Are You Trying Turning Me Into A Sissy

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Chapter 41  - Changes.

The next morning Chris dressed as usual.  He was wearing nude tights and made no attempt to hide them.  

He said very little and looked sad.  I told him that I loved him before he left.  

At about 10am Jess came to see me and check that I was okay.  

"Just remember that Victoria loves you and so do I.  It will be okay."  

An hour later Julie came into my office.  

"Hi," I said but kept my eyes down.  "Hi, to you too.  Chris, I know that you are having a hard time over this so let me speak.  Everyone in this salon loves you and we all know that you dress.  Well, most suspect anyway.  

I don't think that anyone would care and if they did they could leave and if any customers had a problem they could go elsewhere too.  

I was serious about the job.  You could run the reception and do the other work that you do for me.  I would pay you of course.  

You know that I am looking to expand and I will need to spend more time away to sort that out.  

I would trust you to look after things in my absence more than anyone else on the staff, except perhaps Jess but she is too young and inexperienced for that. Speak to your other clients."  

"Thank you.  You are very kind and I am thinking about it but I'm scared."  "Take your time.  Just one thing, if you go for this it needs to be for the duration of Mary's leave you can't change back halfway through." 

"Okay that's fair enough."  

"Jess doesn't have any clients until after lunch.  Why don't you take her out? But no kissing as Mrs Bradley saw you doing." 

"I thought you told her not to gossip." 

"I did.  But I also know that she was telling the truth."  

I went to get Jess and we went for a meal.  It helped.  She calmed me down and promised to be my personal hairdresser and make-up artist.  

"I can't wait to go shopping with you and Victoria."  

"What did the two of you talk about last night?"  

"Whatever she said."  

"She didn't say much."  

"Well, there you have it.  We did not say very much."  

We went on to talk about her new look.  In the last couple of weeks, she had started dressing to emphasize her figure and used more dramatic make-up.  

"You have been putting me to shame and I have told my dad that I have grown up and I'm not his little girl anymore.  

He didn't take it too well."  

Victoria and I spoke for hours that night.  We did not decide anything just rehashed old ground.  However, I did resolve to talk to some of my clients.  The following day I plucked up the courage to go and see two of my clients.  

Both of them said that they knew that I wore women's underwear and they both said that they did not care how I dressed as long as I made every effort to look good and not like a caricature.  

I was relieved and decided that whilst I was on a roll I would go and see Clive, my contact at the software company.  

He was very surprised but said that he did not care how I dressed it was my work he wanted and in any case, we rarely met in person.  

"If you do decide to do this I do want to meet the other you and take her to lunch."  

"That is very kind, but why?"  

"I like you and I'm trying hard to be supportive.  I want to show you that I would be happy to be seen in public with you."  

I was chuffed and excited.  As I drove back to the office - I had decided.  I did not say anything to Julie or Jess.  

I left work early and stopped to buy wine and a couple of steaks.  Then I dashed home.  I stripped and dressed.  

I put on the little black dress that I had worn last Friday with the corset, sheer stockings, and the highest black heels that I owned.  

I did my make-up, hair, and nail polish.  

I had everything ready for Victoria to arrive home.  She smiled when she saw me and went to change without saying anything.  She was about half an hour and wore the same clothes she had worn last Friday.  We cooked and ate and talked about her day.  

"Okay, I cannot stand it any longer.  Did you go and see your other clients?"  "Yes."  

And I told her about how it had gone.  I also told her that Clive had said that he would take me to lunch to prove that he was supportive.  

"So you have reached a decision."  

"Yes.  I am going to do it.  I will speak to Julie tomorrow to check that she is serious about the job.  You do know that she asked me to commit to the whole of Mary's leave." 

 "That makes sense.  You do realize that she will be off for at least six months and possibly nine?"  

"I had just assumed six months but it does not matter does it.  I do have a question for you, well two actually."  

"Okay, go for it."  

"Are you sure that you are okay with this and what will I, we, do at the end of the six or nine months however long it turns out to be?"  

"Firstly I cannot tell you how excited I am that you are going to do this.  I will add that we are going to do this as well as we can and I have no idea what we will do at the end.  That is something that we will deal with then"  "Okay, I'll do it."  "We need to plan this.  

