[3.4 Decoding the Artist's Mind]

- The Transformation of the Mind: From Innocence to Madness -

My mental journey has been akin to walking a path through the deep forest of inner depths, beyond the usual range of experiences and emotions.

This journey began with the innocence of childhood and gradually led me down a path of exploration that took me into the abyss of madness.

Within my heart, there resided a fascination that bloomed in the darkness, different from conventional beauty.

In my childhood, I sensed a different resonance of emotions deep within me, unlike those of others.

Even amidst the trivial sounds and scenes of daily life, I could detect deeper, darker emotional waves.

In the tension of asphyxiating moments, the gaze trapped in fear, and the struggling movements, I discovered a peculiar beauty.

It was something beyond mere curiosity, akin to a kind of sacred awe.

My journey was like venturing deeper into the dark forest.

The innocent play and laughter of childhood gradually transformed into a strange fascination.

I began to walk the path of deeper emotions, hidden desires.

Gradually, this journey became a process of confronting the inner darkness, understanding it, and ultimately accepting it.

This inner exploration opened up a new perspective for me.

The intensity of emotions revealed in moments of asphyxiation led to a reflection that pierced the essence of life, ultimately allowing me to understand the pure beauty that emerges in such moments.

This realization transformed me into an artist.

This journey signified not just a change in emotions, but a profound transformation of the mind.

The path from innocence to madness fundamentally altered the way I perceive the world.

No longer could I be satisfied with the ordinary beauty of everyday life; the intense emotions and hidden desires boiling within, and the pleasure of expressing them artistically, became the driving force behind my existence.

This journey that began with innocence and led to the abyss of madness revealed the complexity and depth of the human mind.

My psychological exploration was not merely a hobby, but a contemplation to understand the core of my being.

A chance discovery in my childhood became the moment that determined the direction of my life.

On that fateful day, the sight of a gasping woman in a movie stimulated the depths of my inner abyss.

From that moment, I plunged deep into the world of asphyxiation.

The struggle of breath rising in her chest awakened a new dimension of artistic inspiration within me.

It was not just an image of fear or terror; it approached me as a tool to deeply explore the fundamental emotions of human nature.

Her gasping image in the movie was not just an act.

It was the key that opened a new dimension of art.

The tension draped over her neck, the rise and fall of her chest, the rhythm of her breath, seemed to play a symphony of pure, primal emotions.

From that moment on, I felt an intense urge to see her actually asphyxiate.

She had acted brilliantly, but I was convinced that when she truly suffocated, she would reveal a far deeper and more genuine emotion.

Now, after numerous experiences, I understand that her acting at that time was indeed fiction.

However, back then, I became increasingly captivated by this unique beauty.

Her neck, pressed by a rope, reminded me of the graceful curve of a swan, and the desperate gestures to untie the knot resembled the delicate fluttering of a butterfly's wings.

After suffocating countless women, I became more acutely aware of the deficiency I felt in her acting.

At that time, I believed that by actually suffocating her, I could perfectly fill that void.

The desperation and pain she portrayed during her performance were mere imitations.

When she actually experienced suffocation, she would face the true pain and fear that no acting could ever convey.

Completing her genuine agony and despair artistically was my ultimate desire.

The moments of suffocation I witnessed only solidified my conviction.

The conventional perspective of beauty seemed pale in comparison to what I had experienced.

It was not just a descent into madness.

It was a journey to expand into a new realm of beauty that people had not yet noticed.

My perspective had changed and evolved, and what was once innocent curiosity had now developed into a deep obsession.

Now, I reflect on how a chance encounter in my childhood transformed into a deep obsession, and how it has influenced my worldview and perception of art.

This is a journey to understand and experience the deepest human emotions, an exploration that transcends the traditional concept of beauty.

In this journey, I encountered the profound complexity of the human mind.

The transformation from innocence to madness was not just a shift in emotions, but an experience that fundamentally changed my worldview.

I can no longer be satisfied with superficial beauty.

The primal emotions boiling deep within, the hidden desires, and the pleasure of expressing them through art have become my ultimate pursuit.

This journey from innocence to madness is an exploration to understand the profound depths of the human mind.

