Is It Wrong To Crave Love (In A Dungeon)? Chapter 13 - Experience

“This is for you.”

“F-for Lilly?”

Hestia handed over the box of brand-new clothes and brand-new gear to the Supporter, Liliruca, and watched the girl’s trembling hands accept them. The Prum looked up, once, then down, to the box, the items, and clothes, all with the Hephaestus Familia insignia, and looked back up to her as if she was uncertain.

“L-Lady H-Hestia, L-Lilly can’t—”

“Don’t even say you can’t accept it.”

“But Lilly hasn’t done any—”

“Don’t you dare say you haven’t done anything for it either.”

Hestia huffed, crossing her arms underneath her chest. She resisted the urge to pinch the girl’s cheeks. You’re so much like Zee that it’s not even funny…

In the little, cozy basement of a rundown church, several shiny, pristine boxes were present. The scent of potatoes wafted through and into the air such that it was hard to speak without her mouth watering occasionally. Hestia glanced at the thirty-seven boxes of jagamarukun and felt that she may have gone a little bit overboard when she was splurging today.

Yet, she could not help it. For the first time since she had descended in the Lower World, when she had made purchases, she uttered three words that she had never dared imagine would come from her lips.

“Keep the change.”

Hestia could not put into words just how much pleasure those words had brought, to the point she had twirled her hair and cackled out loud like a maniac to the simultaneously terrified and amazed merchants, who were all too pleased to indulge in the penchants of the nouveau riche. Those words were liberating, and Hestia felt as if she had shed a burden that had been on her shoulders for as long as she could remember.

At the Jagamarukun store, she’d said, “Keep the change.” At the clothing stores, she’d said, “Bring me the finest garments!” At Hephaestus’ shop, she’d said, “I’ll pay in full.”

The power to make purchases without having to worry about her funds running dry, without needing to pinch every last valis and bang her head in despair as the number of zeroes made her want to jump off the nearest bridge.

No more!

Hestia was no longer a destitute goddess!

She had money now! Funds! Wealth! She’d get even richer as time passed because she didn’t need to pay taxes!

As such, Hestia had splurged. The first thing she did was get a set of clothes for Zee and Liliruca, and then, a set of clothes and a full adventurer’s gear for them both. Fortunately, Hephaestus had drilled into her brain knowledge of what gear was appropriate for what adventurers and their levels, so Hestia acquired only the finest set of adventuring gear that money could buy. Other things, such as specific armor or specific weapons, she’d leave to their choice and discretion.

Once she was done with that, she’d met Penia, the old coot, and dropped a small bag of coins into her beggar’s cup. 

The grouch had stared at her. “Who are you, and what have you done with Hestia?”

Hestia had not taken offense. Maybe, if it were the old Hestia, she’d have taken offense. However, that Hestia was miserly, and that Hestia had endured the unspeakable shackle that was poverty. Hestia was a new Goddess, filled with kindness, and as a new goddess, she’d only offered to buy Penia a meal any time the goddess needed one. 

“Did you rob a bank, Hestia?”

“I’m not poor anymore, Penia.”

“You’ll become poor again if you keep spending money like this.”

“I told myself that once I had money, the first thing I’d do is make sure the people I care for are taken care of! That counts you, too, damn old thing!”

“...You’re older than me, you know, right?”

“Just take my money already!”

Hestia had returned home with several boxes of items that needed to be carried by cart, which she paid for, as well as plenty of jagarmarukun. However, Hestia did not need to worry about any of them going bad, because Zee’s skill could be used to restore them if they did.

“B-but, the cost of—” Liliruca stammered. “These are all from the Hephaestus Familia… even the—”

She, red-faced, lifted a set of red brassieres into the air.

“L-Lady Hestia, h-how did you know my si—”

“Don’t underestimate me! I’m a goddess, you know!”

Hestia huffed, puffing her chest out. 

“Zee accidentally destroyed your old clothes, so new ones were needed. If the size is off, then—”

“N-no, these are…” She bit her lip. “They’re perfect. Lilly… Lilly doesn’t know what to say—”

Liliruca bowed profusely.

“T-thank you, Lady Hestia.”

“No bowing, we don’t do that here.” 

Hestia pinched her cheeks, pulling them playfully.

“Ah! Lady Hestia…!”

