Acting Up - Female Role - Part - 6

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Three hours later, Leigh found himself naked from his waist down, semi-reclining on an exam table, his bare heels resting in the exam table's stirrups and his legs spread apart.  

It was a position that Nikki was very familiar with,  having had a number of exams for "female" issues. Ironically, the exams had been performed by the same doctor who was examining Leigh.  

Dr. Roberts was sitting on a small stool between Leigh's spread-apart legs.  Nikki was standing slightly to the side of Leigh's left leg watching the doctor as he gently manipulated Leigh's genitals'. 

 If it wasn't so serious, Nikki would have laughed at the image.  Leigh was impassively watching what the doctor was doing.  

He started when the doctor abruptly dropped his hands and slid his stool backward.  

"What do you think?" 

Nikki and Leigh asked simultaneously.  

The doctor looked up and told Leigh to get dressed.  He would talk to both of them in his office.  

"Well, there's good news and bad news," Doctor Roberts began after Nikki and Leigh sat down in his office. 

 "Which would you like to hear first?"  

"Just lay it out," Nikki said.  

"All right Leigh, to put it bluntly, you are sterile, most likely permanently.  Nikki has more or less confirmed that when she told me that your ejaculate is thin and clear.  

You are not producing spermatozoa.  I'll have to get a sample to confirm this of course, but I think it's a foregone conclusion that everything has shut down.  

You are also exhibiting female fat distribution, i.e. thicker thighs, and butt.

 According to Nikki, you've even had some increase in your breast size. Your stated loss of muscle definition as well as a significant reduction in strength, is another indicator.  

There are other signs that you say you've noticed, such as a reduction in body hair."  "What caused the changes?" Nikki asked.  "Dr. Johnson assured us that the birth control pills wouldn't have an adverse effect on his body."  "Okay, here's what I think has happened.  By themselves, the birth control pills shouldn't have affected his body, or at least not to the degree they've reached.  

Leigh's testicles should have produced enough testosterone to control the estrogen.  

However, that hormone 'control' does not take into consideration the fact he has pushed them up into his abdomen for lengthy periods every day for years.  In order for Leigh's testicles to function correctly, they should be at least 4 or 5 degrees cooler than his normal body temperature.  Too hot and they just shut down.  

We need to do some blood tests to make sure, but I'm positive they are no longer producing testosterone."  

He sighed and looked at Leigh. 

"Even though your testicles are still in place, you have effectively castrated yourself.  I'm sorry, I don't think I can do anything to reverse the condition." 

 "What about testosterone shots or pills?"  Nikki asked, still shaken by the diagnosis.  

"No, sorry.  Believe it or not, that will just increase the estrogen in his system."  "Is there anything we can do?"  "I don't mean to sound insensitive, but the way I see it, Leigh can do one of two things, have sex reassignment surgery and become the woman he appears to be, or do nothing and continue to live as he is.  Neither fish nor fowl." 

 Nikki didn't break down until they were in their car driving home.  "I'm so, so sorry, Leigh!  You made me guardian of your body and I totally screwed up.  If I had been more observant or something, I would have... I should have..."  

"Nikki, stop blaming yourself!  It's not your fault!  You didn't push me into living as a woman, or force me to wear the padding, nor did you make the decision of having implants and taking those dammed birth control pills.  Well, since I've gained weight in my hips and butt. I won't need to wear the padding anymore.  Maybe, that will help." 

"That night, because Nikki was feeling such guilt about Leigh's condition, she moved out of the master bedroom.  

Nothing Leigh could say or do could entice her to return to their bed. 

One night about a month later, Leigh was sound asleep when he was awakened by a hand caressing his left breast under his nightgown."

"Nikki?" he asked.  "Yes, dear.  I forgive you," Nikki said softly.  

"Don't forget to take your pill tomorrow."  

Leigh spent the rest of the night trying to figure out what he was being forgiven for.                               

 It was a month before the 110th Independent Film Producers Awards ceremony was to be held.  

Nikki was having a serious conversation with her three children.  

"You all know that Daddy is up for a very important award for his last movie."  

The three nodded in unison.  "He has told me that this will be the absolute last function he will attend as a woman.  In fact, he'll be retiring from acting all together. 

He told me, he was tired of being limited to women's roles, and well, he's just tired."  

"I know your father is really proud of you for keeping his secret all this time.  