I suggest that you take two weeks off to get ready.  You are going to need to change a few things.  You will have to learn to drop some male mannerisms.  You need to get longer nails and you need to have your eyebrows done.  

That will make the biggest change. I think that you should go dramatic and remove any doubts that anyone has.  Jess has offered to help and we should involve her as much as you are comfortable with. 

 We also need to do some shopping for more clothes and we need to clear out your wardrobes."  

"Of course, I will need more room."  

"And get rid of Chris's stuff." 

 "Get rid of it?"  

"Well put it into storage at least.  We can start on Saturday when we get back from the piercings.  

Oh, and we can add another to each ear. Oh, I think that you should get Jess to give you a new hairstyle.  We both think that she can do something with your own hair."  

"She said that?"  

"Yes and now I'm going to phone her."  An hour later we were in bed.  I ate Victoria out for an hour, then made love to her, and then she lowered herself over my mouth and made me clean her and she came again several times.    

The next morning I went to see Julie and confirmed the arrangements.  I called all of my clients over the phone and confirmed my plans.  Jess took me to lunch. 

"I am delighted that you have made a decision. Looks like I have a big sister now instead of a brother."  

"Two big sisters actually."  

We spoke about our plans and confirmed that she would be at our house on Sunday morning for my makeover.  

"Actually, come over on Saturday evening after you finish work and you can stay the night."    

Victoria had phoned the tattoo parlour to arrange an appointment for Saturday and that afternoon we arrived to be met by the tattooist who had done my others.  

"So you are going to have your nipples done.  Don't worry I have a numbing agent that will eliminate most of the pain.  It will be fine. We do have to decide on the size of the adornments."  

"I had not given that much thought.  I just assumed a barbell," said Victoria. 

 "That would be the best choice initially but we need to think about the thickness.  

Thin ones are less obvious but thicker ones give you more options later.  You can switch to rings in a smaller gauge.  If you start small going thicker is nearly as bad as starting over.  I suggest these." 

 It was clear that they were thicker than Victoria had been expecting. "Don't worry under a bra you won't really be able to see them.  Without a bra, they will be obvious."  

She went for the thicker ones.  There was not too much pain and they looked very sexy but I was warned to leave them alone until they were healed.  Then Victoria said, "Now it's her turn.  From tomorrow he will be Melissa and we need to make some changes."  The tattooist smiled and said, "I knew it and am so pleased to be able to help.  

What are we doing?" 

"Another piercing in each ear, same on both sides, gold studs for now. Then a single one higher up on the right and use this one."  

Victoria produced a diamond stud that looked familiar.  "Isn't that one from a pair that I gave you?" I asked.  

"Yes, it is and I want the other one in my right ear in the same place." 

 "Anything else?" asked the tattooist.  

"We discussed extending the tattoos.  What did you decide?"  I took a deep breath.  "I decided that I would go ahead with it but that I would let you decide.  

Anything as long as it is tasteful.  

"Are you sure?" 

 "Yes."  

They went into a huddle.  

Then the piercings were done.  Things were moving quickly.  Ten minutes later after a conversation that I could not overhear, I was told to lie on my right side.  I could feel another design being placed over the left hip.  It seemed pretty small.  

I was about to move when I was told to lie still.  I said nothing and then felt the tattooist go to work on another one this time further to the back of the hip and it felt a bit larger.  When that was done she extended the ribbon that linked them.  

I stood and looked in the mirror.  The first one was smaller and yellow color the final one was also yellow but paler and it was larger it must have been about two inches across but it was beautiful.  

"Wow, thank you," was all I could say.   "We can extend them anytime and anywhere else when you are ready but any more and they are going to be visible in your underwear, a swimsuit, a backless dress or through a sheer blouse."  

"Oh, she will be back once she has decided where we go."  Victoria was grinning.  I was very nervous and shyly asked, "Do you still have some time?"  

"Yes, I've got about thirty minutes until my next client.  Did you want something else?"  Victoria was astonished and just stared at me. 

 I produced a drawing of three stars and said, "I would like this design on the side of my right foot, please."  Half an hour later I had three small stars on the side of my foot.  

They would not be seen if I was wearing boots but would be in anything else.  Victoria was astonished. 

We left the shop we headed for the nearby cafe.  I now had eight tattoos and even now I knew that there were going to be more.  

