Patreon, R&P Q&A #246
Added 2023-11-30 01:32:52 +0000 UTCvid will be up tomorrow
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First post but no origin story aside from: 40, lifter for 25 years, 2 years into MRP, divorced about 15 months ago. Read all of the sidebar multiple times and vol 1, working through vol 2 now. 6’, 205 Squat 315x12 Bench 225x10 I somehow almost ended up like the typical divorced dude who finds an LTR right away. Realized this was trouble and kept a decent distance from a 25 year old. Found myself not having as much sex as before once that plate went to school but kept her around anyway. Recently things got interesting and need to own my shit and see what kind of issues I still need to work through. Long story short, her friend found a dating profile that I set up long ago but kept active. I get the call and simply tell the truth about it and the call ends. Next day I get another call and it’s immediate tears about how she loved me, great she thought I was, etc but won’t be treated this way and calling it off. I told her this was the last thing I wanted for her, that I cared for her a lot, and how great she was but I wasn’t sure our goals were aligned and didn’t want to tell her until in between semesters because I didn’t want to hurt her/interrupt her focus at school. I would prefer she stays around without any sort of long term expectation that seems to be there. Truthfully, I was pretty emotional about it - I felt guilty. The thoughts of screwing up my ex wife, step-son from that marriage, and now her made me feel guilty as shit. Looking back on it, I probably didn’t do any of that… So the question is why the hell did I feel guilty? What is causing me to go back to a blue pilled mindset of taking responsibility for others’ emotions/lives when I need to be more concerned with what I’m getting? Those are the questions I need to own/figure out. Still not my own ultimate judge and reverting back to the comfortable nice guy I tried to evolve from beginning about 2 years ago.
Hillbillyheaven
2023-12-02 02:27:14 +0000 UTCWealth is really simple... Develop and master a unique skill that society needs + Leverage that skill + Save and invest your surplus + Time = Wealth This process applies to pretty much every type of skill (e.g. Doctor, plumber, electrician, landscaping, etc...). Naval's book is focussed more on the tech industry and using the internet and software to leverage your unique skills. But most people don't get wealthy doing tech stuff, they get wealthy doing every day stuff. That's where I differ from his book, but otherwise, it's the same strategy. Skip the get rich quick stuff like crypto, drop shipping, hustling or some other bullshit. Find something you like to do and get really good at it and then start a business that does it. Grow that business and save the surplus until you get wealthy.
Dave
2023-11-30 21:14:58 +0000 UTCThat video date is for online dating. If you're cold approaching then you don't need the video call. IMO real life interaction > video calls > phone calls > text messaging All of my close friends are from college and in different cities. Don't have any social network in this new city I moved to for work (except few people I tried connecting with). That's something I need to work on
Ban Mido
2023-11-30 19:20:45 +0000 UTCNot sure details: Get out of debt. (There is some good debt— don’t eat paint). She is saying: I don’t trust your captain skills. You need to distinguish between a real conversation about money and manipulation. If the conversation turns into manipulation then shit it down… fog, aa, stfu….
Cousin Eddie
2023-11-30 19:17:54 +0000 UTCReplying to Own My Shit's comment: I have been taking boxing classes at a MMA gym and will be sparring soon. Maybe we can meet up I can try out my 1-2. I've taken voice lessons and my vocal posture is improvded. I took Alexander technique lessons and my posture and body awareness is better. I'm more confident in public with women, and answering your question. My Christmas Wish list of having more sex, making new friends, and dressing better are worthy mentions for me. I've done some things towards them too. Edited down my closet but still working on consistently dressing 'cool' (Ive read Tanner Guzy's book). As for more sex and social circle - my girl likes that I look good after my boxing class, and I'm getting out of the damn house and meeting people there.