“Did you have any issues leaving?”

Liliruca shook her head. “Lilly… Lilly thought there would be problems, but… due to the Mister… Moses’ skill… a lot of people were asking to leave the Familia… so…”

“That’s good,” Hestia let out a breath. “Zee and I would have gone and given him a stern talking to if he’d refused to let you go.”

“Lilly… still can’t believe it,” Liliruca whispered. “For years Lilly thought… Lilly tried… and now… Lilly was able to… if Lilly didn’t meet Moses… if he didn’t enter the Dungeon…”

“My Zee is the best, of course,” Hestia’s nose went upwards. “But still… that Soma…”

What in the world is he even doing, letting his Familia become like that? 

Hestia did not know, and she did not want to know. Fortunately, he still had some level of sense and kept his word. If he hadn’t, Hestia was certain neither she nor Zee would have taken it lightly. They would have gone to outright war with the Soma Familia if needed.

“Well, it’s all behind you now. Come on, come sit, and I’ll engrave my Falna.” 

Hestia reached for one of the jagamarukun boxes and tossed it open, grabbing a sweet, sweet, hot potato puff and blowing on it lightly as she took a bite. She took one and handed it over to Liliruca, who accepted it quietly.

“T-thank you, Lady Hestia.”

They moved towards the bed, where Liliruca took off her top, and Hestia got into position, sitting behind her, as she held the jagarmarukun in between her teeth and lips.

“Hmhb, bwy gee whey, where dish Gee jo?”

By the way, where did Zee go?

“Lilly saw a note when Lilly came back. The Mister, Moses, said he’s gone off to a Tavern, the Hostess of Fertility.” 

Hostess of Fertility?

Hephaestus had told her about that particular pub when teaching her, using it as an example of a Familia-Affiliated Business.

Isn’t that the place associated with… the Freya Familia…?

Hestia frowned. Though it was getting late, and Zee likely wouldn’t run into any trouble, there had been something different about Zee this morning. They told each other everything, talked about everything, yet there was one thing that Zee completely avoided telling her, or mentioning around her, or speaking about towards her.

Any topic regarding sex.

Zee avoided it and would never mention it, but Hestia was a goddess, and she was his goddess, and she could tell when something was amiss. Hestia hastily finished the jagamarukun in her mouth and wiped her hands clean.

“Liliruca.”

“Y-yes, Lady Hestia?”

“Did you have dirty thoughts of Zee while you slept last night?”

Liliruca went stiff. Despite being directly behind her, Hestia could tell the girl’s face had turned varying shades of red at the question.  “E-eh?”

“It’s important.”

“Lilly— Lilly didn’t! Lilly wouldn’t—!”

Lie.

“This morning, did Zee get handsy with you?”

“M-Mister… um, Moses was…. very… forward…” She buried her face into her hands and added under her breath, “N-not that Lilly is… complaining…”

If he spent the entire night feeling Liliruca’s desire… 

And mine too… 

That skill of his…

Skills, Hephaestus told her, often had positives and negatives, checks and balances. It was incredibly rare for a skill that could exist with only 100% upsides, and if there was such a thing, then that skill would have certain strict conditions and criteria, which would make it useless if those conditions and criteria were not met. 

Ἀγάπη Μανία was such a skill that both had conditions and criteria, and also demerits, simply because of how blasphemous it was. If Zee ever stopped desiring love, the skill would cease to function. At the same time, because of his desire for love, the skill had… oddities.

Since Zee had gotten it, he had been sharing Hestia’s love. Parting her love, and receiving it, as well as her desire, and as well as her lust. Hestia knew he liked her; she knew he loved her, and despite her guaranteeing and assuring him that she felt the same way, Zee still saw her as a goddess. However, that didn’t mean he didn’t feel any lust towards her, just that he swallowed it down. 

He suppressed it.

The problem was, due to his skill, he was not just suppressing his own lust, but his own and hers combined. He had been enduring double the amount of desire because that skill made it so such emotions were ‘parted’ and ‘shared.’

Hestia wagered it must have already been difficult, enduring not only his own desire for her, but her own desire for him, which he could feel due to the innate empathic connection created by that skill. Last night, with Liliruca also here, with her spending the night with them, all three of them sleeping cuddled together, and her also clearly feeling the hots for him, the amount of desire and lust he was ‘sharing’ had been squared.

