream. It had made her head a giant nose and she felt amazing despite the oddness of it all. She could still see somehow but her vision was blurry, like it was going away slowly. Looner admired her new look, having known this would happen, but it was nonetheless delightful to see. 

“Show me what you got” she said in a muffled voice. The lips that once had remained from her transformation were now gone and she now simply spoke and saw in ways she couldn’t understand. Magic, she thought. 

“Okay.” he said as he reached into his trusty bag of magical dust and took a healthy pinch to spread all over her nose head. It began to take effect immediately as her body began to shrink slowly. 

“Am I gonna join the collection?” she said. 

“If you wish. I’d enjoy that.” the clown admitted. 

“Well, perhaps, but maybe not that small just yet. I like having some ability to move around.” she giggled. 

“Noted.” he said as he put back some of the dust and watched as her body compressed and got a bit wider as it did, thicker to hold a now large and heavy nose on the top. When she was done she was about two feet shorter, and her nose-head seemed even larger. “Wow, I am freak show material now.” she exclaimed. 

“Where I am from that is a compliment.” he said. 

----

The colorful cartoon clown smiled as he waved his gloved hands across the screen that Sara and Jamie were looking at. The categories of transformations were presented again. “Wanted to try the other two categories, correct?” the clown asked with a grin across his toony face. 

“I’ll take Clown Clothing.” said Sara with a smile.

The cartoon clown nodded and swiped away the categories and brought up a list of items for her to become. “Scroll through and pick your new self!” he said. 

She looked through the options, scrolling as she glanced by, some of them being pretty obvious such as pants, shirts, and shoes, which Looner had plenty of, she thought. Others were more intriguing. She saw a Hat, a pair of boxer shorts, and then a large jumpsuit that had ruffles at the ankles, arms and neck. 

“Too bad I have to pick just one.” she said with a smile.

“Who said that. Sure, your friend was happy being a whoopie cushion, but I’d have turned her into whatever she wanted as many times if she had stuck around.” the cartoon said. “Try a few, see what fits best.” 

“Really?” she said. “Let’s try a hat then.” she said. 

“Any kind of hat you want to try, or shall we randomize that experience?” she said. 

“Yeah, random sounds fun.” she said. “What about the mental stuff, do I get a choice like Betty did?”

“Well, not as much. The clothing options all have a built in mental option, so you’ll experience it as a hat, but not nearly as strong as she did!” 

“Okay, well, let’s go for it.” she said, as she hit the randomize button. On the screen a variety of hats whizzed by until the screen stopped on a bowler hat. 

“A Bowler hat! Okie dokie. How big you gonna be, Ms. Bowler? Want to go Small like your friend before you.” the clown asked with a chuckle. 

“Sure, but...maybe not as small. She kind of went overboard with it.” 

“Okay, a small bowler hat coming up. This one won’t be as slow as Betty’s transformation, it’s gonna be quick, just so yous know.” he said 

“More time to try other things.” she said. “Go for it.”

The device lowered from the ceiling and both Sara and Jamie looked at it. It aimed itself at Sara and blasted her with the familiar beam of blue light with arcs of electricity. It hit her square in the face this time, and she felt oddly compelled to tilt her head back. As she did her mouth opened wide, and then stretched wider than ever, growing larger and larger to her amazment and the amazement of her friend. 

“AHMIE WHA HAPPENIN?” she tried to say.

“Your mouth is getting bigger. Well bigger than it already was!” she said with a laugh. The cartoon clown joined in on the laugh. 

“ERY UNNY” She replied when suddenly she felt a sucking sensation, and then she felt herself being pulled downward. “OODEYE AHMIE” she shouted as she felt herself sinking towards the floor. 

From Jamie’s perspective, her friend disappeared. It was rapid and it wasn’t like the typical shrinking she had seen a few of her friends go through tonight. Her friend was there, and then she wasn’t, her voice fading as she disappeared, her clothing dropping to the floor as she disappeared. 

