29. Questions

Billy's POV

"I  hate it. I hate this feeling," I thought to myself. I was grieving. I  was grieving the person I thought I could trust but ended up just  stabbing me in the back. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have  given myself to him like that. Hadn't I done that, my heart wouldn't be  broken into millions of pieces. All because of Tom.

It's  not fair. I thought that he was the one. I mean as a friend, that is.  I'd never opened up to anybody like that before. I... I need him. I  don't know what to do without him. When I turned my back on him that  day, part of me expected and wanted him to come run after me. I sound  like a teenage girl that's in love. Maybe I even am; I don't know. It  doesn't have to be a romantic type of love; I can just love him like a  sibling, right?

And  yet he just let me go. He chose Tom over me. I still want him to, I  dunno, call me, but then again, he doesn't even have my phone number. I  never gave it to him. Should I go after him? Or should I try to move on  from him?

Tom's POV

I  fucking like this guy so much. Even though I'm not showing it, my  stomach's acids feel as if they're going to burn through my gastric  mucosal barrier. My heart races, and my knees feel as if I need to get  on the ground on all fours when he looks in my eyes. Sure thing, I've  had a number of crushes in this school, but nobody's made me weak as  Nate has.

The fact  that this guy is now mine and mine only makes me question reality. Is  this part of my imagination? A hallucination? Because Nate is out of my  league. His glasses suit his nerd persona so well. Sure, being a nerd  isn't the only thing he is, but it sure makes him cute as fuck. I just  feel this desire to protect him from the evils of the world, like Billy.

I  want to show this guy the world. At least the physical world because  for me, he is my world. My everything. I had no idea I even had the  capacity to consider somebody so precious, but then Nate popped up and  changed everything.

Nate's POV

Sure  thing, I like Tom, but I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt for  not reaching out to him to hopefully fix whatever we have left of our  friendship. I should just forget him. He made his choice and abandoned  me, and if I have an ounce of self-respect, I should just let him go. I  do understand that I made a mistake kissing Tom, but I didn't think it  through. Would I ditch Tom if he were to come back into my life? No.  Maybe that's selfish of me, but I'd choose romance over friendships  anytime. Romantic relationships are so much deeper and intimate than  friendships. I know both are going to end the moment high school is  over, so I'm just going with the option that's going to benefit me the  most.