Character Sheets Ep 3:

Becoming Myself, Nix Ni Arlan

Characters Featured:  Nix Ni Arlan, Mix Ni Arlan

I’ve been a member of Angel’s Sword since shortly before it was formed.  Actually, I was with them before the Divine War too when my Twin Sister took me along with her to work on the airship, Nadesico.  It was there that I met Ayra, Sylvie and Enrin as I performed my duties as their navigator.  Honestly there were a lot of times that it was scary and I felt I was in over my head.  One time we dove straight towards the ground in order to fire the ship’s main cannon at a monster!  It was really crazy stuff…

I sat in my navigator’s chair, running my fingers along the several artifices that made for the routing system.  Sensing the flow of the leyline and taking into account the momentum and inertia of the ship is a part of a navigator’s job.  In simple words, making sure that the airship sails smoothly and in the right direction.  After making a few adjustments with the click of knobs, I headed to my quarters which was down the Valkyria’s spiral wooden staircase.

Once there, I went through my laundry basket, proudly hanging up my brand new clothing I had been slowly saving my precious clim for.  “Ah… I wonder how Mix would look in this.  It wouldn’t fit her at all huh…” I laughed to myself.

My gaze slowly moved to the box of glass bottles that were seated upon my reading desk.  Each of the narrow and tall bottles were filled with a green liquid that gave off a dim glow.  Etched onto each bottle was the emblem of Philomel Lapis, who was widely considered to be one of the top alchemists in the realm.  I knew her quite well—in fact she was the ship’s doctor on board the Nadesico.

I took one of the bottles into my hand and ran my fingers along its smooth form, playing with it a bit before reaching up to the cork stopper at the top and popping it off.  I swirled it a bit in my hand with a sigh before drinking the entire thing in one gulp.  If I had to describe the taste… I would say it tasted like mugwort and cloves with a strange mellow sweetness.  The aftertaste was bitter though…

A strange heat flowed through my body like a wave, causing me to shiver.  I still wasn’t quite used to that feeling, but it wasn’t as harsh as the first time I took it.  Subsequent doses seemed to have no effect on me, but that’s all I wanted.  The only desire I had was to not go back…

Taking the empty flask in my hand, I set it neatly into a box of empty ones before taking the time to run my fingers along the tops of them all.  Each made a crystalline ringing sound as they rattled in the box.  I smiled with melancholy, lost in thought ‘I need these… I feel like I’m nothing without them.  If I didn’t have them I’d return to being that strange and uncomfortable thing that I once was, wouldn’t I?’

It wasn’t my fault that I was born that way…  A funny thing that almost no one else thinks about was something that plagued my thoughts everyday.  I had lost the most important coin flip of my life—one that had set a smoldering blaze aflame in my heart for which I would have no cure.  Would my sister feel the same in my position?  Would she be okay with not fitting in either way?  In one path I would feel uncomfortable with myself, and in another uncomfortable in my search for belonging.  In no other way has the word “normal” ever meant so much to me, but it was all I desired.

Before I had known it, wet drops splattered onto my hand and onto the bottles in a prismatic shine.  Raising my hand to my eyes, I hunched over and began to sob to myself as I had done several times in the past.  But today was different—the latch to my door turned with a click as it creaked open.  Standing there before me, her face covered in dirt and oil was my older Twin Sister, Mix.

Without hesitation she stepped towards me.  Quickly enveloping me in her arms, squeezing so tightly that I hiccupped in my struggle for breath.  I recoiled naturally in my vulnerability, but I was no match for her strength.

“Nix… what’s wrong?  Why are you crying?” she spoke to me softly in a worried tone.  I could smell artifice grease and smoke from her overalls.

“Ah, it’s…” I was going to lie again and say that everything was okay.  I didn’t want to bother my kind and dashing big sister, but today I gave in to her inquiry.  “I just want to be normal.”

Mix paused for a moment in shock, moving just barely away from me that she could see the pained expression on my face.  I thought she would laugh at me, but with utmost seriousness she replied in a way I did not expect.

