Sirius Black test chapter

Plot: What if Sirius had gotten free? What if he insisted on taking in Harry? How would Harry's life be if Sirius had taken him in?

Scene 1 -

Sirius was honestly not sure if he was dreaming or not. It seemed like only yesterday that he was still in that hellhole known as Azkaban, yet now, he seemingly wasn't. No, what he was instead was sitting inside the office of one Amelia Bones. He wasn't even wearing those horrid prison robes; he had managed to get his beard trimmed and his hair sorted out, so he looked less like an escaped prisoner and more like a distinguished member of society.

After he had managed to find Pettigrew, Harry had convinced him to turn the rat bastard in to the authorities, instead of killing him. It was honestly one of the hardest decisions he had ever made in his life, as there were very, very few things he wanted more than to kill Pettigrew for not only betraying him, but also leading James and Lily to their deaths. However, his godson was on the list, and with Pettigrew in custody, he could hopefully get custody of Harry.

"Well, Mr Black," Madam Bones said after looking through some documents. "I had talked with Minister Fudge, and he seemed most eager to fast-track your application."

"He doesn't want bad press and is trying to make me happy," Sirius translated out loud.

"More or less," Amelia Bones nodded freely, not even bothering to deny it. "His current plot involved blaming everything on, quote, 'the previous administration', unquote. Speaking of which, we had a fairly big surprise when we visited Barty Crouch's place to question him. Apparently, you weren't the first person to escape Azkaban."

"Excuse me?" Sirius blinked, feeling somewhat offended by that.

"Yes, well, apparently, Barty Senior had managed to sneak Junior out of Azkaban by swapping him out with his dying wife."

"That doesn't count!" Sirius protested at once. "He had help! I escaped all on my lonesome."

"Fine," Madam Bones sighed with forced patience. "You are officially the only person to have ever properly escaped from Azkaban, happy?"

"No, I had to escape from Azkaban," Sirius said at once. "Still, please tell me that that's where Crouch will be going,"

"Senior and junior both," Madam Bones confirmed. "Some questioning has revealed that you're not even the first person Barty threw into Azkaban without a trial, let's just say that if he ever gets out of Azkaban then he probably won't live long to enjoy it."

"Good," Sirius huffed. "So, about Harry, I am -"

"Yes," She told him. "You're officially his legal guardian, Mr Black. Congratulations."

Scene 2 -

"Sirius," Remus said as he walked into Grimmauld Place and found Sirius shrinking his trunk into a pocket-sized one and putting it away.

"Hiya, Moony," Sirius greeted him. "How's it going?"

"Not bad, what about you?" Remus asked in response.

"It's going great," Sirius grinned. "Harry's upstairs, getting ready. We're both going to go on a round-the-world trip. France, Spain, and even America. I can finally complete Lily and James's dreams."

"Their dreams?" Remus repeated, giving him a questioning look.

"Oh yes," Sirius nodded solemnly. "You see, James wanted desperately for Harry to grow up and get married to a nice and lovely wife."

"Ah, that makes sense," Remus nodded before gesturing for Sirius to keep talking.

"Yes, but then that leaves us with Lily's dream." Sirius continued. "She had told me multiple times that as his godfather, it was my job if she and James weren't there to make sure that Harry gets - and I am quoting her here - all the bitches."

"All the bitches?" Remus blinked.

"Every single one," Sirius confirmed seriously. "She wants him to get the Hogwarts bitches, the muggle bitches, the muggleborn bitches, the half-blood bitches, the pureblood bitches, the international bitches, and she emphasised that there was to be at least one veela. So, I thought of a good comprise and decided that if we go around the world and Harry happens to find some nice bitches then so be it."

"Why does my mum want me to have so many dogs?" A confused Harry asked as he walked down the stairs, having only heard the last part of the conversation.

"I'll tell you when you're older," Sirius said at once.

"Hi Professor Lupin," Harry greeted Remus. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, well, Dumbledore sent me to try and convince you both to stay here and not leave the country," Remus said with an apologetic shrug.

"What a dickhead," Harry frowned.

"Sirius," Remus sighed deeply.

"What? I didn't teach him that," Sirius shrugged.

"I spent the majority of my life in the Gryffindor common room and the Dursley house. I know my way around adult words." Harry said proudly.

Scene 3 -

"What would drive you to do such foolishness?!" Albus Dumbledore demanded as he stared across the table at Sirius, who in the middle of the order meeting, was absently looking through a list he had made.

"I fail to see the issue." Sirius said without looking away from his list.

"You told Harry Potter the prophecy despite my explicit instructions not to!" Dumbledore thundered. "That information in the wrong hands could be deadly."

"What better hands are there than those that defeated Voldemort multiple times before even graduating from school?" Sirius shrugged. "I trust Harry completely."

"It's not about trust, Sirius. It's my belief that Voldemort is able to access Harry's mind. He could find the information directly from Harry."

"Not likely," Sirius said at once. "I've had a few people check over his mental defences, apparently he's a prodigy in the mind arts."

"Unlikely," Snape snorted from his corner in the room.

"Oh yeah," Sirius grinned as he finally looked away from his list. "I remember Harry telling me that he keeps thinking of lewd pictures of girls to drive you out of his mind."

"What?!" Snape demanded, realising that Potter wasn't just a hormonal teenager and was actively throwing those images in his direction. It was because of Potter that Snape had now developed an interest in the fictional heroine 'Powergirl', and he was going to make the boy pay for that. "What are you even looking at?" Snape demanded, gesturing to the list.

"Hmm, oh, just a list of potential brides for Harry," Sirius answered with no shame or hesitation.

"Wait, really?" Tonks blinked.

"Oh, you're on the list," He told her cheerily, looking as if he expected her to drop to her knees in gratitude. "Even in the top ten. No small feat when you consider I have some veelas and some very rich girls on the list." Sirius added before pausing thoughtfully. "Oh, Merlin, I could convince him to take multiple wives and take the rest as consorts. They could all make multiple Potter children each. I could single-handedly revive the whole Potter bloodline!" Sirius grinned brightly, ignoring the looks from everyone else. He was sure that Lily was going to be so proud of him!