The Women's Job - I Don't Have a Choice - Chapter 9

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As they were walking up to the bar, Deirdre told Ashley, "This is the most accommodating bar in town, they encourage all different types of people to come, but they demand that things be kept orderly.  

Because of all that it gets crowded in a hurry, as many of the customers are lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and gender fluid, and there are a lot of straight people here because they like the diversity.  

If anyone comes up to you, and it could be male, female, or anyone, and you're not interested, just be polite.  

Of if you are, you're welcome to join them."  

"Wow, I've heard of this bar, but I had no idea.  Thank you for telling me, but it will be a long time before I'd feel comfortable accepting any kind of invitation." 

"I understand, I just wanted you to know."  

They entered the bar and quickly found a table towards the back that was still empty. After sitting down and ordering, Deirdre said to Ashley, "See that guy up there by the bar?"  

"Yes, he's huge."  

"He's the bouncer. Anyone causing the least problem, he's on them so fast.  And I think there's another backup somewhere in case things get out of hand, but I've never seen it get beyond him stopping any problems."  

"I certainly wouldn't want to tangle with him."  

"Most wouldn't, but I've met him, Ron, we shared drinks once, and he is the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. But don't ever cross him."  

"I certainly won't."  

The young women shared their stories with Ashley, and she was just amazed at how different their stories all were, from wealthy upscale families to lower class, from accepting family members to being kicked out and told never to return.  

At the moment, Josie expected that after her final surgeries, she would go stealth, move to another town, and with all her records legally changed, begin life as a female with no mention of her male past. Her parents were split and her father had been abusive.  

Cassandra admitted to being a lesbian and had no interest in male companionship.  

Lauren was undecided but thought she would probably be interested in men.  Deirdre was fully open to any kind of relationship, at least where she currently was in her life.  

Ashley thought about all that they shared, and finally said, "When I have thought of ever being female, which I had always just assumed would never happen, I'd be with some fully accepting guy.

  And now that I'm thinking about it again and with all your stories, I'm fairly certain that I still feel that way."  

She had thought about what she felt when Mr. Austin was being close.  In a way, she liked it, like she enjoyed going to dinner and then lunch with him, him being as courteous as he was, even the kiss.  She just wished he hadn't been so overbearing and stayed so close as often as he did.  

She accepted that deep down she knew that it wasn't the proper way to be in an office environment and it surely wasn't what she wanted in developing a relationship with a young man. 

 Later in the evening, Lauren came over to Ashley and sat down next to her. 

"Um, Ashley?" Lauren said, "I know this is kinda early to ask, but I was wondering, you said you didn't like the place you're renting? Well, anyway, Marilou used to share my two-bedroom apartment, and since she left, I was, well, looking for someone to share and help pay the rent, and I was wondering if maybe you'd, um,be interested? 

I mean whenever you want?  You don't have to decide right now, I just thought I'd let you know, and if you are, that'd be great." 

Without having to think too much, Ashley replied, "Oh, yes, I'd be interested."  

She surely didn't like where she was now renting, and it was month to month, so she could easily get out of it. She'd lose the security deposit, but if there were a better place..., she then asked, "Can you tell me a little more about it?"  

"Certainly, it's up in the Greenbrier neighborhood, it's a two bedroom, first floor, so you'd have your own bedroom, it's about a block from the bus line, and your half of the rent would be $400, plus your share of utilities, of course. It's got an up-to-date kitchen, and a counter or bar."  

"That sounds really great!" 

Ashley replied, "Can I come and see it sometime next week?"  

"Why, yes, just tell me when."  "I don't want you to get too anxious; right now I'm in a month-to-month rental, so I'll have to wait until the month runs out, if you can wait."  

"Yes, I can, and thank you so much.  I know you can't commit until you've seen it, but I'm sure you'll really like it.  I was worried about finding somebody who I could get along with, and well, you know, understand me...and after meeting you, I'm sure it'll really be nice."  "Um, maybe you should get to know me a little more.  

I can be difficult at times," Ashley giggled a little.  

"So can I," Lauren replied, "so it should really work out well."  

A few young men came over and started up conversations, but Josie was the only one who actually went off with one of them, but soon she was back saying, "I could tell it wasn't going to work out."  

A little while later, Josie and Cassandra excused themselves to head back to the apartment they shared, which got Ashley thinking about how she was going to get back to her place.  Deirdre solved that by saying, "Ashley, would you like a ride to your place?" 

 "I don't want to put you out any. I think there's a late bus or I can call an Uber."  

"The buses are okay, Uber, I guess, but no reason to change any issues. Lauren and I live near each other so I'll be taking her back, and, besides, I don't mind doing it."  

