Date with the Principal for Bob Smith

“You owe me BIG TIME for this! I’m talking paying for the rest of college tuition, down payment on a house, paying off my Honda Civic, a yearly subscription to things on Patreon, and MORE!”

“Come on. You know you are enjoying this. I may be able to … umm.. Get you a gift certificate to Ulta Beauty or something.”

“It’s nice to be able to drink (legally) and have other things paid for but not going to lie.. Being a woman is HARD! It takes forever to get ready to go out in public. Had to spend hours training my voice and mannerisms and learning what women in their early-30s like. Make up some bull crap story about how I went to an Ivy League school, was married to a guy in finance, raised Bryadon even though he is your biological child...”

“And I will love you for this til the day time! This is the only chance for Bryadon to get into that private school. They aren’t going to want any child with parents who have a record! His father is still in jail and won’t be out for a while and I’m on probation until April. You are the best cousin for doing this for me.”

“Courtney… how long is this supposed to go on for? It is ridiculous for you to think I’m going to spend all my time living the life as a woman with a child who wants to be president of the PTA and let alone… is dating the principal in hopes to go get their child into the school!”

“It was the perfect match on Minder! This bets college life for you I’m sure. Plus, you are adapting your taste to love wine, yogurt, charcuterie boards, and sushi! Much better stuff than that garbage you would find in the college cafeteria!”

“I’ll do my best until Bryadon is accepted and the scholarship for grade school is covered! This is my second date with the principal. He is… a nice guy… and attractive.”

“Glad to see you two are hitting it off!”

“But I’ve never dated men before and he’s eventually going to want something I can’t give him. Not going that far either. Maybe a kiss tonight… that’s it.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve already thought about all of this. There is a surgeon I found on Reddit visiting the area from another country who is willing to perform the surgery for cheap. You may want to liquor up tonight to avoid the pain that may occur tomorrow. He can give you real b**bies and a v*g to make sure your man never knows the difference! This is so amazing and I love you so much for progressing your life in a positive way for our family and yours!”