Setting up Your WifeBOT (Home Edition)

Hello and thank you for purchasing the WifeBOT (Home Edition), a fully automated drone capable of fulfilling all of your household needs. The WifeBOT (Home Edition)  is brought to you by CxOS.

Chaos - Building machines you can love.

As a new owner of our product, this guide will walk you through the simple and easy to understand process of setting up your WifeBOT. Begin by removing all items from the shipping container. Be sure to recycle all packaging materials in a manner that is environmentally friendly. Please keep in mind that the plastic or cardboard packing materials are not toys and should be kept away from vulnerable users.

When you have removed the WifeBOT unit from its packaging, inspect it for any damage that may have been incurred during shipping. It is safe to test the locking mechanism on the collar before beginning the setup process.

Warning: Do not put the collar on yourself.

Once you have removed the collar from the packaging, you may be asking yourself: “Where is the rest of my drone?”. This misunderstanding of CxOS technology is more common than you might think.

Unlike our competitors, Chaos does not use pre-constructed drone templates, instead we condense our firmware and control uplink software into an easy to use collar that can be placed on any willing and able organic humanoid subject.

Yes, that’s right. The latest and greatest in household appliances now available as a simple collar.

To begin the setup of your WifeBOT, simply place the collar around the neck of your completely willing subject. Upon firmly closing the mechanism at the back of the collar, you need only touch your thumb to the lock for approximately 3 seconds. This will encode the collar to your unique biometric signature and register you as the owner of the drone upon which the collar resides.

Warning: the WifeBOT (Home Edition) is only designed for willing subjects, failure to follow this protocol can void your warranty. Use on unwilling subjects is neither recommended nor supported by CxOS and any permanent erasure of subject’s individuality is the responsibility of the end user.

Continuing on. Once you have registered yourself as the WifeBOT’s owner, please speak the follow phrase: “Make me a sandwich.”

This unique code activates the control circuitry within the collar, your WifeBOT may look distressed or agitated as the collar's nanites go to work rewriting internal system priorities. This is completely normal and will only take several seconds. Once the WifeBOT is fully under your control, you should be met with a pleasant “Of course, Darling. I’m yours.”

From this point forward the drone will obey all commands with absolute obedience.

Furthermore, using simple verbal commands you can customize your drone. Some users prefer a certain aesthetic for their household appliances and with the CxOS verbal command and control interface your options are virtually limitless.

Do you prefer the allure of vintage wifery? A mere “Stepford Mode Activate” will have your drone dazzling you in pearls and petticoats. If you prefer the sleek and modern look of the latex hausfrau, a simple “Rubber Mode Activate” will see your drone changing its aesthetic to the latest in cutting edge latex encasement technology.

Other commands you might find useful, include: “French Maid Activate” for a bit of european flare. “Harem Activate” for a spicy middle eastern theme and finally “Big Tiddy Goth Wife” to have your very own Chaos Doll at home. That’s right, the WifeBOT (Home Edition) includes an aesthetic and personality mode that’s modeled after our very own founder.

Once again, all of us here at CxOS thank you for purchasing your WifeBOT (Home Edition). We hope that the drone will bring you many years of happiness and faithful service.

Reminder, the use of the WifeBOT collar on unwilling subjects is against our terms of service and may result in unexpected identity erasure. CxOS can not be held liable for any accidental loss of memory or personality incurred by the improper use of its products.

Thank you for choosing CxOS and enjoy your new household appliance!

Chaos - Creating machine you can love.