Zee was suppressing his own desire for her, and her own desire for him, and last night, he added his own desire for Liliruca, and Liliruca’s desire for him into the equation.

Hestia had reason to be concerned. Zee’s willpower was terrifying, but there were limits. Hestia was certain that had it been any other man in his shoes, they’d have already pinned both her and Liliruca last night and done away with any pretense of restraint. 

The children could only withstand their own desire, and even that was a struggle. The Pleasure District existed specifically because a lot of them could not withstand that desire, and many searched for legal outlets rather than doing bad things in the Dungeon to others. If the Pleasure District were to up and vanish one day…

Zee, on the other hand, due to his skill, not only had to endure feeling his own desire for others, but that of others compounded on him. Hestia likened it to sensory information; most people would be overwhelmed if they were suddenly forced to see through an additional set of eyes, or if they were to listen through two additional sets of ears. Zee had four additional sets he needed to juggle, and the number would only continue to increase the more he found people who tossed even a tiny bit of ‘love’ or ‘desire’ towards him.

Hestia rubbed her brows.

As his goddess, she could command him to let it out before those pent-up feelings exploded, and she was more than happy to be the one to help him in that manner, but… She didn’t want to order Zee to do something he was reluctant to do, because she knew he would obey her commands without question.

However, if things got too bad, Zee would be in pain.

He would be enduring, alone, suffering, alone, for a problem that could easily be solved.

If it’s for his own good…

Hestia would have to take action. Zee, stubborn as he was, would never make that move, so Hestia would have to be the one who took it upon herself to do it.

I think… you’re supposed to use lotion… and grab it hard… and twist it…

Hestia contemplated it.

Right…?

All gods had a form of limited omniscience, in that they feasibly knew everything there was to know in and of their Domains, which manifested in Authority over said Domains. They could, however, be completely ignorant of things and matters outside of their Domains. Hestia, in this regard…

Genuinely had no idea how to please a man.

That was nowhere in the topics Hephaestus covered.

Hearths, the Home, and Family were her domains, and in none of them was there an iota of sexual knowledge. She had zero experience. Zero knowledge. A true, proper, virgin. Before Zee, she had never even touched a man’s sexual organs.

Not only had she never practiced, she had also never ‘experimented.’ Thus, when it came to helping Zee with that particular problem, Hestia only had some vague ideas of what she thought should be done.

Do I need to ask Hephaestus?

She and Aphrodite were close… so she should know… right?

No, but… that might be a bit too… much for a request…

Well… how hard could it be…? Besides, Zee is like me as well… he doesn’t have any experience… So… he can’t know if… if I’m bad… right?

Hestia was feeling strangely anxious. Zee was no doubt like her. He would be completely inexperienced, too. However, if she messed up badly, it would reinforce the idea in Zee’s mind that she was too ‘pure’ for him. Hestia knew Zee had such notions that he could not afford to be the one to remove her status as a Virgin Goddess. She had explained to him that it was not as big a deal, but Zee, for some stubborn reason, really did not see it that way.

If she were bad, she would only reaffirm that notion, which would only make things worse.

The problem was, one needed experience not to be bad, and she absolutely had no intention of getting experience from anyone other than Zee… but she didn’t want to be bad at pleasing Zee, and needed to know what she was doing… but for that, she needed experience…

Hestia ran on autopilot as she began carefully engraving her Falna on Liliruca’s back, somehow perfectly focusing on the task, as she did consider the dilemma of solving Zee’s particular problem.

Zee… might not be less experienced than me… if he somehow meets one of those skank goddesses…

With Takemikazuchi, it had taken a week, and Hestia wagered it was because Zee’s skill and his affections were biased towards the fairer sex. Within one week of spending time with Zee, lightly correcting his stances, giving him advice, light, gentle taps and touches, constantly looking at him, paying attention to him, teaching and helping him… 

The War God had come to her, quietly, and said, “I can face off against Adventurers without having a Falna, and it would take outlasting me, or multiple Adventurers of Level Four or higher to be able to defeat me. It would be unfair to my own children, unfair to everyone who has ever pursued honing their martial arts with earnestness, and unfair to his enemies if I continued to train him.”