My psychological exploration reflects a deep desire to understand the essence of my existence, beyond mere hobbies.

This is a process of exploring the true beauty that blooms in the deepest parts of human nature, ultimately a journey of obsession to complete art.

- The Boundary Between Reality and Acting -

When I first saw a woman performing a asphyxiation scene in a movie, her performance left a strong impression on me.

She had performed asphyxiation scenes in several films, and her acting was extremely realistic.

It was known that in some scenes, due to the director's penchant for realism, she had actually experienced asphyxiation.

As I watched her performance, I felt a powerful urge to see her experience such a situation in reality.

Ultimately, I wrapped a rope around her neck, tied it tightly, and dragged her into the real pain.

To understand what this impulse led to, let me recount the story of my asphyxiation art with her.

As the rope tightened around her neck, she instinctively tried to undo the knot.

Having performed asphyxiation scenes multiple times, she initially tried to believe that this was just another scene, but as the pressure became real, her psyche began to shift drastically.

The calm demeanor she had while trying to untie the knot quickly transformed into confusion and fear as she started to suffocate.

Her hands desperately tugged at the rope, trying to undo the knot, but I had tied it tightly, making it impossible for her to release it.

The knot I used, a rewind figure-eight knot, had the advantage of being quickly tied once pre-formed into the figure-eight shape, and it was extremely difficult to untie by touch alone.

As the knot was behind her neck, she fell into despair realizing she could not undo it, and the pain and fear intensified.

Her reactions became increasingly genuine and intense.

As time passed, she sank deeper into despair, recognizing that this was no longer acting.

Her heart began to race as the knot remained firmly in place, and her mind raced with a flurry of thoughts.

She could no longer deny that her neck was truly being squeezed.

As the pressure on her neck grew, the rope began to dig into her skin, compressing her airway.

With each breath, it became harder for air to pass through her throat, and she felt her breathing grow increasingly labored.

Her chest heaved sharply, her ribs straining to draw in air, but there was barely any.

Her body instinctively began to fight for survival.

Her hands desperately gripped the rope strangling her neck, trying to pull it loose, her fingers trembling as they tried to undo the knot, while her nails scratched her skin, leaving marks.

The muscles in her hands and arms bulged with tension as she fought to untie the knot, but it wouldn't budge.

Gradually, her face began to turn a deep red.

The circulation of blood was impeded by the tightening pressure around her neck, causing her face to take on a bluish hue.

Her lips started to turn blue and quiver, and her eyes were filled with fear and despair.

Tears streamed down her cheeks.

Her breathing grew increasingly erratic, and with each breath, sharp pain stabbed at her throat and chest.

As her neck tightened, she cast terrified glances around, desperately searching for a way out.

But no matter how much she twisted and struggled, the knot wouldn’t give.

Her heart started pounding rapidly, the rhythm of its beating ringing in her ears, amplifying her fear.

Her chest heaved violently as her blood tried desperately to circulate oxygen throughout her body, but she grew increasingly weaker.

The increased blood pressure caused her already constricted airway to narrow even further, making it even harder for her to breathe.

Her arms and legs convulsed as she thrashed about, while her fingers continued to move, trying to loosen the knot, but gradually lost their strength.

As her neck tightened, her mind was consumed by the fear of death, the desperate will to survive, and anxiety over whether she could escape this situation.

She was overwhelmed by the terror of truly facing death, something entirely different from acting, and plunged into despair.

Her face began to show the confusion and fear growing within her, and she struggled to understand why this was happening.

She thought she knew the boundary between acting and reality after performing asphyxiation scenes for so long, but now that boundary seemed completely shattered.

As her fear grew, tears began to well up in her eyes, and her breathing grew even more ragged.

At that moment, I felt like a director guiding her performance.

Watching every reaction and movement she made, I realized that my art was being completed through the despair and fear she was experiencing.

Her struggle was like that of an actor performing on stage.

She twisted her body desperately to breathe, her eyes widening in panic.

She used every ounce of strength to thrash her body, lifting her toes to try and elevate herself.