"Thank you, I'd like that."  

"You ready to go?"  They left the bar, and Deirdre dropped Ashley off at her place, and asked once more, "Will you be coming to work as Ashley on Monday?  

I'm sure Mr. Relsly will accept whoever shows up.  And not to make your decision any more difficult, but I really do like Ashley.  I haven't met Ash who I'm sure is nice and all, but I really like you."  

Ashley sighed for a moment, "I think so, although I'll have to think about it some. Everyone I met tonight was super nice. Thank you for the ride and for inviting me, and all.  With you all being so nice, I can't wait to get to work. Goodnight, Deirdre, Lauren."  

"Goodnight, Ashley, see you Monday!"  Ashley now had the weekend to think about it.  She went straight to bed, as Ashley, and got up Saturday morning, and after only a moment's hesitation, considered she would stay with Ashley for the weekend.  

As Saturday turned to Sunday, having already accepted that she was transgendered, she then convinced herself that she would definitely show up Monday morning as Ashley, and, well, probably for the entire week, and if it all worked out, for some time more, but she would have to see.  

Having made that decision, she then tried on the different outfits that she had brought back from VanHisen's and they all fit fairly well.  At least now she had several changes of clothes.  

However, she realized if she were to stay with Ashley, she'd need a lot bigger wardrobe, casual clothes, cosmetics, definitely several more outfits for work besides maybe even things she hadn't yet thought about.  And she would have to figure out some way to avoid meeting up with her family until she was sure what her future would be  texting and phone calls with changing her voice would have to suffice, for now, anyway.  

By Sunday, she again had worked up the courage to go out and be seen. She walked down to the market in the strip mall two blocks away, as it was a nice day, to pick up a few things.  

She had already decided that for a bigger shopping trip, especially for more clothes, she would ask Deirdre or one of the other girls if they could accompany her, and give suggestions. 

There were a few things she could purchase now that she might need sooner.  Since she had no real feminine casual clothes, and wasn't sure that Ash's jeans and tees would look appropriate, she put on the skirt and blouse from Thursday and convinced herself that since it was Sunday morning, and a nice warm sunny day, she could imagine she was going to or coming from the church of which there were several in the neighborhood that is, if anyone stopped her for any reason.  

Of course, she did sort of, well, maybe, I mean if she really thought about it, she did like wearing this outfit...a lot.  

At the strip mall, she went into the drugstore, guessing that it would have more of what she was looking for. She slowly went through the aisles, looking at all the various feminine products, and wished one of the other girls was with her.  

She selected a few cosmetics, toiletries, and other items and went to the front where there was a young man clerking behind the counter.  Glancing at him as she walked up there was only one other customer in the store back by the pharmacy she thought he looked a little handsome, and then wondered where that thought came from.  

She was glad there wasn't a crowd, and hoped to make it through the checkout fairly quickly  "Hi!" he said cheerfully.  

"Is this all?"  

"Hi. Yes." 

 "Do you have our courtesy card? You can save some money if you do."  "Oh, um, I don't think so."  

"Would you like to apply for one? If you do, you can use it immediately."

  She took a breath, noticing that no one was behind her, and deciding saving money was a good idea, said, "Okay."  

He pulled out a small form with a card attached and along with a pen, gave it to her, after punching in some numbers in the register. As she was filling it out, he said, "Do you live around here?"  

"Um, a few blocks away by Walnut Arms."  

He would see the address anyway, so she didn't worry about it. 

 "Oh, okay, I haven't seen you around and I'd certainly notice someone as attractive as you."  She blushed a little and replied, "Um, I just moved in not long ago, this is the first time I've been in here."  

"Oh, okay, so, welcome to the neighborhood.  My name is Erik, with a 'k'." 

 "Oh, um, mine is Ashley. Thank you."  

"Ashley, that's a pretty name.  

I've lived here all my life.  If you'd like, sometime maybe I could show you around, point out the stores and places that are okay, and those you might want to avoid."  

"Um, that would be, uh, nice. I'm sort of busy now, getting moved in and all, but maybe, next time I come in?"  

"Sure, that'd be great.  Let's see, you save five dollars off the regular prices and as a first-time user customer, another twenty-five percent off, so your total comes to $32.76."  

Ashley smiled with a little relief as she had thought it would be a lot higher. She also realized this was the first time she was filling out a form, not work related, as Ashley.  

"Here you go," she said as she gave him cash from the wallet in her shoulder bag and got her change back.  

"Have a great day!" he said, "Hope to see you again."  

"Thank you, have a nice day, too," she said, giving him a nice smile.  As she walked out, she realized that he had been flirting with her a little.  A strange guy looked at her and saw Ashley, a young woman. 