It seemed to make sense to carry on the butterflies up the back but should they stop at the neck or go towards the right shoulder, I didn't know.  Victoria was watching me when I looked up. 

 "I asked if you wanted coffee and something to eat."  

"Just coffee, watching my figure," I joked.  "I hope to watch your figure later, in some detail.  What were you thinking about just then?"  

"Oh, I was just thinking about the tattoos."  "You were just thinking about where you were going to get the next one." I blushed and that answered her question.    

At tea time Jess arrived and kissed both Victoria and me.  

I noticed Victoria wince as Jess hugged her.  We arranged for food to be delivered and opened some wine.  We chatted about work and asked Jess how things were at home. 

"My Dad is just the same and his drinking is getting worse.  I'm afraid that if I leave home he will slide into the gutter so for now I will stay and do my best for him.  Half the time he doesn't know if I'm there and when he does speak he accuses me of being a slut and screwing every guy in the town."  

"Does he know about Clare?" 

 "He has met her but thinks that we are just girlfriends and not lovers. Actually, I enjoy spending time with her and having sex but I know that this is not love."  "That's a shame."  

"I feel more love for the two of you so I know that when I find the one person it will be much different."  We finished eating.  Jess got up and started to clear the dishes away and I got up to help.  

As Jess reached for a glass she brushed past Victoria's breast and she gasped and flinched. 

 "Sorry Victoria it was an accident, but what's wrong? That made you wince.  Are you okay?"  

"I'm fine, just a little sore."  

"Why, are you pregnant?  Sorry that was rude and none of my business."  

"No, I'm not."  Jess was clearly concerned.  

"Do you have a lump?  Have you checked? Have you been to see someone about it?"  

"Jess I am not ill, I do not have a lump or cancer.  I had my nipples pierced today and they are bloody sore."  

I wish that I had had a camera to capture Jess's expression. "What?  I mean why? Oh shit, ignore me it's none of my business. Wow."  

"It was a promise that I made."  

"Okay. Wow.  Can I ask why you made such a promise?" 

"It was a challenge."  

"Okay.  I get the feeling that I should stop asking stupid questions.  I suspect that this is none of my business.  I bet that they look great though."  

We sat chatting for a while longer with another glass of wine.  Victoria was pretty quiet and then she stunned Jess and me as she turned and looked directly at Jess.  "Would you like to see them?"  

"What?" said a surprised Jess and I in unison.  

"I asked if you would like to see them?  He's seen yours."  

And with that, she unbuttoned her blouse.  She was sitting on the sofa near Jess and turned her back towards her and said, "Could you unfasten my bra as it is sore to reach back."  Jess rubbed her hands to make sure they were not cold and reached up.  I could see her hands shake.  

"Victoria, this is none of my business, I don't need to see and remember I had a crush on you." 

 "Get in with it."  Jess undid the clasp and Victoria let the straps fall down her arms before putting the bra to one side.  

She exhaled and said,  "That's better.  The bra was making them sore."  

She turned side on.  I was stunned even though I had seen the barbells earlier when they were first done.  

Her breasts were magnificent and the additions looked stunning.  Jess put her hand over her mouth and her eyes were huge as she took in the view. It took a while before she said, "Holy shit!  They are beautiful and the jewellery looks stunning. 

 I need a cold shower now! I have an overwhelming desire to reach out and touch them and I am so embarrassed."  She was bright red and passed Victoria the blouse and said, "Please put this on."  

No one spoke for a couple of minutes.  That was one of the hottest things that I have ever seen.  Jess was the first to speak. 

 "I need something a little stronger than wine now.  I decided that we should go to the salon tomorrow as it will be easier for me to work there.  I've checked that it's okay with Julie. I will do your manicure and hair there, but I could do your toenails now.  

It would give me something to concentrate on and save time tomorrow.  

I could do yours as well Victoria."  Jess set up a basin to soak our feet.  She had noticed the star tattoos. "I'm going to guess that you had them done today.  They look recent." 

 "Yes, I had them done at the same time as Victoria had her piercings' done."  

The next hour was spent with Jess giving us a pedicure.  

They looked great.  "What was the bet?  Can you tell me, is it safe and you can tell me to mind my own business?"  I looked at Victoria and she nodded.  

"She can tell you the background and I will be back soon."  