Her hands instinctively gripped the rope around her neck, pulling at it with all her might, while her fingers tried to work the rope between them to loosen the knot.

The muscles in her arms swelled with tension, and her fingers convulsed with constant movement.

She kicked at the ground, but the pressure from the rope didn’t lessen.

Her mouth opened wide, trying to gasp for air, but the tight grip around her neck allowed almost nothing in.

Her chest heaved violently in a desperate attempt to find air, her ribs shaking as if to bear witness to her hopeless struggle.

I evaluated each of her movements as a work of art.

Her desperate hand gestures, her ragged breaths, her instinctive resistance to the rope choking her were all, to me, parts of a single masterpiece.

Each time her fingers nearly broke in their attempts to undo the knot, her body plunged deeper into agony, and that agony became the essence of beauty to me.

She was an actress who had performed asphyxiation scenes numerous times in films.

With each work, her acting grew more refined, and I made sure to watch every single film she appeared in.

The fear and desperation displayed on her face, the tortured expression as her neck was squeezed, felt more vivid each day.

In particular, the scene where she nearly asphyxiated in a film at the director’s instruction left a strong impression on me.

I was curious about how she endured that moment, and what thoughts crossed her mind.

Each time I watched her perform, I felt an intense urge to asphyxiate her.

That urge was not just a fantasy but felt like the very source of my artistic inspiration.

Her acting stirred a deep longing in me for my art, and I wanted to see how she would truly react in the face of real pain.

So I approached her and confessed this feeling.

I calmly told her that I felt a strong urge to asphyxiate her every time I watched her act.

She looked at me with shocked eyes, which quickly changed to fear.

She struggled to understand my confession, her lips trembling as she couldn’t find the words.

She was confused as to why she was suffering, as she had not anticipated this.

Fear and anxiety rapidly filled her eyes, her lips beginning to quiver.

Not knowing what to say, she glanced around nervously before looking back at me.

Confusion and terror alternated on her face, and as I watched, I felt an even deeper desire to know her true emotions.

She tried to draw a breath to ask me why, but her voice trembled, and her words trailed off.

With difficulty, she asked why I had such thoughts.

I smiled as I answered that her performance had inspired me, but I was curious to see how she would react in true pain and wanted to complete that moment into my art.

She was speechless at my words.

Confusion and fear still lingered on her face, but I could sense that she was struggling to understand the situation.

Her eyes darted around nervously, and her lips were dry and cracked.

She found it difficult to accept the reality of her situation and gradually realized that this was no mere act.

At that moment, she was seized by the fear that the pain would never end.

A variety of emotions crossed her mind, and I watched to see how she would express them.

She held her head in her trembling hands, trying to comprehend the situation, but eventually realized it was a futile attempt.

As she experienced the difference between acting and real asphyxiation, she gradually realized how different the two were.

During filming, she could still breathe, and she knew that the hands squeezing her neck would not cause actual harm.

But now, the reassurance that it was just acting had disappeared, replaced by the primal fear of survival that gripped her.

As she felt true pain and fear that she had never experienced while acting, a deep terror crept into her heart.

The realization that this pain was real overwhelmed her, heightening every nerve in her body.

Feeling the tears streaming down her face, she writhed in agony, pushed beyond her limits.

She looked at me desperately, pleading for her life.

Though her voice was barely audible, trembling as it was, her desperate plea to stop and save her was unmistakable.

That look was incomparably more genuine than any acting she had done before.

Her eyes were filled with fear and desperation, and her hand reached out weakly toward me.

At that moment, her desperate appeal convinced me that she was experiencing true pain, not acting, and I felt an even deeper satisfaction.

Her pleading gaze and desperate cries were enough to satisfy my artistic desires, reinforcing my belief that I was right.

As I approached her, I calmly asked her to tell me how much pain she was in and what kind of suffering she was feeling if she truly wanted me to stop.

She struggled to speak, barely able to express her pain, mouthing that she couldn’t breathe, that her neck was too tight, and that no air was getting through.

Her mouth moved more slowly, her eyes filled with desperation and fear.

Hearing this, I placed my hand on the knot as if to grant her wish.

