R&P Q&A #278
Added 2024-07-31 18:05:29 +0000 UTC
Comments
I find it hard to like women beyond sucking my dick hahaha. Got Mommy issues hahaha, check. Roger that, you are totally right.
Validation Junkie
2024-08-01 20:16:04 +0000 UTCLooking for some more insight and examples of separating sex from int. , I get the ass grab etc. But the 10 sec kiss is just not my thing really. Strip, what is your podcast?
Volare Alto
2024-08-01 17:31:58 +0000 UTCField Report #10 Added more protein to my diet. Was definitely feeling pretty shitty, and now my mood is a little better. Decreased rest to 1min between sets. Waist is down 1” and clothes are fitting better. Wife noticed when she hugged me and made mention of it. Working on a covert contract. I knew this one was going to be another big thing to tackle. I get a lot of validation from text messages and intimate acts from my wife. I use them to re-assure me that “I’m the man” or “see I am really loved”. Last week I started to pay attention to the 2/3rds. My need for validation really came to light. I know that some of the neuroticism comes from being hyper focused, yet a lot of this has been happening the whole time. A couple of weeks ago before shark week the affection and sex was ramped up to ten. Now that shark week hit it’s been pretty lame. Which now I see how I let that affect my frame. I start to become doppy. I get tempted to say intimate or affirmations just to hear them back. I haven’t made great strides in dealing with this necessarily except I have been STFU-ing, and not sharing anything that I am feeling internally. I am sure that my non verbal communication has given me away from time to time. Basically I now see that I allow my frame to bend during shark week and that I haven’t fully dealt with my covert contract validating self. Major fuck ups are. Frame issues Using external validation to make myself feel good. Covert contract. Part of the reason I do this behavior is because my mom would do it to me as a kid and I didn’t get a lot of physical affection when I was young child. So when I get it it’s like a drug to me.
Validation Junkie
2024-08-01 17:28:33 +0000 UTC“How long will you be together until I offer her to move in?” I guess never coz I don’t see what i gain from us living together. And i also don’t see what gain from telling all this to her. I completely missed how my lack of work is her source of entitlement. Thanks for pointing this out. Guess i’ll start removing my dependency of chores from her.
Goten
2024-08-01 15:23:52 +0000 UTCNice work man.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-08-01 15:21:20 +0000 UTCDude, you're overthinking it. The girl is on your journey. You can't control her response. Any hiccups - don't deer turn it into a game or adventure for yourself. She get's on board or she doesn't. Let go, bro. You've got this.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-08-01 15:17:23 +0000 UTCRich talks about using holiday / travel as a good test for woman’s and seeing how they handle shitty situations , eg delays, lost baggage, sleep deprivation, and /or letting their guard down and getting comfortable , binging on food buffet or getting excessively drunk etc How they handle the shit is how they will be most likely be (at default) …of course anything can be trained out but it will take time It’s a good way to vett for LTR As for how you handle it Be stoic (tm) lost baggage, no sweet Flight delay or cancelled - sort out alternative arrangement In essence, be the leader and keep on your path
Fez
2024-08-01 13:36:43 +0000 UTCFantastic insight Stripper: "At first, the beauty of a woman is a reflection of your worth. You can see it in your writing still, but you can also see that you are moving away from that. You like Cool Chick. It's obvious. That isn't an issue, I know you know not too get too hung up on a girl. However, I can tell you are starting to appreciate women for who they are as opposed to a reflection of your ego." This is exactly it. Beautiful girls have been a validation centre my whole life and the Blondie/CoolChick/X contrast makes that so clear. Brilliant insight man, super helpful. Thanks Bro.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-08-01 09:56:03 +0000 UTCHey Couch, hope you're doing well. Follow up from two weeks ago when I last wrote: Yes, your surprise at a latin american caring about punctuality is well deserved. I'm the only latin american that cares about punctuality it seems to me lol. Anyway, this one is a short one, and I'll just speak honestly: Me (31, originally from Latin America) and my girlfriend (22, originally from E. Europe) of 11 months are going to Greece for two weeks. I got us an apartment rented in a nice resort town and everything. I've traveled a lot, she hasn't. All she's done is get on the plane to come to the US from her home country. And im nervous about it. She is treating me generally how I want to be treated, fucking me to my cadence for the most part, and even though she isn't the most skilled in bed, I fucking love the effort she puts. I'm just a neurotic guy by nature. In most situations I've learned to act despite it, but it still comes out sometimes with the girl. Here's my concern: You know how vacations can be chaotic and stressful? Well, I had an experience 5 years ago with a girl that I dated for, at the time, 6 months, where we went to Puerto Rico, and the trip was littered with hiccups and shitty situations. I didn't handle it well at all, and was being very beta and passive. Any attraction that I had built up during the previous 6 months had got burned away, cause she dumped me as soon as we returned to america. Since then, I feel like I have gained enough life experience and practice with women to deal with a situation like this. But still, is there any advice for "taking a vacation with your girl from a Red Pill point of view"? I don't mean any "tips or tricks" (I hate that angle too), but I'm wondering what have other guys done when going on a two week vacation with their woman? What have you done to ensure it goes smoothly in your relationship? I remember on the last Patreon video you did, you sent one of the guys here an article about becoming red pilled while married or something along those lines. Basically how to deal with pregnancy from a red pilled perspective. Anything similar for going on a vacation with your girl?
