The Women's Job - I Don't Have a Choice - Chapter 6

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He then went over to the door, saying, 'Just a minute, here."  He made sure it was closed and then locked it. He then came back and took Ashley's hands in his saying, "Come on, let's sit down over here and talk about it."

Sort of surprised and a little relieved, although she was a little confused as to why he closed and locked the door, she continued to let herself be manipulated by him and they sat down on the couch with Brad keeping both her hands in his. 

He had positioned her on one end of the couch so that she really had no room to move as she was up against both the back and the fully padded sidearm.  Brad sat down extremely close to her, which made Ashley feel a little uncomfortable.  She asked, "Why did you lock the door and.." 

 "I think we're about to have a serious conversation and I want to make sure no one interrupts us or unexpectedly enters and overhears anything or gets the wrong idea.  It's to protect you and me. I hope you understand." 

 "Oh, yes, I see.  

That's a good thing, I would guess."  

He nodded and then said, "Ashley, I just want the best for you.  I think you have a great future in this company being my assistant, keeping me organized, and reviewing these documents.  That will all help me move up the corporate ladder and as far as I go, you'll go right with me.  

So far, everything you've done yesterday and today, all you've had to learn and do, you've done exceptionally well. I see that you're already keeping my appointment calendar up to date, and I know you've been going through those documents I gave you.  

And besides, I really appreciate you taking in and picking up my dry cleaning.  

That's saved me a lot of time and has allowed me to be as productive as I know I'm able."  Ashley replied, "Thank you for all those kind words, I don't know if I'm all that. I'm just trying to do my best."  

"Well, I think you're doing great, and you deserve praise when it's rightfully earned."  

She blushed a little again but tried to get back to what she wanted to say, "Mr. Austin.." 

 "Please, it's Brad."  She sighed and continued, "Brad?"  He gave her a huge smile at that and squeezed her hands slightly.  She went on, "It's just that these last two days, they've been wonderful and all, and I really like my job, but, it's just, well, I mean, you've been awfully close and everything..." 

"Ashley, I've known some transgendered young women, and I'm very accepting of how they, and you, are. I want the best for you, but I'm guessing you're still quite new to being what you now are. And let me tell you, you are a very attractive young woman.  Someone I'm sure lots of young men would absolutely love to go out with and spend time and maybe even have a relationship."  

"Oh, I don't know about that..."  "Trust me, as pretty as you are, before you know it, you'll be asked out a lot.  I just don't want to see you hurt in any way at all. At least until you've had some experience and know how to handle it.  Like last evening when we went to dinner."  

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did."  

"No, you did nothing wrong at all.  You were very polite, and charming, had excellent manners and you were a wonderful companion. 

Having been out to dinner with a lot of attractive young women, I did notice that you were still just a little hesitant in doing things, choosing the right tableware, even holding your wine glass. 

You did nothing wrong, but I could tell that you were perhaps a little nervous about things that women with experience don't even think about."  

"Oh! I didn't know..."  

"I'm not trying to criticize you in the least.  What I'm trying to do for you is give you lots of experience in going out in social situations so you feel totally comfortable doing everything you feel like.  Like dinner last night or going to the theater tonight.  

The more things you do like that, the more you'll feel good about yourself, and the more natural you'll be.  And since I'm fully aware and very supportive of how you are, you won't have to worry in the least about how I'm thinking about you."  

"Oh, I think I understand."  

"Good.  You know, I think of it like you're a little bird just learning to fly.  Eventually, you'll leave the nest and go off on your own, and find others, but while you're still learning, I just want to make sure you're safe and protected from harm so that when you do leave, you'll feel confident in yourself.  Like that kiss last night.  

That was a token of my affection for you, as you exceeded so many of my expectations of what I wanted for an assistant.  Like I've said, I like you very much, Ashley, and want the best for you. 

Giving you that kiss was just something I felt I could do for you to help you grow in your experiences."  All the time he was telling her this, he had released his left from her hands and was slowly edging closer, including slipping his left arm along the back of the couch behind her. 

He still held both her hands in his right.  He continued, "I hope you're not misunderstanding how I'm trying to help you.  Like how I gave you the ride this morning just to make it a little easier coming to work today, your first full day. I would expect you to be taking the bus to and from here quite often going forward.  Same with bringing your lunch.  

If you do bring a lunch on Monday, I'll show you the employee break and lunch room, and introduce you to some of the other employees.  And like going to the theater tonight, maybe next weekend I can take you to one of those new movie openings.  The other weeknights I'll probably be busy.  How would you like that?"  