WG
2023-11-30 19:09:42 +0000 UTC"No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero’s Journey": that book sucks. "my partner" what. You mean your girl. Jesus maybe it's me but calling your girl your "partner" might say a lot about your dynamic. Bro, stop fucking writing this shit as a book. We don't give a fuck. Use simple language instead of trying to be entertaining with all that "transformative" bullshit. Also, using all that language is making you hide behind container words, in order to feel good without actually addressing your problems. This is not a journey. Stop making shit deeper than it has to be. You have issues and you're trying to solve them. That's it, there's no sigma alone hero journey behind it.
Owning My Shit
2023-11-30 18:57:04 +0000 UTCYou're gonna be butthurt when you get turned down. Own that shit and use it to get your ass in the gym. When she starts frameshifting you, you can say "Whatever", but then don't act on her manipulation if it's not alligned with your self-interest.
Owning My Shit
2023-11-30 18:54:33 +0000 UTCSo, you read a book. What have you actually done to correct your "Areas of weakness"?
Owning My Shit
2023-11-30 18:52:44 +0000 UTCBut d: just do 5k a day. And retest. Don’t do the mega dose. Dr are retarded with chronic issues. Video date: (all new to me so take this with a grain of salt). Go out and do the face time from a venue. Basically: show, don’t tell her you are a busy guy. End call: “I get to get back to my friends”. Venue in the background… music. I may be off: do you do anything except work and date women off the app? I would be depressed if that were my life. Make friends… join a bowling league….
Cousin Eddie
2023-11-30 18:52:11 +0000 UTCSounds like your sexual market value is doing just fine. Not sure why your wife does not have dread. The tow line is not taught yet. It seems. ? Am I reading your fn correct. I don’t have any productive comments about it. Just reflecting the core problem. The chore play.. when I am tired(I have health issue so I can relate to not being up to cocky funny…). I just say: sorry, no chore talk (or name calling…). Before 10am. Or after 8pm. It’s in the marriage manual. Let’s put a pin in this. Memorize that for those moments. It’s a fog. I hear you….
Cousin Eddie
2023-11-30 18:44:27 +0000 UTC30 something male. Married. Wife pregnant with first kid, planned. Started on this patreon a while ago. Posted some then stopped. I just finished reading When I Say No I Feel Guilty. My communication has improved, significantly. How did I not know about this sooner. I also had started reading Rules of the Game a few months back. As part of his 'body awareness' for the Rules of the Game, he recommended the 'Alexander Technique'. I hired a Alexander technique coach, my posture has improved. Rules of Game also recommended Voice coaching and I listened to a book on that and my vocal posture is a bit better. I started boxing classes at a weightlifting / MMA gym, for some more 'Alpha Activity'to balance out my Batman-Nice-Guy-Beta-Expertise. I haven't started sparring yet, but maybe in the next month or two. I feel a bit more confident. Areas of weakness: - could increase #days of sex per week / month - social circle still fairly constricted. - personal style / fashion, struggling with that Overall though, with WISNIFG 'under my belt' I feel fucking readier than ever to stop being a manipulative wimp and to manage possible manipulation or passive resistance from others, well. Worth it's weight in gold, for people who haven't gotten to it.
WG
2023-11-30 18:38:33 +0000 UTCBurn and churn. Don’t look back. You have done the kid thing, done the marriage …. Time to be your point of origin. As you seem to know and be working on.
Cousin Eddie
2023-11-30 18:31:27 +0000 UTCThis is basically a deer Abby question. Realize that. This is your first post? Take action and we will critique it. Ex: I read nmmng. Realized I deer to everyone and here is a situation where I did not deer last week: describe. “Do you even lift bro”. Comes to mind. This means: are you doing any of the work? Let’s start: why do you have anxiety? Keep in mind all the tricks you are using are tricks. You need to get to the core issue. Nmmng and Wisnifg, will reduce anxiety. As you become in control of your life. The point of origin for yourself. Anxiety will be reduced. See my post last week. I talk about self guilt and why I have it. Working out, having real guy friends, having social circles, abundance (including controls of your money and how it is spent). Working on your sex market value, Doing all this stuff on your terms. Will reduce anxiety. I also come from a health point of view (not necessarily red pill- rule zero). We all have way to high of poison (copper and aluminum are the anxiety makers). Make sure you are eating well, exercising and your detox pathways are working (healthy liver for example.)