Then a loud fizzle was heard and then with a pop, a small bowler hat appeared on the seat next to Jamie. It was about half the size of a typical hat, like it were for a small child or a leprechaun, perhaps. The color of the hat lent itself well to that as it was green, with a rainbow colored ribbon that wrapped around. On the side was a small flower that was clearly plastic tucked into the rainbow ribbon. On the front, attached to the ribbon was a button that bore the smiling face of Sara, but she was drawn on, like a cartoon, her style very similar to that of the clown on the screen. The cartoon girl blinked. 

“Wow.” she said in a cute little girlish voice. “That was a trip. I was standing there and then suddenly I was here on the bench.”

“The transformation took place in between your dimension and the dimension of Looner’s home. The first part that we saw was the forming of the brim of the hat, but the rest happened when you disappeared and reappeared. Happens in seconds, but it feels great, I’d bet.” 

“Oh yeah! I feel brand new, and so alive...which is...strange.” she said. “And I really want to be worn. Jamie, try me on!” she said. 

Jamie took the hat and held it out to examine it, looking at the smiling toony face of her friend on the button. She gave a dastardly grin to her friend. “I think you should be worn by someone else, let me help.” she giggled. 

“Wait what? No I need to stay in the booth, Jamie, you know…” she started to say before her friend opened the curtain and took hold of the brim and flicked the hat that was Sara out into the party. 

“Have fun, dear!” she said with a giggle. 

“Now it’s just us!” the clown said to her. “She’ll have so much fun...as will her wearers.” he noted. 

The hat soared through the air and landed on a chair near a bunch of party goers who were dancing to the music being spun by the big footed DJ. 

“Ooof.” she said as she looked around. “Crap. I gotta get back to the booth so I can turn back. What the hell, Jamie?” she muttered. 

“Oh what a cute hat.” said a young brunette lady wearing a most revealing dress that showed off ample cleavage and equal amounts of backside. She leaned over to admire it and saw the face on it. “That looks like Sara” 

“Hi Gianna. It is me!” she said. “Can you…” 

“Oh my gosh, Sara! You are a button?” she said. 

“Actually I am the whole hat, but I need you to listen…” Sara tried to speak more, but the girl picked her up and whirled around to show her to the other ladies.

“Look! Sara got turned into a hat!” she said. “How silly is that.”

They all laughed and applauded. “Nice one Sara!” said one of the girls she didn’t recognize. 

“Yep, it’s really cool, I just need you to…” 

“Put you on? Sure thing” the girl called Gianna said as she placed the small hat atop her long brown hair. 

“Cute.” she said as she posed, but then her eyes widened. “Wait...I feel...funny.” 

“Gia, I just got transformed, I still have magic all over me, take me off!” she said. She didn’t actually want Gia to take her off though. Being worn felt like it was the best thing ever, the best sensation to cross her body in years. She was meant to be worn, and Gia was making her feel so happy, but her mind was trying to remain rational, fighting against the mental changes the machine had designed. 

Gia giggled and then felt something odd as her head began to shrink to fit the hat, rapidly reducing until it was more than half its original size, the hat looking like a perfect fit now. 

“Ohhhhhhhhhh” she said as her mind swam from the hat’s magic. 

“What’s happening?” Sara wondered aloud. 

Gia’s body sucked downward, not so much shrinking as it was shifting in height, getting shorter, and pudgier, losing her almost supermodel like frame as she went from 5 foot 9 to 3 foot 6 in a matter of moments. Her weight had shifted in an odd way that left the once slender girl very pear shaped and quite thick all over. Her feet began to stretch out of her strappy sandals that she was wearing and she giggled as she felt her ears begin to wiggle and grow larger. She was turning into one of them, and while she had not considered volunteering for it, she now was glad it was happening. 

“I can change people!” Sera said with surprise and a hint of glee. She felt magic flowing out of her odd form into the woman beneath it. She laughed loudly and tried to focus the energy and she found she could do that easily. “Well, say goodbye, Gia, and let’s say hello to Gene!” She said with a delighted tone. 