“Henceforth, whoever Moses fights will, in fact, be facing… Me.”

Takemikazuchi had not found it amusing.

“But they won’t be doing so, as I am, with the limits of a normal human, but they will be facing me, enhanced by a Falna, with magic, and with a body that does not tire. Do you understand how despairing such a thing would be to anyone?”

“If no skills are taken into account, and it is a contest of pure martial ability… Against someone of the same Level, he is invincible. Against someone a Level higher, he cannot lose. Against someone two levels higher, they cannot win.”

Hestia knew, just as Takemikazuchi knew, that the reason behind it all was that Zee had ‘shared’ a bit of his Authority, the Authority of a God of War. Even that tiny bit of Authority from Takemikazuchi, which the God estimated to be about 1% was enough to put Zee in a different category from anyone else.

Hestia had sought Hephaestus and asked, in a roundabout manner, what would happen if a person had just 1% of her Divine Authority and sought to become a blacksmith.

“They would become amongst the greatest mortal smiths in the world.”

“With just 1%? That can’t make much of a difference… right?”

“That 1% contains 1% of my Divine Insight in Smithing, 1% of my knowledge on Metallurgy, 1% of my understanding of Alloy Composition, Phase Transformations, Grain Structure, Heat Treatment, Hardening, Quenching, Tempering, and Temperature Control. They’ll have 1% of my knowledge and abilities in Annealing, 1% of my Hammer Control, 1% of my innate grasp of Edge Geometry, Harmonics, Pattern Welding, Folding and Lamination, 1% of my skills at Polishing, Etching, and Sharpening—”

“With just that 1% of knowledge, even if they were an infant, even if they were blind, even if their hands were lost, even if they had to forge with their teeth and their legs alone, they would still be better than ninety-nine percent of all blacksmiths.”

“There is a near-unbreachable gap between the abilities of the gods and those of the children. Even the worst paintings of Apollo and the worst wines of Soma are considered flawless, priceless treasures.”

Hestia did not know how much of her own Authority that skill gave to Zee, or if it did at all, as due to his second skill, Zee could summon her and use her Authority in the Dungeon regardless.

Zee was closest to her, so he was always parting with her, sharing everything with her, and as she was his Goddess, Hestia could not say how long it would take for Zee to ‘share’ Divine Authority. What she did know, according to the skill's vague description, was that intimacy was the key to greatly speeding up the time needed. The richer the intimacy, be it physical intimacy or emotional intimacy, the quicker the skill would activate and would begin to ‘share’ someone’s abilities, skills, and traits… as well as their desire…

Which meant… in theory, Zee would have more ‘experience’ than her, and be more skilled than her at bedroom matters, if he encountered any Deity who had such prowess baked into their Authority, or if he felt the love of someone with such skills.

Hestia, however, thought the odds were low.

It’s not like Zee is going to be out there holding hands with those skank goddesses or getting lap dances from them…

Given how physical contact was needed, Hestia didn’t feel it likely. Most goddesses weren’t really the touchy-feely type. Even Hephaestus kept her at arm’s length when she tried to hug her.

There might be a bigger issue if Zee does meet one of them…

Because everything was shared, Zee, who was already reaching his limit…

It should be fine… right?

Hestia hummed.

But just in case, when Zee gets back…

Hestia looked at the Falna now fully engraved on Liliruca’s back and smiled.

We’ll have surprises waiting for him.

=====)+(=====

…Is he insane or simply that smitten?

Elven ears were sharper than many gave credit for, but few of them had trained their senses to be as sharp as hers. Ryū heard it all, the tiny, whispered conversation held between Moses Vanderzee and the Goddess Loki. She heard it, and even then, she dared not believe it.

“I do not wish to know whatever reason it is you interfered, Lady Loki. But I would kindly ask you do not get in my way again.”

“For these violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die, like fire and powder, which as they kiss consume.”

Threatening a Goddess. Not just any Goddess, but Loki. It was an activity not even the most drunken of fools would dare attempt, and even the sickest and most twisted of adventurers to whom the lives of their fellow adventurers were worth less than cabbages, absolutely none would dare to say they would have the courage to imply a threat to a goddess simply because that goddess was getting in the way of their date.