And he had sort of asked her for a date, not that she would go out with him, well, not right away, anyway, but just the interaction made her feel very happy about herself. It was another positive indication that being Ashley may actually work.  

Monday morning, she was up early, showered, and again tried to use the various cosmetics to make herself presentable, besides wearing the third outfit, a nice dark blue and white, dress with a slight hourglass slimming design.  

She had to be on the bus that came by at 7:45 as she had to change buses in the center of the city for the one out to the office.  She got on, paid her fare and got a transfer, found a seat that was empty, but by the next stop, an older woman boarded and sat next to her.  

They just exchanged smiles. Upon transferring to the next bus, she was surprised to see Lauren.  

"Hey there, Ashley, over here!  You look great this morning. Ready for your first full day?"  

"Hi, Lauren! It's so nice to see you. Yes, I am."  

"Good. I ride this sometimes, although often, Deirdre gives me a ride, but she suggested I try to meet up with you, today, just to make your first day less stressful."  "Thanks, that's so nice of her and you."  They got off at the stop and walked the half block to their office, entered, said 'hello' to Brenda, and went up to the office.  

Deirdre was there and welcomed Ashley, showed Ashley her workstation in one of those low-walled cubicles, and introduced her to the other girls that she had not yet met, Lynell and Rianne who were cis-girls. 

Both welcomed Ashley and told her she could ask either for help anytime she wanted. Everyone was very nice to her and made her feel welcome and accepted. 

 Being her first day, she had an appointment with the human resources person, Nicole, where she filled out some more forms, received an identification badge, and was given several documents relating to the company's policies, as well as other items.  

She was told a background check would be performed and she was scheduled to take a drug test the next day.  There were no other issues, and she returned to the office.  

Over the next several weeks, the two cis-girls in the office as well as Brenda became as friendly to Ashley as they were with the t-girls since they easily accepted the t-girls as women, and they all got along quite well.  

All of the young women would occasionally do things together, with Lynell joining in a little more often than Brenda or Rianne. 

 As she got to know her co-workers better, she learned that Josie and Deirdre were closing in on their year of living as women and approaching their final surgery, like Marilou had done. 

Cassandra was about four months away.  Lauren was mid-way.  None as yet had decided if they would leave following their surgery although Josie was talking about it.  

As she had learned from Deirdre on Friday, the other t-girls knew each other from support groups and they had encouraged each other to apply at Johnston.  

They all were a little surprised that Ashley's application was purely coincidental but were quite happy she did.  

Ashley fit right in and with Josie as her trainer, she quickly learned her job and began reviewing the various documents, finding the various parts that needed further investigation.  

Mr. Relsly commented several times that he was impressed with her work, as well as her desire.  

As Ashley hoped, in talking to her co-workers, she found they were delighted to help her shopping as well as offering her suggestions which included make-up, clothing styles, various products she might consider using, shaving her legs, trying different hairstyles, upgrading her breast forms besides covering a more important function, removing facial hair.  

That led to several of the t-girls casually mentioning their transitioning to Ashley, who after listening and thinking about it replied, "That is something I'm going to really want to talk over with you all, but right now, I want to focus on my job here, and just living as Ashley, getting to know myself a little better."  

They all accepted her decision as although each had a different story to tell, so did each girl came to the decision to transition in her own time and way.  

The next Saturday, just after noon, Ashley needed some items from the drug store again and walked down there, just enjoying the early afternoon as it had been sunny and warm. 

She had changed into white calf-length pedal pushers and a colored tee. 

She was beginning to feel a lot more comfortable in the various changes of clothes, both casual and work-related.  Upon entering she saw the same clerk she had talked to on her previous visit and started wondering what might happen when she checked out. 

She got the items and went to the counter and pulled out her card.  "Is this everything?" he said, then smiled, and continued, "Ashley, right?"  

"Yes, that's right and you're Erik with a k." 

 "You remembered, thank you.  Ah, good, there's your card. I'll scan it in. So, have you had a chance to see our neighborhood?"  

"Yes, it's okay.  There are some nice stores."  "Um, have you been to the coffee shop down the street? They have some great brews."  "No, actually, not yet. But, I may try it."  

"I get off in a little while.  I'll be happy to buy you a cup.  If you'd like?"  Ashley looked at him for a moment, accepting that he again was asking her on a date of sorts, but the kind of date that would allow each to go his or her separate way if it wasn't working out for either.  

And he certainly wasn't pushy or persistent or, heaven forbid, obnoxious.  

On an unexplained impulse, she replied, "Yes, I'd like that, thank you. Later this afternoon?"  