The woman below was now changing again, her heavy breasts shrinking away as she stood there gasping at the changes. “My boobies, she whispered.” 

They simply flattened out, leaving her flat chested while her body lost many of it’s girly curves and took on a more rigid manly form. She gasped as she felt a twinge below and something growing. “Woah!” she said as her voice deepened. “I’m a dude.” the new man said. 

His feet began to grow larger and wider as his hands inflated into glove like appendages and the oversized clothing he was wearing began to transform itself into a little shirt and overalls combo, similar but not quite the same as Looner’s. His sandals became oversized sneakers perfect for the new large feet, and he giggled. 

“Wow! Look at me everybody!” he said with a wave to his friends who just watched his journey from tall girl to short pudgy male. “Thanks Sara!” he chortled as he took the hat off and held it out to examine the proud face on the button. 

“My pleasure, Gene” she said. “Anybody else want to try me on?”

Back in the booth, Jamie stepped up for her turn. She giggled and clicked on the Looner’s Personal Collection offering, the last category. Selecting it made the screen light up like a game show. “You have selected the chance to become something for Looner the Clown himself! This is a great honor.” the cartoon clown’s voice rang out as he walked onto the screen again. He was now dressed up like Looner. “What will follow is a list of items Looner wishes to have for his collection. Choose your chance to be a part of this illustrious group of items.” 

“Wow, that sounds like a big deal” Jamie replied. “Hit me with the list.”

It appeared as a scroll of parchment that could be literally scrolled with the flick of her finger. On it, she found all sorts of things like Balloon Animals, a bottle for his bar, a new pair of underwear, even some things that made her blush, but at the end of the list it said “A tattoo”

“He wants a tattoo?” she asked plainly. 

“It’s on the list, so yes he does. He programs it whenever he brings the booth somewhere.” 

“That sounds the most interesting, I have to admit.” she said as she selected it. 

“We shall make you into living art, my dear!” he said with a massive grin. “I’ve always wanted to do this one. Please stand in front of the camera above my screen, so we can do this right.” he requested. As she stood there and smiled, a bright light flashed, and her world felt like it was collapsing. She didn’t realize she was being digitized, but as the light hit her, she broke up into millions of little bits of data and sucked into the screen she had been using to select her fate. She watched as she broke apart and went to scream, but all that was heard was the sound of an old modem connecting to the internet. Soon the booth was empty. 

When Jamie opened her eyes, she was in a white room, and beside her was the clown who had been helping guide their transformations, but he was no longer a 2D cartoon on a screen, he was there in front of her, looking more like a 3D computer rendering. He stood a little taller than she did at the moment. 

“Well this is interesting.” she said. She looked out a large bay window on the far side of the room and saw it lead out to the booth, which was now vacant. She was inside the screen, she thought. How novel. 

“Well, shall we begin on getting you turned into the perfect piece of art for Looner? “What are you going to be?” he asked. 

“Be?” she said. “What do you mean? We already decided on tattoo!” she remarked. 

“Yes, but it’s not gonna be a tattoo of yourself. We gotta spice things up.” he exclaimed. 

“Oh. Well, what are the options?” Jamie asked with a curious look. 

He waved his hands, and words appeared, floating in the air before her. Next to them was a small image of what it was supposed to be. “Images are not final, just to give you an idea.” he noted.

“Sexy Lady”  which had a Jessica Rabbit style bombshell next to it. 

“Round Ball Clown” A funny rotund toony looking clown with big feet and big hands, but no other limbs to speak of sat there. 

“A pair of shoes” An oversized pair of red sneakers with a smiling clown face on each toe.

“A cartoon hedgehog” It looked like Sonic, she thought, but the color scheme was different. 

“These are all requests that Looner himself inputted into my system when he asked for a Tattoo. Please feel free to take your time.” the toon clown said. 

She thought for a moment, and then chuckled at the sight of the round clown, and selected it. 