A glimmer of hope appeared in her eyes for a moment, but I quickly removed my hand and told her that she could still do better and that the performance was not yet over.

Her face slowly filled with despair and pain again, and I continued to watch her.

The pain and fear she showed during the suffocation experience was a perfect artistic moment for me, and her struggles and desperate pleas were enough to satisfy my artistic desires.

She gradually realized that the true despair and pain she felt now were far greater than anything she had imagined while acting.

Her body instinctively resisted, trying to survive, but her efforts grew increasingly futile.

On set, she could expect applause from the audience, but now, the absence of any salvation only deepened her despair.

At first, her stance slowly collapsed as the rope tightened around her neck.

As the pressure increased, it became harder for her to stand, and her legs began to give way.

In despair, she started to kneel down, collapsing onto the ground.

Her hands still clutched at the rope around her neck, but her body grew heavier.

Her breathing became increasingly ragged, and though her lungs desperately expanded in search of air, it was all in vain.

Now almost in a seated position, she desperately tried to twist and resist, but she gradually lost strength and completely collapsed to the ground.

As she lay there, the rope tightened even more around her neck, and she struggled in the pain, flailing her legs in the air as if making a final attempt to escape.

She could no longer pretend it was acting; she was now truly fighting for her life.

Her hands frantically tugged at the knot, but it remained firmly in place.

The realization that it wouldn’t come undone caused her panic and confusion, and she twisted her body even more desperately.

Her fingers moved with increasing intensity, her nails clawing at the knot in a desperate attempt to undo it.

Her eyes widened with fear, and her lips trembled incessantly.

She twisted her body and kicked her legs, straining every muscle to untie the knot, but the more she struggled, the tighter it felt.

Her face was filled with confusion and despair, tears welling up and streaming down her face.

Her chest heaved violently as she was overcome with the terror of not being able to breathe, and her whole body convulsed with fear.

She found it increasingly difficult to accept the reality that the knot wouldn’t come undone, her movements becoming more frantic as she struggled with the fear and despair of not being able to breathe, squeezing out the last of her strength in a final effort.

Her hands continued to move to untie the knot, but they grew slower and slower until finally, they hung limply at her sides.

Consumed by fear and confusion about her situation, she continued to struggle to untie the knot until the very last moment.

However, her fingers gradually lost their strength, and her vision grew blurry as she lost consciousness.

As she faced the true terror of losing her life, her last thought was simply a desperate desire to live.

I compared her past performances to her current state.

In her films, she had convincingly portrayed asphyxiation scenes, but I had always felt something was lacking.

However, her current state was far more vivid and real than before.

Her struggles were not just an act; she was genuinely fighting for her life.

Her eyes now reflected true fear and pain, and I felt that her performance was finally complete.

As she struggled to untie the knot, I saw the hope slowly fade from her face.

Initially, there was a spark of life in her eyes, and her lips trembled with tension.

But as time passed, that spark gradually dimmed, and her lips turned blue.

Her hands grew slower, her fingers weakly caressing the knot before eventually losing all strength.

Her body grew heavier, her legs scraping against the floor as they weakly trembled.

Her movements became increasingly desperate, her hands and feet trembling more slowly until they finally stopped, and as I watched, I felt my artistic urges being fulfilled.

Now lying on the ground, she struggled even more desperately.

Her face grew paler, her lips turning an even deeper shade of blue.

Her agonized struggle was, to me, more beautiful and intense than any performance.

Her face grew increasingly pale, beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

Tears welled up in her eyes, falling like raindrops on dry earth, sliding down her cheeks.

Her mouth opened wide in a futile attempt to gasp for air, but she could only emit desperate gasping sounds.

Her pupils were filled with pain, gradually losing focus, and her lips moved as if trying to say something, but no sound came out.

The muscles in her face twitched with convulsions, and the marks of the rope around her neck grew darker.

In the end, she was unable to untie the knot and grew exhausted, and I felt certain that her performance had been perfectly realized.

She was no longer an actress merely acting; she had become someone experiencing reality within my art.

Before she lost consciousness, she twisted her body with all her remaining strength.

She tried once more to grasp the knot, but her fingers were already weak.