"Um, yes, that would be nice, thank you."  

Ashley was feeling a little better about Brad and what he was expecting.  She was very happy that he seemed to understand and accept that she was still somewhat male appearing underneath, although she wasn't exactly sure that she was whatever it was called, cross-dresser or transvestite. 

Or maybe just transgendered.  Maybe it was a good thing what he was suggesting.  She could sort of explore all that and feel really comfortable without having a close relationship.  Maybe they would go to dinner and the theater and he'd just take her back to her place.  They'd kiss at the most and he'd leave.  

She could live with that, and it did sound sort of enjoyable. And she had to admit to herself that thinking back on the kiss, she sort of did like it, a little maybe.  

And maybe she did like Brad, even a little more, especially with all that he had been saying now.  

"Good, I'm happy you feel that way.  Like I said, you're really a very attractive young woman, I'd even say beautiful."  

"Oh, I'm not..."  

"Ashley, yes you are. I know you were at the salon yesterday, but today, you even look prettier than yesterday, and I'm guessing you did your own makeup and everything this morning.  Am I right?"  

"Yes. It's just that..."  

"You are much too modest.  Enjoy being the woman you are, the gorgeous young woman who has a great job, and has a fantastic future ahead of her.  

And with someone who cares about her very deeply, showing her the way, and who's helping her become the woman she's always wanted to be."  She had been looking down, a little embarrassed by all his praise and barely paying attention to how they now were. 

He had his left arm slowly moving onto her back just below her neck, and he gently let go of her hands, moved his right hand up to her chin and lifted it up so that her eyes were now locked onto his.  

"I do care a lot about you, Ashley. Ever since I walked out of my office yesterday, I realized I was in the presence of a very special young woman, someone who was finding herself and wanting to like herself a lot.  

Someone who was ready to take the next steps forward in her journey of being the woman of her dreams.  You're that woman, Ashley, and you deserve every compliment you receive, and every token of affection anyone can give."  With that, he moved her chin up and his head towards her and their lips met in another kiss.  

She wasn't as surprised as she had been last night, and, closing her eyes, in a way welcomed his advances, having liked everything he had been saying to her.  

He seemed like someone who maybe understood her and accepted her for exactly who she was right now, and who she might actually become in the future. Right now, that seemed a very reasonable and even attainable future.  

He pulled back after a moment or two as she just relaxed there in his arms, enjoying the moment, wondering if all kisses from men could be like this.  She finally roused and with a little concern asked, "Should we be doing this?"  

"Ashley, it's Friday afternoon, and a lot of workers are already taking off for a fun weekend.  

We've spent the last day and a half working hard, and we deserve some relaxation and moments of sharing our appreciation for each other.  Being a man and a woman."  

And he kissed her again.  Here again, was a very handsome man kissing her, telling her she was all woman, and showing that he appreciated so much about her.  

This was now far more romantic than she had ever imagined a moment like this might be, far beyond those fleeting moments of bits of dreams over the years. 

She decided to just let go and relax into his arms, letting him hold her, and like he said, protect her as she took little steps to open up her wings.  

After a moment or two of the embrace, as they pulled back, and with her eyes still closed, just enjoying the moment, he put his hands on either side of her waist and pulled her gently but firmly across his lap so that her left arm was over his right shoulder and she was now sitting, on his lap and leaning into him. She was a little surprised by this, but even more so by how easily he had lifted and moved her.  

He must be very strong, she thought.  

They kissed once more, shared some more verbal compliments, and then he started exploring her a little more by gently and lightly moving his left hand and fingers over her body, barely caressing parts of her. 

She was now feeling all sorts of emotions as he did that and had a tightening down between her legs.  

For a moment, she enjoyed the experience, still relaxing in his embrace. And then she started thinking about what she was feeling. Initially, there was a feeling of contentment, as she felt like those dreams from a past time, were now coming true.  

But she also began understanding what he was now doing, and she awoke from her almost trance-like state and became fully aware of his hands on her, and then, where they seemed to be going, and everything else he was doing. It all definitely seemed to be leading to a place she didn't think or now feel she wanted or was even ready to go.  

She sat up and quickly and purposely unwrapped his arms from around her, and slid off his lap so that she was sitting on the couch with some space between them before he could respond and said, "Brad, I don't know, but I think this isn't right at all."  "What do you mean?" he said seeming amazed a little.  