“Perfect. A roly poly clown for Looner to tote around.” he rhymed as the words and images vanished. He then pulled, seemingly out of thin air, a large bike pump. He took the nozzle at the end and shoved it into her mouth. He then began to push up and down on the pump at the top, and she marveled as it filled her with air, but not just her mouth. It went down into her body and that began to inflate. At this point she had seen her friends turned into a whoopie cushion and a hat respectively, so this didn’t seem all that out of the ordinary, but to experience it first hand was very interesting. 

Here entire body was swelling up, and as it went, it lost her womanly definition. She wasn’t the most well endowed, but even still, all the sensual curves melted into an orb like form that was swelling up larger and larger with each pump of the air hose. Her arms and legs were swelling up then pulling into the form, matching the little image of the cute clown from her selection. Soon her body was perfectly round except her hands, feet and head, so the clown removed the hose.

“Almost there.” he noted as he walked over and pulled out a paintbrush that looked like it was dripping in a thick batch of rainbow colored goo. He walked over and layed the goo all over her hands and feet and watched them change. Her hands puffed up rapidly, losing a finger in the process, looking more and more like gloves as they swelled. Her feet also grew larger, bigger and thicker, but were rapidly becoming encased in rubber shoes that looked like oversized sneakers, a perfect fit. 

She went to say something but was stopped when he smeared the colorful goo all over her face and head, which felt like an otherworldly force attacking her skin with a numbing sensation. Her eyes went blank for a moment, then she opened them able to see once more and found a mirror before her. Her body was round like she knew, but now her head was also round and her hair looked painted on, a cute girl painted into a swirl on her forehead. She was loving the look and she laughed.

“Oh gosh, I’m adorable.” she said. “What about mental transformation?” 

“Well, do you want to feel like a tattoo. Don’t think we’ve ever done that kind of a change to someone’s mind before.” 

“I mean, Betty and Sara did, so I don’t want to wuss out.” 

“Fair enough” the clown stated as he took his finger and reached out and poked the girl in the nose, which made it blow up into a round red ball, then he grabbed it and squeezed. She felt a wave of euphoria that made her mind swim with new thoughts. Thoughts of belonging on someone’s skin rather than standing in the world like she had been all her life. She wanted to be part of a person, a part of their body in a way that showcased how beautiful they werer and she was. She smiled. 

“Gosh, I really want to be tattooed on someone now. I can feel it rushing through my brain. It’s so crazy that I want it, but I want it more than anything.” 

Outside the booth, a light flashed that caught the eye of the clown of the hour. Looner made his way over the booth after he watched one of his latest friends waddle away, a second girl who had tried his nose cream wander off, nothing more than a nose with a small pair of legs, arms, and a magic wand he had provided to her. 

Suddenly Jamie felt the same energy that rushed through her when she was sucked into the display filling her once more, and in a flash, she found herself sitting on the bench of the booth, staring at the display once more. “Well, we have just a few steps. You want to be a tattoo, don’t you, dear?” he asked. 

As she sat on the booth’s bench, she nodded as best she could. 

“Well, then you need to be shrunk to the right size. Right now, you’d take up the entire body of a poor person, even Looner.” 

“Oh right! How silly of me. I need to be much smaller. Please help me be smaller.” she asked. 

As if on cue, the beam from above warmed up and blasted Jamie with a sizzling tingly beam of light and as it surrounded her, the room began to grow larger in swift order. She watched as the bench stretched out under her rounded out butt, and she became lost in a sea of red pleather that coated the bench. Soon she was about the size of a mouse, and that’s when the shrinking stopped. 

“You are decidedly too 3D for a tattoo, I am thinking.” The digital clown noted, his voice now booming around the booth. 

“Oh my gosh, you are right! I am so...thick. I need to be flat.” she said. As she agreed with him, she didn’t notice a small hole appear on the booth wall above her and a little mechanical gloved hand with a mallet snuck out. It quickly swung the mallet down on top of the girl, which hit her with a force unlike any she had ever felt before. When the mallet lifted up, there was a flat circle with her eyes looking around, dazed. She tried to move but found that impossible. She wondered how she’d get out of this and onto someone’s body when she heard someone enter the booth. 