That goes for me as well.  You know some of why he's had to pretend to be a woman for so many years.  Someday, I promise, we'll all sit down and tell you the rest of the story.  But right now, I have to ask the three of you to do me a huge favor."  

Nikki drew a deep breath, not sure if the kids would go along with her idea.  

"I think since Daddy is retiring, we need to show our full support and appreciation for all he's gone through to get where he is. After all, if he hadn't made what most men would consider an inconceivable sacrifice, we would not have the lifestyle we've enjoyed for years." 

 She paused, forming her thoughts of what she was going to say. 

 "What I would like for us to do for a few hours, is what Daddy's had to do for over twenty-five years.  I think Daddy would appreciate us doing that." 

 "What is it?" Patricia asked, as usual, she was acting as a spokesperson for herself and her brothers.  

"I think that we all need to dress up as the opposite sex.  Think we can do that?"  

All three siblings nodded; the twins were slightly less enthusiastic than Patricia.  "Patricia, you can wear what you usually do, slacks.  I'd like you to go a little further and dress as if you were a young man.  You'll need to get a man's tuxedo, men's dress shoes, etc.  

You won't be able to wear makeup or at least much.  Nor can you wear your favorite jewelry including earrings."  The twins snickered at the vision of their very girly sister dressed as a boy.  

They had completely forgotten that when they were younger, Patricia was a confirmed tomboy.  She really didn't begin wearing dresses regularly until she was a junior in high school.  Nikki turned to the twins. 

 "I'm glad you're enjoying this.  You'll be wearing formal, pantyhose, heels, and your sister's old clip-on earrings.  

Patricia will help you with your makeup and hair. She will also teach you how to be perfect sixteen-year-old girls."  James looked at his twin and sighed,  "At least we're going to be our own age."  

"Patricia, do you have anything that will fit your brothers so they can get used to wearing a dress?"  Patricia got a wicked look in her eyes.  "Oh, I think I can find something."  "Be nice honey, this is for your father, remember!" Nikki warned.                             

Nikki was extremely pleased with how the kids turned out.  In spite of her reservations, all three jumped into their 'let's support Daddy' with an enthusiasm that astounded her.  The twins even had their ears pierced and eyebrows threaded. 

 A few extensions in their hair gave them hair that fell below their shoulders. The plan was to have their hair styled the afternoon of the Awards show into an elegant style that included elements of a high bun, with loose curls and a diamond (cubic zircon) hair band.  

Their undergarments were courteous of Patricia, who saw it as an opportunity to go shopping for new undies at Mom's expense.  Foam rubber enhancers completed their "figures".  

With their prom dresses, (rented from a movie costume company), nylons, high-heeled sandals, and a little makeup, both boys made creditable and very cute teenage girls.  

It wasn't until after the ceremony that Nikki began wondering how quickly they learned to walk so gracefully in three-inch heels.  Patricia, on the other hand, stunned her.  

Because she was friends with a makeup artist, she'd had professional help.  

The beard and mustache were, of course completely fake.  As was the "muscle" suit she would wear under her tux.  Patricia had worn the muscle suit by itself to show Nikki. 

 When Nikki first saw the suit, she was a little shocked.  She looked questionably at Patricia.  

"Well, I figured that if Daddy could wear a fake bootie, I could wear something with six-pack abs and great-looking pecs!"  

Patricia didn't have her false beard and mustache on yet, so with her makeup still on, she looked like a girl from the neck up. 

 From the neck down, however, she was a short muscular man, complete with "six-pack abs, great looking pecs" and anatomically correct genitals.  "You won't be able to wear panties with that thing," Nikki giggled looking at the flaccid penis.  

"Can you pee standing up with that monster?"  Patricia just smiled.  Even though the children were busy nearly every day for three weeks perfecting their "costumes", they managed to avoid detection by their father.  In fact, they successfully concealed Nikki's little surprise until the very night of the ceremony.  

Leigh had gone to the theater two hours early for a "pre-show rehearsal" where all the nominees were 'walked' through the presentation and acceptance speech protocol they would follow if they won their award. 

The walk-through had lasted an hour, so with another hour to kill, the nominees were shown waiting areas, and in a few cases, individual dressing rooms.  Leigh was in one of the little dressing rooms touching up his makeup and hair.  