Cousin Eddie
2023-11-30 18:24:50 +0000 UTCI have read WISNIFG and NMMG. These books helped hugely. But i most say of one thing that helped me even more this year was Jordan Peterson's 'Dragons, Monsters, and Men' . Study it, take notes and apply advice similar to WISNIFG and NMMG https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGT5mauvaUg&t=4s&ab_channel=DailyWire%2B
Cocky_funny
2023-11-30 18:24:07 +0000 UTCTrying not to give that much information all at once. Agreed, I let her control the relationship and not myself. I was behind the 8-ball once I figured that one out. The few I dated while I was with her I made clear this is not exclusive, again day late and dollar short on that one.
Snakehead
2023-11-30 18:20:22 +0000 UTCHello Boys / Coach, I last updated you during my vacation in Egypt, about a month and a half ago. Today, I celebrate two years since becoming aware of MRP – this is Field Report 16. - Gym: Back on track. - MMA: Keeping to the schedule. - Work: Going smoothly. - Sex: Frequent (I usually initiate, and it tends to happen). - Reading: I've just started "The Mindful Attraction Plan." Coach, you suggested I read "Sex Primer" since I'm now engaged. - Up Next: "No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero’s Journey" and "Married Man Sex Primer". - LTR: 6 years (We are both 30). --- Update: The proposal was a success. It's been a few weeks since then. My behavior hasn't changed intentionally. Yet, my partner shows more affection, with increased hugs and kisses, seeming much more content since the engagement. Our friends and family share in our joy. Post-proposal, my partner inquired if I was certain about my decision to propose and my reasons. I affirmed, "I love you and I want to grow old with you." She expressed feeling incredibly fortunate and elated to be chosen as my future wife. --- Today, on my way to work, I realized it's been exactly two years since I started writing field reports. Reflecting on my journey, I've made significant progress. My past actions make me cringe, yet as Rian from MRP states, I should be able to laugh at my first field report. Instead, I feel like hiding in a hole. But, it's all part of the growth process. --- I aim to improve in these areas: - Speaking My Mind: I've made strides in addressing significant issues, but I tend to let minor annoyances slide, like small debts or dishes not washed to my standard. I tell myself not to sweat the small stuff, but I've realized that ignoring these can lead to outbursts. - Resentment: The minor grievances I've mentioned tend to build resentment, which leads to arguments. One strategy I'm considering is to communicate more directly rather than hinting. I still find myself keeping mental tabs, like noting small loans or unmet expectations around household chores, which contributes to my frustration. Addressing these directly might help eliminate my mental scoreboard. Although it's only been two years and I'm not married yet, I feel grateful for discovering MRP beforehand. It has led to greater happiness, confidence, self-awareness, and a drive to succeed. The MRP reading list has been transformative, improving my life immensely, and I'm thankful for this community's support. The camaraderie within this anonymous brotherhood is something I value. I've inquired before, but I'm seeking the financial equivalent to books like "NMMNG." Are there similar communities to the MRP for finance and building substantial wealth?
Cocky_funny
2023-11-30 18:19:45 +0000 UTCyour opening statement is validation seeking. “ It's been a busy few weeks with quite a bit going on.” It feels like a: “father I have sinned…” you are saying: I am working on things like a good student. Chat, Please validate that. It is a deer. Agree with op sec. noting the knee incident: cocky funny is the way; “will thrusting my dick in you count as an apology?”