“Well, did you get the item I asked for” came the voice of Looner. 

“She went right for it. Didn’t even have to prod her.” the digital clown said to his boss. “She’s over on the bench, ready for you” 

“She probably didn’t imagine where I am about to put her, but you put on the mental option, right” he said as he leaned over and examined the flat girl. 

“She asked for it. They all did, to be honest.”

Inside she was screaming, not to be transformed back, but to become a part of this huge clown before her. The desire to be on his skin was growing more and more in what was left of her mind.  

Looner smirked and lowered his overalls a bit, revealing a very pink fleshy bit of his butt. Turning around, he smiled and sat down directly on top of the flat girl on the bench. When his butt touched her, she felt a strange suction, and her flat inky form began to merge with the skin she was touching. She felt a wave of energy from it, and was so thrilled, even if it was a place that was rather odd. 

As the new tattoo finished becoming one with it’s owner, both sighed. “Perfect. Now then.” he said as he pulled up his pants and fixed his suspenders. “Time to get back out to the party. Thanks, Objecto. Let me know if you get any other takers for some fun stuff.” 

“Will do, Boss” he said as the clown left the booth, and all was silent. Objecto was a rare clown in Looner’s Collection who remembered who he was, and he actually prefered this life. So much more fun to do this for a living than fixing computers. He was glad to have met Looner and been so dramatically changed. He smiled and waited for the next visitor to the booth. He pondered the three girls. The tattoo would never want anything else but to be a part of Looner now that they were joined, that much he knew, but the other two were fascinating to him. 

In Clowntopia, Betty found herself amongst a massive collection of whoopie cushions, and was pleased to find she wasn’t the only transformed one among them, but she was certainly the most unique. She had thoughts of asking to be brought back to the store so she could make her way back to the booth and become a girl again, but as the day went on, meeting her new friends, and being used by several of the clown’s house guests who all found her delightful, she wanted to keep living this life. Over time, her human mind wore away to a basic one that was just pleased to be so unique and a prized part of a collection. Her clown showed her off to any visitors, and even took her on tour when he brought his collection to a museum. She hadn’t become a part of Looner’s collection, but here she was in a collection just the same, and she didn’t mind at all. 

At the party, Sara had become quite a party trick herself, being passed around. She found that by thinking of a transformation as she was worn, she could force the person to experiuence that transformation. She made a few wacky clowns before Looner himself had found her and offered her a place in his bag of tricks. She had thought of going back to the machine to try a new form, but the power she had in her was amazing and she didn’t want to lose it. She would find herself being brought back out later in the evening, and passed around again, and it made her happier than anything had in many years of her life. 

Once out of the booth, Looner smirked thinking about the rotund clown tattoo now inked onto his behind, and he laughed. What a delightful evening this was. He looked around at what he was doing to this party and was thoroughly pleased with himself, although more guests were arriving and there were still plenty who didn’t even know about the true nature of the clown and his friends. Lots of chances to play, he thought with his typical devious grin. 

“Hello, Mr. Looner.” said a young woman named Claire Stansfield. She approached with caution but a look of pure curiosity on her face. Looner had seen it many times, and he loved it each time. Claire wasn’t done up like most of the girl’s at the party, looking a bit more casual, wearing jean shorts, flats and a t-shirt. She was actually a bit chubby, Looner noted, which was a nice change of pace from the “hot college girl” type he’d been running across, and he thought she exuded a natural beauty. 

“Hello dear. Have you come to have me work my magic? I would be proud to work with a pretty girl such as yourself.” 

“Well, I had a question.” she said. She had to admit something about this whole situation was making her feel strange things. Ever since her youth when she read a book about a genie who accidentally shrunk his master due to an arrant wish, she liked the idea of shrinking. She had thought it a fantasy that was unachievable until now. “You like shrinking things, right?” 

“Yeah, I most certainly do!” he said with enthusiasm. 

