Captisa County Pageant: Cry for Five

I have a love/hate relationship with womanless pageants. My biggest pet peeve is when men don't take being a lady seriously! Only about two more days of pageant caps!

All we needed was five. Just five participants for Miss Captisa County his year and the pageant could go on as planned. The ladies this year did not seem interested in a traditional pageant like our county has been proud of for generations. I tried everything to recruit. Extra prizes, sponsorships, community service hour credits didn’t seem to interest any of them. Some salons even volunteered services for hair that were worth hundreds of dollars. The local dress shop offered to donate gowns but nothing interested the young ladies of the town. That’s when my problem-solving skills came into play. Who said any of the participants had to be born a girl? Pretty girls are made, not born. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but we all know it takes a lot of money, effort, and skill to look gorgeous.

Back in spring, a local school had a womanless pageant as part of a fundraiser. Most of the guys didn’t take it seriously at all by not shaving facial hair, acting goofy and overdramatic on stage, and making somewhat of a mockery of boys being dressed like girls. I contacted the director of that pageant to make arrangements for those boys to be entered into Miss Captisa County and learn what a real pageant is about!

The boys were promised their pageant efforts would pay off, literally as all expenses would be paid and each would be given a $200 stipend at the end of the pageant plus any prize money for the fair queen, first runner-up, second runner-up, and most photogenic. They were not happy about literally being forced to enter the pageant, especially one with the nickname of Cryofly who felt the entire concept was ridiculous and that none of the boys could ever look like passable women for the pageant. His thoughts were soon changed as they were taken to a salon to get their body hair waxed, facials completed, eye brows arched, injections put in their lips, cheekbones, and eye brows, plucked, falsies glued on, princess wands tucked; and all of this was a week before the pageant so they could practice their dance routine in their cute skimpy outfits! Each contestant was also given an older female who had been in pageants before to coach them on using feminine voices and mannerisms as well as how to walk and sit like a proper lady.

If they tried to pull the same stunts they did during the womanless pageant, they were immediately reprimanded and told the hair extensions and breast forms would stay on LONG after the pageant was over if they didn’t comply with acting ladylike! Though, by the way some of the new girls are acting, they may want this to be a permanent transformation! Cryofly tried being Mr. Toughguy around his bros when the pageant began. But now, SHE is happy to be crowned queen in her red pageant gown and had a blast with her sissy friends on stage.