Her legs kicked at the air as if searching for something, scraping against the floor as they slid helplessly.

Her back and shoulders convulsed intermittently, her entire body trembling as she tried to muster her remaining strength.

Once again, the flicker of hope briefly shone in her eyes but quickly turned into deep despair.

Her eyes widened in terror, her mouth opening in gasping desperation.

As her resistance to the choking rope weakened, she made one last attempt to stretch her neck and tilt her head back.

Her body slowly lost its strength, her hands falling limply to her sides.

Her pain, fear, and despair were, to me, a perfect work of art.

Her performance had now become reality, and her pain would remain within my art forever.

Her struggles were more real than any performance, and her agonized movements would be etched in my memory forever.

I watched her until the very last moment, knowing that my art was complete.

At the final moment, her pupils darted around rapidly as they lost focus, her face contorting in a mixture of fear and despair.

Her lips turned blue and trembled, and as she exhaled her last breath, a faint moan escaped her throat.

Her fingers reached out as if trying to grasp hope, but they soon lost strength and relaxed.

Her body sagged like a puppet whose strings had been cut, her legs barely moving.

At that moment, as she had performed countless asphyxiation scenes in the past, a chaotic mix of thoughts crossed her mind.

She realized that this was not acting, and that it was truly the end, recognizing how vast the difference was between acting and reality.

She felt the moments of her life flash before her, mingled with regret and longing.

Fear gripped her, and the realization that her acting experience was of no help only deepened her despair.

Thoughts of what she had been living for crossed her mind, and she felt as though she was losing everything she had ever had.

Her heart was filled with fear, along with an indescribable sadness, as she was overwhelmed by the sense that she could do nothing more.

However, I believe that even in her pain, she must have realized how beautiful she was.

Her suffocating figure was, to me, the pinnacle of artistic expression, and every moment she fought to survive felt profoundly endearing to me.

Her body, even in the extreme agony, showed instinctive and desperate movements to stay alive, and I found such gestures irresistibly alluring.

Her mind, too, revealed its strong will to fight to the end through the pain, and I found that mental fortitude deeply attractive.

The sensations she must have felt at the last moments, her determination to preserve her life, and her struggle in the face of pain, all appeared to me as a perfect work of art.

I found her desperate fight to be the most beautiful and endearing thing of all, even amidst her fear, sadness, and helplessness.

She must have realized this about herself as well.

Even in her agony, she must have felt how beautiful her body was, how alluring her spirit was, at the very moment her life faded away.

As she felt that sensation, she must have accepted her final moments, even finding happiness in them.

Despite all her pain and despair, she found peace in discovering her beauty and allure.

At that moment, she struggled to speak, asking me to stop if I was satisfied with her appearance.

I could see her mouth forming the words, begging me to stop because she could no longer continue.

Though I felt a sense of satisfaction with her appearance, I believed she could still do better.

Calmly, I told her that it wasn’t over yet.

I told her she could do better, that she just needed to try a little more.

Her eyes filled with despair, and as she reached her limits, she no longer knew what to do, gradually losing consciousness.

Her body began to sag lifelessly, her struggles becoming mere empty gestures in the air.

As everything drew to a close, she felt all her pain and despair merge into one, gradually fading as she lost consciousness.

She realized she could no longer hold on and stopped all resistance, simply sinking into the darkness.

In her heart, there was a mixture of regret for the things left undone, but also a sense of peace as she could no longer feel anything.

Her final thought was one of resignation, knowing she would disappear from this world forever, mixed with relief that all the pain was finally over.

After she lost consciousness, her face became completely pale, her eyes half-open and staring blankly.

The tears that had welled up in her eyes left dry traces on her cheeks as they trickled down.

Her mouth was slightly open, frozen in the expression of pain, and the rope marks around her neck were clearly visible.

Her breathing grew shallower and shallower until, as if squeezing out the last bit of oxygen, it ceased altogether.

The final breath she drew in remained trapped in her lungs, her chest no longer moving.

Her heart, too, gradually lost its vigor, beating once, twice, before losing its rhythm and stopping altogether.