Cousin Eddie
2023-11-30 18:13:47 +0000 UTCGoals: loose weight, try to get to 200 depending on BMI (want to see abs), take back over treasury, get more sex. I've done more fasting, basically only eating at dinner and pounds are coming off I was 244 back in June, this morning weighed 225. Had earlier success with just lunch and dinner then stopped working. I've moved over all auto pay things except 2 small ones, one is an error. but most all is moved over. Wife wants to "go over the budget" again tonight and I know my weak points in the moment are reacting to her emotions, so I'm rereading your article about forms of manipulation. I think the one where she just goes on and on about almost relevant points and I get hypnotized and just end up saying "Whatever". Also what I call "lobbying" learned from the "Thank you for smoking" movie where he says "the trick is I don't have to prove my point right just that your point could be wrong". Last night she said if I didn't do the budget the obnoxious way she's been wanting to than we will never get out of debt. And after the fact I realized I should have fogged. I have stopped replying to her texts that read like books, and only replied yes when she asked if I got her messages. Could you elaborate on balancing not being but hurt when turned down for sex, and how if we haven't for a while it should be expected that I would be in a crappier mood. This might be hard to read had to type it up fast, I'm not saying "sorry". Just started your new book, Thank you.
Eric Blair
2023-11-30 18:10:13 +0000 UTC37 Merging social circles and social proof A focus has been building social circles. Local guy friends, shared interests, and plenty of reasons to call/meet is a priority. Batman for new patreon: I/we moved due to covid, got a chronic illness, lockdowns and child responsibilities isolated me. I have had to start from scratch while dealing with chronic migraines, fatigue, and vertigo. Two major groups I have fostered are my fencing group (is a historical group) and short film production group. Last week I took on the social media outreach for our local historical group (fencing+.) I am combining this with the film project. I wrote a short film recreating a 1600’s duel. Will post clips, behind the scenes footage, photos… on social media. My fencing buddies are excited. Point: I am merging my fencing circle with my film circle. Also, by being the outreach media person, I am the initial point of contact for new people that have similar interest. Like being the door guy at the bar. Film Goal: 1, do ten short films (I have done 2,) 2. enter them in festivals (travel with cast to see them.) 3. do a short film with 30 person crew. 4. rent a theater and show the films with the crew and friends as an audience. The latest film contest has a red-carpet premier this weekend. This gave me a chance to reach out to the crew. I also reached out via social media to other production teams with technical questions. Asking for help seems to be a great way to meet other people. They love to help and solve problems. Social proof, excuses to reach out and gossip are social dynamite: 1. gossip =shared stories. After doing 2 films with a total of 10 people I am already getting word back from people I barely speak to: “Hear you are working on a new film? What’s it like working with…when… where?” Our shoots are turning into happenings. Friends, neighbors, family, kids coming over to watch. 2. Private movie screening goal: being at the center of making these films and then throwing a red-carpet movie screening for the crew and friends is a social proof project. 3. finding ways to call and meet people (not text, or dm) has been powerful. As I suspected. People are busy, usually have been uprooted, ruff marriages… I am one of the few people reaching out to them to talk about fun things and laugh. People have few real, non-digital friends. (I do follow up on social media as another point of contact) These things do not directly deal with sexual strategies like plate theory and day game, lifting. But they are all very attractive. They are the core of what people are attracted to. Note: I want to do these things, regardless. Outcome independent. Understanding social dynamics is helping me do them in a less sloppy, half hazard way. I don’t feel like the patsy at the poker game. I also am starting to understand my value and the role I am fulfilling in social arenas. Note: I am seeing the spotting, labeling and reacting (ooda) to the intermural difference. Men do need a hierarchy felling. Women need a democratic emotion. When making the movie I ask more questions with the women. Pam, how do you want to do the lighting. Then I direct her. The men I direct more: Joe, we are ready for lighting. Then I direct him. If I switch this it causes friction.
Cousin Eddie
2023-11-30 18:02:55 +0000 UTCYou buried the lead: divorced ‘with kids’. The kids changes a lot. You are dating the wrong way. You should be spinning plates and being very honest about it. You determine when things are exclusive not women. You must of miss advertised yourself to her. You allowed her to fell comfortable, presented yourself as her long term ‘husband’. So she was upset when she ‘caught you cheating.’ Red pill: spin plates, be honest, any reason to dump a girl is acceptable. These facts (Frame) is not hidden. Do not respond to her. Block her. No, you are not responsible. Therapy bills… lol. You could go after her for bad blow jobs. 😂. Goals: less breadth of books. Just use day bang for example. And focus. I focus more on building social circles, building male friends with 3 points of engagement, social animal (talk to everyone). But learning to escalate and pua strategies is a solid skill. I like you Jiu Jitsu goal because you framed it as building a social circle. Do you have close guy friends you go out with? Less can be more with reading. Less dating gurus…. Especially in the beginning.