Ryū was, to her rare admittance, both impressed and simultaneously baffled by the audacity. What she did not understand, however, was why Lady Loki rapidly departed from the man’s lap, and why, a moment after, Moses Vanderzee’s gaze and demeanor shifted subtly.

Lady Loki almost looked as if she had seen a ghost. There was something more. Something Ryū would almost call blasphemy, to claim that she felt interpreting the visage, stance, and motions of a Goddess, but Lady Loki’s actions were clear.

Apprehension. Uncertainty. Caution.

Prudence.

Vigilance. 

The concept was almost too absurd to believe. 

A newbie, Level 1 Adventurer could make a Goddess feel a sense of Vigilance?

Lady Loki shot him one last lingering glance, muttered something too low for even Ryū’s elven ears to catch, and departed after dropping down a small pouch to cover her bill. Hands in pockets, she exited the Hostess of Fertility, to Ryū’s surprise, and, also, apparently, to Moses Vanderzee’s surprise.

The surprise on his face looked almost so genuine that if Ryū did not know better, she would have believed it as well.

…Dangerous.

That was Ryū’s new estimation of Moses Vanderzee.

A meticulous actor… lacking any sense of self-preservation… and possessing reckless courage to the point of stupidity.

In hindsight, such traits should have been obvious. Ryū appreciated the changes he was attempting to make to the Dungeon; she did, more than anyone, but, at the same time, she was no naive girl unaware of the type of place Orario was, or of the seedy undercurrent that existed and thrived off the dangers and low safety of the Dungeon. Trying to change the Dungeon as a Level One Adventurer required reckless courage, and if not a lack of self-preservation, a reduced sense of it, given the sheer number of enemies such an act was destined to make. 

If he were, on the contrary, someone who had a healthy level of self-preservation and lacked stupid courage, those campfires of his in the Dungeon would never be established.

Someone like him… was a person Ryū would be content to appreciate from afar. Ryū could not say she would feel at ease if he were to be around Syr. Moses Vanderzee was destined to make a lot of enemies, and as he was, she doubted he was capable of protecting himself, let alone others.

Syr…

Syr emerged from the kitchen carrying a tray with two plates of soup filled past the normal level, which, to Ryū’s chagrin, no doubt was likely not meant to be eaten. She paused, blinking in surprise after finding no sight of Lady Loki, and turned to her.

“Lady Loki is… gone?”

“Yes.”

Ryū hesitated. Ultimately, she spoke the truth.

“He chased her away. I overheard something that may have been a threat, and he told her not to interfere in his pursuit of you.”

Ryū had always known Syr was fearless, but she found that there were depths to her fearlessness that even she had not uncovered. Most girls, Ryū liked to believe, would have felt a bit of caution, or worry, knowing that the person they were interested in may have just garnered the wrath of a goddess due to them, but Syr…

“He… did?”

Syr smiled so brightly it stung.

It was one of the rarest, brightest, most genuine smiles Ryū had ever seen on Syr’s face. It momentarily took her back. Syr had always laughed and smiled, but there was a difference to this particular smile that Ryū could not place, a pureness to it that almost made her feel as if all the smiles she had ever seen on Syr’s face before that moment had been fake.

Syr was elated. Excited. Positively bubbling at the fact that Moses Vanderzee had rebuked and risked the displeasure of a goddess for her. She placed the tray aside but skipped forward, and a gleam in her eyes and a quickness in her breath. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Syr smile like that, nya~”

Beside her, Anya popped up, the girl’s cat-ears twitching as they did. Ryū didn’t comment. It was true, and there was a bit of a dissonance in accepting that it was true. Granted, she had always known that the love between friends was always different from the love born of romantic passions, but there was still that bit of a sting in her chest from knowing Moses Vanderzee could make Syr smile in a way that Ryū, her close friend, had never seen.

Was Syr… looking for…?

Had Syr… been lonely? Had she been secretly searching for a romantic partner? Syr had not mentioned such. No, as a matter of fact, before the matter of Moses Vanderzee came up, Ryū could not recall Syr mentioning such a thing, except once. Once and only once, when the topic came up, idly, Syr had smiled in a way that did not reach her eyes and said that she was searching for ‘someone special.’

Was Moses Vanderzee that special someone?

“AH!”