Victoria explained about me liking heels and the joke about the ballet boots and how I had trained when she was away and then worn them for the weekend.  That was when I reappeared wearing the outfit I wore with the boots the first time.  Jess's jaw hit the floor.  

"Oh fuck that is astonishing.  How long did it take to be able to do that?"  

I explained how I had adapted.  "Wow, it is so sexy.  I have discovered two things this evening."  

"What are they?" asked Victoria.  "I would love to get my nipples pierced and I want to try a pair of those one day," she said indicating the boots.  I thought for a minute.  

"What size shoe do you take?"  It turned out that she and I wore the same size of shoes, a size larger than Victoria's. 

"Want to try now?"  She simply nodded.  I removed the boots and Jess sat back on the couch.  

Victoria put the boots on her and fastened them.  As she was doing so Jess said, "Victoria do you realize that I can see right down the front of your blouse? 

 I'm not complaining but I don't want you to be embarrassed."  

"It's probably a bit late for that.  Does it turn you on?" Victoria asked jokingly. 

"Well, that and you handling my feet and legs."  

"Don't make a damp patch on my sofa."  "It may be too late for that as well."  

Jess took a few minutes to get used to the position of her feet and ankles and Victoria moved a chair beside the couch.  Jess tried to stand.  We were all surprised that she managed to stand but could not take a step.  

"They feel incredible but you could never wear them outside could you?" 

 Over the next hour, Victoria told the other part of the story of our weekend in Manchester.  The bit about my wearing the ballet boots.  

Jess sat sipping her drink with her mouth open in astonishment.  

"You brazen devil.  Clearly, there is a lot that I don't know." 

 "The tattoo on her foot is not her only one.  But I doubt if she will show it to you.  It is a bit intimate."  

Jess just shook her head.  We decided to call it a night and headed up to bed.  By coincidence, Jess came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her as Victoria was passing the door.  

"So you don't drop your towel for everyone?" joked Victoria.  

"No, I don't. It was an accident as I told you."  She hesitated.  

"But you showed me yours."  And dropped the towel.  

She stood for maybe ten seconds, stark naked. 

 I had heard the exchange and looked along the hall.  I gasped and they both looked at me.  Jess picked up her towel and Victoria asked, "What?" 

 "I only saw Jess naked for those few seconds that time and for a second then but seeing the two of you side by side I see the similarities. Aside from the hair color, the shape of your face is slightly different.  

But your bodies are extraordinarily similar."  Jess and Victoria looked at one another.  Victoria grabbed Jess's wrist and led her to the large mirror in our bedroom.  

Victoria peeled off her blouse, stepped out of her shoes and skirt, and stood in front of the mirror.  Jess stood beside her and handed me her towel.  I stood gawping.  It was astonishing everything was so similar.  Victoria stepped out of her panties and Jess gasped. 

 "You shave."  

Victoria grabbed two robes and handed one to Jess and they covered up, a little.  "Actually I don't shave I had all of my hair removed."  

"Where did you get that done, was it sore?"  She pointed at me.  

"We have a laser device.  Whilst we are sharing intimate secrets, I did his too."  

"No."  I was wearing a cotton robe and a pair of low-cut panties.  I opened the robe and slid the waistband down and showed Jess my tattoos, well all but the first one.  Jess looked stunned.  

"I've had plenty to drink and it's possible that I have been dreaming for the last couple of hours.  

Now I am going to bed and will apologize in advance if I make a noise but there is something that I need to take care of."  She turned and walked away.  

Victoria and I laughed and climbed into bed.  We held each other for a while and talked about the evening's events.  

"I don't know about you but I enjoyed this evening.  I never in my life thought that I would have done the things that I have done tonight.  Some of that was brazen, slutty, and downright sexy." 

 "It was a strange evening."  "I love that girl.  She is open and honest and witty and beautiful."  "I was correct, the two most beautiful women in the world.  And I have slept with them both."  I joked.  "Shared a bed!  You ever lay a finger on that girl sexually and I will kill you stone dead."  "I would never do that to you."  "I know, but somehow I could understand if you did."  We did not hear Jess making any noise that night.    

The next morning I was up and making breakfast, in a housecoat, when Jess and Victoria arrived in the kitchen together both also wearing robes.  

They had clearly been talking before they reached the kitchen about how sore Victoria's nipples were this morning.  Jess said,  "Morning Missy." In my direction and then turned back to Victoria.  