“Well, I was curious, what’s the smallest you’ve ever shrunk someone?” she asked. 

“Hmmm, Well, i’d say to about the size of a marble.” he said. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I wanted to see if you’d be willing to shrink me smaller than any of your previous shrunken guests. Super tiny?” 

“Well, you need only ask” as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small glass bottle with a cork stopper and a tag that read “Drink Me.” 

“Drink up, shrink down, and we’ll have us some fun.” he said, and she wasted no time as she snagged the bottle and drank it’s entire contents in one long sip. She gave the bottle back to Looner, then felt it starting to take effect. 

Loone took a slight step back to watch, and immediately he could see her starting to sink downwards, getting smaller quickly. Her outfit was not shrinking with her. Looner never could quite make up his mind if he wanted the clothes to shrink with them or not, because it was certainly fun to watch a person slip out of their outfit. Her’s looked baggy at first, but then it looked like there had to be a wireframe holding it up because the person inside was way too small for it to be otherwise. With a whoosh of wind, the clothing all dropped to the floor, revealing the girl’s colorful choice of underwear, the one “sexy” thing she had indulged in. There, standing amongst the panties was the girl herself now about six or seven inches tall, still looking the same except how small she had become. 

“What a rush.” she said to herself. She then saw a giant hand reaching for her. Looner picked her up and set her in his open palm. 

“Well, you are pretty small, but not the smallest I’ve shrunk...so we need to do some more shrinking I think. You ready for that?” he asked. 

She nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

He had already prepared another bottle of liquid, but this time he splashed some onto her head instead of allowing her to drink it. The liquid seeped into her skin quickly and she felt a strong buzz of sensations spreading throughout her body. Her skin turned a pale color, echoing that of many of the clowns, while her hands and feet began to swell up and get larger, more silly looking. Her hips bucked out as both they and her rear end began to swell, while her modest chest shrank a bit, creating a pear shaped look in the girl. Her hair swelled upwards into a long poofy tube that began to turn pink and purple while similarly colored accents appeared on her face, her lips swelling into a bright red grin. Pink circles appeared on her cheeks while her eyebrows disappeared and were replaced with purple arches, swirling delicately. 

She then began to shrink again, her body reducing, slower than before, but still visible to anyone paying attention. She stood up on the fleshy palm of the clown shrinking her and watched as he loomed even larger than before. She went from six inches down to three, down to one and then even further as the shrinking picked up it’s speed. Looner giggled and gingerly picked her up between his index finger and thumb. She continued to get smaller as he held on and when she stopped he let out a hearty chuckle that filled her ears with the loudest sound she had ever heard. She was now only just slightly taller than a grain of rice, and he giggled as he set her down on the top of his round nose. 

“Let’s take a look at you.” he said as he looked down at his nose to the speck of a girl. 

“Wow, this is amazing” she said as she looked up at the giant eyes of the clown before her. She gazed into them and noticed how pretty they were, something she hadn’t when she was full size. 

“Gosh, what big eyes you have.” she said. 

“Can’t really make out what you are saying. I think this might be too small, so let me try and size you up.” he said. She stood up and nodded, but as she moved, her feet caused a rippling effect in the rubber of Looner’s nose. His eyed, huge as they were, got wider. 

“Ah...AHHHHH….AHCHOOOOOO”

He sneezed a massive burst of air, and the little girl was no match for it as he flew off his nose, and got caught in the wind from it, sending her darting across the room. 

“LOONER!” she shouted as she floated through the air, and then found herself falling. 

“HELP!” she cried as she found herself tumbling downwards. She looked down and saw her destination, the purse of one of the girls she went to school with. She braced herself for impact, and when she landed, she found herself on a makeup sponge. 

“Well this just got interesting.” she muttered to herself. 

Interesting was a great way to describe the events of the night. New guests arriving, and a few old guests just discovering the magic afoot, Looner knew that things were about to get even more interesting, but perhaps he should look for the poor tiny girl. 

Maybe.