In Reverse, Part 2

As embarrassing as my situation is, I have to admit I'm enjoying the return of my teenage energy. I'd forgotten what it was like, how much easier it was just to move around. I actually caught myself running the other day, just because I could. It felt great. I felt great. No more body aches or pains, and with Ethan back home, I no longer have to worry so much about Thomas and Sophie. I'm free to spend more time doing the things I wanted to do, and I've been taking advantage of this, playing video games and basketball when I'm not working on reversing my regression.

Of course, it's not all positive. First of all, I've already noticed I'm less interested in my research and more interested in playing and goofing off. I'm also physically smaller than my oldest kid, and I've begun to feel like a kid next to Ethan. That's not just my size either.

One morning after I'd lost track of time and stayed up until one in the morning playing video games, he sat me down after dinner. "Dad, I know you're having a tough time with this regression and you're trying to make the best of it, but you were up really late last night playing games. You're younger now, and you're going to get younger. There's nothing wrong with playing games, but don't you think it's a good idea to go to bed at an earlier time to make sure you get plenty of rest?"

I looked at him for a long moment, and I couldn't help feeling like a kid who was in trouble. "You're right. It was irresponsible of me. I won't do that again."

"So, you'll start going to bed at an earlier time regularly?"

"Well, I don't know about that."

"Look at it from Sophie's point of view. You're just about her age and will soon be younger. If she sees you, her dad, staying up later than she is, she'll want to stay up later too."

"So, you want me to go to bed when Sophie does?"

"Don't you think that would be a good idea for both of you guys?"

I couldn't argue. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll, uh, I'll start going to bed at eleven." As I realized my son had just given me a bedtime, I knew there would be many more humiliations to come.

I'm keeping this journal to record my experiences in this process and my thoughts about them. One funny and slightly irritating thing about my change is that I've started getting zits again. I pop them when they're ready without worrying about scarring because, as I get younger, any scars my acne causes will vanish along the way. Likewise, my sex drive has returned to its former teenage height. I've taken to finding some privacy to masturbate every day. It's nice to be able to enjoy it without the confusion and guilt I experienced the first time I was in puberty. It's also great not to have homework or school this time.

Of course, I still go to "work," although it's much different now that I'm a test subject and even more so now that I've regressed. The difference in the way my former co-workers treat me is undeniable. Most of them now literally look down on me as I'm so much shorter than they are, and they're much more guarded in the way they talk to and around me. They don't share data like they used to, and even friendly conversation is different. I used to be able to talk to them about relationships and sex, but none of them is comfortable doing that now. They say it freaks them out to talk about things like that with someone who looks like a kid. I've lost most of the priveleges they allowed me after I lost my job and became a subject. They rarely even leave me alone in the lab anymore. If I'm working with one of them and they need to do something else, they'll suggest I go work with someone else for a while, as if they were handing me off to a babysitter. I'm keenly aware of all of this, and every incident hurts a little bit as constant reminders of the loss of status that accompanied my loss of age.

The research team runs a daily age check to determine how old I am physically, and today's test showed that I'm now sixteen-years-old. I'm now as old as Sophie. My relationship with her had already changed since I regressed past adulthood, and now we're closer than we've ever been. You know how parents want to be their kids' friends? Well, I get to have that more than I did before since Ethan took over running the house. She obviously regards me as more like a brother than her dad, and that's understandable. But there's no "sibling" rivalry between us. She's an interesting person, and we have a lot of fun together. Sometimes, we just talk, something that's good for both of us. Suddenly, I'm someone with experience who actually understands a lot of what she's feeling and going through at her age, and she's become a sympathetic ear.

"Are you scared, Dad?" She still called me that, but of course, I had no idea how long it would last.

"Yeah, of course I am. I mean, it's not all bad. It's great to be young again and have all this energy. You have no idea how tired you get when you're older and how much you miss not feeling like that! I'm having more fun than I've had in a long time." I fell silent for a moment, and she looked at me.

"But?"

"But I have no idea how far this is gonna go. When's it gonna stop? What if it doesn't stop? I'm already a teenager again, and if I keep going, I'll be a kid. That could be fun, but I'll lose a lot too. No more driving, for example. And, like, how smart will I be?"

"Yeah. That does sound scary. But maybe the lab will stop it before that happens."

"And if they don't, I could keep going and get even younger! I could--"

"Don't worry. If that happens, we'll take care of you."

"But that's not how it's supposed to be. You guys shouldn't be taking care of your dad, no matter how big or little or old or young he is. I'm supposed to take care of you guys!"

"And you have. But maybe it'll be our turn to take care of you. I mean, you can't help what's happening to you."

"No, and that's one thing that bothers me the most. I did this to myself! And I can't fix it! I just feel so stupid."

Sophie must not have known what to say because she just hugged me.

It's been about a week since I hit sixteen, and now they've aged me at fifteen. I'm younger than Sophie and only a little bit taller than she is. The sensitivity she showed me last week has become more commonplace, and she's begun checking in on me from time to time the way she does with Thomas. She's slipping into the role of a big sister. It's not really a bad thing. Actually, it's kinda reassuring, but at the same time, it's embarrassing and scary. I'm the only man in the world who can say that his son is his big brother and his daughter is his big sister, and it's crazy to find myself listening to them and being taken care of by them when I should be the one in charge, looking after them. And I feel like it's a sign of things to come, like I can look forward to a lot more of this embarrassment.

When this all started, Thomas seemed to be more scared and confused than I was. We all reassured him as well as we could, and we made it clear that he would be taken care of no matter what happened. But now that I'm younger than Sophie and getting shorter, he's begun to get excited about my regression. I've caught him measuring himself against me a couple of times, checking to see how much taller I am than him. I'm still about a head taller than him, but we both know that may not last much longer. I've been spending more time with him since I regressed, and I can tell he's gotten more competitive in the games we play lately. He's looking forward to the day when he's bigger and better at certain things than his dad. It may just be a coping mechanism for him, but I'm dreading it.