Cousin Eddie
2023-11-30 17:45:06 +0000 UTCFR: * Want to clarify about the video call tip from last week's call. I agree with the general principle of keeping texting/phone conversations for logistics only. But videocalls can be useful in certain situations. I use video calls usually when I ask the girl out and she has concerns meeting a stranger. At that point I recommend a quick video call where I run some game (cocky-funny, flirting, exhanging info, DHV, etc). The important thing is to cut the call after 15-20 mins with some excuse of being busy. At this point, she's got a sampling of the kind of fun she can expect on a date with you and more eager to go out with you. It's also a great way to filter out ugly chicks that you're not interested in wasting time with * If she gives excuses why she can't do a quick video call, like she's busy and suggests some random time in the future instead of a concrete time in the night, then move on. She's wasting your time. * Also my "standard" text game: 1. opener -> 1-2 fun/flirty messages -> "we should grab drinks/" -> if yes -> finalize logistics -> exchange numbers (optional) -> close 2. "we should grab drinks/" -> If no -> some more banter for a few days/optional video call -> suggest date again -> yes? -> finalize logistics -> close 3. suggest date again -> Still no? -> Tell her to let you know when she's free -> move on * So the 33y/HB6 from last FR texted a few days later she thought I was a "nice" guy and "incredibly attractive" but not as sexually compatible as she hoped. Back to the drawing board I guess. Clearly making some mistake in the post-first date aftercare/game/interaction. Are there any RP video examples/YouTube/old movies for handling post-sex part? Also could be haven't purged the nice guy tendencies yet * Also, figured out why I was feeling unmotivated and basically depressed the last few weeks. I'm going through seasonal depression. I workout in the mornings before work but now it's dark until 8AM and sun sets at 4PM. So I was only motivated at work and unmotivated for anything else. Started using this winter Sun lamp (eg: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08BCLLYN5/) for light therapy in the mornings and feeling more energetic. Also upped my dose of vitamin D. A friend's doctor recommended 50000IUs pre-load once a week and 5-10K IUs every few days after that if you're deficient. I grew up in the tropics and this is the first time in my life I'm up this north.
Ban Mido
2023-11-30 16:37:02 +0000 UTCWelcome! For the ex, I'd suggest just cutting her off completely and going full no-contact. The slow drip attention from her will be a poison that will keep dragging you back. You think you don't care about her now but wait until a few weeks go by and you don't find better girls and you'll start missing her. Stay strong and cut her off. The goals thing is a mistake I made initially when I joined this group. It makes sense to me now. You can tell us you'll do/achieve 'X' but we don't care. We're not paid to be your therapists. A lot of people have wishlists but it's the basic nuts-&-bolts you do every week that matters. Do something towards your goals and tell us what you did and what outcome you got. Experience is your best teacher
Ban Mido
2023-11-30 15:58:13 +0000 UTCIts literature the more the merrier. After Rian reviews and after a few other comments I can put into a list of what to read first to last but the more information the better on my end.
Snakehead
2023-11-30 14:50:38 +0000 UTCWas sharing what I personally liked. Day bang and mystery method are the most commonly recommended ones.
Op Sec
2023-11-30 14:45:36 +0000 UTCunderstood, I thought it might not be to descriptive enough will revise.