Diego Verga
2024-08-01 04:56:22 +0000 UTCYour life sounds like one massive covert contract and I see lots of Internalised Toxic Shame. NMMNG will help you with this. In it, intimacy is explained as knowing the self, being known by another, knowing another. Knowing the self; means asking deeper questions of why you made the life choices you did? Why neglect your sexual needs till now? What thoughts and perceptions of yourself lead you to that conclusion? Why was it necessary for you to see yourself that way? You know your digging in the right direction when there is an emotion (fear, anxiety, anger, sadness) When you start facing this. Read chapter 5 NMMNG Reclaiming Personal Power. Specifically, the section about Developing Integrity, Facing Fear, Surrendering. It will help you make choices specifically aligned with your desires. Also gets you to notice when your being manipulated out of what you believe is best for you. “I would have great conversation with 90% of the girls and even get cute flirty banter” From what I see in your report I call BS on this! People with great conversation skills don’t end up with 2 notches @33. Communication skills bleed out into a lot of other areas. Ill bet your perception is off.
will zill
2024-08-01 00:56:11 +0000 UTCI’m only getting out the house for work as of late, and spending time with my family isn’t exactly “me” time either. I work out at home too. As for why I’m frustrated, I wonder if this controlling/neurotic behavior of hers can be subdued by me having stronger frame over time, or if this marriage isn’t worth it in the long run. I often worry about which outcome will occur.
Enock
2024-08-01 00:33:25 +0000 UTC3-4x a week doing PPL on machines. I do 4 sets of 15 reps on each machine and 30 min of light cardio. I'm new to this stuff and not super knowledgeable about lifting. Once I get stronger, I'd like to transition to free weights.
lemon
2024-08-01 00:02:40 +0000 UTCSeen. Do you know why you can't keep them interested longer the 18 months? what common threads/behavior do all your ex-partners display?
will zill
2024-07-31 23:58:47 +0000 UTCDude, this sounds like average frustrated chump stuff. You raise your kids how you want. If you wife doesn't like it and opposes you. The writing is on the wall. If you don't raise them to be the people you would want to be around as adults you are literally sentencing yourself to a shit life. You don't have to provide hyper comfort to you wife because she pregnant. You just do not cause her dread. You still pursue you vision. Your responses to your wife don't sound like Amused Mastery or cocky funny. They sound bitchy. You sound frustrated, are you getting out of house enough? Are you lifting?
So Woke da Wookie
2024-07-31 23:34:10 +0000 UTCNo stepping back. Keep dating and stick to your budget. You don't have to buy them stuff for them to fuck you. they'll buy you stuff if your the prize. Are you lifting or just trimming up?