“But Nix, you’re not normal,” she spoke in an oddly surprised way, her eyes locked onto mine.  I could feel her hands squeezing my arms through her thick leather gloves.  My heart skipped a beat.

I nervously averted my gaze before the reality of what she spoke struck my heart like a bullet.  Like a puppet liberated from its strings, my body sunk from the sudden loss of energy.  Mix clung to me tighter to catch me.

“Yeah… I know I’ll never be a normal girl,” I resigned in her grasp.

My sister blinked a few times in confusion before smiling, “So what?  You’re my favorite girl… look at my cute little sister with her cute little nose!”  She prodded at my nose with her glove, leaving a smudge of grease on the tip.  Noticing my pained expression she signed and walked over to my bed, sitting down and beckoning for me to take a seat next to her.  I sat with a bounce.

Mix continued with a loving smile, “I’m not normal either.  Maybe in different ways… remember how dad wanted me…”

I completed her, “To be a navigator or a captain?”
Mix snapped her finger, “Right!  He said…” she mimicked our Father’s voice, “A lady shouldn’t be covered in grease!  Now look at me.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the situation, “You’re the best ship engineer in Mothergreen now…”

My sister nodded and patted my head, further adorning me with grease, “And I get to work with one of the best navigators in the realm, my adorable little sister.  I love the little sister I have now as much as I loved the adorable little brother that I once knew.”  She took my hand and squeezed it, “If people tell you that you’re not normal then tell them—So what?  Should I be treated poorly because I’m not?”

Mix pulled back a bit and poked me right on the heart, “And that includes you missy… don’t treat my little sister poorly okay?”

I gave a bittersweet smile, a flood of emotions welling up in pressure behind my nose and eyes.  My eyes glanced over at those bottles once more, the ones that help me to feel more like who I am on the inside.  Ever observant Mix reached out to hug me once more.

“Old man Horace drinks an elixir everyday for his bad knees.  So taking medicine everyday isn’t that strange.”  My big sister moved in closer to whisper into my ear, “And who knows… maybe in this wonderful world we will find a Divine Arms that will remove your reliance on Philomel’s medicine.  Shelly amazes me everyday.”

I felt a glimmer of hope in my heart.  Perhaps one day we might find or discover a Divine Arms like Shelly, or an artifice or some sort of magic that would become a more permanent solution for me.  The limp arms that had fallen to my side regained their strength as I pulled them up to return my sister’s embrace.  I sobbed, “Big sis… I love you so much.”

Mix let her glove fall as she ran her soft fingers through my hair, “I love you too little sis.”

Even though I have trouble accepting myself.  I know that the family I have around me will.  My Sister, Ayra, Enrin, Shelly, Philomel, Sylvie and Zurie…  for now I’ll lean on them, and slowly learn to accept myself as I know they do.  I’m Mix’s little sister after all.

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Nix Ni Arlan onboard the Valkyria

Mix Ni Arlan, Nix's Big Sister at the Mothergreen Airship Docks

Author's Note:   Mix and Nix have actually be around for longer than Leaflit.  They originally appeared as NPCs in Lyrian Chronicles V as the airship crew of the Nadesico and later appeared in Lyrian Chronicles VI after the timeskip.  Mix is one of the founding members of Angel's Sword Guild and is the wielder of Divine Arms:  Consciousness Emulation ~ Shelly.  Mix and Nix always had a wonderful sibling relationship, always working together to ensure that the party had smooth sailing on the Leylines.  Nix was a critical character that was able to read the energy waves so that they could arrive at their destinations with speed.

Nix's original appearance in the setting was over seven years ago, and this story was originally planned to be Character Sheets 8.  I moved up the schedule a bit because I really wanted to tell her story after recent events.  The theme of the story is "finding yourself" despite others (and maybe your own) doubts in life. 

"If people tell you that you're not normal then tell them—So what?"

-Mix Ni Arlan

Also if you're wondering why I keep flip flopping between first and third person... its because I find it easier to write in first person except for when its one of my own characters.  😥

Written by:  Leaflit
AI Artist: Sabbrewolf