NEW STORY: Revenge of the Silliest (Part One)

Here is a story I haven't posted much of, so it's essentially brand new content, and it's nice to get back to the more basic Clowntopia stories. I love writing Looner and the weirdness he gets up to, but a simple story is what the doctor ordered! Enjoy a tale of revenge and silliness! Consider it a pseudo-sequel to Prom Night.

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Revenge of the Silliest 

A Clowntopia Tale by Hugo Prosperio 

(For AbigailTheWitch)

PART ONE: A DISH BEST SERVED SILLY

Ashley Vargos stood in the clown joke shop, looking around with a nervous curiosity. The young woman had recently discovered a viral cell phone video from almost 8 years ago showing the chaos at a high school prom when clowns showed up, and their mischievous antics started changing everyone at the dance into like-minded cartoon-ish clowns. The internet had many theories about the video, and the biggest being that it was a staged fraud, but something about it seemed very real to Ashley. 

She did research, digging deep into the corners of the internet that people shouldn’t really be visiting. She found a forum that claimed that not only was the video real, it was the result of a paid sabotage against classmates at the dance. She kept looking, trying to find the place where this happened, where this sabotage was purchased, because she herself was looking for some revenge. 

It had been an ongoing issue for Ashley, but there were a handful of girls in her class of high school who were downright horrible to her. There was Jennifer Ailes, often known as the prettiest girl in school. Then there is Rebecca Morton, the captain of the cheer-leading squad at school. Lastly was the one that hurt the most, Vanessa Hunter.  

Ashley and Vanessa had been best friends throughout their entire childhoods, and into high school, but in their sophomore year, Vanessa started to grow distant from Ashley, and eventually the two stopped speaking. When their Junior year started, Ashley noticed Vanessa hanging out with Rebecca and Jennifer, and it was clear she was sharing secrets she had learned in the many years of friendship, trying to earn their trust.

That year was hell as the three girls tormented her on a regular basis, and Ashley had finally had enough. When she discovered the video of the prom night and all the reports of what had actually occurred, she knew it was the right course of action. 

As she stood in the shop waiting for it’s owner to return, she sighed. It was what she wanted, but she had a strange feeling, perhaps cold feet. She shook her head. She was resolved. Her classmates would get what was coming to them, the silliest revenge possible.

“Aha, still there, my dear?” asked a voice from behind a beaded curtain. From behind the beads, stood a handsome man dressed as a clown. Blue hair styled up like Elvis, a snazzy suit in multiple colors, and depending on the light, it seemed as if the colors were changing. Ashley smiled and nodded.

“Yes, sir. Thanks for your help with this matter”

“You know I think I have to do something about this...Internet. It seems to be bringing me a lot of business, but I cannot fathom how you people find me.” he said as he looked her over. She was a very pretty young woman to his assessment, long brown hair that was tied in a loose tail, wearing a tight purple shirt and jeans that showed off her curves. She was, as the parlance seemed to go these days, “Thick” and he admired how much she seemed to show it off in her outfit choices.

“Sorry?” She asked curiously.

“Oh never mind me, silly fool going on about very little. I think I have a solution to your problem.” he said as he held up a yellow folder that he had dug out in the back room. “A contract to clown!” he said with a proud voice. “Standard revenge contract. On receipt of payment” he said with a pause as he patted the envelope that she had provided him with quite a bit of cash inside. “We at the Joke Shop will provide a clown envoy to meet and transform the humans of your choice, where they will be transported to our realm and be employees at the shop for a period of time to be determined by the contract holder, me.”

He glanced at her with a blink.

“Sound right?” he asked her, to which she simply nodded for a moment.

“Will you be the one transforming them?” Ashley asked.

“I am a bit busy to be stepping out myself, sadly, but I think I have just the perfect clown for this situation. She has experience with revenge plots such as this. Let me see if I can get her to do it.” he said picking up his colorful cell phone. 

“Yes. Hello, it’s me. Oh I know it’s been ages!” he said. “You know something just dropped in my lap at the store that I think would be a home run for you, a trip back to your roots. You interested? Oh my goodness, that’s wonderful! See you soon.”

“She’s in!” he added as he hung up the phone, and a few moments later, the beaded curtains burst open.

“Hi there!” said a bubbly clown woman with massive breasts wrapped in a tight pink dress. Her hair was pink and purple and on top sat a small tiara.

“Name’s Queenie, darling!” she added, introducing herself to the young human woman before her. Her skin was pink, almost matching her dress, but it was more bubblegum, while her dress was neon.

“Ashley.” the girl replied with a shy look as she looked the clown over with a curious glance.

“I’m not one of Chuckle’s regular agents of silliness, but he calls me when he has some fun stuff needed. I hear you want to get revenge on some friends of yours.” Queenie asked.

“They are no friends of mine.” Ashley said through gritted teeth. “Hench my purchase of your services.” 