So Woke da Wookie
2024-07-31 23:27:36 +0000 UTChow many plates have you? This your only girl? You want to move on with her? I think at 2 years you might be heading toward the natural conclusion of this one.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-07-31 23:24:58 +0000 UTCA few weeks ago, at a concert, I bumped into a chick I worked with over a decade ago. We always got on well. She cute, vivacious open and cool. We sent a few texts and then she invited me to her party a few weeks later. My goal of going to the party was to kickstart a new Social Cirlce game. I arrive at the party, it turns out, everyone tells me, that I am the “surprise guest of honour” and this had been texted out to all. I reconnect with cool people from the past and some new folks. I really enjoyed myself. Party is great, I only have a few drinks and took a moderate amount of MDMA. Enough to happily dance the night away without getting E-Dick. Anyway, it’s becomes a weekend of sex between me and the hostess. This was on the Friday night through to Sunday. I'll call her CoolChick from now on. The night before the party was the Thursday night, while your Patreon was on, and I was boasting I would be on Blondie at the same time. You’ll also remember I didn’t care if she came over at all. We bang. Blondie is desperately trying to get me into boyfriend category. She swallows and I do have a soft spot for that. She is objectively attractive - she's striking but she doesn't drive me wild. **Pre Selection: the Local Edition** There was a secondary purpose to have Blondie to mine and that was to build my up a reputation as a cad among the ladies in my town. It’s a small town, an hour outside our major city. I took Blondie to the local bars and got the message out there..There was a lot of heads turned because of the tall fashionable blonde. Apparently everyone finds her more attractive than me. I think she's grand. During the following week in my little town, the IOIs from women surged. News travels fast out here. This is the 3rd woman the town would know about in the last few months. All women were standouts in their own way. I say absolutely nothing about them. Just provide grist for the rumour mil.l Now, that I see the preselection at work, it was pretty dramatic, like uncomfortably so. I am wondering if banging local broads is a good idea at all? Shitting on your own doorstep and what have you? **Size Matters** Anyway, back to party and Cool Chick. The great thing about her is that she is really petite. I usually go for tall, cool chick/athletic types with curves. It was so nice to have this little fairy lying on me in king pose, light as a feather. Also the small body allowed me to do things that would be harder to do otherwise like: When I was stimulating her button with my tongue I was able to keep the back/middle of my tongue pulsing on her button and then snake the top and tip of my tongue down and push the tip in. Suffice to say, she couldn't talk right after that and was like “what was that”. Also, her lightweight and lifting her and moving her around was fun. Physically this was a perfect fit, really enjoyed it. **Plate Theory Questions:** 1). I want to connect with Cool Chick for sex again. I did the caretaker texts the next day. Didn’t sexualise in those just said I'd fun. I have the kids this weekend so it’s not gonna happen. She knows this because she did and said things that seemed she had my scheduled figured out even last weekend. Most likely from alternating my weekend on/off from the concert weekend. She'd know I was married, father and divorced. Like MRP said, a girl knows more about your routine than you do. I can't see her reaching out when she knows I can't complete. I was tempted to invite her over tonight on short notice BUT... I can be over-eager so I thought I’d checkin here first, as delay. What is a good next text to keep it going, or do I hold out for here? Also, should I sexualise the next texts and what’s my timeline here so she doesn’t slip off the hook? 2) Blondie is trying to get me to commit to dates in advance, I wanted to keep her on the roster because when I get 2+ plates I tend to smash them, rather than let them fall. With Blondie I need to do the minimum to be able to confident I didn’t deliberately smash the plate again. I would like to leave it open but I find it such an effort. And she is definitely trying to pull me into the boyfriend trap? Just keep suiting myself, right? **Secondary Characteristics with the X:** CoolChick is my age. Has never had kids and she keeps herself in very firm condition. She has a perfect city setup for herself. Cool Chicks have always been my weak spot for me, they drive me crazy. The X was one. However, my X was tall, athletic with great curves and bitchy - the too cool for school type, in her heyday she was also head turningly gorgeous. Petite CoolChick is very attractive but not gorgeous. I have been aware of trying to avoid the secondary characteristics of my X as you previously warned. Big differences are cool chick is way more open, much higher energy, very social, not judgey, not bitchy. Kind hearted girl with a large very active social circle. Basically not a snob. But the Culture, party vibe and style of the two women - my X and CoolChick