The slight tremor in her pulse slowly faded, and as it came to a complete stop, the last traces of life began to vanish from her body.

With all the tension drained from her body, it sank into the ground, cold and heavy.

Her body moved no more, remaining still and silent.

Every muscle had relaxed, her hands and feet hanging limply.

As I watched this transformation, I felt that my art had been completed.

The pain and fear she experienced until her last moments, and the tranquility that followed her loss of consciousness, all combined into a perfect work of art.

- Shifting Sands of Morality: A Personal Perspective -

The definition of beauty that I have discovered is distinctly different from traditional morality.

I once believed that the moral compass pointing northward offered the same direction for everyone, but over time, I realized that this could not be true.

The north on a moral compass is not fixed; it can shift in various directions depending on each individual’s life and experiences.

This revelation presented me with a new perspective, leading me away from the binary thinking of right and wrong and beginning my journey to find my own north.

I began to accept that everyone has their unique north.

For me, north was the primal and pure beauty I discovered in the art of asphyxiation.

The emotional variety and physical reactions revealed through the act of strangling a woman’s neck offered me deep inspiration and artistic satisfaction.

This beauty transcended the boundaries of traditional morality and became my own moral compass.

The beauty I found may differ from the standards of the majority, but it was, for me, the truth itself.

The delicate curve of a woman’s neckline, the growing tension as the rope tightened, and the desperate struggle to breathe represented a form of pure art.

The emotions I experienced through these moments, though different from what others might feel, held value in their own right.

This was not merely an aesthetic sense but a process of redefining the meaning of my existence and life.

This journey, which began with a chance encounter in my childhood, eventually played a crucial role in shaping my life and worldview.

I came to realize how important it is to acknowledge that everyone has their own north, to understand and respect these differences.

For me, the art of asphyxiation was the north my compass pointed to, and it became the core element in forming my unique moral and artistic beliefs.

Morality is a deeply personal matter.

It is defined differently according to each person’s beliefs and experiences; what may be right for one person may be unacceptable to another.

The pleasure and beauty I feel do not necessarily need to align with the standards of others.

My artistic expression and the satisfaction I derive from it originate from my unique sense, and though it may differ from others, it is worthy of respect in its own right.

We are often forced to act within the moral framework defined by society.

However, true meaning in art and expression can be found beyond those confines.

Art is a process of exploring and revealing the human soul.

And in that process, pain, fear, and despair are inevitable elements.

Tying a rope around the neck of the woman I worked with, causing her to experience the fear of asphyxiation in reality, was part of this exploration.

Her painful struggle and desperate resistance were not mere acts of violence.

They were an artistic expression, a perfect work of art created by both of us together.

Unlike the fake pain she felt in her performances, the real pain she experienced was much deeper and more genuine.

And it was within that truth that I discovered beauty.

This experience provided me with profound artistic fulfillment.

Her despair, her pain, and even the tranquility in her final moments were all part of my artistic expression.

This was not simply an act of violence or abuse but a noble process in the service of art.

The emotions I felt through her pain allowed her to experience a true part of life that she might not have otherwise encountered.

What is morality?

Morality is what we define and what we choose to follow.

My moral standards prioritize freedom of art and expression above all else.

And within that freedom, I create my own beauty.

The pain she experienced was an essential element in completing my artistic expression.

We judge morality based on our individual standards and live within those boundaries.

My standard is to respect the freedom of artistic expression and exploration.

Therefore, the experience I had with her can be fully justified within my moral framework.

This is my philosophy and an important perspective in understanding my art.

My world, hidden in the shadow of social judgment, is evidence of the value of free exploration and individual compasses.

The unique compass each of us holds is a crucial tool that guides our thoughts and actions.

The direction my compass points to may differ from the majority, but for me, it is the truth and my way of exploring the depth of beauty and emotion.

Society can be enriched by embracing a diversity of perspectives and beliefs.

Even if my worldview deviates from traditional notions, it is a unique understanding shaped by my life and experiences.

If society is open to recognizing and understanding each individual’s perspective, we can explore broader and deeper human experiences.

Human experience is diverse and complex.

The art of asphyxiation that I have found and the emotions it evokes challenge social norms.