“Well, dear, sign the contract, and you two can get on your way to getting this whole thing underway.” Chuckles said as he wore a big grin.

Ashley didn’t hesitate and took the pen he had placed on his desk and signed her name under his. 

“The deal is sealed. Queenie will clown your enemies. This should be a tremendous success!” he chortled. 

“Let’s get coffee and talk about the girls we are going to show a sillier side to.” Queenie said with a snap of her fingers, grabbing Ashley by the wrist, and they disappeared from the shop with a puff of smoke. 

“Something about this just feels right” Chuckles said as he stored the contract away, whistling Camptown Racers to himself as he wandered to the back room.

~O~

“How do you take your coffee?” said the sweet voice of the clown she had met at the store. She blinked. How had they gotten where they were. She looked around and saw it was the local cafe not far from her apartment. They were in her favorite booth.

“What the heck?”

“Coffee, dear, how do you drink it?” Queenie asked.

“Oh, I drink it black.” she said, confused.

The clown snapped her fingers and two cups appeared before them, steaming coffee in each, her own with a small bit of cream, giving it a swirled appearance.

“So, you want me to change some friends of yours into clowns then, huh?” the clown asked as she picked up her beverage and began to drink it. 

“Yes, that is the idea. I saw a video online of a prom night from…” Ashley started to say, before the clown nodded her head.

“Ah, yes, Jen-Jen’s infamous prom night! Honestly so inspiring!” Queenie noted. “I owe a lot to her, you know.” she added with a knowing smirk. 

“Hard to believe it’s real.” Ashley stated. “I mean, even with all the evidence I unearthed about the shop and the prom night…” she said.

“Yes, I was rather impressed. Most don’t know how to find us on purpose. Most stumble into it. In fact, I can only think of a few who have done it before, including the prom you are so fond of. You said you find it hard to believe. Would you like me to prove it to you? Give you a little taste.”

“I don’t want to become…” she started, but the clown waved her off.

“Nonsense, I didn’t mean you, sweet thing. I can show you a demonstration on the cute waitress over there.” Queenie informed the momentarily frightened human. “What say you?” 

She nodded, glad the clown had not set sights on her. “I guess I could watch it work in person before I set you loose.”

“Oh goodie.” the clown said rubbing her hands together. She then stood up and walked over to the waitress, who turned around almost spilling a tray of empty cups. 

“Oh I am so sorry” the waitress said with a startled squeak in her throat. “I didn’t see you there.”

“I have a tendency to sneak up on people, which in this outfit is quite the gift, no?” Queenie said. “You’d think I’d stick out like a sore thumb.” 

Ashley noticed that while she was talking to the girl, she had secretly taken a small pouch of something from her cleavage and took some of its contents and sprinkled it on the unsuspecting waitress. It glowed a bit as it fell around her, and she blinked as she suddenly froze in place.

 It happened rather quickly, but the woman began to change before Ashely’s eyes, seemingly unnoticed by anyone but herself, the clown doing it. Even the woman being changed was glassy-eyed and unresponsive.

Her hair swirled upwards into a massive beehive style, turning a deep shade of blue as it did, like thick frosting on a cupcake. Her skin was getting paler and paler by the minute. Her lips were larger and wider, smiling as her expression changed from blank and confused to one of happiness. 

Her chest began to expand under her waitress outfit, as did her hips and ass, getting a cartoonishly oversized hourglass shape in the process. Her outfit changed too, getting more colorful and expanding to fit her new assets. 

Her shoes grew larger and more bulbous and gloved formed on her hands. When she shook her head and began to move again, there was a silly clown waitress. 

“Gawrsh, Sorry I bumped into you. You just fit right in with all the silliness here.” she said with a giggle. “Can I get ya something?”

“Oh no, I was just heading back to my table, but thank you!” Queenie said with a bow. Ashley gave her a quiet golf clap.

“That was amazing! And so simple too.” she said.

“Very easy to do a basic clown transformation. It’s basically what I was made to do.” the clown replied. “So tell me a bit about these girls you are having trouble with and we’ll see about getting them on the sillier side of things. 

Over the next hour and several cups of coffee delivered with enthusiasm by the new clown waitress, Ashley unfolded her tale of woe, and the girls that had wronged her. 

“So you got a pretty girl, a cheerleader, and a former best friend who treats you like dirt, is that just about the gist of it?”

“Yeah that would be it” Ashley said with a smile. 

“This’ll be easy-peasy. Any requests for them?” 

“I just want their fates to be...fitting, you know.”

“I think I know just what you mean, Ashley.” Queenie replied. “Something strange and ugly for the pretty girl, making the cheerleader uncoordinated and doofy, and well, I think I have something in mind for your former bestie.”

“I trust you will come up with excellent fates for each” She said. 

“Oh, it will be glorious. Shall we begin?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be” she chuckled as she thought of her friends getting what was coming to them, and she smiled almost as wide as Queenie. 

TO BE CONTINUED