would be similar. **Sourcing Younger** This year I was with a girl 17 years my junior. I would like to get another one of those on the roster. OLD isn’t surfacing this for me so I need to find a channel IRL. But approaching girls in their late 20s/early 30s seems a little weird without IOIs. And nightclubs for IOIs are difficult logistically for me so I need another venue. Ideas? **The Penny Drops… drops** Archwinger says, “a man is the only thing in the world that can achieve anything of value and everything is set up to either coerce or manipulate him to give that away.” I've said this myself, but now I'm realising it as a reality, not just a principle. I've become aware tactics like , FOMO & negging & time compression do work on me. I am giving myself more time to respond, which not only protects me but also reveals others' agendas. This delay is something the most manipulative people hate. I think this is stems significantly from the practice of “work like an aristocrat” that you have Rian. Anymore information, reading on that would be great Red Morning was great last week too btw. **Plate Preferences:** One thing I really liked with Coolchick was the following. On the last day, of the weekender, she had got up 30 mins before me. She was in another room. I grabbed my stuff to go for a shower. The moment I opened the door she came racing out of the room big smile, wrapped her arms around, kissing passionately, super happy and super excited to see me. She was raring to go. It was so delightful and charming, I had to give her a ride. I literally cannot remember the last time I had such open playful enthusiasm. I've had lots of sophisticated, trying to hide the eusthusiam but clearly been mad for it. No wait, the 30 year old was like that too, super into it and letting me know that she was mad for me and happy with whatever she got. And it drove me wild. It actually makes me want to give more. That playful, positive enthusiasm is super hot and super girly. I think this is a hard pre-requisite for plates to move up my ladder. EDIT: Stripper also nailed that a barrier to me knowing my own preferences in women was validation seeking through female beauty.
So Woke da Wookie
2024-07-31 23:20:51 +0000 UTCIt’s occurring to me now that I have to start leading the family more ASAP. My wife had begun to talk about how she envisioned raising the family and that I ought not to get in the way of how she wants to raise the kid(s). I listened and tried to understand where she was coming from, but I think I fell short in asserting how I would like to raise and lead the family. Before I didn’t feel the need to discuss expectations of my wife because I was doing me while having her along for the ride. Now it’s different, there are things I need to have her understand. I know how neurotic she is and I already I see controlling behavior like not having the kids watch tv, no video games, etc. real helicopter parent stuff. So my wife and I are out with my family eating breakfast and we all had a good time that day but as night time hit she wants to have a talk about how the day should have went. Nitpicking at little things I did. My sister handed me something that night and I took it. Wife: Don’t forget to say thank you! Me: Get off my case lady. I was also frustrated about something else that day that I didn’t share with her and she felt as though it ruined her mood. Apparently these things were such a bother to her that she initiated a talk about it when we got home. I was trying to get some sleep that night and I was not having it. Can’t remember much about the fuss she made but I told her to shut up which made her cry. I didn’t buckle though which is good. The following morning she wants to have another go at criticizing my behavior about how I conducted myself during breakfast just yesterday. I went all in on amused mastery with this. Her: I was the only one trying to make sure everyone was talking! You were on your phone when I was asking you a question! Me: We are forever in your debt! I even down right told her “you are so amusing!” Her: You’re not trying to understand me! You’re invalidating my feelings like they’re a joke! You see things like this make me want to put her in her place with these attempts to control everything and finding fault where there is none. I simply listened and dropped the amused mastery after a little bit. Fogging was the way that I ended it. Doesn’t mean I agree with her at the end of the day. I’m about to stop having these conversations altogether. I could simply say “Hey I’m not in the mood for this right now” or maybe even directly call her out for being so absurd at times. Sometimes it takes patience for me to use assertive techniques, amused mastery, etc., rather than directly telling her to stop. I don’t want to feel obligated to indulge in her feelings about everything at any given time, but girls need to talk to process shit so I guess it’s part of the deal. I’m kind of struggling to provide that hyper-comfort for my wife now that she’s pregnant. I’m making progress with that. Although, I’m still trying to treat her like an adult and not take shit from her.
Enock
2024-07-31 23:20:04 +0000 UTCFor those questions read Field Report 3. The red pill material is the sidebar.