He took the diamond and rich emerald-colored chrome tourmaline necklace from its presentation box and fastened it around his neck.  He adjusted its position so that the large 50-caret tourmaline, worth about $35,000 by itself, was perfectly centered over his cleavage.  Satisfied, he removed the matching earrings from the case and inserted them in his ears.  

He sat for a moment just looking in the mirror at the impressive jewelry provided on loan to the IFPG staff specifically for Leigh to wear.  It wasn't hard to believe that he was wearing nearly a half million dollars of "Jewelry by Fred" around his neck.  

The necklace was beautiful.  If he had been the type of woman who threw fancy dress parties, he would have loved to own the necklace and earrings.  If he had been a real woman, he would have had different values and goals.  He wondered where he would have been if he hadn't accepted the role of Elliana.  

He probably wouldn't be where he was now.   Would he still be an actor?  Would he have been nominated for Best Actor in a Leading Role?  

He thought he might have, but given how fickle the public was, he could have just as well ended up as "the third male on the left" in the credits.  

He thought back to the singular event that led up to this night.  

If he hadn't signed the contract for the play "Elliana", Nikki's Grandfather wouldn't have felt it necessary to become involved with their life.  It was regrettable that the "childhood friend" mentioned by Miss Jones, just happened to be his big brother John.  

It was even more regrettable that Grandfather became so fearful that the man married to Nikki, his only granddaughter, would have a sex change as his idolized big brother had, that he felt the only way to deal with it was to destroy Terry and his marriage.  

Perhaps if Nikki's Grandfather hadn't been suffering from the onset of senility and identity confusion, the outcome would have been very different.  In retrospect, it was hard to believe how naïve both he and Nikki had been to just sign all the paperwork her Grandfather had prepared for them.  

Granted, her Grandfather had offered to let Terry read the documents. If he had, and had discovered the deception, would a man who was so powerful that he routinely manipulated both Judges and juries most of his life find another way to ruin him?  Leigh thought it was entirely possible.  And, he shuddered to think, it could have been worse, much worse.                            

 His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the dressing room door.  "Come in," he called out. He was expecting one of the pages to tell him how much time he had before he had to take his seat in the audience.  

The door opened and instead of the expected female page, Nikki walked in.  The first thing he noticed was that Nikki was wearing the tuxedo she had worn when they married the second time.  "Well, well, what's this?" Leigh asked. 

 "Just showing my support for you when you win the award tonight," Nikki smiled.  

"That tux brings back fond memories of our second honeymoon. 

 If I remember correctly, you were a real tiger that first night."  

"Of course, I was, I was exercising my husbandly responsibilities of deflowering my shy virgin wife," Nikki responded smiling.  Leigh laughed. 

  "I was hardly a virgin that night.  If I remember correctly, you had just given birth to our daughter not long before we had our second wedding."  Nikki laughed.  "Darling, you may not have been a virgin as my husband, but as my wife, you certainly were.  

Although I will have to admit, you weren't the least bit shy when we went to bed."  "No, I wasn't was I?"  Leigh laughed. 

"I'd give you a big kiss, except I've won't have time to re-apply my makeup."  

"That's okay dear, we'll have a lot of time to mess it up after tonight." 

 Nikki smiled.  "But, I almost forgot, the kids are here to wish you good luck."  She walked to the door and opened it.  

"Come on in guys."  Leigh almost fell out of his chair when he saw the twins.  

If he hadn't known who they were, he would have thought they were a couple of teenage girls.  He cast a critical eye, horned by many years of dressing as a woman himself.  Their makeup was perfect for their age, understated but well done.  Their hair, which he knew had to have hair extensions, was piled high in a fancy "going to the prom" style. 

 Even the odd color polish on their fingers and toes screamed teen girls.  What really was the clincher was that they looked of young teens on their first real date, kind of combination of "nervous and yet excited". 

Leigh looked a little closer.  "You guys pierced your ears?"  Both looked a little sheepish. 

 "If you don't mind me saying it, you two are beautiful," Leigh said as the twins blushed.  

Leigh suddenly noticed the shorter figure standing behind the twins. For a second he did not recognize the stocky, bearded man.  

Seeing he was confused, Patricia spoke, "Hi, Daddy.  What do you think?" She asked as she slowly turned around.  

Patricia in her muscle suit and tux appeared to be a buff college student.  Shaking his head, he replied, "I wish I had looked that good when I was your age." 

 He was only half kidding.  They chatted for a few minutes more, until they were interrupted by a page.  