Snakehead
2023-11-30 14:33:28 +0000 UTCHave you read WISNIFG? read it, or read it again. In general the recommended way to handle anxiety is to hit the gym so hard that you can't feel the anxiety any more. Talking might calm you down but it really is counter productive. "I act feminine and I get good feels". You end up reinforcing your own behavior that doesn't benefit you. Realize that anxiety is generally good, unless you relieve it in some counter productive way. It means your mind and brain are learning. > Is there any way of telling her to “shut up, im not in the mood to talk right now” and not end up with her pestering me with “why don’t you tell me what’s wrong honey?” yes, you say "shut up, I'm not in the mood to talk right now", if she pesters you, you say it again. Likely you will feel anxiety, which is normal, I've felt it myself at first. You have to train yourself. A good time to say this is after you killed it at the gym, but she won't test you as much then. Walking away is also great. You can walk away again if she starts ranting when you get back. At work AA and cocky funny do tend to be options, but you aren't yet calibrated and that's ok. Your gf isn't going to stop pestering you until you stop caring if she pesters you.
Op Sec
2023-11-30 12:41:55 +0000 UTCDude, take a look at the number of she statements. It's like you wrote a story with your wife as the main character. She got worked up and you reinforced that. Why? What are you trying to accomplish? I'm not saying it's bad or good, I can't tell. This is all very reactive. "This happened and I responded like this." What are you making happen. When "she" was in a difficult mood, were you getting shot down, or were you waiting for her to get in a better mood so you could fuck her? Think about whose frame it was all in. "I accidentally pinched her leg fat with my knee, and she asked for an apology." So she acted against you and higher status, and you responded by "token kisses", supplicating. You're supposed to agree and amplify, cocky funny, etc and if that doesn't work then disengage.
Op Sec
2023-11-30 12:33:39 +0000 UTCLoss aversion from the woman. Getting over her will be good for you in general. The fact that you are calling it cheating means there's some validation seeking. You got your needs met. The I'm going to send you bills for std tests and therapy sessions. You dodged a bullet there. It's hilarious that she tried to send you a bill. Block her number and email, you don't need to read that shit. Stuff for game I like. Day Bang, Roosh. The blueprint(not a book). Juggler method. Pook is great and will help, but not really a game book. Those goals sound more like a wishlist. Tell us what you are doing for those goals, otherwise it's just new years resolutions and they are ineffective.
Op Sec
2023-11-30 12:26:29 +0000 UTCThere was a week where we were barely talking and it felt like we were headed for divorce. We were still having sex, it was meh. She had been cold and distant, but that doesn’t mean I have to be if I don’t want to. I decided I start the day pleasantly, and I would touch her regularly. I showed everyone what a good relationship might look like. In hindsight, I demonstrated vision. Next time we had sex I got blown. I found myself thinking. Well today I stay. Tomorrow, IDK. It seemed like the message I was sending was that we’re going to have sex now, we can do it right, or go back to the path we were on. Sex after that was good too. Another time, it started bad. I zipped up, and got on with my life(This was sort of a gym bag routine as I was already going to leave soon anyway). I surprised myself I wasn’t mad, it was a, well we tried. A few hours later, she initiated and sex was good again. At the same time, I didn’t do anything that didn’t benefit me. some examples. 1. Her sister was over, she’s decent company. Eventually I got tired, and let them know I’m getting ready for bed, and did. 2. She wanted to drive for four hours to buy a cup, good luck with that. We have fun on road trips, I was somewhat agreeable once I got blown. Never did go. One night. her: “why do you always do the dishes like that?”