"Well, I truly appreciate all the confidence you've shown in me, and everything you've done for me, but I really don't think it's a good idea for us to go any further, like this. I...I think we're going way too far as it is.  

I like everything you've said, but maybe, oh, we should...," She took a breath, "well, maybe I shouldn't go out with you tonight."  

He smiled with almost a laugh, which surprised her as he replied, "Of course, we'll be going out tonight.  

I've got the tickets and a dinner reservation already made.  

Don't get so concerned, I'm only trying to show you that I really enjoy being with you, and I just want to show you the affection and closeness that you deserve and I'm guessing even enjoy.  

Come on back here, come in close with me, and let's talk some more."  

"I...I can't.  I don't know, maybe a lot of what you have been saying about me is true, but I'm just not anywhere near ready for the kind of close relationship you...you seem to want. 

If anything, I truly need you to slow down...a lot, maybe even take a step back...or more."  

"You want me to slow down? Step back? I'm not sure what you mean."  "It's something that's been building for these last two days.  

I'm becoming very uncomfortable when you come to my desk and get in so close to me when you're helping me, like when you're hovering over me, and I can feel, well, like your chest against my body or your hand on my back. 

I do sincerely appreciate all the help and concern you have been providing and, but from a professional standpoint I don't believe we should be that close in the office, at least there...here. 

 It's just getting way too intimate to be acceptable for what I believe it should be."  

"Well, that intimacy with you that I've been showing was exactly what I was expecting when I hired you yesterday. 

Didn't you understand? You certainly seemed to like going out to dinner with me, spending the evening together, having me buy all those nice outfits for you, and especially last night's goodnight kiss. 

Now, lunch today, and from what I can tell, you practically jumped into my arms just a few moments ago and really liked being as close as we were.  

Exactly what did you expect me to do?"  She slowly stood and said, "Brad, Mr. Austin, what I expect and I would hope any employee expects is a strictly professional relationship, more so when we're in the office and working together.  

Maybe sometime in several months down the road, maybe we might become closer, and start a relationship outside the office, but definitely not now and not here. Not when I know so little about you, and not just starting a new job."  

She could tell his tone was changing and not for the better as he said, "Well if that's how you feel, I have little use for you. I can get secretaries a dime a dozen just as good as you if I wanted," he paused, then continued, "What I want is a very close relationship with my assistant, besides what you have already shown as far as assignments. 

And, anyway, if you really didn't want me to be as close as I have been, you could easily have refused my kiss last night, and even more so, these several again just now.  

Seems to me you're saying one thing, but really, you do want my attention...and my intimacy."  

Realizing that this wasn't going the way she wanted at all, she turned and went to the door and unlocked it, then turned back to him for a moment, and after taking another breath and understanding what she now had to say, said "If that's what you want, I can't work for you anymore, I.

I quit!"  She hated to say that, as she had just thought that things may actually be working out, but he crossed whatever line there was in employer-employee relationships by pulling her onto his lap and then starting to fondle her.

  She began realizing that she really should have stopped it a lot sooner.  

He raised his voice in a demanding tone, "If you go out that door don't ever come back!"  

She completely ignored him and walked to her desk, gathered her things, and headed to the outer door and the hallway, getting more upset and disappointed by the moment.  Just before she got through the outer door, he came to the inner doorway and said, "I never did like you. 

You're just a slut out to tease guys. You would have eventually failed here anyway. 

 So, since you're not working out at all, you're immediately fired as of now.  Get out."  

Ashley again was almost in tears as she shut the door behind her and rushed down the hall as fast as she possibly could, practically running, and now with those last words still ringing in her ears.  

She had to get away from that horrible Mr. Austin as soon as possible.  

Seeing the elevator just ahead she started thinking about what she now needed to do, other than get away from this place in a hurry.  Any chance at a job here was now gone forever.  

Even if she applied to another division, no doubt they would find her or his name somewhere, contact Mr. Austin for information and he would tell them to forget all about her.  

Her life wasn't over, but it was close, she felt.  Now thinking about all that happened and with her head down, she just berated herself over and over.  

Why did she have these thoughts and even urges?  Why did she let that Jen get her looking this way? 

Yes, she felt sort of a giddiness or something, a feeling that she now looked like she had dreamt a number of times. Well, she realized she looked even better than that...a lot better, a whole lot better.  

And was feeling so much more...comfortable...and right.  But where did it lead her?  

She just knew that these thoughts would eventually cause some serious problems and it looked like what she suspected would happen if they continued or she allowed herself to experiment even a little, was now coming true.  And what if she couldn't find another job?