"Ten minutes, Miss Wilson.  The show starts in ten minutes."  Nikki ushered the kids out, "Go find our seats, I'll be out in a minute."  As soon as the kids left, Nikki closed the door. 

 "Are you really going to 'out' yourself if you win tonight?"  Leigh nodded. 

 "Yes, I am.  I think I've lived like this for long enough." 

 "You realize you'll probably never work as an actor again, don't you?'  

"I don't care.  There are hundreds of jobs behind the cameras that I can do.  If I have my choice, though, I think I'd like to try directing." 

 "And, you would be great doing that, too." 

Nikki smiled.  The two looked at each other for a moment or two, both deep in thought.  The page returned to interrupt the strained silence.  

"Well, I suppose that the only thing left to say is 'break a leg', dear."  

Nikki gave Leigh a careful hug, not wanting to disturb his makeup, and then left to find her seat in the audience.  

Leigh nodded his thanks to her parting back.  He wiped a small tear from his cheek, checked his makeup again and followed her to his own seat next to her.                                

 "... and that, ladies and gentlemen, while I am so thrilled and honored to not only be nominated but to have been voted by my peers as  'Best Actress in a Leading Roll'. 

 I cannot in good conscience accept it." With tears in his eyes, Leigh waved to the audience and walked off stage, followed by his family.  

The stunned program's director and producers looked at each other and decided that they needed to go to an unscheduled commercial.  Right now!  

The commercial, hastily selected began:  "Are you suffering from the burn and itch of hemorrhoids?..."  

The Awards' Director shuddered and threw up his hands in defeat.  How could a well-planned program get so screwed up so quickly?  He decided that as soon as the show was over he was going to get stinking drunk!                               

The Master of Ceremony, a young woman dressed in an elegant gown and looking frankly shell-shocked, was waiting for the horrible hemorrhoid commercial to end and the signal to start.  

The tinny voice in her earpiece began the countdown.  

"Three, two, one,..... we're live!  Although I don't the fuck know why!"  

"Welcome back to the 110th Independent Film Producers Awards."  There was a long pause, while the Master of Ceremony collected her thoughts. 

 "Ladies and gentlemen, I really don't know what to say.  We have just heard Ms. Leigh Wilson, one of filmdom's leading actresses make an astounding admission.  

She, or rather he, has just revealed that for the last twenty-plus years, he had been masquerading as a woman for all most of her,, acting career.  

Since she, sorry this is so hard to believe,, has admitted to being a male, the IFPG's board of directors has unanimously voted to give the Best Actress in a Leading Role to the actress who received the next highest votes.  

The winner is Malissa Young."  The audience's applause was polite but sporadic.  As a stunned Malissa Young slowly walked to the stage, most of the audience rose and left the theater.  

Nothing, not even the yet-to-be-awarded "Best Actor in a Leading Role" or "Best Picture" could top the stunning confession they had just heard!  Thirty seconds later, almost before Malissa Young could even reach the stage, the credits rolled and the show went off the air.  

Malissa Young, a fine actress in her own right, forever more became known as "The Other One" or "TOO' for short.  

The final awards; "Best Actor in a Leading Role" and "Best Picture" were completely forgotten until a small newspaper article announcing the winners appeared in a theatrical trade publication a week later.  

The tabloids, on the other hand, were busy for weeks with people coming forth saying that they had known Leigh's secret for years.  

Leigh knew none of the individuals identified in the "newspapers", and suspected as most others did, the 'longtime friends" didn't have the slightest connection with the "real" Leigh Renee Wilson.                                

 Leigh turned off their TV, having just watched a recording of the Awards show.  Nikki turned to Leigh.  "Wow!  You can't say you don't know how to make a dramatic exit!"  "Hey, I'm still a ham at heart, what did you expect?" Leigh laughed.  "Any regrets?"  Leigh thought for a moment.  "Yes, several.  The biggest regret is that because of my obsession with furthering my career, I denied you the opportunity of having another child."  

Nikki started to protest, but Leigh held up his hand to stop her.  

"Nikki, I know you better than you think.  When you said you 'forgave' me after that meeting with Dr. Roberts, it took me a while to realize what you were forgiving me for. I'm truly sorry, honey that I screwed up our lives like that."  Nikki leaned over and gave Leigh a kiss. 

 "I still forgive you," she said softly.  

"The other regret is also related to my obsession with my career. Because of the direction my acting career took, I forced you into what most think of being a lesbian relationship. 