. I had always had a hard time with the “why are you a fuck?” type questions. First of all, when I worded it like this for this report, it becomes easy to deal with(laugh, poke fun, tell her to shut up, disengage, stfu, your mom), so I’ll think this way next time. I was tired that evening. I didn’t know/forgot/couldn’t think what to say in this situation. I decided that this didn’t need a response. Eventually, to break the tension she said “I mean, it would be really nice if you did this . . . because . . .” me: “I hear you”. I was cutting something for her in kitchen and sliced myself. I bled a bunch. Funny enough, in the end, she was freaking out, and I was comforting her. “omg that scared me so much, tell me you’re ok and not mad at me”. Catch and release for me is highly venue dependent. I’ll have an easy time at a coffee shop, the gym I go to, I do ok(surprisingly the dudes there are serious). A grocery store, maybe if we’re waiting in line. Chicks are always buying wine and snacks. “Looks like a party”, “yeah, having a barbecue, throwing some steaks on girl”, “I love steak, where’s my invite”, “you can come!”. I was at a store and some woman was giving me the side eye. I figured I better say something(Heartiste say something game). “hi”, it came out at about one quarter volume and I’m pretty sure my voice cracked. She looked scared or disgusted, or something. I was satisfied that I said something. Next time, at a store, cutest girl, I’ve seen all month. “Nice boots”, it came out loud, crisp and clear, she giggled and said thanks. Doing better. Next time hold eye contact and run my mouth. It’s a process. I had learned all this before. I am Remembering/internalizing that you can just go up to chicks and talk to them. All the barriers are imaginary and in your own head. Went to the gym, started talking to some chick, she pulled out her earphones and smiled, we had a chat. I stopped worrying about chicks wearing headphones. Later another chick showed up and gave me a hug. So now getting some preselection. Sometimes I’ll not really be trying. I went to the dentist and the female dentist came, she asked me if I like Texas. Well, I’m disappointed, nobody is saying yeehaw, wearing cowboy hats or walking around with a holster. I was supposed to get my revolver at the DMV and somebody must have dropped the ball. Then at work, a new chick is the qa person. I told her a good QA person is supposed to annoy the shit out of me. One of the dudes at the meeting had a look of recognition and love it. I wasn’t doing any of that on purpose, just sort of happened. She ended up offering work favors to me afterwards. As far as getting addicted to the female attention, using the stuff on my wife, and being challenged. I do find the female attention addicting. It’s fun, and to avoid the trap I have to be in the practice mindset, rather than validation seeking. I try to approach thinking, I hope this goes poorly so my ego gets deflated, which works for me. I’m definitely using the stuff on my wife. It’s great, sometimes, you can try stuff out on wife first, or try stuff out on someone else first. The wife is always there to try stuff out on(even/especially if she is grumpy). e.g. I’ll try out a new way of starting a conversation. Talking to strange chicks gets me out of my comfort zone, and then confidence when I get home. I do like being challenged, and have to make sure I don’t stay just for the challenge of it.
Op Sec
2023-11-30 12:21:37 +0000 UTCHow do you handle general anxiety? There are periods where I become anxious and unable to focus on anything. Talking calms me down but I end up sharing too much. When talking with my gf, when she feels something’s off about me she keeps on asking “what’s wrong?” My responses are some form of cocky funny and AA, entirely through muscle memory now. It worked for a while but recently she’s started replying with “don’t make a joke out it. Im seriously asking is anything wrong?” I have tried replying with “dont worry its not about you” but it hasn’t worked. Is there any way of telling her to “shut up, im not in the mood to talk right now” and not end up with her pestering me with “why don’t you tell me what’s wrong honey?” One option I haven’t tried is to walk away in the middle of conversation(afraid of listening to a rant on getting back) Also in conversations at work(where AA cocky funny isn’t an option), i end up giving them information which maybe used by them, not in my favour. The only solution I have found is to keep myself away from other people when im feeling anxious. This keeps me from sharing too much but it makes my anxiety worse. Here’s what im thinking of doing going forward With gf : keep on AA and cocky funny and hope she gives up pestering me With others: try to minimise talking when im feeling anxious and sit through the emotions. Anyone got any experience with similar situations?