This is not merely an aesthetic deviation but an attempt to explore deeper layers of human emotion.

My actions may differ from traditional artistic expressions, but they are my own way of expressing the world and the beauty within it.

My story is about finding one’s path by following one’s beliefs and experiences.

The path I walk may not be understood by others, but it stems from a deep understanding of the life I’ve lived and the beauty I believe in.

I aim to emphasize the importance of acceptance and understanding, allowing each person to follow their own compass and find their way.

Human experience is constantly changing and evolving.

It is crucial not to be confined by traditional moral standards but to listen to each person’s experiences and inner voice.

The beauty and moral compass I have found may differ from those of the majority, but for me, it is the truth.

This acceptance of the diversity and complexity of human experience, along with the understanding and respect of our differences, allows us to lead richer lives.

My journey is not merely a personal exploration but an attempt to understand the depth of human nature.

In the process of following one’s unique compass and finding one’s path, we can discover true freedom and beauty.

This is an essential journey in making our human experience deeper and richer.

- Redefining Ethics: Expanding Perspectives -

At the most primal level of human existence, the boundary between life and death is a subtle and profound realm.

This boundary requires a deep understanding of our emotions, sensitivities, and the essence of being.

The art form I pursue is an exploration of this very boundary.

It is a drama unfolding between the moments of life and death, where the delicate nuances of this boundary emit a powerful beauty.

My actions go beyond mere physical manipulation.

They are part of an effort to understand the depth and complexity of human nature.

The act of strangulation, the struggle in the moment, and the ultimate surrender each possess different emotional depths.

Each stage explores various aspects of human psychology and emotion, allowing a reflection on the value and meaning of life.

What I aim to reveal is the beauty found in chaos.

This is a form of artistic expression discovered at the boundary between life and death.

The act of asphyxiation captures moments of fear, despair, and ultimate tranquility.

Each of these moments emphasizes the mystery and depth of the human spirit, enriching and adding dimensions to our existence.

Traditional understandings of ethics and morality are challenged by my experiences and beliefs.

Regardless of how society views my actions, to me, they are a process of exploring the mystery of life and creating artistic expression.

My actions may transcend social norms, but they represent a profound exploration and respect for the fundamental truth of human existence.

Through this, I seek to redefine ethical standards and shed new light on the complexity and beauty of human existence.

Within the depths of human existence lie various layers of emotion.

These layers form the essence of our emotional nature, and within this abyss, I seek to find the true essence of art.

My actions, such as asphyxiation, go beyond mere physical acts.

They are a powerful medium for revealing the deepest emotions of a person, with each moment painting a different shade of emotion and displaying its depth.

My immersion in this process is akin to creating an artwork.

By deeply engaging with the life of my subjects, I capture their pure emotions on canvas.

These moments are crucial in exploring the final stages of life.

The actions unfolding between pain and pleasure, despair and hope, provide me with a deep understanding of human psychology.

My art is a dance of emotions, a drama that unfolds at the boundary between life and death.

This dance consists of different stages, each with its own emotional nuance.

From the initial shock of asphyxiation to the ultimate surrender, every stage reveals the depth of the human spirit, creating powerful artistic expression.

The art I create challenges traditional ethical views.

My actions explore fundamental aspects of human nature that differ from existing norms.

It is an acknowledgment of the complexity of human emotion and an acceptance of the drama that unfolds at the boundary between life and death.

My art delves into the depths of emotion, expanding our perception of ethical boundaries.

My journey is an exploration of the profound depth of emotions and an attempt to understand the depths of the human spirit.

The art I create may be difficult to comprehend in traditional terms, but it reflects a deep desire to explore the depth and complexity of human emotions.

My actions are an attempt to find beauty in emotional chaos and the depths of emotion, providing a new perspective and expanding our understanding.

In this journey, I seek to transcend the boundaries we take for granted.

It goes beyond simple moral norms, exploring the fundamental truths of human existence.

Through this exploration, I aim to shed new light on the depth and beauty of human emotion, making the world we live in richer and more meaningful.

This journey is about exploring the profound nature of humanity and discovering true beauty within it.