Aaron Sheffield
2024-07-31 22:53:18 +0000 UTCHere I did you a favour. Field reports are written in past tense. Piss off with the deer diary crap! ACT (from the previous loop) Moved to a cheaper country (Poland) from Sweden, reviewed the redpill material for feedback, and wrote my field report. Ended my LTR. Took positive action to move on ASAP. This is your field report. Elaborate on this shit dude! Literally the only important part! Write it out below. Want to hear about your breakup. How did you do it? How did you handle it/her emotions? What action you took to move on! What RP materials you talking about? what did you learn or observe? did you apply any it? Most importantly ask yourself - Why did you choose to skim over this part of the field report?
will zill
2024-07-31 22:44:54 +0000 UTC"Is this hysterical bonding?" nope! "My question is: Is there anything I can do to prevent it?" Honesty. How long you will be together until you will offer her or any girl to move in? What does she have to do? then broken record your expectation. "I do these things myself and it’s kind of inconvenient." You have dropped the ball. Pick it back up. Don't let her clean your "private space". Don't let her cook more than you do. Her entitlement come from her "work" or your lack of.
will zill
2024-07-31 22:17:20 +0000 UTCkurwa not much here. Read "Day Game"
Op Sec
2024-07-31 22:02:54 +0000 UTCWrite only in the past tense. Objectives for next week isn't helping you.
Op Sec
2024-07-31 21:59:10 +0000 UTCI planed some summer holidays. Wife is busy with work, so I went alone. We went two months ago together, but now it looks like she has no time because of work. I planed a nice trip to the mountains with a nice hike in mind. Different country, different language. Because of work I am OK with the language. First evening at dinner I saw a women at the table in front of me, showing me her back though. After 5 minutes it was apparent, she was alone. Time for some catch and release. I had the chance to have a waitress that spoke english: I could order more easily. So we chatted a bit after desert. No specific intention, let's be social. I was more interested in the women in front of me. She suddenly stand up. She glanced at me and smiled, put her chair in place and went to pay. I decided to follow so that I can open her. I missed her though. The next morning she came for breakfast 10 minutes after me. Once done with my breakfast I go to her table and say "You have no book this morning ?". I noticed She read quite a lot during dinner. She answered "No I read only at night, because it is good for relaxing your mind and for sleep and ...". I bantered a bit more and then made my move "Will I again see your back tonight at dinner or will I have the chance to see your other side ?". She said "yeah sure, we could have dinner together tonight, but we will need to eat early as I have a meeting at 20:00" (a red herring from my point of view, but who cares, she said yes and could not believe it). I did that in a foreign language where I am more accustomed to say "Let's solve that with this process using best in class tools because that is best practices". I was totally prepared to have a negative answer of some sort. I went for my hike where I chatted with people along the way. I chatted with an old couple, with a father and his doughter. I even opened two young girls from Montreal better dressed for the beach than a hike and two sizes too small. It went nowhere though. For dinner I put on my best shirt and came 10 minutes late. I was afraid of being short on conversation topics. I was totally wrong: she drove the whole conversation, asked me all sorts of questions and wanted my opinion on a lot of things. She said that she overheard my conversation with the waitress. So she also noticed I was alone. Thus the smile. We had the same idea in mind. After 15 minutes I could have my first shot to know: where she was from and what she was doing in life. She is pursuing a PhD in science. I would guess she is in her late 20s. So I had a "date" with a women in her late 20s. That is a lot of difference: definitely younger, hotter and tighter. I am not prepared to cheat on my wife (this is catch and release). So the game was to see how far you can go, get an idea if she would do it, but don't do it in the end. It would have been difficult to touch-escalate as she was sitting in front of me with all the plates and stuff on the table. What can you do more besides staying aloof, be attractive and enjoy yourself ? I think I would have had a fair chance as she was invested in the discussion. I could show some "high value" and got some "whaouw" in return. She was invested in the conversation. When speaking about language difference, she mentioned that "I like you" is said in reverse "You like me" like with french "I miss you" and "tu me manques". At one point she asked out of nowhere: I don't know how to go on the terrasse, do you ? I guess this was an invitation to continue the evening and for me easier to escalate. We will never know for sure. In any case it was an eye opening evening for me and I had a good time.