"I lay awake last night thinking about what happened during the evening.  I want to thank you for your openness and honesty with me.  I have never felt so loved and safe and by the time I got to bed I was so horny." 

She blushed.  

"But I decided that I want to get my hair removed as well, I have never liked it and tried shaving once but it was horrible.  I think that I want my nipples done as well."  

"Are you sure about both of those things?  You are young and you can't really go back."  

"Oh yes.  I want to experience and do things.  You know about my crush and that you are a bit of a hero and you are only nine years older than me. 

 If it's right for you I want to do it.  Now let's get breakfast and get to the salon.  I'm going to be busy turning my brother into my sister."  

We changed into casual clothes but in my case, it was a skirt and blouse with heels.  No makeup and no wig and I was about to leave the house. The truth is I was excited and looking forward to my new look.  Jess started with filing my nails and adding nail extensions.  

They were very long but she told me not to worry as they would be filed back.  She gave Victoria a book of pictures of hairstyles and nail shapes.  They left me sitting and went to make coffee.  

When they came back Jess asked me, "I know that you told me about hairstyles and what you had thought about.  I'm not sure that they are correct for your own hair and face shape.  

I have an idea and I have discussed it with Vic and she agrees.  

Will you let me do my stuff?"  I was stunned.  I had never heard anyone call Victoria 'Vic'.  Someone had once called her Vicky and she had given them a right telling off. Victoria never blanched at Jess's use of the name.  

"Well if you and Vic have decided, do what you think best."  

That was my response.  

"She called me Vic by accident and I was about to correct her but I decided not to.  She can call me that.  It seems that I'm up for changes too.  

A shortened name pierced tits.  I've kissed a girl and stood naked comparing bodies with another woman."  

She shook her head.  "But to you, it's still Victoria."  Jess laughed and I frowned.  

Jess went to work watched closely by Victoria.  

My hair was washed and dyed a dark red.  She cut quite a lot off, or so it seemed and did some work to style it.  When it was dried she showed me my new hair, my own hair.  It was just touching my shoulders and seemed thicker.  

It had some curl and was center parted.  I loved it.  "It's not wildly girly but very feminine for everyday wear.  You don't want to draw too much attention at least not until you gain confidence.  

When you get used to it we can discuss how you want to change it but I am now your hairdresser and if you let anyone else touch it, I will kill you.  Are we clear?"  Jess was not smiling.  Victoria was.  

"Okay.  Now we need to start on your nails again."  

Jess sat ages filing and trimming my nails and I loved the attention.  She applied a first coat of polish and selected a beige nude color. 

 "This will get you used to the nail length, will look okay if it gets some damage, and given the length that is likely to happen.  It needs some more coats but that will need to dry first.  

Much the same as the hair, I will do your nails but you or Vic can touch them up if you need to."  I sat looking at the nails they were beautiful but at least half an inch longer than my fingers.  

"I've had a thought," said Jess.  "I'm going to teach you beauty tips so that you can manage your own regime better but I am also going to make sure that you become very proficient at doing nails so that you can do Vic's.  She is a busy woman and that is a way that you can help her." Victoria snorted with laughter.  "I was going to teach him about make-up."  

"I know but I want to help, please?"  

There was no way either of us was going to deny that plea. 

 "Now.  Missy you sit there, don't touch anything, and don't speak.  Vic, now it's your turn."  

"What?" 

 "It's your turn.  I'm going to do your hair and nails.  No way she can be pampered and not you too."  

"What do you have in mind?" 

"Well, I think that I would like to trim your hair a little and change the style very slightly.  

It will give you a slightly more sophisticated look and be just as easy to manage.  Then your nails.  You need longer as well, something like hers," she said pointing at me.  

An hour or so later Victoria's hair was done.  I'm not sure what had been done but it lay differently and the couple of inches off of its length made it look more sophisticated.  Victoria loved it and hugged Jess.  

"Thank you, I love it.  I'm going to appoint you as my hairdresser too." 

 "Thank you, of course you are, I'm good.  

But please let go of the hug or I might make a mess here.  I may not be over my crush quite yet."  We all laughed.  

Julie arrived at the salon at that point.  

"I just thought that I would pop in and see how things are going and if Jess needed a hand.  I hope that you don't mind."  

