Patreon, R&P Q&A #221

I know this is now an old thread, so I'll copy-paste when the new thread is up. Just need to type this down before I start forgetting things. #1 Been dating my girl for more than 3 years, and bad times are a rarity. This was probably my biggest mess so far as I made many mistakes. Last night I told her let's do some stuff a bit earlier in the night, which she said let's do that after her 1 weekly show ended. Sounded good, so I did my own stuff until after when I thought her show finished. I waited 20 min before messaging her a meme to get her attention as sometimes things have come up in the past that required attention dealing with work or family. 40 minutes later I finally get a message. Laughs at the meme and tells me she will finish fixing her pancakes. This is where I started to get irritated as I'd been waiting for an hour just to be told pancakes were holding her up. I've been fine in the past with her being slightly late because of something like pancakes, but this was the first time I had been ignored flatout. I start hanging out with her once she was done, and to say I was ticked off at her nonchalant behavior is an understatement. This is where many guys would say that they were "calm," but honestly I wasn't. I wanted to just have a good night, and I know when I'm angry a little time will help me cool down. We started talking, and I told her that I had been waiting for her for an hour. She was confused because her show had finished right before she started her pancakes. I said that the show ended at this time and not that time, which she realized that she had told me the wrong time. It was an honest mistake; I looked it up and the show did end when she messaged me about the pancakes. I can get over honest mistakes, especially since the consequence of the mistake was minimal. What I let get me mad again was right after when she apologized for me misunderstanding her. English isn't her first language, but that still isn't a real apology. Just writing this part makes me sound like a whiny bitch from other field reports wanting an apology instead of doing something to set a boundary. I told her to finish her story from earlier in the day, which has info useful for me beyond my relationship. I was still fuming underneath, letting myself simmer down. I have a RBF, and when I lose my cool it is more evident. I wasn't making eye contact most of the time during the convo, and I checked my phone for a minute during it as well. This is when I get asked, "What's wrong? Because something is wrong obviously." I remember something from a Mids Watch that was similar, so I use a line similar to what Rian said, "Ah, just mad at my girl." At this point, I knew I needed to smile more and laugh more, treating this issue as not-so-serious. She asks if it is about the miscommunication, and I told her it was but it's fine now and let's just have a good night. She starts going on about how it is clearly not fine and that she doesn't like being treated like that when she has done nothing wrong. I fog and try to make the convo lighter in mood, and she does not stop and goes on to tell me that sometimes I'm an asshole and tonight I am the most of an asshole I've ever been. I agreed and amplified it, which added fuel to the fire. I told her that me being quiet was me being nice, and that the alternative would have been me being an asshole. I said that I wouldn't apologize since I don't believe I did anything wrong. She said she had apologized earlier and that I continued to treat her badly after it. At this point I was 20 minutes into it, and I had to start thinking about whether or not she apologized. I asked her if she did because I was confused and didn't remember her saying an actual apology. She said she did, and I thought, "I guess she did and I don't remember." I said, "Alright, then I made a mistake by doing that after the apology. Let's watch a show and chill out the rest of the night." All I got in response was that she was uncomfortable, didn't know who she was dating with after the convo, and wanted to just go to bed. When I was alone again I ran the situation back in my head, and it became pretty clear I was all over the place.

Hello Rian I have been talking to this chick for almost a month now. We met through a dating app and I successfully got her number. I maintained enough interest to keep it going for the last few weeks or so. Finally, we hooked up on Tuesday. Now fast forward to today. She wants me to come over on Saturday night to go clubbing with her and her girlfriends. She's celebrating her birthday, but I don't want to go because of a few reasons: 1.It's an unfamiliar place. I've never been to the club she's talking about. I'm not usually opposed to trying new things, and in fact, I'd love to go either by myself or with some of my friends. 2.I'll be with unfamiliar people( specifically her friends) They will be evaluating me and every action I take, which could either make or break me depending on how they "feel." Moreover, she, being the only person I would know, could suddenly show a side I've never seen before and become hostile or who knows what. 3.The main reason: I didn't make this plan; she decided to add me into it. It's not something I genuinely want to do. Instead of explaining all of this to her, I simply said: "I can't make it, but I enjoyed our time together. When you have time for us to be together, you have my number. Let me know, and we can make something work." She responded with: "Okay papi sounds good. I told you i might just get a room and just spend it there and maybe u can come after whatever u are doing this Saturday" All I said was "for sure." More than likely she's gonna get her back bent by some "chad" Saturday but idc. I just want to know a couple of things,with all this information given: How am I supposed to look at this? What can you point out that I could improve on in future situations? I would like to see her again (she's cool), but did my handling of this situation kill my chances? I understand that the last question is a bit subjective and I hated wording it in that way but... idk "biTcHs aiNt sHiT" or whatever Patrice O'Neal said Thanks man

xXanthonyXx