He paused, possibly with a slightly startled look, took a breath, and replied, "Well, um, I can be there in an hour?"  

"An hour? Yes, that sounds good. I'll meet you there."  "Oh! Okay, great! That's great. Here's, um, your change."  

"Thank you, see you then, bye!"  

"Bye."  She took a deep breath as she walked out of the store as she had just accepted an invitation from a guy to get together.  

Her first one was from someone she had only casually met. She wondered for a moment why she did that, besides accepting that he had been very nice about it. 

She certainly wasn't seeing anyone.  

This was a first, she knew, but she already had some limited experience with Mr. Austin - much of which she never wanted repeated, ever. 

But some of it was okay.  And she was feeling very comfortable as Ashley.  

It certainly wouldn't be going anywhere as she would be moving in the next two weeks to Lauren's which was across town from here. That is, of course, if for some reason, her interest in him might drastically increase, and he would show a similar interest in her. 

If all that happened, she had no idea what she would do then.  Thinking about it a little more, she thought back to when Ash as well as his male friends talked about asking girls out.  

They were mostly resigned to the fact that more than likely if they did, the girl would not only say 'no', but maybe even embarrass them for asking.  Maybe those were related to why she accepted his invitation.  He was nice about it, she had nothing going on, and there was no reason to even think of rejecting it outright.  

She now guessed that it was also possible that back then Ash and his friends were just way too shy and insecure.  

She thought Erik did seem a little surprised by her accepting his invitation.  Maybe he had been turned down in the past and was expecting it again.  

She took her purchases back to her room, checked her make-up touching up her lips, brushed her hair a little and walked back to the coffee shop. She was a minute or two early but saw Erik walking up from the other direction and he saw her and waved. 

They greeted each other and he held the door for her and once inside held her chair as he asked her what she would like.  He went to the counter and ordered for both of them and then brought back their cups. 

 "It's a little expensive, but the taste is great not like that burnt stuff at Starbucks, and it doesn't cost quite as much."  

"Here," she said reaching into her bag, "I can pay for my own." 

"No, please, my treat. I asked you here so it's on me."  

"Thank you. That's nice of you."  

They talked about themselves, where Ashley worked, what the neighborhood was like, and what they hoped for their future. 

She then said, "Thank you so much for the invitation, but I have to be honest.  After I started where I now work, one of the other girls there needed a roommate, so I agreed. She lives up in the Greenbrier area, so I'll be moving up there in the next week sometime. I hope you can understand, especially if you know the area around Walnut Arms." 

 "Yeah, they aren't the best, but you said you were just starting out, and that area is inexpensive.  I am glad you're leaving there.  You haven't had any problems living there, have you?  I've heard some stories." 

 "No, where I am, I have my own entrance, and I come and go quickly, and I have nothing of real value."  

"That's good.  I should also tell you, I suppose. 

 I wasn't expecting to see you again, and when you came into the store, I remembered you suggesting on taking me up, the next time you came in.  I thought I'd ask again, but I really didn't think you'd agree.  

I met someone a few days ago, we haven't gone out or anything yet but we're going to meet up later tonight.  

I'm really enjoying getting to know you, and sitting here with you.  It's just that I'm not the kind of guy who can date different girls at the same time.  I hope you're okay with that." 

 "Oh, yes, I'm okay.  Thank you for telling me. It's so nice to meet someone who seems to respect who he dates. Meeting you last week, I thought you were a nice guy, and I now absolutely know so.  I just wanted to be open with you, too. 

But, we can stay friends, if you'd like. If you're ever up in the Greenbrier area, I'll be happy to return the favor and buy you a cup.  I'm going to take a chance. Here's my number.  Just don't let your new girlfriend see it." 

 She quickly wrote down her number on a napkin and handed to him as he took it with a laugh.  

Smiling at that, he then replied, "Thanks, I've had casual girlfriends, off and on, and I really liked it. Just enjoying being friends with others, you know?" 

 "Yes, I completely agree."  

They continued chatting and eventually left, with Ashley impetuously giving his cheek a little kiss just before they turned to leave one another.  It just seemed like a nice thing to do, without overthinking it at all.  

"That's a thank you for buying me the cup of coffee, and for being a nice guy.  Don't ever change."  

"Whew! I wish I had met you a while ago." 

 "Don't think that, please. Give your new girlfriend all the attention and affection she deserves, for me, okay?"  

"Okay, bye."  "Bye."  That was so much better an experience than even a moment with Mr. Austin, Ashley thought as she walked back to her place.  

If she were to remain, Ashley, which with each passing day seemed more and more likely to her, these were the kind of experiences she would treasure as she learned more about herself and how to be the woman she seemed to be turning into.