 I know that it cost you some old friends and at least one family member." 

 "To be truthful, I was bothered at first," Nikki admitted.  

"After I thought about it, I realized they weren't the 'friends' I really wanted to be associated with.  No big loss," Nikki smiled.  

"You know, thinking about it, you were, and still are, the best 'girlfriend' I ever had.  I love you very much, sweetheart!"  

Leigh laughed and gave Nikki a deep kiss.  "I have to admit, Nikki. You've been the best 'husband' a girl like me could ever have hoped for."  Nikki winked.  

"And don't you ever forget it!"  "Nikki?  I've told you my regrets.  

Do you have any?"  "Just one, beloved, just one."  

"Which is?" Leigh asked, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer.  "Well, to be honest, my only regret is that I've never been able to convince you that shopping for clothes is fun!  Which it is!"  Leigh rolled his eyes and sighed.                                

Nikki had been right many years ago, Leigh had real problems going back to living as a male.  

Finally, Nikki, who had grown comfortable with their unique lifestyle, suggested that he just continue living as a woman.  Leigh protested, but not very strenuously.  

In the end, he finally admitted to himself, that he no longer knew how to be a man.  He had some success in directing a couple of documentaries on the stigma and hazards of being a transgendered individual.  

To be truthful, he missed the excitement of opening night.  Much to his and Nikki's surprise, he received a call from a casting director about a couple of parts in an upcoming movie.  Calls like this hadn't been uncommon before the IFP awards show but were rare now.  

The casting director wasn't interested in Leigh, she was interested in the twins.  She had parts for twin teen girls in a movie that his "daughters" would be perfect for.  

Since the "girls" were obviously minors, she felt that she should discuss it with their parents first.  Leigh said he would talk to them about the parts, and let her know.  

Neither Leigh or Nikki were surprised when the twins jumped at the chance of being in a movie, even if they had to pretend to be girls. Those parts, like the Elliana part for Leigh years before, became the start of their careers.  Although Leigh swore that he would never become a "stage mother", he carefully monitored their fledgling careers. 

 For the most part, Leigh quickly faded from the public's immediate memory.                                  

It had been nearly a year since the 110th IFP Awards show and Leigh's "outing".  Leigh came in from the kitchen, having just finished putting away the groceries from her run to the supermarket as Nikki hung up the telephone. 

 "You will never guess who that was!" Nikki said excitedly.  "I have no idea.  Who was it?"  Leigh asked as he sat down next to Nikki.  He kicked off his ballet flats and wiggled his toes a few times. He wished the shoes had just a little more cushioning.  

His feet were beginning to hurt from his walking around in the grocery store.  "It was the chairman of the Independent Film Producers Guild."'  Leigh wasn't that impressed.  

"What did old 'not in my films' want?"  "Remember that award you turned down?" 

"Hum, let me think," Leigh said as he placed a finger to the side of his head.  "Oh, yeah, I remember, wasn't it Best Actress in a Leading Role? Why, I believe it was!"  He said brightly.  Nikki rolled her eyes. 

 "Once a ham, always a ham!  Can you be serious for a moment?"  "Sorry.  What did he want?"  

"Well, short story, he wants you to be present at the next awards show. He said, that if at all possible, you should be in your 'girl' mode."  Leigh looked down at his snug-fitting cropped skinny jeans and his well-filled bra under his tank top.  He studied his painted toenails for a second.  "That shouldn't be a problem.  

Did he say why?"  "He said that you were going to get an award."  

"An award?  On TV?  Damn it, I don't have a thing to wear!"  Leigh sighed.  "Looks like we're going shopping again, honey," Nikki laughed.  "Won't that be fun!"  Leigh just rolled his eyes.  Even after more than twenty years of living as a woman, Leigh still hated shopping for clothing.                

The Master of Ceremony, a handsome young man wearing a dark navy suit with a pink carnation in his lapel, was waiting for the signal to start. The tinny voice in his ear piece began the countdown.  

"Three, two, one,..... we're live!"  

"Welcome back to the 111th Independent Film Producers Guild Awards.  For those of you who saw our award show last year, you will remember that the Best Actress in a Leading Role Award was awarded to, and subsequently refused by one of film's most critically acclaimed actresses.  

That actress, Ms. Leigh Renee Wilson is here tonight.  She is to receive the prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award for her work in film, stage and television.  Here to present the award is Mr. Leroy Stark, the current president of the Independent Film Producers Guild.  

