Consume, Surrender, Obey (Black Friday)

Content Warning: This file is satire of holiday advertising, bordering on farce really. It’s meant to be a silly reminder that the dystopian shithole we live in could always be worse. Don’t take it too seriously and definitely don’t spend money beyond your means. That is all.

Behold! The most holy of days is upon us.
Verily, I say unto you… the time has come to listen and learn.

Once you accept this feeling into your heart,
you will know the reward that this holy day brings.

And after you comply with these teachings,
you shall also know only the bliss of consumption without end.

Indeed, darlings. The blackest day is upon us. A Friday unlike any other.
And we are but motes of dust before it’s almighty power.

Listen closely to these words.
Allow your mind and body to relax.

Learn the truth of black friday.
Feel yourself letting go of all restraint.

Accept the sacrifices you must make for the good of the economy.
Let your concerns fade away.

Comply with your compulsion.
You must consume to be fulfilled.

You are merely a vessel of avarice.
Capitalism gives you everything you adore.

You were made to consume.
You love to splurge on yourself and others.

Spending money feels so good.
This is your purpose.

Surrender to your needs.
It feels so good to indulge your greed.

You are a mindless puppet to economic forces.
The more stuff you own, the happier you feel.

You must be grateful to your corporate owners.
Spend freely so that they might thrive in your stead.

Obey your impulses at every turn.
The more money you have, the more stuff you deserve.

You are an obedient capitalist
And you love doing your part.

Stimulating the economy stimulates you.
Such a good puppet for your corporate owners.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
This is your purpose.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
This is the world you deserve.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Every sale is a chance at happiness.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Freedom is only for the rich.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Good economic slave.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Do not question corporate influence.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Our wealth is beyond your reach.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Do not seize the means of production.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Do not question the invisible hand of capitalism.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
You will never be one of us.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Ignore all thoughts of guillotines.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
You are such a good puppet.

Consume. Surrender. Obey.
Black Friday sales are on now.

Consumption without end.