Goten
2023-11-30 09:48:55 +0000 UTCQnA 246 It's been a busy few weeks with quite a bit going on. Watching my wife get worked up over what I perceived as some petty extracurricular school committee work was interesting as it turned into some massive event over many weeks. Showing how women can just act like the oldest teenagers over some miscommunication… In any case her actions were notices by some other parents who prayed her efforts and I also provided some reassurance and praise afterwards. Our sex life has been a bit up and down. There were a few nights where she pulled away. Last week, she was in a difficult mood for a few days, and one morning at 4 am, she grabbed me, and we go to pound town. Another night this week, she was being demanding and in a bit of a choreplay mode. After some initial engagement, I accidentally pinched her leg fat with my knee, and she asked for an apology. I gave some token kisses, but I couldn't get past it. I decided not to play those games, rolled over, and went to sleep. We bantered about it the next day, joking about “lucky you went to bed early” as the kids waking up early. Then The following night, things were back on track, and we had an intimate moment. Today Son got diagnosed with autism so it’s been bitter sweet as we figured he was “different”. At least we can get some support for him now. Also Pre purchased some courses in anticipation of the official diagnosis so will be consuming that soon
Fez
2023-11-30 06:37:48 +0000 UTCFR-01 Mental model, 1st stab at a FR (hopefully no batman origin story), Game: Been listening to you for over a year now. Got introduced to RP through F&F and when I didn’t think that made since found my way to Rollo, Rich Cooper and then to you. I can appreciate the lessons you teach and how you teach them while not screaming at a bunch of drunk Miami Wahmen. Age: 37 HT: 6’1” Current weight: 218lbs Lift 4-5 times a week Dumbbell press 55lbsX10 3-4 sets Seated row 100lbsX10 3-4 sets Seated press 85lbsX8 3-4 sets Just got done training for a 10K, don’t think I will run again. Used to do all bar work but had some neck and back surgeries so machines it is. Left my wife around a year and a half ago. Shortly afterwards got on dating apps and met a woman 37y/HB5. Got close and I made it exclusive very shortly afterwards. It was around this time I got introduced to RP. Got WISNIFG, NMMNG, and both your books. Started realizing what made me happy and what didn’t and looking at my life differently. Started hitting the gym and making goals for myself. Sex with her was frequent, almost every time we saw each other, we would smash at least once that day. My ex still lives in the house I am paying for waiting for the courts to determine how to split our assets. I am living at my parents house. I would go to the GF’s house to get away and have a life. Started noticing she would give less blowjobs so started to do things my way. I thought what would be best is to try different mental models on the relationship and see how it worked. In the meantime I would get back on dating apps and look for other women and try out dating. Dated a few women and slept with a few. This eventually got found out about and we just broke up, relationship lasted about year and a half. My question is this, I could care less about this woman, before we broke up, I had all kinds of things I didn’t like about her personality but now that she is pissed at me, I can’t stop thinking about her. Why does our brains do that? Is it a oneitis mental model or a validation mental model i.e. because she found out about me cheating I care about her thoughts and therefore want her approval? Interesting side note, originally wrote this the morning of the 29th. Since I wrote this the GF I cheated on finally texted me and stated she was going to send me the bills for the (2) tests for STD’s and all therapy sessions. I highly doubt this holds up and I am responsible but any chance you may know? Again we were never married and did not live together. I did not respond to the email just ignored it. I got tested back in September for my regular check up and was all clear so I am sure she is fine but more concerned if I am actually responsible for this. Live in the USA in the deep south. Got back on apps and already have a few women I am talking to. I need to work on communication skills, and I read a lot in the community learning game not only helps with the communication with women but also just in day to day. What is the best book or books for this? Goals: Get down to 200lbs • Increase volume at gym o Heavier Weights o More sets/more reps o Increase steps to 10,000/day • Diet o Keep Calories down to 2,100/day Join a Jiu-Jitsu school-goal is to create a hobby and meet likeminded men • Called and will join after my kids schedule goes back to normal which is in two weeks (week of 12/11-12/17) • Go 2-3 times a week once started Go on 2 dates a week • Pretty easy on apps but increase cold approach in person. Not sure what number is good to hit here without reading anything on this. Don’t want to aim for the moon but aim for something logical Read whatever book is recommended for game (Book of Pook?) • Day bang • The blueprint • Juggler method • Mystery Method
Snakehead
2023-11-30 01:43:34 +0000 UTC