Mac
2024-07-31 20:43:10 +0000 UTCField Report 1 33yo single, sexually inexperienced with a body count of 2 6’0”, 183lb – 16.5% BF via Navy Method Spent my 20s singularly chasing a career that didn’t pan out the way I wanted to. Took a sabbatical last year starting June to recover from burnout and focus on getting more sexual experience. I got into a situationship that didn’t end well and led me to RP and doing a first pass of the sidebar. Around January, I had built enough fortitude to start working out and applying intermittent fasting. This led to a 20 pound weight loss as well as more defined jawline and broader shoulders and biceps. I still have baby fat in the face and around the abs, but have noticed a positive trend in attraction from girls as time has gone on. I will say though that the consistently strong attraction comes from girls who are 5s (girls who have nice clothing but are slightly overweight). Wondering what that means about my own attractiveness, and the next best thing I can do to improve the quality of girls that get attracted to me. I’ve been experimenting around with how to be social as well as learning about girls’ behaviors and emotional responses. For example, I’ve gone to 5 speeding dating events with each event having about a dozen girls participating. It astounded me how I would have great conversation with 90% of the girls and even get cute flirty banter, and at the end of it, I would say yes to who I thought were the best 6 girls, but maybe only 1 of them would match back and it would be the one near lower on my rankings. It made me better realize that having an engaging conversation with a girl was not a reliable IOI. I’ve also gone to social events where I meet in a small group of 6-8 people for dinner where there are enough members that the people change every time. I use this as a way for me to practice my conversational skills as well as get better at recognizing IOIs. Unfortunately, I’m still in a dry spell, my last hookup being back in December with my situationship ex. I’ve had a bunch of issues that I’ve slowly worked on including approach anxiety, understanding how important it is to keep initial conversations talking about nothing of meaningful importance via Roosh’s Day Game, and working on my physical attractiveness. Last week, I had 3 girls that were willing to hookup after a night of drinking (which I recognize is less about me, and more of I was good enough for a ONS), but I recognized the signs too late and didn’t have a gameplan to isolate. So I’m getting there, but it’s been slow and frustrating. I have to take a step back because my savings are drying up, and I need to focus more on career stuff again. I’m going to stop actively trying to go to social events for the next month or so in order to get stuff for my job on track and then I’ll restart. I’ll still be working out, and I’m going to start reading Heartiste’s stuff for this month.
lemon
2024-07-31 20:31:03 +0000 UTCYeah I think the untidiness is a bit excessive. If my wife were dead it'd definitely still bother me, or if I were to bring a girl home, etc. I don't see where you think I made a NYR, doesn't seem to me that I made any unespecific objectives
Hill364
2024-07-31 20:20:35 +0000 UTCGoal 1. For 4 weeks write out “incidents” immediately after they happen. 2. Teach Concept’s to retain information more efficiently. Reply 2 posts, 2 concepts per reply. 3.Read room and consider my goals/motives before acting. report 2 instances, 1 of failure 1 of success. Context Relationship is good, dynamic is fun, playful and flirty most of the time. Jabs and teasing, she gets a few good ones in every now and then, I lap on the validation. Parenting – 3 x 5yr olds all starting school next year. Hence dread escalation. Monday Setting Expectations and Boundaries, I had a performance rehearsal with the kids, late in the afternoon. Kids were loud, obnoxious and annoying. I had to raise my voice 4-5 times. Telling them off for not following instructions, in the company of other kids. Partner was there being an inanimate object with the other mums present. I was annoyed she just sat there, But I also didn’t know exactly what I wanted her to do, so I just STFU. It was poorly planned on my part; I had no real idea what was going to happen before we showed up. I had all the equipment, food, extra clothes etc. that we needed. It was the behaviour management aspect. Normally when events happens, I prep them a day in advance and again in the car, it didn’t happen this time. Upon reflection I could have pulled them all aside early on and set expectation, boundaries and alternatives. That Night 1. We created a list of extra equipment for Wednesday & Thursday’s session. 