hello! <3 (how is your day?)
Added 2024-06-18 08:59:00 +0000 UTC(little tw for eating disorders, mentioned in paragraph 5 in case you wanna avoid that!!)
hi everyone! how is your day? today is a calm day for me, but i am quite bored. it’s way too hot to go outside, 33°C on the thermometer and it’s only getting hotter ;_;
nothing is going on for now, i do have an event at the end of the week and next weekend there is a small cosplay gathering, at a local geek pub. i will cosplay sigewinne from genshin impact, a recently released character along with the fontaine region.
on another note, job hunting isn’t going well,,, i’m forced to quit smoking due to a lack of stable income, which is not a bad thing. truth be told my addiction got worse in the past weeks, going from a pack every two days to a pack every 24 hours,,,, many jobs that i applied to have refused me from the very start, not even giving me the chance at an interview which i think is unfair. i have experience and a good work ethic, i am always on time and i do my tasks. sadly the pay is terrible in all entry level jobs. to be honest, i don’t even want high pay, it’s just so frustrating i can’t do anything at all, i’m rotting away in a time where i’m actually stable enough to work!!!! they keep whining on the news that youths don’t want to work, but refuse to even give us a chance!!!!! arghhhhhh i hate you capitalism !!!!!!!!!!
i’m sorry for being so down, but it’s quite saddening.
in other news, i would like to thank everyone who has subbed to this patreon and sent me donations through kofi. they truly mean so much!! thanks to them, i was able to get some necessities and some overall things i needed to better my cosplay so i could provide better content ^_^ i also,,,, got a little something i wanted for a long time, a randoseru that i found for fairly cheap,,,, i know it’s impulsive spending and that money could have been used for groceries or help with rent, but i still had some left to do that too (๑><๑)۶ so yes, i am beyond thankful for all your support and i hope to provide stuff that’s worth seeing. it’s always been my dream to be important and needed in the world, even a bit! i know i can’t make a huge change, save the world or something, but if even one person smiles because of me, i am happy.
(tw)
my head hurts, i barely got any sleep last night and i’m so hungry,,,,, i relapsed with my eating disorder about 2 or 3? weeks ago. i am desperate to lose weight under any means, i feel so unworthy at my current weight, i want my perfect body back. i do so much emotional eating and the mental hunger is insane. i wanna look like those perfect cosplayers, with pretty and thin legs, soft thin arms and flat tummies. i am not worthy of your praise and attention if i don’t work hard on my appearance. i am commited to look perfect by the next con, not only my body but my face and cosplays too!!!
(end of tw)
thank you for being here another day and i apologize if i worried you in any way (இ﹏இ`｡) i promise i have everything under control au auu
i will manage, i will work things out and i will make you proud to be following me!
today’s questions are: have you ever worked before? if yes, what was your first job?
i can’t wait to read all of your answers!!!
see you tomorrow!!
much love, soda.
Comments
woah!!!! i never could have guessed such an important person would be following me!! i must say your work is amazing and it’s more than great that you can help people directly!! to be honest, i was also considering nursing after high school, as it’s in high demand as you said as well. i think i would have made a good nurse but not in an actual hospital to be honest, maybe a small doctor’s office or hospice? but yes, thank you for your hard work in the world!! and thank you for cheering me on!! i can do it ^^
bunny tan
2024-06-18 14:59:17 +0000 UTCWhen I was in college, I worked as a cashier in a convenience store. It wasn't the best job, but I learned a lot from it. After graduating and getting my nursing license, it took me two years and moving to another city to find my first nursing job. I was so depressed because I spent all this time and money to get a degree for a job that was supposed to be in high demand, but no one was hiring! I put out job applications every day, went to hospitals when I could, volunteered and it didn't work for a long time. I was really depressed and frustrated at the time because I felt that I did everything right, but all I was met with was failure. Finally, after two years I got my first job as a floor RN, and funny enough, after I got that job, all of the other places I applied to and didn't hear from were all suddenly interested. Almost 10 years later, I'm still at the same place and was promoted to an administrative position. It felt like the best way to have a job was to already have one! I understand how you feel, and I know you're frustrated. I was there too. Keep it up and your hard work will be repaid! I'll be cheering for you!
KamiTK
2024-06-18 12:28:33 +0000 UTCyou are very kind :( ! i rlly hope i’ll get accepted somewhere soon, cus in a month i’ll have to enroll into college and i’ll only be able to work part time jobs once that starts… and thank you, i’m having a very hard time loving myself, i’m just hoping one day i’ll magically become beautiful enough for my own standard. also grocery store jobs are very difficult from what i heard TT you are a real trooper for making it through that! thank you again for your kind words and your comment!!
bunny tan
2024-06-18 10:48:55 +0000 UTCjob hunting is the worst! it made me so unhappy for so long i was barely hanging on until i got a job so i understand. i hope you find a job that gives you a chance because i know you'll do great! there is nothing in life that you are unworthy of and there never will be. perfection is a standard that chasing doesn't get you closer to. i also have eating disorder issues so i get it and i know simple words won't fix everything but you are as close to perfect as a person to get. you look great and you will continue to even if you eat. beauty isn't that fickle and it will not abandon you so quickly! anyways my first job was bagging at a grocery store and i hated it lololol
silver
2024-06-18 10:07:01 +0000 UTC