Ryū’s gaze snapped towards the table. In moments, her eyes examined the scene. He was holding Syr’s hand, her fingers, and she had collapsed to her knees. She was biting her lip, and her eyes were—

“What are you doing to Syr, nya?!”

Ryū was already moving before Anya could speak, and before her brain fully processed what was happening. All she knew was that Syr was either hurting or in danger, and Moses Vanderzee was the cause. She swept forward to grab his arm, Vanderzee, fully intending on pulling him out of his seat, twisting it behind him, and subduing him, to knock him down to the ground—

He avoided her grasp.

…What?

His arm smoothly, cleanly, withdrew, avoiding the path of her grasp before she could touch him.

“Wait, there’s been a—”

She tried a second time, aiming for his collar, only for him to divert her attempt with a single palm, gently and calmly, deflecting her hand with his wrist in a sweeping motion. She attempted a third time, and this time, he leaned out of the way like a contortionist, performing a handstand off the bench and jumping atop the table.

“Ryū! Wait!”

Syr grabbed onto her apron to stop her, but even if she hadn’t, Ryū had already stopped moving because she could not fathom what had just happened. Simultaneous confusion and alarm tore through her thoughts. Once was luck, twice was coincidence, but three times?

A Level One, Newbie Adventurer evaded her three times?

Ryū had not been holding back. She had gone after him with her full speed, the speed of a Level Four Adventurer, fully intending on subduing him as swiftly and as painlessly as possible. She’d intended to ask him what he’d done to Syr only after her knee was on his spine and his arm was behind his back.

Yet, he saw the path of her attack before it came. He predicted her actions and preemptively moved to avoid them, as if he were someone playing a board game and anticipating the enemy's next steps years in advance.

Given his lower Level, such a thing should only be possible if his combat sense and his combat skill vastly surpassed hers, such that reading her attacks was child’s play. Yet, that should not be possible, because he was supposed to be a Rookie. 

“I-I’m fine! I was just startled. He didn’t do anything, Ryū.”

“Syr?”

Ryū didn’t let her gaze leave Moses Vanderzee for a second as she shot a glance at her friend to check on her well-being. 

“I’m fine, really!” 

Syr claimed to be fine, but there was an unusual red hue to her cheeks. A faint redness. Her breath was short and uneasy, and her legs occasionally trembled, as if unsteady.

“Are you sure you’re—?”

“I’m fine.”

Syr’s tone was unusually hoarse. Dry. Raspy. Rushed. She was embarrassed about something, but Ryū did not know what. However, Ryū could tell that Syr wanted to drop the topic, avoid the topic.

“I see,” Ryū turned to Moses Vanderzee, who got off the table.

“Today looks like it's just… one of those days for me, I think. I’d say the universe is conspiring against me.”

Syr clasped her hands. “I’m really, really sorry about this—”

“No, I understand,” Moses shook his head. “But it’s getting late. I... should be returning home, returning to my goddess. Would you mind seeing me off, Syr?”

Ryū kept her gaze on Moses Vanderzee and on Syr, as her friend escorted him out the door. There was something off about the entire encounter, and something off about him that she could not explain, yet she wouldn’t do something as unnecessary as invading their privacy and eavesdropping. Syr would ask, and somehow, Syr would know. Her friend could be scarily canny at times, and really hard to lie to.

However, Ryū was certain now that there was more to the Captain of the Hestia Familia than was publicly known. If Syr was truly serious about this newfound affection she had for him…

Hm? 

Ryū’s keen gaze noticed something.

Why are there droplets of water on the ground here? Isn’t this where Syr was standing?

It looked hastily wiped away underfoot by Syr's shoe. But where did the water come from?

Ryū hastily grabbed a mop, not thinking much of it. 

“R-Ryū, that’s… um… nya…”

Anya's face was strangely red.

“Anya? What’s wrong?”

“I… no… you’d… best mop, so no one else… slips… nya.”

Ryū quietly nodded, tilting her head at the girl’s odd behavior. 

Could it be? Syr slipped? 

It was plausible. No, it was most likely the case. Syr could be unusually clumsy, even at the best of times. If she had slipped and then it was Moses Vanderzee who caught her, but perhaps used more force than needed, Ryū would owe him a formal and stringent apology.

And when she gave him that apology…

She would find out how an inexperienced Rookie could avoid her attacks.