2. Got Details on exact timing for the events. Worked out a plan. On Tuesday 1. Prepare kids. “tomorrow we staying out late to do dancing again ect. 2. Prepare partner – What to prepare, what I want her to do, How she can help me ect. Wednesday Event went smoothly. Kids did exactly what was asked of them. Partner prepped everything she needed to but was a bit too passive at the event. Reading the room, (becoming aware of the states everyone’s in and asking myself what do I want, do they deserve my time/attention, how do I want the exchange to feel ect.) Throughout the week I conscious engaged in this practice. I noticed that once I was actually looking, issues seemed to just resolve themselves. Seeing how I behaved at work and how they reacted to my presence, then would intuitively meet them where they were at or draw them toward whatever interacted I wanted. (this happened naturally before, just not as obvious, or fast) Also, I never noticed before how much my partner looks on me. She is constantly checking. I don’t know maybe I looked retarded while I was doing it she was wonder “wtf is this dickhead doing” Hahah. Ill keep up the practice and see what I notice over the next few weeks. I did up the scale for anger too. Expressing anger for sits around 4-6. I'll put it in replies
will zill
2024-07-31 19:49:12 +0000 UTCField Report 4 VISION [for my average week day (let’s say Tuesday) in 5 years, first iteration] I’ll wake up at 10am. I have time to read a science fiction novel, work from my house for 5 to 6 hours, workout for 1.5 hours, and take care of my future (not even conceived yet) child when needed. I expect my LTR to add what I consider to be a sufficient amount of what I consider value. Value means sex, childcare, and money (for chores or leisure) or labor (chores or leisure) or both so I can have what I consider an acceptable balance between work and relaxation. MISSION (for August 2025) I already saved enough money to call it a minimal war-chest. I am already in the position of abundance and optionality with respect to dating. I already learned a set of statistical methods I have been interested in for a long while. My physique is ideal (need to set measures for this one). I already finished with the whole sidebar. Secure a social network (friends) in this new country. I have already gained the habit of writing bi-weekly field reports. ACT (from the previous loop) Moved to a cheaper country (Poland) from Sweden, reviewed the redpill material for feedback, and wrote my field report. Ended my LTR. Took positive action to move on ASAP. OBSERVE Age: 37 Found the redpill (i.e., rule zero dudes) 2.5 years ago. Height: 1.85 m, Weight: 87 kg Stronglifts 5X5: Squat 70kg | Overhead Press: 30kg | Deadlift: 85kg Gym: 5/week Income: 100K USD/yearly Country: Started living in Poland since this week Job satisfaction: High Savings: very low Relationship status: Single since 2 weeks ago. Lasted 1 year and 6 months (lifetime record for me). The relationship started degrading 3 months before, though. Wardrobe: Mediocre Emotional status: depressed, angry with myself for feeling depressed Social Media Image: Mediocre Social Image: I talk to much ORIENT My depression stems from the fact that I had not interiorised yet the mental model “It’s not yours, it's just your turn”. I am feeling the grief of losing something that I emotionally considered as mine, but of course never was. My current financial situation and location allows me to easily save enough money for a 6-months war-chest after a year, assuming my expenses remain constant. When dating preventing overinvesting materially or emotionally should be a priority (“abundance mentality” and the “2/3 rule”) I’ll approach daygame in a systematic way within the framework of incremental gains and “high hopes, but low expectations”. I’ll used Dating Apps as well DECIDE Live frugally, but comfortably Study enough daygame to create an initial template I can iterate from. Approach 2 girls a day and strive for their contact information (high hopes for an actual date, but low expectations) Refactor my social media accounts Get into Polish classes Write my next field report Shut the fuck up unless there is a useful point to it Learn the culture to avoid embarrassing everyone with my latino culture (haha)
Aaron Sheffield
2024-07-31 19:28:24 +0000 UTCyeah, stop fighting with her.
Op Sec
2024-07-31 19:17:36 +0000 UTCDo you think you are so sloby that it makes you unattractive? Do you want to be an attractive person? Maybe you should start caring about tidiness because that's the type of person you want to be, or maybe not it doesn't matter. If your wife was dead how much would you care? What if you were bringing a girl home? The goal is not to LARP as an attractive person but to become one. Why did you want a new car for her and not for you? you wrote your new years resolution. I doubt you will do it. Make a deal with yourself, no writing about shit until it is done. No dopamine for you unless you do a thing.