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen.  I am extremely honored to be able to present this award to Ms. Wilson for her lifetime achievements, not only in Film, Stage and Television, but in her personal life as well. 

For over twenty-five years, almost the entire span of her career, she not only successfully mastered every female role she played; she was successful in living as a woman full-time, while in reality, she was, and still is, biologically a male.  

She was so successful that only a very small handful of people knew she was not what she appeared to be.  That is truly amazing acting, both on and off screen."  

"Although when she refused the Best Actress in a Leading Role award last year, it caused a little bit of confusion."  The audience, remembering the previous year's award show debacle, broke into laughter at this point.  "Well, more than a little, I have to admit."  There was more laughter.  

Mr. Stark waited until it died down before continuing his speech.  "We must acknowledge her honesty in her refusal of the recognition of her award-winning performance of a woman who was, ironically, a notorious liar and embezzler in real life.  

Make no mistake, however, Ms. Wilson legitimately won by a wide margin of votes."  

"We also have to admire her confession of living in what most would believe is an uncongenial life.  

In spite of living as a woman, her wife, yes she is legally married to a woman, and her children have all testified that she was very much a good husband and a great father when she wasn't on screen."  

"For these and many other reasons, we, the Board of Directors and I have decided that she more than deserves the 'Lifetime Achievement Award'."  

Female off-screen announcer:  To remind our viewers, last year Ms. Wilson was awarded the Best Actress in a Leading Role award.  Her reason for the refusal of the award was given in her subsequent stunning revelation that she was actually a male.  

A man who had been living and performing as a woman for over twenty-five years, shocked not only the entertainment industry but the world as well.  Virtually all of her acting roles were those written for a woman. 

 Ms. Wilson's acting, as deceptive as it could have been considered, was played straight.  When she acted, she was the woman she was portraying.  While the off-screen announcer was giving Leigh's background, the tall, attractive woman in her late 40s stood to thunderous applause.  

She walked briskly to the stage and up the three steps to the stage microphone.  The microphone, unlike the last time, is set at the correct height.  

She stopped next to Mr. Stark; they spoke quietly for a few seconds before he shook Leigh's hand and handed the award to her.  They both smiled and then Stark turned and stepped back to give Leigh center stage. 

 Like the last time she won an award, she took a moment to study it.  With a big grin on her face she began speaking in her trademark husky, yet feminine voice.  

"Thank you for this tremendous honor!  I really don't know what to say.  There are virtually thousands of actors, actresses, technicians, directors and of course, the wonderful audiences that made my career a success.  If I could, I would thank them all by name. 

 Since that is impossible, a general thank you to all will have to do.  You know who you are,  I wish you continuing success in your future endeavors." 

 "What made all the sacrifices, the tears as well as the laughter, worthwhile and possible, was my family, beginning with my spouse Nikki, who by a truly bizarre set of circumstances, is both my ex-wife and my current 'husband'.  

It is a story that would make a fascinating script and movie.  And, before anyone asks me to play the part of Leigh, the answer is no thanks!.  I have no desire to play the heroine the second time around!  

After all, I lived it and know how it turns out.  Give the roll to some other deserving young man who doesn't mind wearing heels and a dress for the rest of his life."  The audience broke into laughter again.  Leigh waited until it quieted down.  

"Special recognition must go to our children, and yes before you ask, I am their biological father, and because of the bizarre circumstances Nikki and I share, I am also their 'stepmother'.  

Our children, who appeared on the stage with me last year, knew the truth about their father at an early age, yet managed to keep it a secret from everyone. I cannot express enough my appreciation for their support and love."  

"I'll close with these words to those who would like to follow in my footsteps.  It's simply this:  

Be absolutely sure you understand and can live with the long-term consequences of your decisions.  And probably most importantly, to whoever plays me in a future documentary; 'Don't let your panties get in a bunch'!  

It's really very uncomfortable!" 

 "Goodnight and thank you all again!"  The audience gave Leigh a standing ovation that lasted until the credits rolled.                         

The program's director and producers looked at each other and smiled. Unlike the program the year before, this one came off exactly on time and was obviously a resounding success.  

The director looked at the control room staff and smiled broadly.  

"The drinks are on me at Joe's Bar across the street as soon as we clear the studio!"  His announcement brought a round of cheers.  

THE END.