VR Ideas & Yearly Reflection

Hi friends,

For those who do not want to read the long reflection below (I do not blame you lol), I am hoping to solicit any VR ideas you may have, as I am hoping to organize a VR shoot with Lauren Ashlyn this month, in order to ensure I do not have a lull in VR content, as I try to reach out to new models this upcoming year.

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Below are some disorganized ramblings from the heart regarding 2022:

Reflecting back on this past year, I am both disappointed with my output but also proud of the strides I have made in editing. Last year wound up being the perfect storm for things going wrong, in terms of running out of a reserve of clips to edit for the first time, paired with moving twice, having my long-term relationship come to an end, and experiencing permanent hearing-loss. As this page has grown over the years, I have struggled to find a good normal-work/editing-work balance, since the page makes enough money that I feel obligated to churn things out, but not enough money for me to be able to quit my normal job. As I have emphasized in the past, I am not a very well-off person, and this page is quite literally the only way I have been able to afford to pay models and buy props to even shoot content at all. I am sure there are some creators who are able to afford to take short term losses for long term profits (or perhaps who do not adequately compensate non-professional models, or who shoot for free with their partners), but without a reserve of money, paying for a ton of shoots upfront or for a studio space/Airbnb has never been in the cards for me. When I first started this page, it was probably easier to dedicate all of my spare time towards editing giantess stuff, because I believed I might be able to turn this into a full-time gig, rather than something I do on the side for the love of it. But over the years with piracy, I have often questioned if the way I am running things is a bit old-school, refusing to adapt to the modern Internet, still wanting people to be able to leave my page with something that lasts forever (in this case, a download that will exist long after I stop producing content, whenever that day may come). Not to mention, I have not adapted to the move towards shorter form FX content over longer videos, as I still value the feeling that comes from watching a longer story unfold (or the fact that my content is less appealing to mainstream sensibilities). Over the last few years with Covid, my life has also been a bit stagnant, doing my best to get by month to month after losing my pre-Covid job. Combined with my own struggles with mental health issues, it has been difficult to plan ahead with content when money is tight (but I do think that since starting therapy a few months ago, things have been becoming a bit less chaotic upstairs).

With that being said, I do feel as though my content is getting significantly better in some regards, especially as it relates to how I am sound editing VR clips. Anytime I look back at some of my first VR clips, I can hardly believe the sound editing choices I made. And yet, I still know there are lots of details I could be improving upon, not to mention experimenting with new sounds. I am enlisting the help of a friend of mine who is a professional audio engineer to help improve my sound editing skills next month. I have also been considering learning how to utilize some form of visual SFX, though the prospect has seemed a bit daunting. For now, I am going to continue using the props. However, my main goal next year has less to do with improving any particular skill, and more to do with attempting to shoot with some new models, hoping to bring some new energy to the clips.

Over the last two years while working a normal job and working on this page, I have also spent a lot of time working on PhD applications, and I think that if I don't get into any programs this year (I wound up getting waitlisted to a few programs last year), I am probably going to abandon that dream, and my time should theoretically open up a little more. Perhaps that will be a kick that allows me to refocus and rededicate myself towards trying to make this more of a sustainable project (as this has been the main thing in my life that anyone has ever taken much of an interest to). Now that I have been doing this for a couple of years, I can also say that I have not found a good way to balance taking breaks, as editing this stuff constantly can take a toll on your mental health, spending so much of your free time in a sexualized headspace. However, something I will give myself credit for is sticking to something I struggled with in years past, which is no longer trying to fit in way too much content into a single shoot, and instead, trying to make sure that each clip is special and thoughtfully planned out. Sure, it is probably not the best business decision, but I would much rather leave a shoot with one or two good clips over six mediocre ones. Because even when I spend more time on shooting a single clip at a shoot, at the end of the day these are still on-the-fly productions, and mistakes will always be made that you cannot go back and fix. However, it is important to limit the number of mistakes so that I can spend less time trying to fix mistakes while editing (I wish there was a way I could show you some of the weird things I have to come up with in order to salvage a clip to make some awful transition work or adapt to missing a necessary shot LOL). 

Right now, I have two clips in the works, one with Syra Wolf that is in the process of finding a proper soundtrack, and one with Cali Logan that is still in the rough draft phase. Beyond that, I have planned out two full-length clips with Lauren Ashlyn that we should be shooting in late January, along with a VR shoot that is still up for grabs, ideas-wise.

As always, thank you for the support, as it is your support that keeps me feeling like I ought to keep working on producing this content :)

Love y'all,

gq