"It is your salon and we are grateful for you letting us use it," said Victoria.  "It doesn't look as if she needs much help.  

Victoria I love your hair. Melissa, you look fabulous.  Jess, you are an artist."  Jess smiled at the compliment. 

"I knew from the start that you were going to be a good hairdresser but you have a great eye and a great beautician as well but I see that you still have to start with make-up." 

 "Thank you, Julie.  Does that mean that you will keep me on when I graduate in a few weeks?" 

 "I am going to handcuff you to a sink.  Now what can I do?"  

"I'm going to work on their nails again but you can do her brows if you would like to."  This was one thing that made me very nervous.  

"Okay.  How far are we going?"  The three of them were talking but I could not hear.  Victoria asked, "Are you okay with whatever we decide?" 

 I simply nodded.  Jess worked on Victoria's nails and applied several more coats of polish to mine.  They looked great.  She did Victoria's almost identically.  

They were not square across the top or pointed as is modern fashion at the moment.  They were classical and rounded. However, I found it hard to concentrate as my brows got smaller even though I could not see what was being done.  

There was lots of consultation being done in between bouts of plucking. I began to worry that I may need tattoos to have any brows.  When they finished I checked the mirror.  They were thinner and arched and very feminine.  As I studied them I realised that they made a huge difference to my face and that it removed almost all of the masculinity.  The three of them waited for a response. 

 "I suppose it looks okay but they are still quite thick aren't they?" 

 Three jaws dropped.  Victoria stuttered. 

 "Well, we could go a bit thinner."  Then I laughed.  

"They look great and I doubt if you could go any thinner."  

Victoria leaned down and whispered in my ear, "When you ask for tits they will be half that thickness." 

 No one else heard that and I went red.  Julie and Victoria chatted whilst Jess did my make-up.  The two of them were in deep conversation and I noticed Julie doing some make-up for Victoria. 

 Jess was chatting to me about my new look, about what had happened the previous evening, and about her work.  

My new look was amazing.  I had very thin eyeliner both above and below each eye.  It was something that I had not tried before and it looked great.  I would need to practice this and ask Jess to show me how. 

"Of course I will but you could get it tattooed when you get your brows done."  

"What?" I asked.  "Just after you get your tits done.  

I heard that comment.  It's okay I will keep it to myself but I may need to go to the bathroom and the shops, my knickers are so damp after last night and today.  

It's a shame that Clare is away."  She left that hanging.  The four of us left the salon and went to the pub for a late lunch.  I felt great. 

 I felt right and did not have any real care about being outed.  

I admit that I was apprehensive about going back to the salon during working hours.  Julie left us and we dropped Jess off at her father's house.  Victoria and I went home and opened some wine.  

"I love your look.  This is going to be great and it will be okay I promise.  

My nails are going to be a challenge tomorrow.  Jess is very skilled."  

"I agree she is and I love this look.  I am going to inventory my wardrobe tomorrow and make a list if things that I might need.  I will do some work here and practice make-up. At some point, I may walk to the shops to get stuff for dinner but I may need a strong brandy first."  

"You will be fine.  We can go shopping on Thursday after I finish and then again at the weekend.  It will be fun.  

I suggest that you arrange to meet Jess one lunchtime.  It will do your confidence good and she will provide you with a comfort blanket." 

 "You like her don't you?" 

 "I do, I really do.  She is amazing and her attitude is great.  I know from things Julie has told me that Jess will not say anything about us. She listens and nods but does not even confirm anything.  

I like having her around."  

She went quiet.  "I need to tell you something and admit something.  She is beautiful and I love her attitude as I have said.  The other night I realised that all of the things that we had done on Saturday had turned me on and it was not just you and I.  She had turned me on." 

 I was astonished.  

"But you aren't gay."  

"No.  I've never had any inclination in that direction but I have to admit that I have thought about it today for the first time.  Don't worry, it is not something that I would ever do, but I wanted to be honest." 

 "It's okay.  I feel a bit the same too."  

"Well, I had thought about her coming here to live if her father's situation got any worse but we had better rule that out and prevent temptation for both of us.  Unless you fancy a threesome?" 

 "Are you joking?"  

"Yes.  I don't want to share you with anyone."  We went to bed early and had sex, leisurely, and rampantly and some of it was just plain filthy.