Op Sec
2024-07-31 19:13:40 +0000 UTCIs this hysterical bonding? Been with this girl for two years and since January we’ve been fighting every two months where she wants to “take the next step” and move in together but i don’t want to. Every fight follows the same script Her: why don’t you want to move in with me? Me: coz i wont be able to jerk off in the living room while eating cereal Her: no seriously what’s the problem. Every couple moves in together Me: guess we’re special Her: you don’t trust me. That’s why you don’t open up to me Me: it has nothing to do with you. I like to have my private space Her: i understand you. You know I’ll never try to take your private space from you. So why don’t you want to move in? Me: coz I don’t and this conversation is over ( im irritated by this point and say it angrily) Her: why are you shouting at me? Me: i walk away and she keeps following me Her: maybe i need to rethink our relationship. Let’s take some time off from each other Me : as you wish We don’t talk to each other and after two days she calls me saying she don’t want to fight. Let’s not talk about it and see how it goes. We get back together and the pattern repeats again after two months. Right now she’s pretty heavily involved in my daily life. She cooks, cleans, sex is good and we workout together. And when we’re not talking i do these things myself and it’s kind of inconvenient. So every two months, i waste an hour fighting and then i have to do household chores for two days. I’m okay with this arrangement but I’m guessing she comes back because of hysterical bonding and this will fade over time. My question is: Is there anything I can do to prevent it? I would like to keep this girl around
Goten
2024-07-31 18:59:34 +0000 UTCFR #2 30yo, married 2y (together for 10), 1yo son. 5’7”, 172lbs (starting weight 180), 22% BF on last measure (1wk ago) Finished NMMNG and WISNIFG. Currently on Rational Male. Reading basics over and over again. Working out three times a week regularly, aswell as playing tennis twice a week. Good week of diet, measurements going down. As pointed out last week I can definitely tell my efforts to not be a slob have elements of covert contract. I don’t really care much about the tidiness, but at the same time I can see it’s an unattractive quality and I wish to improve it. How do you all proceed in these types of situations? I think I did a lot better on avoiding DEERING and fixing feelings. Had a talk with the wife about trading cars, I wanted to trade hers (worse) first and she wanted to trade mine (older). She pointed out she thinks I don’t like her car and I caught myself before going into my explanation on why we should change hers first. Instead just AA’d, she laughed and it was done. Thinking back there may be some Nice Guy elements here, in that I’m avoiding getting a much better car for myself than hers, which I would definitely like. We had many talks about the son’s anemia issue (which improved very much on this weeks tests – there was a possible suspiscion of leukemia but that was ruled out), and I did very well on avoiding fixing her feelings. I’m not sure if there’s a correlation but my wife has a tendency to keep bad feelings to herself, and since I’ve worked on avoiding fixing feelings she has been much more open, talkative. It seems to me that since I’m not yapping so much the polarity is a little bit better and she’s more feminine. Any one else with similar experiences? Objectives for next week is to keep daily caloric deficit and be conscious to avoid DEERing/fixing feelings.
Hill364
2024-07-31 18:17:12 +0000 UTCShitty-Comfort Tests Girl kept on with the shitty comfort tests. I let her cry and snot while teasing her and laughing. Then took her into a game: - So, let’s play a game where I say the things I did and I’ll give you options for the reasons I did it. The more you get right, the more kisses you get - Ok - Yesterday, when I left the shower early was it because: - I don’t like you anymore - I was getting too hot *she smiles while crying* - Today, when I left early for the gym was it because: - I don’t like you anymore - I woke up naturally and wanted to train *she starts laughing while crying* - Today, when I said I would walk the dog while you eat breakfast, was it because - I don’t like you anymore - I want to walk the dog ASAP because we’re leaving in the afternoon *she starts laughing* Then I finish off with: - When you feel insecure, don’t say “You blah blah blah”, instead, say “I feel like you don’t like me anymore”. Make it about you and not about me. She agreed and started doing that - from shitty comfort tests to normal comfort tests.
Owning My Shit
2024-07-31 18:06:36 +0000 UTC
